tried..but failed...why..

I tried to purge. via vomiting. for those of you that know me...that's not something I can do. for some incredibly stupid reason...I am physically unable to vomit...not for lack of trying that's for sure. I did a bit, but not enough. i failed even at something so simple...that's how i feel right now. and i know that's bad.

what did i purge over? 300 freaking calories. that's IT! it's nothing but then again it's everything...it's 300 somethings that will haunt me for the rest of the day. 300 failures. i'm starting to realize...that i'm in a bad place right now. i need....i don't know what exactly i need but...i need.

Yes.. yes.. you do so need.. love and kindness...and more love.. and some help..

I am so very worried about you....(((hugs)))... your poor body... it needs food.....

((((you trying to purge is big.. huge.. you don't like to vomit)...

what can we do sweetie is there a T... or support group... or... can you log on here everyday.. and we support you...

lil bit, I am sorry you are struggling. I am having a tough time of it right now...I don't have the answers...but, at least know you are not alone.

thanks guys...it does mean a lot to know that someone out there is listening. I log on here every day... multiple times a day usually...

lately i've been considering a T, never had one...but things are starting to get bad. after i posted this, i went to work...had some problems...hid in my car and gave in to SI. these things are not a good combination at all...no...I tried to talk to two of my best friends IRL at work but I just couldn't get the words out...I don't even know what words i wanted out in the first place...