[LucyD]

[friendly75]

I'm finding that keeping my calendar pretty free is allowing me to pay closer attention to my overeating. I've discovered some foods to simply cut out because they cause me to eat more. I've discovered what snacks I can control myself with. I've discovered that I have to change a lot of my habits.

Yesterday I ordered a small pizza and only had two slices, which was a huge win. But then I ate all of a huge salad. I think I eat for emotional reasons and attended my first Overeaters Anonymous meeting a few weeks ago. It was very, very painful to be there and face this problem head-on. FYI, if you go to the OA website you can find local and online meeting schedules.

Hope you all are having a good eating day today. So far, I'm okay today.

[Gr3tta_0]

I had some wins and more losses today, but I'm just keeing on keeping on!
All the best to all those here. 😊

[Albatross2008]

Doing well, but still had trouble meeting my calorie minimum today.

[Gr3tta_0]

@Blue_Bird i wussed out on sharing ED history, but my heart and anesthesia were fine.
I was unable to get the procedure completed due to my anatomy, which is very upsetting. I will have to decide about a bigger surgery. Thanks for your support!

I hope you are doing well! Do you have any Farmer's Markets where you live? They're about to start where i live, and their produce is the best. If you have a food assistance card, you get double your money on fresh produce in my city. And it lasts longer, too, since it hasn't been on a truck for months first!

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta_0

@Blue_Bird i wussed out on sharing ED history, but my heart and anesthesia were fine.
I was unable to get the procedure completed due to my anatomy, which is very upsetting. I will have to decide about a bigger surgery. Thanks for your support!

I hope you are doing well! Do you have any Farmer's Markets where you live? They're about to start where i live, and their produce is the best. If you have a food assistance card, you get double your money on fresh produce in my city. And it lasts longer, too, since it hasn't been on a truck for months first!

I'm sorry you were unable to get the surgery, I wish you luck on your decision regarding the bigger surgery

I'm doing well, we have farmers market here too, actually it's right down the street from where I live and just opened the other day, that's a great idea

[LucyD]

Hi. I hope everyone enjoys their holiday weekend.

[Blue_Bird]

Hello, haven't checked in here in awhile. I've been doing well, almost 2 months into recovery. Hope everyone is doing okay

[LucyD]

Hi BB! Nice to see you. I'm on a "I'll eat what I want" thing right now. Oh well, enjoying myself.

[Blueberrybook]

Still here. Working on finding out the cause of my iron-deficiency anemia. So many tests, labs, doctors, just sick of it. Hematologist thinks most likely source is Protonix (acid reducer in stomach, but you need acid to absorb iron), gastritis (found by endoscopy), and an effect from perforated duodenal ulcer surgery.

Underweight still, but I did gain a few pounds (ugh, feel horribly fat).

Hematologist put me on iron infusions (2 infusions, had the 2nd yesterday). Can't tell a difference yet, but supposedly it's different for everyone, a week or more is common, I'm told.

I do have more energy after being on iron pills and infusions, ran again this morning, probably too much, some motivation to do things now and again like vacuum, organize my office, write a poem. So maybe I could be worse off?

And yet the stupid thoughts, the dumb ED lingers on...

[Blueberrybook]

I let the time get away from me and am now eating breakfast at 11:15 AM though I've been up since 5 AM. Many days I do this. I wonder if I unconsciously do this on purpose? Having vanilla yogurt with granola mixed in now but know I need to eat more. I'm considering the fruit I have.

Am I the only one who does this? It has been happening a lot with me lately.

[zigokubana]

My therapist keeps saying things that insinuate that I'm fat, or at least come across that way. I don't know, an ED brain twists things a lot. I also got upset because my foot, which is swollen due to bruising the bones, looks fat. Ugh.

[happysobercrafter]

I saw a new doctor (actually she's a nurse practitioner) and she patiently explained to me how important thyroid meds are plus being taken at the same time, on an empty stomach. So, today is my first day following those instructions. I am really tired this morning, but that could be because I had a long day yesterday.

So, today I will work on eating better than I did yesterday.

[Victoria'smom]

Hi, I've slipped but trying really hard to get back to recovery. I've ate 2x today so that's good. I'm trying. Stupid gastritis, stupid me for getting off meds, stupid psychosis. I hope this is a temporary blip. I have to tell my pdoc tomorrow, not fun.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Hi, I've slipped but trying really hard to get back to recovery. I've ate 2x today so that's good. I'm trying. Stupid gastritis, stupid me for getting off meds, stupid psychosis. I hope this is a temporary blip. I have to tell my pdoc tomorrow, not fun.

Did you let your pdoc know?

[Blueberrybook]

Doing OK with eating, though the ED tells me it is bad. I'm seeming not to care quite as much right now. Maybe it's the extra iron, having to exercise less because of the heat, a lot going on with life in general. Not bad things, just things changing - H's job, daughter out of elementary school and off for summer, started a couple organization projects, etc.

I've avoided the scale since last Wed. or Thursday. Not sure how much longer I can though.

[childofchaos831]

Having a hard time. The psych hospital started me on a new medicine (I got out a week ago) and it's causing edema and some weight gain. My pdoc is switching me to a more weight neutral med, mostly because of the edema. But between last appointment and today's, the scale showed a large weight gain. I know some of it is the edema but even the number is messing with my head. I want to go back to purging daily because of it. I haven't purged in over 3 years. The urges are so strong right now though...

[Victoria'smom]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Did you let your pdoc know?

I did. She said I look healthy. Said to get the gastritis under control then worry about the ED. She asked if I wanted to be weighed. I said no. I see her in 3 months.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

Having a hard time. The psych hospital started me on a new medicine (I got out a week ago) and it's causing edema and some weight gain. My pdoc is switching me to a more weight neutral med, mostly because of the edema. But between last appointment and today's, the scale showed a large weight gain. I know some of it is the edema but even the number is messing with my head. I want to go back to purging daily because of it. I haven't purged in over 3 years. The urges are so strong right now though...

I’m so sorry. When I first got on psych meds, I was young, 18 or 19. They put me on Remeron, and I didn’t know any better. That med makes nearly everyone gain weight; vets even use it to stimulate appetite in cats and dogs. In my case, I gained fast because all I did was eat and sleep, but it felt so out of my control. Nearly turned to bulimia but I physically can not make myself throw up except a handful of times.

Edema is awful though. I had it happen once when I changed brands of birth control pill. In just over a week, I was so swollen. Had to stop the pill. And it happened at the end of pregnancy (just the normal amount expected especially when you go pas5 your due date like I did), but that you just pretty much pee out.

Did the doc weigh you or are you weighing yourself between appts. If it’s at the pdoc’s, can you ask to be weighed backwards ? I am assuming your pdoc knows your history with EDs?

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I did. She said I look healthy. Said to get the gastritis under control then worry about the ED. She asked if I wanted to be weighed. I said no. I see her in 3 months.

Yeah, looking healthy and being healthy are 2 different things though. How are you doing with eating today?

Do you have a GI doc treating the gastritis? Are you on medication for it, like a proton pump inhibitor? Though those come with their own series of problems. I’m on Protonix. It could be some of the reason I’m have iron anemia (you need enough stomach acid to absorb the iron). I have gastritis as well.

[Blueberrybook]

Mixed up 2 meds this AM during a bad panic attack (have those pills set aside in bottles as they are prn). Yesterday, I picked up a Trazodone prescription, and I must have put it with the prn meds. Trazodone in the 50 mg form is the same shape, size, color as one of the prn meds. I then ended up taking Trazodone, or so I figure, sleepy as I felt. Had to cancel appointment with T because I wasn’t sure I’d be alert enough to drive, so that sucks. I got really, really nauseous. Couldn’t manage even a light lunch until 2 PM. Really still don’t feel hungry, and I was planning baked potatoes for dinner. Not sure if I can face that or have to have something more like soup and sandwich. Still think I am waiting for the full effect of the Trazodone to wear off. I guess I have no tolerance for it any more. I took a 50 mg pill this AM, but I usually cut them in half, take only 25 mg at night. There was a time I needed 400, 450 mg to sleep, and even that didn’t always work.

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I’m so sorry. When I first got on psych meds, I was young, 18 or 19. They put me on Remeron, and I didn’t know any better. That med makes nearly everyone gain weight; vets even use it to stimulate appetite in cats and dogs. In my case, I gained fast because all I did was eat and sleep, but it felt so out of my control. Nearly turned to bulimia but I physically can not make myself throw up except a handful of times.


Edema is awful though. I had it happen once when I changed brands of birth control pill. In just over a week, I was so swollen. Had to stop the pill. And it happened at the end of pregnancy (just the normal amount expected especially when you go pas5 your due date like I did), but that you just pretty much pee out.


Did the doc weigh you or are you weighing yourself between appts. If it’s at the pdoc’s, can you ask to be weighed backwards ? I am assuming your pdoc knows your history with EDs?

The pdoc weighs me at the office when I come in. I usually don't weigh myself. I can get obsessive about weighing if I start so I just don't.

I'm hoping a lot of the weight was the edema. I'm tempted to go weigh myself on my mom's scale. Since I stopped the medicine, the edema has gone down a lot. It's not all the way gone yet but it's lessened.

I'm wanting to restrict too. Which is bad especially, because I have diabetes, and my blood sugar can drop and make me sick. It's 5:30pm and I've only eaten once today. I'm hungry, but I don't want to eat.

I can't make myself throw up either, honestly. I used to abuse laxatives for purging. Any time I genuinely need them, it's triggering. I hate having to take them. I don't keep any in the house ever. My brain is telling me to go buy some, and I'm trying to fight it, but it's getting really hard.

I'm honestly not sure if I have been honest with my pdoc about the ED. It's been so long since I've acted out on it that I don't mention it with my history usually. It's one of those things that I'm hesitant to have labeled. It follows you, you know. If it's mentioned, when you're in the hospital, they watch what you eat and don't let you go to your room for awhile after meals. It just seems like a lot of judgement follows when your labeled with an ED.

The thoughts of wanting to purge are strong today. And my brain is like, if you don't eat then you don't have to purge. I hate my brain. I want to just be able to enjoy food like a normal person.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm honestly not sure if I have been honest with my pdoc about the ED. It's been so long since I've acted out on it that I don't mention it with my history usually. It's one of those things that I'm hesitant to have labeled. It follows you, you know. If it's mentioned, when you're in the hospital, they watch what you eat and don't let you go to your room for awhile after meals. It just seems like a lot of judgement follows when your labeled with an ED.

It's important to mention all the same, even if you don't act out on it.

I suppose there are some people fortunate enough to recover 100%, but I never have. Even when I'm doing well, healthy weight, eating fine, not overexercising, I still have those ED thoughts/voices in my head. Sure, sometimes not as much or as strong or it's easier not to act on them and ignore them, but when life gets tough, it tends to be one of the coping mechanisms I embrace first, again and again.

I was diagnosed with anorexia over 20 years ago, so yeah, it comes back all the time, or the thoughts were awful too when I had to gain weight because I was pregnant with my daughter. The doctor only asked for the standard 25-35 lb., and I gained around 30 and felt enormous and wanted to do all the ED things but couldn't because of the baby. OB made me get right on a waiting list for a pdoc even before my third trimester.

I haven't had pdocs focusing on the ED unless I let them know the thoughts were bad or they could tell I was losing too much weight and made me step on the scale. I do think it's something your pdoc, even all your doctors should be aware of. These things can affect you medically down the road even if you were fully immersed in the ED for a short time frame.

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I haven't had pdocs focusing on the ED unless I let them know the thoughts were bad or they could tell I was losing too much weight and made me step on the scale. I do think it's something your pdoc, even all your doctors should be aware of. These things can affect you medically down the road even if you were fully immersed in the ED for a short time frame.

I've mentioned it to my stomach doc because I still have problems from the laxative abuse. Do one doc knows, but that's it. I caused damage to my system from the laxatives, and am still dealing with it. It's just something I'm embarrassed to talk about I guess.

I sent a text to my T. She's gonna call when she gets home. She's driving right now. Gonna try to tell her about the ED thoughts, but also having psychotic symptoms from the change in meds. Just overall having a rough day.

[Victoria'smom]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Yeah, looking healthy and being healthy are 2 different things though. How are you doing with eating today?

Do you have a GI doc treating the gastritis? Are you on medication for it, like a proton pump inhibitor? Though those come with their own series of problems. I’m on Protonix. It could be some of the reason I’m have iron anemia (you need enough stomach acid to absorb the iron). I have gastritis as well.

Eating wasn't well today (1/2 sandwich). I'm suppose to be seeing a GI dr but there are none in my area. My case worker is trying to find one and a nutritionist. I'm on 2 meds for gastritis and 325 mg of iron and 500 mg vit. C 2x a day. My labs are all messed up I'm suppose to see a hematologist. I keep thinking as long as I don't "look" it I'm okay but I never "looked" it. Is your gastritis chronic or is it temporary?