[elainerd]

i need advice, help, tips, anything.
i started not eating over the summer and lost about 25 pounds in a very short period of time. then once school started, i began to binge all the time, all junk food, and throw it up. this just got worse and worse, and now i eat soo much junk food ALL the time, things i don't even want. i throw it up whenever i feel like i can, and i don't even know why i do these things because i hate it and all i want is for everything to be normal again. it's honestly affecting every aspect of my life; i feel so tired, have horrible stomach cramps, my self esteem is practically gone, i get depressed, i never even want to leave my house. but for some reason whenever i tell myself it won't happen again, it does. i feel so helpless, and i just don't know what to do.
please help.

[Genevieve]

You know what? You just described a pretty typical experience with an eating disorder: you feel helpless, and you don't know what to do. I hope it's reassuring to know that you're not alone.

As for what to do now, the easy answer is "get help" -- the more difficult question is how to find it. If you mean college when you say school, then there should be a student health center on campus, which can help you or at least point you in the right direction. If it's high school, then head to the guidance counselor. Find someone, a teacher, a counselor, someone whom you trust, someone you can ask for help. And then do it. Ask for help.

It's easy to talk yourself out of admitting what you're doing, and avoid actually asking for help. You want an idea of how easy it is? I'm 40 and have been starving myself on and off for almost thirty years now. I started seeing a new psychiatrist a couple of months ago, and tried to tell him that I was starving myself -- but couldn't quite do it. I could only tell him that I "restricted my eating", and he had to question me for about ten minutes before he finally figured out what I was trying to report -- anorexia. And I WANTED to get help, I WANTED to ASK for help. Think of how much more difficult it might have been if I hadn't wanted help, or if I'd been embarrassed to ask?

The other thing it would be in your interest to do is to see if there are any support groups in your area. I've found a number of sites that list eating disorder support groups, and that's likely to help you a good deal. If there are none around you, try a group like AA, NA, or Overeaters Anonymous. While the outward manifestations are different, the underlying problems are quite similar. You might also do well to find a dietitian in your area who has experience with eating disorders, and a good therapist.

Here's a piece of advice that comes from my heart: Get help now, and don't put it off. As I said, I've been fighting this beast for almost thirty years now, and I wish so much that someone had been there for me to ask for help way back then. Think of all the years of pain I could have avoided. In my case, anorexia is bad enough. The repeated bouts of starvation, with the weight gain from anti-depressants between episodes, has a negative impact on one's body. Bulimia, though, can do major damage to many systems in a relatively short time.

By the way, the out of control part? I do not binge, per se, but it sure feels as if I do to me. Some days, I'll start eating, and not be able to stop. Now, in my case, I'm probably eating less than a normal meal for a normal person, but I am still feeling out of control. Eating more than I want, more than my stomach can handle at one time. It's miserable. I'm sorry that you're experiencing somehting like this so frequently, and hope that it works out well for you.

Good luck.

Like you've mentioned about things in your best interest do you attend any ED support groups in your area? Do you find them helpful? Or have you been to a dietitian or nutritionist? If so what are they like? Do you think their services would be helpful for others in this forum?

Do you find fighting this ED harder in your 40's as compared to younger people? Or is it easier because of the maturity?

It is great that you are able to talk to your pdoc now. Hopefully he can work with you on finding appropriate therapy and medication to help you since you can now admit you want help. What a milestone to make it to! Actually reaching out for help!! That's great!

Continued luck on this difficult journey to a more realistic body image and healthier eating patterns.

[itsjustme111]

I think some really good suggestions have been given here. I agree 100%.

This is an ED. Get help now, please. Like Genevieve said, she has been suffering for several years, and it sucks!!!

I have similar experience like Genevieve. I am not a binger. It seems to me though when I eat even an apple, this is a binge for me and I have an obsessed need to get rid of it. I have a post in this forum; these disorders can kill you. Well, they sure can.

I recently read an article about eating disorders. They say 1 out of 10 people die from eating disorders. I think my mouth hit the floor. I was shocked. Sure made me think. I am 29 with two beautiful children. I am extemely sick with my ED. It is never easy but not getting help will decide the outcome for you. After reading this, what it does to the people around us, it made realize that I am not just suffering, so are my kids.

Personally, I don't want to be that 1 out of 10 that die. Take these suggestions to heart. Let us know what u decide and I wish you the best. Go get some help.

Justy

hugsssssssssssss... We care about ya and hope you will work towards getting better. If you need some suggestions on how to find help.. Please let us know.

Justy,

I really don't want you to be in that statistic either.

Your doctor is trying so hard to understand and sounds like such a good person to have in your corner. He sounds honest and caring. I'm glad you are willing to talk with him again.

You do deserve to live and enjoy life with your two beautiful children. They deserve a life with a healthy mom.

Sending you support in continuing getting the assistance you need to fight this ED.

You're tenacious. So are EDs. Keep gathering strength from here along the way of this fight.

(((Justy)))

[itsjustme111]

Aww. thanks dear. I didn't mean to "take this post over".

I found it interesting about this article; shocking. If you all have time and are interested; read the health and support. Steps are being made, by me. hehe. I am fighting really hard. I have lost it at times, but its always inside.

You are all great, and I miss ya.

Elainerd; what is happening for you? How are things going? I really am wishing you to get some help. Please, please take advice from these people in here, they know what they are talking about. Good luck with this, and let us know.

Justy

elainerd,

If something is affecting every aspect of your life it is time to seek immediate assistance of some kind.

This isn't your fault nor is it something you're going to be able to get under control on your own.

EDs can and do 'sneak' out of control so quickly and can rob us of all sense of self worth and sanity at times. I speak from years of battle many years ago.

I got help. I hated having to talk about something that disgusted me so but I realized that my body was in horrendous shape from my ED and that I was on my way to permanently damaging many systems of my body. That scared the hell outta me. I was lucky to find a great therapist who was fabulous in helping me to understand that an ED is the person with the ED against the ED. NOT the person with the ED against the person with the ED.

Beating yourself up will lead to more helpless feelings. Taking control by asking for professional help......no matter how difficult a step that may be........will empower you in a way that cannot be described. You can and will gain control with the help of professionals and the support of those who have done battle with EDs or are fighting EDs currently.

Get help!

Please.

[barrett]

this sounds like what i went through this last winter. i am sorry, because i know that you won't want to do this, but this is what i did: i told one of my friends who had already been suspcious that i was in an eating disorder about it. so she practically made me eat and made sure that i wouldn't purge or use laxitives (another thing that i was doing). i couldn't have gotten through it without her, but unfortunately she alone couldn't help me. i eventually needed to go to a doctor.

i think that your first step is to tell your best friend or someone you really trust. they can definately help you through it.

[elainerd]

thank you to everyone who replied.
i wish i could say that things are better but they are not, not yet at least. i want very badly to get help but i honestly feel like my parents would be less than helpful if they found out. i have told a few close friends who have been very supportive but i don't know how to go about fixing this myself, so it seems that my only option is to tell my parents somehow. and i have no idea if this will make things better or worse.
once again, thank you <3333

[Genevieve]

Can you talk to someone at school? A counselor, a teacher? Maybe someone there can help talk to your parents? Or talk to your doctor? Go in for a check up, and ask for help?

Best luck to you, whatever you do.