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  #201  
Old Sep 07, 2021, 03:56 AM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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I made it to my 280 goal. So I was happy about that. So far I have lost 32 pounds. My next goal is 270. Hopefully, it will be easier to walk. It's a little easier now. I don't hurt as much.
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  #202  
Old Sep 07, 2021, 08:08 AM
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I was so exhausted last night, I didn't go to my chamber ensemble. I had grilled cheese and turkey sandwich for dinner with a glass of wine and popcorn. My diet was better but the evening was off due to my extreme exhaustion.

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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  #203  
Old Sep 08, 2021, 09:44 AM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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My weight is fluctuating. I guess that is normal. I've been eating prepared meals. Mainly vegan. I have a little animal protein and I try to keep my carbs low. But I didn't do well yesterday. I had 2 bowls of Cheerios. That's what I was craving. Today will be better. Maybe I needed the B12.
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‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #204  
Old Sep 08, 2021, 05:05 PM
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I'm 157.8 lbs now so I lost about 1.2 lbs, I'm hoping getting off some of the meds I'm on helps me lose more weight easily
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #205  
Old Sep 08, 2021, 07:32 PM
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Tuesday morning I was 168. I think I’m about the same now. I was eating good these last 2 days. Not a lot but pretty healthy. I had a sandwich and some soup and salmon and salad and green beans yesterday. I did get a pumpkin blizzard last night. Today I had an egg omelette and bacon and a small steak and a sweet potato without the skin and a small fry and 4 piece nugget. I haven’t been inhaling a lot of soda these last 2 days and what I’ve been drinking has mostly been diet. I did a ton of walking and based on my weight this afternoon I think I just maintained at 168.
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  #206  
Old Sep 09, 2021, 06:25 AM
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Was 157.4 lbs today
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
  #207  
Old Sep 09, 2021, 08:57 AM
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I was 167.6 today. So I lost weight. So far I’ve had a coffee from Wendy’s and some potato wedges. And I had to drink 20oz of water for my ultrasound. I plan on getting back on track with my usual foods.
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  #208  
Old Sep 09, 2021, 10:36 AM
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I bought a bunch of salads and vegetables today. Plus other healthy foods. Hoping that helps me with Lodi my more weight.

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__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
  #209  
Old Sep 09, 2021, 05:59 PM
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I'm around 1200 calories for the day. As long as I don't eat anything else the rest of the night (it's 7pm), I'm good. I have a hard time sometimes though because my meds make me hungry and crave sugar like constantly, it's so frustrating. I just have to do my best to ignore it
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #210  
Old Sep 10, 2021, 12:39 PM
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I freaked out last night and I went crazy. During the day I had a 220 calorie coffee and then a 290 calorie soda. The potato’s I had from Wendy’s had 410 calories. Then I had chips for a snack and then I tried making up for it by eating a bunch of zucchini for dinner. Then I failed and went crazy and I ate like 5 candy bars along with a bagel and chicken tenders and fries.

So today the only full calorie drink I had was a 90 calorie blue raspberry body armor. Besides that I’ve just had zero sugar and diet Mountain Dew. Unsweetened watermelon strawberry iced tea. And a lot of water.

To eat I had some udon noodles for breakfast, a bowl of Cookie Crisp for a morning snack. A little container of Jif to go and a little package of goldfish for lunch, and dinner will be 2 servings of Honey Comb cereal. I have down 1170 calories. I don’t think I’ll add anything else.

I just need to watch how many full calorie sodas and coffees I have in a day. Zero sugar and diet isn’t the best but I can handle it and so can my teeth after my dentist appointment yesterday.
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  #211  
Old Sep 10, 2021, 02:52 PM
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Today’s calories are 1,070 so far and dinner will be a salad w/ raspberry vinaigrette which will make my total 1,120 calories for the day, I haven’t checked my weight today. I should be getting my period soon and that always makes it go up a few pounds due to bloating/water retention so I disregard my weight readings for that week of the month.

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__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
  #212  
Old Sep 10, 2021, 04:58 PM
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I had a bowl of Cookie Crisp cereal and one serving of Honey Comb cereal for dinner. The Cookie Crisp has 20 calories less but it’s a smaller serving. I also had a mug of hot instant apple cider. So my calories for the day equaled to 1230. Minus whatever for the broth in my udon noodles this morning. Everything else was pretty much exact on the calories since all I ate today was individual servings of stuff or measured out like the cereals.

I took my melatonin and a Valium first. Then I’ll take my Geodon when I get tired.
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  #213  
Old Sep 11, 2021, 10:28 AM
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This morning I was 167.4. I had a few zero sugar sodas and a bottle of Body Armor between 6-9. Then around 9 or 9:30 I had a bowl of Cookie Crisp cereal. Lunch I plan on having some peanut butter and some goldfish. My afternoon snack will be another bowl of Cookie Crisp cereal. Then dinner will be a bowl of Honey Comb cereal, udon noodles, and a mug of instant apple cider. I have down 1,184 calories. I’ve noticed when I take my zofran I get hungry for a couple days. I had been taking it a lot recently. So I’m just going to throw it out. I think it just eases my stomach so I’ll be hungry.
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  #214  
Old Sep 11, 2021, 10:45 AM
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I weigh 277 today. I'm doing well. I'm trying to drink plenty of water.
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‘Live for now,’

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‘Everything is happening for my good.’
  #215  
Old Sep 11, 2021, 03:30 PM
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I forgot to buy Jif to go crunchy peanut butter when I was out of state at the good grocery store. So I had to buy an actual regular size container of it from the store this morning. So that means measuring out tablespoons of it each time I have some which is kinda a hassle. But I had some for lunch and I just now had a tablespoon of it instead of my apple cider and I just said eff it and I ate it right off the measuring spoon. So my calories equal to right around 1200 today.

I got my shot tonight. Tomorrow I may be pretty hungry. So I’m just going to allow myself an entire cauliflower crust pizza (750 calories for the whole pizza) whatever time I want it. Then hopefully be able to get by with cereal, goldfish and udon noodles. I made a family size pitcher of unsweetened caffeine free strawberry watermelon herbal iced tea today. It’s pretty good and it doesn’t even need sugar. I had a glass today but I’ll save the rest for tomorrow.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Sep 11, 2021 at 05:59 PM.
  #216  
Old Sep 12, 2021, 10:33 AM
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I was 165.4 today. So far I’ve had a bowl of cereal, a European chocolate bar called Kinder card, and a full calorie Mountain Dew. Currently I’m at 452 calories. I plan on having some peanut butter and Goldfish for lunch. I’m not sure on the rest of the day since it’s my brothers birthday. So we may do something for dinner. But with lunch added in I’m currently at 784 calories with 416 remaining.

I’m actually not insanely hungry today like I usually am on Sundays.
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  #217  
Old Sep 12, 2021, 09:49 PM
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I had a big breakfast today, then a smaller lunch and I'm just now getting ready to make dinner, which will be seafood with some veggies.

I did a ballet class this afternoon then went running this evening so I should be on target.

Tomorrow I have to start limiting my breakfast to smaller calorie items. It's crucial to make this shift this week. I can do my comfort breakfast on the weekend.

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__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
  #218  
Old Sep 13, 2021, 02:40 AM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Feeling pretty proud of myself because I actually did my ballet class yesterday and then did a run in the evening. But of course, now my body is having a hard time sleeping, because my metabolism has amped up in response. Arg.

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__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, Deilla, unaluna
  #219  
Old Sep 13, 2021, 05:27 AM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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I'm afraid to step on the scale. I'm fluctuating. But I'm sure it's just normal.
__________________
‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
Hugs from:
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  #220  
Old Sep 13, 2021, 07:04 PM
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Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
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I had salad today, so that's a plus. I'm trying to eat more vegetables. I've drank a lot of water too. I'm not sure what my weight is, I'm waiting a week or so to check it again. Last time it was 157lbs. I didn't get any exercise in today, but tomorrow I'm either going to be taking a walk on the treadmill or taking a long walk outside. I'm trying to get back on the treadmill for an hour a day most days.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
  #221  
Old Sep 14, 2021, 02:18 PM
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I think my vertigo med makes me hungry as well as the zofran. I’ve noticed a pattern with both of them. I took the vertigo med Sunday night and I was 164.4 yesterday and I was crazy hungry again yesterday. Like I was the other day when I took the med the night before. I took 2 of the vertigo meds last night and my hunger has been decent. But I weighed myself today and I was 169.4. I expected to be like 167 not 169. But anyways I threw out the vertigo meds and also the zofran. Today I had a full calorie soda and a big coffee. But I also ate some rice cakes and soup without the broth and crackers. I have a yogurt for dinner. I have down 1320 calories. I’m sure the extra weight will come off in a couple of days.

And now I feel like throwing out the zofran was a mistake. It’s in the big garbage bin in the garage that is pretty much empty. There’s no way I can get it out.
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Last edited by Mountaindewed; Sep 14, 2021 at 05:21 PM.
  #222  
Old Sep 14, 2021, 02:21 PM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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I weigh about the same. I've been snacking at night, which is not good. I have to quit that.
__________________
‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
  #223  
Old Sep 15, 2021, 03:02 PM
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I read last night on Reddit that A lot of trans men are like 230-350 pounds. And here I am freaking out when the scale reads 170. Today I had around 1200 calories. I had a bowl of cereal and a grilled cheese sandwich and a Pepsi and some homemade soup. I had no idea on the calories on sandwich or the soup. I took a walk but it wasn’t much of one. But I actually did something besides just sit in bed. I was 169 today. Still not a big deal. But not where I want to be. I assume tomorrow I’ll be like 168. I’m maintaining right now and I am fluctuating between 164 and 169. but I’m dealing with a lot of stress right now and it’s better then gaining.

I did more of intuitive eating today then actual calorie counting.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Sep 15, 2021 at 04:19 PM.
  #224  
Old Sep 16, 2021, 09:00 AM
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My intuitive eating went well last night. I weighed 166.6 today. So far I had a bowl of honey comb cereal, a bottle of fruit bunch body armor, and a serving of Goldfish crackers. I’m gonna try to lay off the tea today since it has been causing anxiety. I don’t know what else I’ll be eating.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka
  #225  
Old Sep 16, 2021, 10:14 AM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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My weight is fluctuating. I'm not sure what I think about it. I think I need to drink more water.
__________________
‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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