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I have a friend who genuinely cared for someone online,and trusted them even though they knew better,and they were referred to as an on-line fling.They thought this was at least a 'friend'.Why do people pretend to care for others and end up devaluing them? Or why do people who are good end up mistreated by others? Why can't humans find genuine value in other humans? For anyone who's ever been hurt...do we not learn to treat others as delicate spirits? I just wonder why any person should care for or open to or trust...anyone.Of course they say humans are the only beast who remains on friendly terms with their prey until the moment they intend to eat you right? I understand wolves so much more clearly.There is one thing which saves a delicate heart,and wise people are engrained with it.....it's distrust.~WO.olf

I know. I miss my doggy sooo much......it seems so cynical no...it is sooo cynical to not trust---but I think I have been hesitant for sooo many years that I have successsfully avoided the pain of trusting and being disillusioned--rather--"eaten" by another predatorial human.

Most recent was my close call with a woman in CA. who promised to "help" me find housing................

She wanted to control, eat, and vomit me up--What a close call!!!!!!!

I listen to my inner child here---she didn't like this woman from the start-------

too many praises---this woman actually followed me on here--I knew it was her..

Scarey--------what do they want? Why?

I'm with you (((((Wolfsong)))))--when I can afford another hound--I'll be off to the shelter and have eye-contact with another dog--meant for me alone........with you-theo

Thank you Theo....I hope it is soon that you find a precious canine gift.Always ,always listen to that inner voice.Uggh I shouldn't say that on P.C but,I say we should be mindful of the feelings we get on issues at the very least.

It is so hard to trust.But in the absence of me trusting...I will try to be trust worthy...it is all I can control.OOOh I just learned to use color...I have a new fetish...I hope the color shows on this post lol

It wooorrrrkkksss....I am in a psychedelic hippie world naowwww
W O.o lf

[lynn P.]

(((wolfsong))) - I agree with what you said and realize it hurts to be betrayed and let down. I suffered a great betrayal and wonder if I can ever trust again. You know when you see a dog that's been abused - they cower when someone comes close.....that's how I feel inside sometimes. I don't know why some people are mean. I was taught from a young age to, treat people the way I want to be treated and I wish every person would do this. You're not alone in feeling this way.

[missbelle]

We have to go on......we have to believe that inside every person exists some good. I could not live without love, friendship........I am putting myself out there knowing there are no guarantees........but without people, I am empty and alone....I choose to trust with caution until someone shows me otherwise. Then I move on, lick my open wounds and try again because I don't want to exist alone.

[kitty004567]

I try to trust people until they prove to be untrustworthy. I have too much trouble going through life not trusting, it's too much effort for me. It does mean that I get hurt though.

Well...missbelle....My friend is alot like me...and I am just as you say.I see both sides...I have never met someone I didn't like,but couldn't love in some manner.That's sort of my issue.I am wide open to loving.I keep getting hurt,so does my friend.While we have no choice but to go forward... at the same time...a part moves forward...bits remain on the injury.There's nothing I can do about that.For me it is my nature.I am a lover of all people.I can get downright pissed...and never speak to someone ever again (to keep from getting hurt.)But at the same time,I can't help but love them.I feel it a wise policy...first time...shame on you...second time ...shame on me.In essence....you learn much from the past.But...due to my instability of personna...ie,borderline,and multiple personality disorders....There is no constance in my ability to feel detached...deciding to erase a person from a place in me where they can hurt me...then stick with it.So in the end...well...I guess I am a very disorganized soul.Just so shattered and slivered and never constant.I guess we both have to take in life one breath at a time.We may be unable today to be whole...mayhaps tomorrow...not so.And the earth spins on.........WO.olf

Lynn...I am that cowering dog too.It is what it is.We cannot judge ourselves for this...but,I suppose we must pursue healing to some degree.I was taught the way you were taught Lynn....and though we hurt so deep...we just keep giving.You are a lovely woman Miss Lynn.

[lonegael]

For a long time I had a difficulty in maintaining that distance. I could do it for stretches, but the bipolar and tha anxiety that came with it made it hard to keep up. I had a lot of people hurt me, and from early on, more psychologically than physically though that figures in also. In the end I saw insult where it wasn't meant and planned betrayal where in the end, it was just common human weakness.

change came when i realizd i wasn't much different, and when i made the decission that I could forgive, but that didn't mean I had to repeat my mistakes. I could take the cat back into the house but didn't have to put the cream back in front of it over and over again. Some people just can't deal with somethings like secrets or trauma. It took time, but I started to find out who I could trouble with such things, and who i couldn't

Some folks get really nasty after they confide in you, because they get scared. They realize that they have just handed over a deep, frightening secret, and now they are afraid you can use it against them. They try to make you less dangerous by belittling you or by distancing themselves from you. Understanding this helps sometimes, because then it is easy to see that it isn't you that the problem is based in, it's them and their fear, their terror that someone will hurt them. Like a hurt dog that you find on the road the reflexively bites everything that comes near him, all the while he cries and looks at you like he wants help.

Maybe you could tell your friend to back off a bit and let this person cool down. She is a bit off for some reason, and even if he is hurt, he has to realize that it's deal to thrash out. IF she can't accept his offers for help or whatever apologies he feels are appropriate to give (and that is those that are appropriate according to his view right now) than she has some wok to do and that really has nothing to do with him, however much she might wish it does.

HUGGGGSSSSS dear and good luck to you and your friend.

I reflected on this...I guess sometimes we find injury where none ever was intended.Like we just stick our foot in our mouths and out comes the wrong thing.I dunno.I hate my mind....alot.I guess sometimes people say things and don't realize how it can be interpreted.Ugh...Someone put my head out of its misery.Ranting,ranting....as usual.

[LostSavant]

Originally Posted by wolfsong

I reflected on this...I guess sometimes we find injury where none ever was intended.Like we just stick our foot in our mouths and out comes the wrong thing.I dunno.I hate my mind....alot.I guess sometimes people say things and don't realize how it can be interpreted.Ugh...Someone put my head out of its misery.Ranting,ranting....as usual.

I love your mind, no matter where it travels. You are a good soul and a loving mother and friend. God will always hold you in his arms and love you with all his heart. And I too will love you my dear friend. Hope you are well.

Thank you Lost,I love you too!~W~

[lonegael]

Nothing wrong with your mind, dear, it's just trying to keep you safe, but it just has to learn better ways of doing so. things that used to work don't alwys work now, or things that sometimes work don't always work. That's just how it is. Can't through everything out, you know, there are these wonderful things in there too In this case, I wouldn't worry about hem taking offese where it's not meant, it seems that they are giving it, so let them straighten it out. Rmember, we can all be a little squirrely, but remind him to stand up for himself if things have gone too far. HUGGGS