Checking in ( How do you feel today)?

Feelin pretty good today. Got lots of compliments from my manager and co-workers for my second day on the job, so that made me feel great. Just got out of my doc's appointment. Got my prozac and klonopin, and had my first pap. *worry face* I've been dreading it for so long, but it wasn't too bad. Hopefully the rest of today will be good, as well! Going to 7-11 later for a slurpie.

I feel happy for Lost Angel. I like to hear when other people have happy work news.

Relieved and extremely thankful. I have been struggling quite a bit and friends on PC gave me the opportunity to truly open up and express my feelings, thoughts, triggers and fears. It helped a lot.
Thank you xx
Rose

it has been a long day and for me it still is not over...
first at work I first got upset that the supervisor said that her boss said this would be a great specific project for ME- and that I could get help but this was MY project... it was a very tedious project, it makes me mad that she lied-- instead of saying truthfully, "Beauflow you're one of the few that will sit down and do this," she tells me a lie that the Boss's Boss says it is my project and he thinks it is a good fit for me (he does not know me well- so i doubt it)... But I got over my madness, said- well IF (big if) that is true- they see me as management material then- to give me a project and to ask the others to help me and I double check it lol my co-worker keeps hinting at times that i should be at least lead and some days even supervisor-- I think (Or HOPE) he is joking.. I tell him straight out all the time, i would not be good at it-- IDK Why he think I would be; I know some good points of me but i think he has seen plenty of my mood swings... I think he is joking though I tell him I get too mad at people, that is why I would not be good at it.. Plus me and the stress would not go hand and hand-I think he is being nice and that is nice for him to be nice.. I enjoyed joking around with my co-workers tonight and talking as we worked.

Today is also an anniversary of mine-- I am always bashful to say what it is due to I am not sure if other couples have such a day, or even a person has a day-- but i do- it is very important to me on 2 different levels.

I have been trying best not to get in my brother's sympathy act, he has constantly called, the other night first night he left a message saying he was just board and up so call.. then this morning he texed-- "CALL"... i got mad at this too- (IN my head) DO NOT Demand me to call you-- especially with our recent convos via text-- Get help you need, I can't be your therapist!

last weekend was a little overwhelming -- I keep getting reminded this last weekend is 3 yrs of my friend's death.. I miss him so.. little reminders but I amnot as bad as I was last yr with this with taking blame of it....... but it was also my nieces and nephews bdays last weekend, which I wished them both well-- and my one sister actually wrote me back with what her kids were doing -- and the 10th was my kitty's birthday--

had a lot going on this week... been a little overwhelmed but it is ok.. Today will be a good day... I should sleep well after we get back home from some errands and eating

Incredibly depressed. Seriously take a walk into the ocean with rocks depressed. I just don't really see the allure anymore. There's no feeling anymore of something bright and beautiful waiting just over the horizon.

(((sad peoples))) I'm actually ok today after the family's huge fight yesterday. I have the house to myself... Well and my baby brother. But it's nice.

Fine, never been felt this good.

let down a little, a little confused, but it is ok... some things to chew on.
little upset that my S/O Seems upset with me with not indulging my brother's bad behavior and abuse.... I don't get it-- the other day he was like "tired of hearing the same old story with me and my bro" now he is like you should stop ignoring him-

No one really cares about the stuff I go threw do they?? My S/O says that is not so (i know he is correct, some do care), but he too worries about my bro... I guess when I feel a little better I will call him, but once the attacking me and tearing me down and total negative starts- i am hanging up.

Having really bad cravings... But not for pot... I've been craving blood, again. I feel kind of freak-ish posting this... But every body here has been so supportive and accepting... I feel like I don't have to hide it here.

Mixed! New teaching on positivity fighting with old thinking patterns. Not sure who's winning.

Anxious. And happy. Happy it is Friday. Anxious because I have T2...second meeting.

((Rose)) hope T2 goes well

I am here... I just wrote my mother back, very short email.. very short, no need to reply back email that was just nice-- Hope she too is doing well.
See- I felt bad for ignoring the damn email, I have my reasons but I said to myself- ignoring a person is one of the worst things I could do. So I acknowledged it but I don't want her back in my life.

My S/O talked to me more on my brother situation- he just thinks as I just said with ignoring a person- SO I agreed- FINE, I will call him on the weekend I guess. My S/O Understands where I come from , but to just drop off the face of the earth and ignore him he does not think is the right thing to do-- IDK i think me with saying get into therapy after he half assed and Me to not indulging in his bad behaviors is a good thing to do FOR HIM to realize I don't want to put up with the crap any more.

guess I am a little ranty today- sorry

haha...I have a bad earache...going to hospital in 1/2 hr. 3 days this has been going on....today hurts to close jaw. Friday 13th right? Otherwise not bad for 3 hrs sleep. Hope emerg. is quiet. They always have pretty lousy magazine selection. Perhaps i'll bring a couple.

Angry, anxious, worried, sad, upset stomach from medication, no appetite, fatigued...yup, I've got it all today...

I feel that way, too. Not alone. But I don't think mine's cuz of the Rx

I hope you feel better very soon

(i'm trying everything to NOT take my Rx...trying to manage without...

"tricky. very tricky" (Bridget Jones) )

Hugs,
Rose

feeling much better after a good old friend mentioned something... also obligation is done with car.. now sleep time hopefully

Have felt rather good today after a up and down week

Had kind of a crappy morning, but then I got called into work! working my first seven hour shift, I'm here till 11pm (my first break now). I am lovin this job, all the manager that I've worked with so far have bought me drinks and been nothing but sweet, even when their stressed. I think I'm gonna be working here for a long time!

Tired, I didn't sleep the whole day so might sleep now...

Better today out of hospital ppl worried helping a ot today.still not on balanced swings back n forth. but i am happy i am out.

Trying to find my way back to who I used to be when things were working better. Not sure if I can feel like I belong anywhere and I think that is one of the missing pieces.

Right now, I'm great! Just got off from an awesome 3 hour shift at work, and may get called back in at 4! I love my job! I'm at home now, though... So the good mood might not last long. But the glass is half full, right? I mean, my paycheck will be alot bigger than I thought it would be! Haha.

Today I'm ok but kind of meh. I dont' know what else I'm suppposed to say about it. Oh and I'm new here.

feel like screaming as loud and as long as i can but my head already hurts. i feel split, i feel torn apart, i feel stretched out from all sides right now. i feel played, angry, frustrated, and i feel horrible for being angry and for doubts on how i should feel. but i can't help it. i could just shout out curse words but i wont. my s/o is sleeping. it's early in morn here. i really need to say leave this. i feel like escaping. i can't deal with this

((((Beau))))

Anxious.