Daily Comments #5- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

I am afraid of how my life is going to turn out. Will I always be stuck in the house watching other people's lives go on while I am stuck in some sort of delusion or just scared out of my mind? I hope things get better but I am not holding my breath.

Warning! This a rant designed to get - it - off my chest! Nothing is meant to harm or insult anyone other than the person who irked me. My words are directed at them, not you.

Thanks, I'm feeling better now.

If things could get better....what would they be?

I found out last night the oldest sister and her youngest daughter from Australia is coming for a whopping 3 month visit here. She'll be staying here on the 18th for 2 days and the rest at my H's other brother and his lucky(sarcastic) wife's house. This wife has only been in the family for 4 yrs so the poor woman can handle it lol. This SIL(husbands sister) is a cross between narcissistic and Histrionic personality. She faints whenever she's overwhelmed.

She was at war with my H when his mother died and he was forbidden to go to the funeral. This sister had her youngest daughter send the most vicious email to my H. Her daughter tried to befriend my daughter on facebook but she doesn't want to be friends with her. These are people who will turn on you and then act normal when someone dies ...expecting them to forget everything they've done. She also hates dogs so Bella will be stressed out. She's also coming at this holiday time and they don't celebrate Xmas. Husband knows exactly how I feel and even joked at how he feels sorry for his brothers wife, who'll have to be hostess for 3 months.

I find it so hard to tolerate this person who I detest. Its bad enough I have to live with my husband and tolerate him. I hate being phony but I have no choice. I know she must sense my dislike but I don't think she cares at all- typical of this kind of personality. How strange that several of them are narcissists - how does that happen?? If I find it hard to be phony, how do I cope? Do I become like a psychopath who pretends to like her? After 35 yrs of this family, I'm so sick of them and their games. God help me.

On a lighter note......my H is trying to prepare for Xmas and gave me these red and green vests for the girls to wrap but my girls don't like vests...plus they looks like mens vests. He said fine he'll return them and last night he gave me 2 more red and green ones to put with the other return ones and these were supposed to be mine lol. So if we kept them, me and the girls would have matching red and green vests ....looking like Santa's elves. Ah yes.....just what every 14 yr old girls wants. He said try it on and see. Its a size XL and I weigh 115 lbs lol. I could fit a large pillow under it. I ask my daughter, "was I correct is assuming you wouldn't go for this?" She smiled and said "thanks mom."All we needed was a red or green one for Bella to top off the oddest looking family pic.

i think I'm setting up my personal record of most panic attacks in one days

Why did I think it was St Crispins Day?? Dec 5th was stickin' in my brain...so immediately for some odd reason [SCD has no personal relevance other than it's a good rave] I went to Youtube pulled up Kenneth Branaughs Henry V and turned the speakers on near max.

Wasn't til I shivered the timbres/timbers that I pulled up Crispins on wiki. Oops...Oct25th. Well better late than never...aw hell that rave is good for any day!

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Ahh but would it be..this klaxon from the heartest brave
could alight and lend to slumbrous ear...
[from within times master and servant...this, my humbled clock at bedside...]

inspiration and succor...relief from mere buzz or bell
and finding deepest in mine own heart...an wakening of spirit no less...

To temper and rouse these wearied bones
thus beckoning...a call to arms,
...to shed sheet and sloth,

...to engage the day.

[on maximum volume of course...*grin*]

Sorry Willie...y'inspired me buddy...!

This time I brought oatmeal for breakfast and made sure it was actually oatmeal and not grits. I am tired, I hate feeling that way when I'm driving to work. Or making the 130 mile round trip from Cherokee to Woodfin and back again. The only station that comes through on the radio is a country music station. While I don't mind it, I wish the radio worked better. I wish I would remember to bring my CDs. My foot hurts like heck today. The arch is so fallen that I stand weird on that foot. The janitor cleaned the building with this orangey stuff and it smells so strong that it's giving me asthma. Blegh.

I am just NOT having a good day...*notz has leaky eyes and is annoyed

When I want my kitchen tidied, it helps to blow off a little steam. My sons move faster when I am irritable.

I don't want to do any chores right now! D:<

The external flash I ordered online arrived; it's horrible. I have found that using it causes my photos to come out darker. Yes, a flash of light that makes everything darker, a paradox no doubt. It seemed like such a reputable manufacturer, and I looked at it in store and thought that it looked to be sufficient for my needs. (I bought it online because of a cheaper price.) Although now of course I can't return it and wasted what little money I have on it to have received nothing out of it. How depressing. And I thought I could research things online well…

I do not like PT. It hurts.

It's good for me......it's good for me......it's good for me.............

I bought a Nikon SB600 for a little over $200 a couple of years ago for my D90.
That was the best $200 I ever spent to make me a better photographer. Nikon makes another one with more power, but it is like 3X the price. Maybe one day

Well I'm home sick. Being sick and psychotic sucks, just saying. WHY DOES STREP THROAT EXIST? Or hallucinations for that matter? Anyways, hi everyone, I'm just milling around on here so don't mind me. (And I'm not really in a bad mood, I just don't like having a sore throat! As if I don't take enough meds already. X_X)

Food poisoning is a toxic experience.

I wonder if my world is about to fly apart...

Insomnia strikes . . . again. I have an MD appointment later today and am going to be tested for celiac disease.

I was asked to write a letter of encouragement for my goddaughter (who has a twin sister) to take on a religious retreat and did so. Their mom was so impressed that I was asked to write a letter for the twin. So, I did. Their mom then writes me and says, "honey, you should be a priest!" I know that I am looking for a new career but, really, me - a priest??!!

I think we should be able to write in our own 'mood.' Most of the time, the choices are not applicable. Like for example, where the heck is heinous, pettish, or possibly penurious, hmmm? Has anyone considered that I may be feeling quite penurious and have no outlet in which to express my feelings? Should I wake tomorrow feeling recalcitrant, but later in the afternoon I am shockingly submissive (We're just paying "What if" here, no need to get the giggles!) where am I to share these emotions? This really is a problem that needs the staffs immediate attention!

My god! There's no gemutlich option!

What kind of a place are you people running, here?

-Fleeing Bellocq, Mutinous Myth of the Mission District

At work we were doing a list of items that another store location wanted us to prepare for them last night. one of the lists is to package some brands of pre-made salads into small containers for them. They wanted 1 potato salad, 1 mustard salad, 1 beet salad, and 1 coleslaw. My coworker wrote it down for me like this on the paper...

... Pot Must Beet Slaw (lmao)

I thought "what the heck does she smoke?"

I need to take my Adderall, get a dictionary and go back to re-read Fleeing's post!

Moody. That is all. Moody works for me ... except when I am unmoody or mood apathetic.

The birds are very hungry, hard to keep up with all of them. Mom is walking with the cane today instead of the walker. Have to keep an eye on her.

Hairstylists charge an extortionate amount for such simple cuts here! All I want is to have all, or at least most, of my hair shaved off, and I'm being charged like $20+ for that - ridiculous. It takes like 10 minutes! $2 a minute?!

Yes, I am kind of cheap, but I have to be when I live off the meager income that is disability assistance.

Dun ...Dun...Duuun