Checking in (How do you feel today)? #3

I am a mess today.
I have worked myself to death and had very little sleep till last night and the emotions of being "up" and using my hypo to my advantage now fall prey to the pendulum swing the other way. I am in tears lamenting my poor decisions (and the fact that if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice!) and the pain caused by them.
I want to get off the pain mouse-wheel and have a life filled with love and laughter.
I have found someone I may be interested in but even if she were to be interested in me........I am scared to bring my psycho-circus into her life. I can't take being alone, but worse I can't take knowing I could endanger someone elses feelings and fukc up her life the same way I fukced up mine and my family's.
I need that STAPLES easy button...too bad life doesn't come with one.

Going to file an extension on my personal Taxes.... not been able to focus on these at all But corporate done TY to my accountant

Feeling really low right now

Im feeling OK everyday
I love my life

try to change it from tired to happy

I feel like a paranoid & disoriented mess today.

i'm anxious about practicing my guitar. i want to practice my chords so my teacher will teach me a song next lesson but i don't want to drag my amp and everything into my room >.< i have a strange aversion to practicing and i don't know why it causes me so much anxiety... today was going great until i remembered about it >.<

So over it all. Sick of looking at wedding stuff. What's the point when I have no one? I have no friends, or at least the 3-4 I have I wouldn't invite to my wedding, and there's absolutely no chance of my 4 family members coming because they live 2 states away and can't afford to get down here. What's the point of having a wedding when you have no one to share it with? Defeats the entire purpose of having a wedding.

Drained, empty, sad, tired. I want to see him because he's the only thing that really cheers me up.

Concerned for my son. He flies out Thursday morning and he seems to be coming down with a throat problem. Not a good time.

Grumpy! Neighbours in the building hammering against the wall that backs onto my son's bedroom and it is 8:44 at night. GRRRRRR

I am feeling pretty good

I'm a bit tired...

Accomplished. Actually did something productive today!

-There is no such thing as normal.

I have my first psychiatric appt in 2 1/2 hours. Feeling a bit uneasy.

Scared Scared Scared.................. I want to run away.

still depressed despite uppingantidepressant. Want to be fun for my husband he has had enough of this

I'm groggy, but beginning to gain some focus

Up too early...Boston on the mind.

Hoping for a solution. The psychiatric appt is giving me hope. Crossing fingers.

Pretty good and level.
On my 3rd week of no AD's.
I am hoping I can get off them for good.

Feeling solid right now. Gonna try today to bask in it rather than analyze and undermine it

Feeling really down today, Hopefully this is just a blip.

Not enough sleep last night. Really dragging today.

I feel okay tonight, after another good walk