[AlteredState01]

- flushing a teeny fish down the toilet - AFTER it's already dead.
- plucking weeds (except dandylions, then it's geurilla gardening warfare!); oh, and thinning seedlings.
- when a plant dies
- when my cat's pissed at me (and she always is)
- squishing bugs (like I have the right to kill them or something?!) Now that's just weird, but I still do it anyway!
- seeing my boyfriend naked when he's not aware of it.

I've got weirder ones, just can't think of them at the moment.

Just wondering...

Anyone else have weird (and funny or frivolous) things they feel guilty about?

AS


Oh, and I am suppose to say,: "Oh, what an interesting thought/feeling," everytime I think/feel of something new" for DBT homework, sooo..."Oh, what an interesting thought!"


Yes, I do...feel like an idiot. But hey, if it's supposed to work, what the hell, right?

[domino]

I felt really really guilty for having my cat put down a month ago. He was getting on in age and he became incontinent, his back legs were paralysed and he couldn't even get up the stairs or get into his litter basket. Finally after thinking about it for several months I decided that it was best if he was put out of his misery. He even used to lie in the middle of the street and fortunately the neighbours loved my cat and were always careful not to squash him when he was not able to get up immediately upon them arriving in the street. Unfortunately we did have visitors who did not know that my cat would be lazing around in the middle of the street and I was scared stiff that he would get squashed by someone, so all this made me decide to have him put down. I cried for about a month once I had gone through with it. He was such good company as I am often alone during the day. I miss him sooooooooooo much!!!

[(JD)]

Guilt is not funny in the least imo. Guilt means you DID something WRONG. It means that you didn't take the situation into account nor try to make a good decision, or just preferred to do something wrong. I don't see that result necessary for anything listed.

Perhaps your feelings are really guilt, but remorse and sadness over things that die, and life in general?

Domino, the only thing I have found to fill that hole left in your heart by the loss of a pet, is another pet

[domino]

Sky I would love another pet but hubby is completely against the idea. He doesn't want any more pets in the house. We had gold fish and guinea pigs and the cat, which was unfortunately the last to go. I volunteered to keep my friends pets though when they go on holiday. So we shall see if they turn up with their cats or dogs or whatever other pets.

[AlteredState01]

Dear sky,

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"Social Chat (1 viewing)
Share in a fun, healthy distraction about your pets, plants, hobbies, music and anything else that may be be uplifting or fun to you ." (italics mine)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Taken directly from the forum's description.

And:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"Although they usually have a self-image that is based on being bad or evil,..."

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Taken directly from the Disorders Category of this site, under Borderline Personality Disorders.

So, GET OFF MY BACK! I believe I have a right to be able to express myself as I feel I need to.

If I want to bring a little levity into my life, and possibly others, what right do you have to JUDGE ME. I don't know if you suffer from any mental illness or if you just like to hang around and chastise people for how they express themselves, but I have alot of irrational guilt, and I am pretty sure that there are other people here that have the same sort of issues with guilt. And how can you presume that no one has a sense of humour like mine (or at all for that matter), and can relate to what I am trying to say and do, both for myself and others.

I don't know if you are aware of this very popular fact, but comedy is most often based on the tragic, painful and uncomfortable realities of life.

I really don't care what you think is "necessary." And who made you judge of "necessariness" anyway? I thought you were a greeter, not the necessary police!

You do not know what is necessary for me or for anyone else, for that matter, so stop assuming you do!

And by the way, how to totally disregard someone's feelings? Tell them that they should just "replace" a precious pet with another right after losing one. Very sensitive on your part there, sky... That's like saying to a woman who has lost her unborn child to just get pregnant again.

Do NOT judge me on everyone's behalf for insensitivity! You do not have that "authority" over me.

Altered State

[AlteredState01]

I'm so sorry for your loss, domino. I know how hard it is to lose a pet.


Altered State

[LMo]

AlteredState, if I may... I read and re-read _Sky's response to you and maybe I'm wrong, but I truly don't think she meant what she said in a judgemental way.

Could you give her a chance to re-phrase what she meant?

But in the meantime...

I feel THE SAME WAY about thinning seedlings and flushing dead fish and squishing bugs and when a plant dies! Ha - I'm glad you brought this up - it's actually been a 'secret guilt feeling' of mine for years! Let me see -- other weird/frivolous guilty actions...
- cutting my hair, for some strange reason
- eating things that are fried, even if I feel NO guilt for eating the same amount of calories comprised of sugar and empty calories
- letting water run in the shower or sink while I'm waiting for it to get hot

I can't believe I'm admitting this stuff! Ha!

(and Domino - I'm very, very sorry about your cat. I had to put my cat of 17 years down a few years ago and I know how heartbreaking and, yes, guilt-inducing it is. I'd like to say that if we feel guilt about doing so, then it means that we probably were doing the right thing for them, as weird as that logic sounds )

[AlteredState01]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Guilt is not funny in the least imo. Guilt means you DID something WRONG. It means that you didn't take the situation into account nor try to make a good decision, or just preferred to do something wrong.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Wow, then you have a better perspective than I do, because I read and re-read, and I still came up with the same sense of animosity.

If she wishes to "re-phrase," the more power to her, however, with such an accusatory statement - and I quote, again: "Guilt means you DID something WRONG. It means that you didn't take the situation into account nor try to make a good decision, or just preferred to do something wrong."

I guarantee you that SHE also feels guilty about irrelevant and stupid things (we all that these little quirks - even normal people), whether she is inclined to admit it or not. My point? If she does not idenity, then don't respond with judgements when one cannot possibly understand. Unless, of course, she has some sort of empirical evidence to suggest what I am saying is not likely, nor true.

And her statement: "I don't see that result necessary for anything listed." (italics mine) assumes that she is the one that has authority to say on behalf of all, whether a post and its contents is "necessary" or not.

Besides, this was meant to add a little levity to my life, even if it was only useful to me . And I do believe that I was in the right forum for this...

(I am now understanding exactly why no one seems to like to put in their bios, their specific illness(es), because one is judged and pigeon-holed once it is known - just like the "physical" world does).

Altered State

[SeptemberMorn]

The rest of us know Sky a whole lot better than you do, AlteredState. The rest of us know there was NO ANIMOSITY in her post. Perhaps it's your own animosity that you are projecting.

Sky simply stated her knowledgable opinion hoping to help you change your prespective and help you rid yourself of unnecessary guilt. Guilt is NOT FUNNY.

i agree with altered state on this

[biplol]

Ohhh AS, If I have to give you my lists, I'd waiting outside for the people on white uniforms!!!LOL
Anyway, if I think of any right now, I'll let you know.

[AlteredState01]

You knowing sky better does not change things for me, nor does the fact that your knowing her better, gives me any more insight and/or knowledge whatsoever, that there was no intent of animosity.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Guilt means you DID something WRONG. It means that you didn't take the situation into account nor try to make a good decision, or just preferred to do something wrong.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I will re-iterate once again, there are time when ALL OF US feel guilty for rather "silly" things, like I expressed in my first post and like the "silly" things that another poster replied to.

To accuse me of doing something WRONG or preferring to do something WRONG (like pulling a weed, in this case) is, "I.M.O." ludicrous.

Finding humour within the pain I struggle with is cathartic to me. I like to laugh; It is an escape for me and I learn alot by seeing how "silly" I can be in my thinking patterns through comedic interpretations.

Apparently, it seems like the same people (over and over)do not share my sense of humour here, but that's ok. I'm still going to laugh at myself for some of the "silly" things I feel guilty about.

Both you and sky can continue to "feel" that guilt is NOT FUNNY from any perspective.

I'm curious, is all your guilt justified? DID you always do something WRONG for all the guilty feelings you felt throughout your entire life? Have you never transferred onto yourself, others' guilt? You mean to tell me that every guilty feeling you have or have had is based on rational thought? If so, then please , accept my sincerest apologies.

And may I suggest that in the future, to just stay away from my postings, because they WILL have humour at times and I would hate to feel "guilty" for expressing myself in a manner that you cannot possibly understand.

By the way, good catch - emnity was indeed included in my response to reflect MY anger.

One more thing, how can sky have a truly "knowlegable opinion" when she cannot relate? Not everything out of a text book applies to all situations, nor is it all-inclusive as respects all situations. Therapists even know this one (and are also aware that they can only speculate about what we feel, by virtue of their training, unless of course, they suffer the same illness(es) we do)...

Just because one can endeavor to "walk a mile in one's shoes" does not mean they will truly understand. They may be able to empathize more easily, but to truly understand? I don't think so... I.M.O!!!

Altered State

[(JD)]

I'm sorry my support was at the end of the statement, and thus perhaps overlooked?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Guilt is not funny in the least imo. Guilt means you DID something WRONG. It means that you didn't take the situation into account nor try to make a good decision, or just preferred to do something wrong.[b] I don't see that result necessary for anything listed.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[Fuzzybear]

I appreciate every poster on this thread..... and I appreciate the fact that the thread is still here.

I hope I do not get into trouble for this statement.

If we all thought and felt the same, how freakin boring life would be...... I've had that opinion for a long time, and the more experiences I have, the more I believe it to be true



peace

[SeptemberMorn]

IMO! "Methinks you make much ado about nothing." -- Shakespeare

Today, I squished a caterpillar that had eaten a leaf off one of my rosebushes and had curled up in another to become whatever he THOUGHT he was gonna become. I also squished "an itsy bitsy spider" that was crawling up my water hose. I also sprayed quite a few weeds that were littering my garden. I have NO GUILT whatsoever!

[Fuzzybear]

I've never squished a caterpillar, I think they are too sweet

I seldom kill spiders either, I catch them in a glass and put them outside, fortunately we don't have the mega giant spiders here

As for woodlice or black bugs on the ground... crunch... and I have been known to feel guilty

[SeptemberMorn]

I don't think caterpillars or bugs are "sweet" when they strip my rosebushes of all their leaves. And I've had a thing for "itsy bitsy spiders" since one bit my baby on the cheek! Ok... so that was 28 yrs ago. LOL

THIS POST CONTAINS POSSIBLE TRIGGER MATERIAL FOR SOME PEOPLE

POST CONTENT - MY guilt over my child and another child experimenting with show me yours and I'll show you mine.

IF YOU EXPERIENCED THIS TYPE OF SITUATION DIFFERENTLY THAT IS OK.

THIS IS MY EXPERIECES WITH SITUATIONS THAT I< AND A FRIEND OF MINE CAN LAUGH ABOUT NOW BECASE WE CAN SEE THE HUMORIOUS SIDE IN THE SITUATION BESIDES THE DOWN SIDE OF IT

AGAIN THIS POST CAN AND MAY TRIGGER IF YOU ARE CHOOSING TO CONTINUE READING BEYOND THIS WARNING YOU ARE ACCEPTING RESPOSIBILITY OF YOUR OWN WELL BEING BASED ON YOUR OWN TRIGGER RESPONSES. NO ONE IS FORCING ANYONE TO READ THIS POST





Yes I do at times find the things that I am feeling guilty about to be strange and or rather funny sometimes. For example I keep bouncing in and out of feeling guilty for my bodys reactions while I was being abused. its a very strange thing knowing that bodys react to a certain way during sex regardless of abuse or in 1005 consensual love making. and its rather funny at times because I will start slipping into that guilty feelings for how my body reacted but yet what do I say to any survivors that tell me they are feeling guilty for this reaction - its ok bodys are made to react wirh that specific reaction to being stimulated that way... LOL so easy to remember when its someone else.

for me guilt is a feeling that is comical at times like when doing something and it turns out wrong I cant help but laugh at myself and say well I shouldnt have done that. or I spend all night thinking about something and then when accomplishing that the end result turns out to be far from what I am imagining for example Kids naturally play games of you show me your and I'll show you mine. I was taking care of two friends children with my child too. one friend was here and help[ed me get them all bedded down before she went out. Will while my friend and I were playing cards in the dining room two of the boys desided to play show me yours and Ill show you mine. we heard and knew nothing about this until one child let out the most horredious scream. we both went running to the children and found that my child took the other child quite literally when the other child remarked how his anatamy looked like a lollypop on a stick and was just as tasty.

I panicked my friend ended up making sure bitten child was ok and my child calmed down so she could explain to him that body parts are not lolly pops no matter what anyone tells him he was to say no and go tell.

I stayed awake all night panicing about oh man how am I going to tell my best friend my child bit her child and where. The next morning friend calls and crying I told her what happened. I fully expected her to go off and I felt so guilty about what had happened. my friend burst out laughing and told me "They are both at the age of experimenting with their own bodys and its normal for children their age to pull some show me yours and I'll show you mine behaviors. all that matters is both children are fine and we don't ever react." I told her too late our other friend had to take over the situation because I grabbed my child and started yelling where did you.. who did that to you... you had to have learned that somewhere... bla bla bla. Every one and a while, going down memory lane with my friend we will both remember the day I had to tell her what happened and we both see the humor in the situation of my staying up all night because I was sure that was the end of our friendship and so on out of guilty of what our two children did ....not what I did.

hang in there you are definately not alone in this.

[AlteredState01]

So true, Fuzz!

[AlteredState01]

And that means?

[AlteredState01]

Gosh, so sorry to hear 'bout such terrible happenings. Glad to hear you have no guilt about it, so nothing to worry about, and really, nothing to respond to as respects this post.

READ THE EFFIN SUBJECT LINE!!!!

You really don't think I can't read your animosity and sarcasm, either? And I do believe sky can defend herself, don't you?

And please, quote Shakespeare properly...

[LMo]

I'm sad that this couldn't have been worked out peacefully. It was a good topic for a thread, and I'd love to continue the original discussion, perhaps in another thread.

From now on, please take complaints about other members' posting style or content to PM. If you cannot work it out via PM, then please notify a moderator or admin. Thanks.