If you could have coffee with anyone on PC ...

I would have coffee with DocJohn of course! Anyone else here I can chat with or PM with all day long... but I rarely get to really converse with the founder of Groholville!

I agree, I don't appreciate this thread at all

It throws me back---- being trampled and forgotten as the youngest in a large dysfuntional family. I was even left at home one morning when I was six.... everyone forgot I was there.... I cried and was so scared. and when my mom finally did come home she told me how stupid I was for being upset.

Been so fearful of being left out that I think I actually cause it as I fear the "feeling" so much-- I just keep a distance so I can rationalize why I WAS left out-- It hurts so much.

I try to help people here at PC, when I am up to it... but still.......looks like I remain as what has always been.... left out. I'm insignificant, expendable.... not worth a thing.

Any one can make a bet and win big on a thread like this--- that "mandy" will be the one NOT mentioned..... I'm serious-- it's what is written for my life-- it's always been this way -- like I said, since I was little-- was told by an older sister that she tried to pay attention to me when she wasn't in school as I was left on my own as an infant-- I wasn't included in the family "group" even then. So you see-- this is no surprise for me--- It's all I've known.......

on the outside-- looking in

mandy

Well, there are 3 cups on the tray...one for Doc, one for me, and the other can be the community cup...each of you is invited!

I thought of making a list, you would have been on it..... but didn't make one for that very reason, someone would feel left out probably

Sorry you're hurting Mandy

I agree Candy, this thread wasn't intended to cause hurt

(((((((((((((((((((((mandyfins)))))))))))))))))))

so sorry you feel this way, i cant make it any better but just to know i appreciate you so sorry

jinny xoxoxoxoxo much love

I think this thread is a good opportunity for us to express ourselves...we cant stop expressing ourselves...otherwise the purpose of PC will be meaningless...

We all appreciate people here, and this thread is a good opportunity to express our love for one another...not a single person was targetted or made to feel left out...the ones here who feel left out are definately on lists, but just not of the ones posted...you think of the amount of members there are here, just because your name isnt listed, doesnt mean you are invisible or unloved, just means that the people that love and appreciate you havent posted yet... i have been mentioned on one list...and im fine by that...doesnt make me feel worthless, or invisible. im flattered to be on one list...i didnt expect to be on any...and im fine with that. why is it a problem?

what i would say, if i may, is that to any of you who feel hurt or uncomfortable, or victimised by this thread...just steer away from it and remember you have members here that love and appreciate you...members who WOULD love to meet up for a drink...but so many members dont post often anymore...

think of the phrase: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?" relate that to this situation..."if you arent mentioned, does it mean NO ONE cares"...the answer to both questions is "NO".

its not worth being offended by such innocence...maybe those of you who are upset or offended, join in and make your own list of potential coffee mates, then those in your list will know you are thinking of them, and they will add you to their list...its a two-way thing.

i was going to make a list...but i will give it a miss...but i know the list in my mind...thats all that counts i suppose...and those on the list know who they are too.

simon

crazy? or not? you the panel decide.

my simple solution to this would be to have a chat room coffee evening during the tuesday night talk with the doc, that way noone is feeling left out, everyone is welcome, true we are still all in our own safe places, ie home, and are not meeting people physically which can be a trigger / nightmare for some, like me,

or in the alternative those of us with webcams could set up a msn / yahoo / aol coffee evening via webcam so that we could talk in real time to each other whilst watching the other person online via the webcam.

"we can't stop expressing ourselves..... otherwise the purpose of PC would be meaningless"



I will say though, that some dxs (and of course history) make people particularly sensitive to things like this, and it isn't their fault any more than ANY dx is their fault

Right.

I understand that there is a lot of misunderstanding here around this thread.

I based it on a thread in a site on dance music where I go sometimes - it's local, e.g. my city, and many of us go out clubbing etc together. But a lot of us also don't know each other from a bar of soap.

The precise topic was 'If you could have a dinner party with 6 [name of site], who would you invite?' I think Candybear said something similar in her post - she was bang on.

Some people cited good friends, some people cited people who they weren't acquainted with but enjoyed the poster's contributions to the board.

The spirit of this thread was to generate some conversation about who people find interesting / amusing / mysterious. Not a popularity contest, and I do think it's worth remembering that sometimes things like this are designed for fun ... Maybe someone should have PMed me and said 'can you add in something like that to the initial post' rather than getting all upset and PMing each other that you're hurt by the content of the thread. That was certainly not the intent.

Let me ask you this. Do those of you who have an issue with this thread also have an issue every time you are not mentioned in a (((()))))) thread in the Kudos forum?

Because it is basically the same principle. Hence why it seems like a reasonable topic of conversation - those threads could also be perceive as somewhat exclusive.

Thank you for reading and those of you who still have beef over it, please feel free to PM me.

Thank you for the explanation Drunksunflower. I know its now clearer for me.

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Raynaadi said:
Thank you for the explanation Drunksunflower. I know its now clearer for me.

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Cool ...

My suggestion is this:

If someone has an issue with how I, or anyone else, frames up a question or post, please COMMUNICATE - post or PM with 'could you qualify it with something so that other people don't feel crap over it - whether that be an explanatory sentence, a trigger icon, or something else.

Does this make sense to people?

DSF,

Thank you for taking the time to write out your response...in kindness and with patience.

I do understand this is a social thread, and one hoping to bring togetherness...kind of a social kudos. I understand that this thread was not intended to hurt feelings, but to "help" feelings in a social way as you're a very social person.

Again, thank you for your explanation.

KD

To all...

This thread was not meant to exclude, but to include as much as possible with responses given. I can see that in the original post.

There are times we all feel "left out", uncared for, unnoticed. I know those feelings so well. In those times we need to work to find something that can help us feel better as no other one person can make us feel worse or bad if we don't invest some part of ourselves in it.

If certain threads of this nature are upsetting or we're feeling vulnerable, close them out and seek out that which makes us feel OK...if it's going into chat, PM'ing a friend, visiting a thread we know to be "fun" or calming and bookmarking it, etc...the "self-help" that we have at our fingertips.

We ALL contribute to make PC what it is. That makes ALL OF US something to be proud of and a reason everyone here logs on time and time again...each of us have an important role in that...individually and collectively.

Much love and respect to all.

KD

I knew I wouldn't be included, but couldn't help but coming back to check! I say all us "rejects" get together for coffee! Starbucks, maybe!
Seriously, it's okay to have this thread, but those of us who weren't included ....welll, that's life, I guess.
My teacher friends have mentioned several times I should have a party here at my new house to show all the improvements I've made. I would never do such a thing for fear no one would show up!! An amazing inferiority complex here!
I still love posting on PC!
Patty

basiclly this is a dream thread, most of us will never get to meet each other, but we can dream right?
I would love to have coffee,tea, and me with each and everyone here, but I know it won't happen, Mellors I love your idea of a coffee chat room, why not go for it

You know when I first checked out this thread my name wasn't mentioned, so I decided well, if nobody is going to invite me then I'll invite somebody. And she invited me back.
???
I know it's harder for some people to reach out but sometimes people just don't know you really care and you'd love to have coffee with them unless you take the initiative to make the invite first? So, let them know you care and YOU invite somebody!!!

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Jax2923 said:
You know when I first checked out this thread my name wasn't mentioned, so I decided well, if nobody is going to invite me then I'll invite somebody. And she invited me back.
???
I know it's harder for some people to reach out but sometimes people just don't know you really care and you'd love to have coffee with them unless you take the initiative to make the invite first? So, let them know you care and YOU invite somebody!!!

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Wow. Thank you for that post, it's the coolest one in the thread (don't feel stink please anyone else :P)

And yes it's a 'dream' thread. You can do all sorts of stuff hypothetically, it was really just to get people thinking about who they think might be interesting.

way to go, Jax!

Jeez, I'm sorry I posted what I did! PC and you all are important to me. I think it's only human nature to run down the list to see if you "made" it. Please don't pity me! I am most always included IRL.
Okie

:|

This was suppose to be a fun post...It doesn't bother me that I was not selected for coffee...lol...People just don't know me that is all!! lol...That is why I chose a coffee party for everybody!! Sorry some people's feelings were hurt..but come to my house and we will have a great time!

I'll bring the cinnabons

<font color="hotpink"> It's like the energizer bunny

(((((((((((((((({*All of US*})))))))))))))))



DFL, I felt the need. Not to be a thread changer. Please proceed with it.
I just felt like offering a hug to All of Us. If this post upsets you once again I apoligize.
This is for ALLLLL of Us. It can be deleted by Staff. That's ok.
I won't be hurt if you want it to be ok

Lots of love,

Jilene </font>

I'll have to add my two cents...

I think threads like this can be fun and positive. I think that if you have a problem with the very idea -- what 5 people would you invite to dinner or coffee or whatever -- you should simply not read or contribute to the thread.

Not every thread on the forums, especially in social chat, is going to be appropriate or enjoyable to every member. That's not a reasonable goal. So if you can't take the fact that someone might not name you on their list, this would be a good thread to simply not read.

I've never been a part of the "in crowd," and I learned not only to live with it, but to embrace it because it's a part of what makes me unique. If you're not okay with something like this, then that's your issue, not other members'.

DocJohn
" The guy nobody wanted coffee with on the first page or two! "