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#126
Mar 10, 2008, 06:01 PM
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-While a normal poker face conceals the emotion of its wearer, Chuck Norris’s poker face skips all that and just drives other players insane. As a result, the only way to survive a game of poker against Chuck Norris is to play online, and even then you still might go insane.
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#127
Mar 10, 2008, 06:01 PM
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-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. |
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#128
Mar 10, 2008, 06:01 PM
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The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s *** halfway through the first chapter.
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#129
Mar 10, 2008, 06:01 PM
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-Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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#130
Mar 10, 2008, 06:01 PM
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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#131
Mar 10, 2008, 06:02 PM
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-Q: What’s 30 times Chuck Norris? A: Oblivion. |
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#132
Mar 10, 2008, 06:02 PM
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If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
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#133
Mar 10, 2008, 06:02 PM
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-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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#134
Mar 10, 2008, 06:02 PM
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Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
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#135
Mar 10, 2008, 06:03 PM
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Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
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#136
Mar 10, 2008, 06:04 PM
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Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
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#137
Mar 10, 2008, 06:04 PM
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Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
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#138
Mar 10, 2008, 06:04 PM
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Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Chuck Norris had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.
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#139
Mar 10, 2008, 06:04 PM
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Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
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#140
Mar 10, 2008, 06:05 PM
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-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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#141
Mar 10, 2008, 06:05 PM
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-Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. |
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#142
Mar 10, 2008, 06:05 PM
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The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
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#143
Mar 10, 2008, 06:05 PM
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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#144
Mar 10, 2008, 06:05 PM
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Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ***-kicking.
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#145
Mar 10, 2008, 06:06 PM
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Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
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#146
Mar 10, 2008, 06:06 PM
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Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
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#147
Mar 10, 2008, 06:06 PM
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-In conversation, Chuck Norris often quotes himself, and then laughs about it. |
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#148
Mar 10, 2008, 06:06 PM
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'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
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#149
Mar 10, 2008, 06:07 PM
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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#150
Mar 10, 2008, 06:07 PM
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-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
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