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#151
Mar 10, 2008, 06:07 PM
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-February 29th only occurs once every four years because Chuck Norris wills it to be so. |
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#152
Mar 10, 2008, 06:07 PM
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When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't drink milk. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
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#153
Mar 10, 2008, 06:07 PM
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-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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#154
Mar 10, 2008, 06:07 PM
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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#155
Mar 10, 2008, 06:08 PM
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Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
__________________
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#156
Mar 10, 2008, 06:08 PM
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-Chuck Norris really likes the movie 101 Dalmatians. No one knows why.
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#157
Mar 10, 2008, 06:08 PM
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In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
__________________
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#158
Mar 10, 2008, 06:08 PM
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-Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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#159
Mar 10, 2008, 06:08 PM
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-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. |
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#160
Mar 10, 2008, 06:08 PM
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Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ***, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
__________________
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#161
Mar 10, 2008, 06:09 PM
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-There’s an old Chuck Norris saying: “He who has the Chuck Norris makes the rules.” It’s one of those nonsensical old sayings, since it implies that someone can “have” Chuck Norris. |
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#162
Mar 10, 2008, 06:09 PM
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-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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#163
Mar 10, 2008, 06:09 PM
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-Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. |
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#164
Mar 10, 2008, 06:09 PM
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-A man stopped Chuck Norris on the street and asked him to list 100 Chuck Norris facts. Unamused, Chuck Norris raised one eyebrow with such force that the man disintegrated. |
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#165
Mar 10, 2008, 06:09 PM
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If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
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#166
Mar 10, 2008, 06:10 PM
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HAPPY 68th BIRTHDAY CHUCK NORRIS!
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#167
Mar 10, 2008, 06:10 PM
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Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
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#168
Mar 10, 2008, 06:10 PM
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MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
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#169
Mar 10, 2008, 06:10 PM
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-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. |
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#170
Mar 10, 2008, 06:10 PM
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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#171
Mar 10, 2008, 06:10 PM
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-Chuck Norris once picked a fight with a duck. The duck turned out to have several 10th degree blackbelts, and was the most formidable adversary Chuck Norris ever faced. Funny how random the universe can be.
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#172
Mar 10, 2008, 06:11 PM
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-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
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#173
Mar 10, 2008, 06:11 PM
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-Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
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#174
Mar 10, 2008, 06:11 PM
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Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
__________________
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#175
Mar 10, 2008, 06:11 PM
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-There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
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