[Lexicon78]

I miss my mom so much right now. She had cancer 4 times...the last time killed her. Now something is happening with me that I need her advice on...I'm spotting and don't know what's wrong. I never spot...I'm never abnormal in any way. If she were here she could tell me what is wrong...she was a nurse. She knew everything in that profession.

I need her to comfort me...tell me everything's gonna be ok...that I'm gonna be ok. I don't want this to be cancer or anything serious. I don't want to be pregnant. I don't want anything to disrupt my life as it is now. I just want my mom. I want her in every way that a child can want a parent...I need her right now.

I was hoping my grieving period was over, but it's not. I'm really scared and I know she could help me out now. Everybody thinks I'm overreacting to this spotting but with my mom's history of cancer I can't be too careful.

I'm really scared.

i'm sorry. xoxoxo pat

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((lexi)))))))))))))))))))))

[eskielover]

Lexi,

I too went through my mother dying of cancer. It was vulvar cancer which she ignored until the tumor was the size of my fist (between her legs). Her surgeon continually told me at the end (which he never admitted it was) that she hadn't given him anything to work with when she finally came to him.

That taught me to never let anything go until it is "too late". Even if your mother hadn't had cancer, if I were spotting I would get in as soon as possible & see your Dr. No matter what your friends are saying about you overreacting, it is better to be safe than sorry.

It is really sad looking back at my Mother & realizing that her choice was the one that ended up determining how she would die.

You had a much better relationship with your mother than I had with mine. All I learned from my Mother was "what NOT to do, & how not to be". You are lucky to have had a mother who could help you through your tough times & one who had the answers that would help you. They always said that when you are young, your parents don't know anything & when you grow older, they all of a sudden become smarter.......not the case in my life.

You are very lucky to have the thoughts & memories you have of your mother, a mother who could help you out in tough situations. That is a blessing you will always have....those thoughts will continue through your life & hopefully be a pattern for your own life to live by.

Do what you think your mother would tell you to do......let her still guide you with your memories of her.....she is still there for you in your mind & spirit....even though not physically.

Debbie

[EJ711]

Lexi,
I can see where you would feel scared, and how your spotting and wanting an answer from your Mom, would set off your grief again. Grief is such a messy--just never know when something is going to come up that will remind any of us of our deceased Moms. Have you had the courage to make a doctor's appointment. to check things out? I wish I had the medical knowledge to give you some ideas of what it could mean, but I don't. I hope and pray you will feel better soon. Prayers for peace, Jane - Oz