[forklift]

I lost my best friend of 17 years 2 months and ten days.
I am always the strong one I dont know how to deal with this. She died at home and I miss her more than I could possibly say. She died almost to the hour two years after my mom......and I thought that was hard! I worry that I did not do enough to help her. I cry at home it seems all the time. I just feel like I am lost

[DocClyde]

(((Forklift)))

I am so very sorry for your losses...

Welcome to PC...

I`m so sorry!

[bebop]

I am so sorry for your loss. words are never enough or the right things to say during these times. It does get a little easier as time goes on but it takes time for that to start happening. come here and lean on us anytime.

[Pita]

(((((forklift)))))) I am so so sorry that you lost your wife, your best friend. Time will make things different but one month is not very long. It is understandable that you are still devastated. It is okay to lean on family and friends if you have ones that are close and strong. It is also okay to lean on us here at PC - we have all been down dark paths and can help you hang in there until the light returns. Take care of yourself and be understanding of yourself.

[heyjoe]

I am very sorry for the death of your wife and for what you are going through. I understand very well the feeling of not having done enough.....im not sure it gets easier with time, we just get a scab over the raw emotion and sometimes its ripped off and we bleed all over again. There are plenty of people to talk to here and even if it doesnt change anything, its good to be with people and not isolated.

i am so very sorry.....if you need a shoulder.......i can be here for you......

I to am very sorry for your loss. With time things ease some. As Joe said there is many of us here who have lost loved ones. You are not alone.
I am sure you did everything you could for your Wife. It takes a strong person to do what you did.
May you find some peace........

[Soidhonia]

Hello Forklift. I am very sorry for the loss of your wife. There are chats at Psych CEntral periodically and you are more than welcome to attend any chat when someone is in the chat room. Seeing a therapist may be in order if you are not feeling better soon. Loss can bring on depression as well as other physical symptoms. when you are up to it you may want to get a physical and a mental health evaluation for therapy and meds that can help the depression. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

[snowflake_48888]

I am very sorry for you loss. I know how you feel. Ironically our stories are similiar.
I lost my mom March of 1999 and then my husband in Jan 2001. Both were ill but that doesnt make it any easier.

I go thru times feeling guilty about my husband....if I would have called 911 sooner, if I did CPR better, why didnt I go out to dinner with him the night before he died....you know the what if's..they seem to play in our minds. It can be torcher...I know.

If you would like you can pm me anytime...I would be happy to share my experience and feelings with you.
Snow

[(JD)]

[EJ711]

Forklift,

I'm sorry for your loss.

I hope the understanding you receive here, will help to lift your spirits soon.

EJ

[forklift]

I thank you all for your compassion. snow I feel for you and YES the ifs buts and ands are the hardest. its only been a month but i know my wife would be glad that i found somewhere i can share how i feel

[LMo]

My thoughts are with you, Forklift. I'm really sorry. You must be in enormous pain

[snowflake_48888]

Yes she would be happy forklift that you found somewhere you can express your feelings. We are here when you need some understanding and comfort.
Snow

[Sabrina]

Forklift, I am truly sorry for your loss!

[tabi1818]

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband a year and a half ago and know what you are dealing with. For almost 3 months after he passed away I did not leave my house. Does it get better with time as everyone says it will? We all deal with grief in our own way. I know for me I have a long diffcult road ahead. Take care.

tabi

((((((((((forklift)))))))))))))

so glad you found pc, sorry for the loss of your wife, there is so much support here for you, take care and keep talking, crying, writing.

hugs, Jinnyann xoxoxoxo

[prozac]

It is so wonderful that your wife was your best friend. You feel really lost, because you think that she is gone, but she's not. She is living inside of your mind and your heart. You have not lost her, she was with you, physically for over 17 years and how blessed you were that you had a great relationship. Now just relax and remember and focus on all of the days that you had together, rather than on the ONE day that she died. If she is your best friend, then I'm sure that she feels that you are her best friend too.
So no regrets, your heart will heal, you won't forget her, she is a big part of your life.
You have what most people are looking for. Someone who loves you, who you love in return. She still loves you, love doesn't die.

[tiredofbeingjudg]

Forklift - have you tried the youngwidows forum???? I think they are still on yahoo.

Being a widow of 8 yrs I understand your grief - and they will too. I was a moderator on the site for 2 years and personally couldn't of made it without those friends - great, close friends today - I can depend on them as they know how it feels. I will try to find the website - probably tomorrow as I need some sleep...texan