RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE: transphobia and binarism and how it makes me really really mad

Okay, I don't endorse hate. I don't like seeing it. BUT I AM REALLY REALLY REALLY TIRED of cisgendered people getting angry at trans and nonbinary people for calling them out on obvious bullsh*t! I'm tired of the "we're not all like that!" and "don't you want allies?" and "don't you want people to support you?" and it's like, YES WE DO.

But the problem is, is that cisgendered people are so finicky about supporting trans people, and one negative comment suddenly means that they will withdraw their support. That's not how being an ally works! Being an ally means sticking with us through the good and the bad. Like my friend Odin. He is a perfect example of a cis-ally. He ignores the "cis-scum" comments he sees on the internet and KNOWS that he is not that person! And he goes out of his way to help me feel better and be a good f*cking friend!!!

Cisgendered people are so entitled. They expect to be informed about everything personally and fed all the information they need instead of doing some research and seeking knowledge on their own!

And then there's those who claim "cisphobia" saying that they were victimized by some angry text posts on tumblr or facebook. LIKE??? Do you know what real attacks are?? You've never been told that as a cis person your identity is invalid or isn't real. You have never been told that! And your gender is always an option on papers. Your sex is always an option too! YOu ever take the time to think that maybe Intersex people would like a fricking check box on a resume??? I mean REALLY???

I've literally seen the worst of humanity tonight. There is a blog on tumblr that left a nasty comment on a friend's post, and their fricking blog title was "iheartcishet" and they literally just went around leaving comments disregarding trans people in general.

I am so mad right now. REally mad. UUUGH.

I'm sorry you encounter this so often and you hurt so bad because of it.
I also find it really awful that people think it's not a problem that people act on uch thoughts and ideals and speak/write in such ways.

Basic human decency is disappearing.
Be mad as hell, I'm sorry this happens.

Adding more to my tyranical rant.
AAUUUUGH why is it that no matter what you tell people and how much you explain that they never seem satisfied and will shoot you down any chance they frickin get?? Like "Well you cant really be androgyne/genderqueer." WHY NOT? I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW. IN FRONT OF YOU!

Also, really frickin sick of people using sex and gender interchangably. Literally they are two seperate things. LIKE IF THEY WERE THE SAME WHY WOULD THERE BE TWO DIFFERENT WORDS???

And my god narrow minded and uneducated people will be the death of me. People that think someone's sex can only be male or female, disregarding the randomness and unknown of human DNA and how nature doesn't exactly care about the frickin binary sex structure. Yes, people with only vaginas and uteruses, and people with only penises and testes are more common, but that doesn't mean we should erase anyone who doesn't fall into these categories.

That would be like saying that since a majority of living brings in the workd are insects, then humans are an unatural mutation. Mosquitoes came first, so they must be the norm, RIGHT?!

Ugh. I seriously just don't get people at all.

Cishet people hate being labeled "cishet" because they have to deal with a label. They realize, for the first time in their lives, that it is no longer the gender/sexual OR social norm. And they resent that. For years and years and years, they have been told they have reached the prime normality. Now, with people becoming more self educated, they feel so harmed when their whole being is reduced to a label. Cishets don't think they require a label, and it makes them feel hurt and sad which makes them think they have even an ounce of understanding with trans/queer folk who have been maliciously bullied/harassed/attacked.

They want to be the "normal" ones. It intimidates them to have that normality title snatched away from them. Hence why "cis is a slur" campaigns started. Insert eye roll here, endless, endless, eye roll.

I agree with Josie. Be mad. Cis people who say they will withdraw their support aren't really allies. They use "I guess you don't need my support then!" as a manipulation technique to control our speech, our activism, our existence. It's another issue in the cis "community". Since they are not included in our speech, in our existence, they want to gain control over it. Point this out to any of them giving you a problem and I guarantee you they will say "Well, don't I deserve some say as an allie?". They forget it's not a CEO position. Our opinions matter over theirs. All they have to do is be supportive and make sure their cis friends stop saying trash as if it is gospel. In the long run, their jobs are extremely minimal considering all they have to do is ///listen///, which leads to support and understanding.

I think the most amusing thing cishet people do when it comes to being shi** is going "why don't you stop complaining about everything? especially online! you social justice warriors live for this! always something to complain about!" and then blogs like "ilovecishets" is created where they do exactly what they crap on others for doing. (btw report that blog!! I know a lot of people are doing it right now).

Personally, I'm not going to stop saying "cis people" and change it to "SOME cis people". Yeah, no, sorry. If it's so easy for them to group trans/queer people into one group and make sure they have no say in their identities being safe, I will assume all cis people are ignorant until they prove me otherwise on this topic. At first I felt bad saying cis people as a general statement. Now I realize I have nothing to be guilty of. If not every cis person is like "that", they better get their acts together because I am vastly disappointed.

"I think the most amusing thing cishet people do when it comes to being shi** is going "why don't you stop complaining about everything? especially online! you social justice warriors live for this! always something to complain about!" and then blogs like "ilovecishets" is created where they do exactly what they crap on others for doing. (btw report that blog!! I know a lot of people are doing it right now)."

I have reported them and if they don't get taken down soon I will report them again. Hate speech is against tumblrs guidelines, so the reports should get it taken down quite quickly.

But yeah, at first my cis friend was like, "i really dont like being called cishet.." Then he buolt himself a bridge, AND GOT OVER IT. It's that easy. He literally just stopped caring. He's okay with it. We even make dumb jokes about.

As he should. I would understand if being called cishet/cis made you lose a job, left you at extreme risk of physical/emotional violence, could have you kicked out of your home, cause you to be harassed by doctors.... oh wait, that's trans people.

Cishets can deal with being called cishet considering we have to deal with their seemingly endless ignorance.

Adding more to the rant! Gosh diddly darn I'm just full of mad today. Binarsm is reeeeaaally starting to irk me more and more. Especially the phrase "ladies and gentlemen" because ALL my teachers use it. And I sit there like "Uh...okay". I can't stand when the idea that only two genders exist is constantly reinforced.

I want representation. I want equality. I WANT MORE THAN ONE BATHROOM THATS ACROSS THE SCHOOL IN THE NURSES OFFICE AND EVEN THEN IT'S STILL SPLIT INTO BATHROOMS LABELLED BOY AND GIRL.

And a cis person would chime in right now "well, that's asking a lot, we can't expect everyone to understand." lol

I know that feeling. And it's aggravating beyond belief. Why not say "Hello, students", I mean jesus christ if language is a constantly evolving topic, why do people like to remind us that this is just "asking too much"?

You also have the right to ask for an accessible gender neutral bathroom! They just don't want us knowing this.

People who claim they are "normal" are always entitled... I mean not each and every individual, but as a group. It doesn't matter what makes one be outside the norm, but the "abnormal" person always has to do all the work, explaining and whatnot. Sometimes I as a freak need to know how the normie reasons but they will never tell me because I should be able to read their minds.

The sad thing is, if I hadn't been born different, I probably would been an idiot too...

Jimi, you worded that perfectly.

You're right, and it is something that has happened to me on PC before, actually. I remember someone calling me a girl (because if you're emotional clearly you can be dubbed a female) and when I said "I'm not a girl" I kept on getting asked if I was a boy, etc etc. I gave in and said "I am non-binary, but I don't want to talk about it." which turned into people yelling at me, telling me they can't and wont understand if I don't explain it, and how I expect anyone to respect me if I don't educate them like lol are you going to pay me to tutor your masses yet again?

Literally we could generate a meme around cis people.
"Not all of us are like that!"
"There are so many pronouns, how am I supposed to know them all?"
"Stop complaining, it can't be that bad."
"Why don't you embrace allies? We're the only ones supporting you!"
"The A stands for ally!"
"Allies are part of the acronym!"
"You're just trying to be a special snowflake!"

Cis as*holes are literally a bad internet meme.

The thing is- I wouldn't expect a lay person to be knowledgeable about things that they might not have part in, in term of implication implementation of public equality and consistent implication implementation of said equal treatment in various systems.

So.. teachers, any kind of school official, anyone in any public organization, any one who is a superior of any organization, any public servant... I mean that still covers a lot of ground and includes a lot of people who should be seeking out the information about the public and demographics that they serve and interact with- they should seek understanding. So, yeah there should be gender neutral facilities. There should be... a LOT of things.

Just because you haven't yet had someone shove an ADA order in your face is no reason you shouldn't have these perfectly appropriate facilities.

It's bizarre, that places don't and find it unreasonable and "special treatment" when even discussion is brought up.

I also don't think- in terms of the various "lay people" who may not fall into those groups- ignorance is an excuse to be a narrow minded, hard headed ***.

Like you've not heard of something, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

All inclusive language is pretty important because we don't know who we talk to, and to assume we do at all times is pretty silly.

I kind of am preaching to the choir probably, and I'm not trying to like appropriate ideals or personal issues that are not specifically mine, nor am I trying to take over the thread.

i honestly have trouble knowing where or when it is appropriate for me to speak as a supporter of those I care about [like as a secondary activist, i guess? uh, I don't know how to phrase it] so that I am a supporter and not trying to speak FOR other people.

Speaking of ignorance though, I had never actually run into the term cishet?
Not offended by it, nor by the term cis. I don't really like the term "normal" because then it defaults anyone who doesn't fall under that label to "abnormal"... which is not really accurate.

I don't really care, for myself.

I dont know, i hope I didn't like, shout over people here or stomp on anyones feet. I'm going to withdraw here, though.

You don't need to withdraw! You have made valid points and stated things respectfully, and that is a really, really good thing.

To not be offended by the term cis is also a good thing. As it is a term meant to grow on not using the term "normal", which is a silencing factor in trans/NB issues.

I think, with the internet how it is today, and even the endless amount of literature that does exist, people tend to remain ignorant for ignorance sake. I am sure you have read up on things, you ask question respectfully, and that is fantastic.

I think the problem, and this isn't with you at all, with cis people is they think they have the right to be educated by every trans/NB person. Even if that person can be triggered by the discussion that usually ends in someone chiming in "well, that's ridiculous!!" so all the effort we put forth is ignored.

Agh.

CAPS LOCK AHEAD. LOTS OF YELLING AND POSSIBLY FOUL LANGUAGE.

GOD, I AM SO F*CKING DONE WITH ENTITLED CISNORMATIVE BULLSH*T. YEAH, I WAS MAD BEFORE, BUT NOW I AM LIVID.

FOR THE LAST GODD*MN TIME, I AM NOT A GIRL. NOT A BOY EITHER. I AM A F*CKING ANDROGYNE WHO PREFERS THEY AS A PRONOUN. I WILL END YOU.

I WILL RISE UP AND TAKE YOU DOWN A MOTHERF*CKING PEG. SO SIT DOWN AND IMA LEARN YOU SOMETHING.

NOT EVERYONE IS GONNA BE COOL WITH BEING A BOY OR A GIRL.

I AM STUCK IN LAW EDUCATION BEING A CIS WOMAN IN OUR MOCK TRIAL, AND I AM P*SSED. I REFUSE TO BE PUT INTO SUCH AN INSULTING POSITION AND HAVE MY FEELINGS IGNORED. I REFUSE TO PLAY A PART THAT MAKES ME DYSPHORIC AND BE CALLED 'MISS'.

***** THIS BULLS*T.

RAGE RAGE VENT VENT VENT YELLING!

Seamster, I agree with you. When it comes to trans/non binary we are back in the same place gays/lesbians were 25 years ago or so. Things DO need to change. People CAN be ignorant and entitled. And it's just bad and wrong. Trans awareness is starting to get some attention, and along with us there's some awareness for non binaries too. There needs to be more. I don't understand why people can't seem to wrap their minds around these concepts. Luckily, there are people like JosietheGirl around and there needs to be more, really. Slowly, but surely. I think where you live can make a big difference as well.

Wait... what?

Are there other individuals being coerced/pressured/compelled into participating as genders they do not identify as?

I don't know the details, but the fact that you are right pissed off would indicate you feel you have to do it. So, no not fing ok.
This is completely absurd.
Even over the top more so because it is occurring in a law education environment.

I don't know what to say, other than that is unacceptable and I wish I could offer some comfort.

good.
You are absolutely justified in giving hell to any and everyone with ears.

I'm sorry you are encountering this bull.

Well said Josie and thank you

It's a movk trial. And currently I am a prospective juror. We were all given backstories and had to convince people that is who we were. And the teacher, bless his heart I don't think he meant to make me angry, assigned us parts that had male or female and he assumed me to have a female status.

As far as I know, the rest of my class is cisgendered. So this only affects me. So I'm super uncomfortable and dysphoric being stuck in this part. I think I'll talk to him about it.

Seeing how much this is distressing for you, I think that's a good idea. I hope he's fair and understanding for you and some sort of agreement that works for both of you will arise.

He really is a nice teacher, i just don't think he properly understands. I need some time before class to talk to him, that would be best. I am upset be the binarism of it all, but understand it isn't malicious.

I talked to my teacher, and he was very understanding. Of course there was the sense he didn't quite get it, but all the same he promised to start refering to me neutrally. And during the mock trial I will not be refered to as 'miss'. So that has been resolved.

Wow that's really awesome. He sounds like a pretty cool teacher I'm glad you were able to resolve this.

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