Things Cis People Say

OutofTune · Aug 16, 2014, 04:19 AM

"You're not trying hard enough to be [birth sex/assigned gender]"
"You're going to hurt your family"
"It's your own fault you're miserable"

Dontcha just love it?

TheSeamster · Aug 19, 2014, 07:30 AM

*cis voice* Have u tried no t being trans?*
OuO

Aug 19, 2014, 07:43 AM

"Yeah i know too lol, when I was a kid I wondered what it must be like to wear guy's pants"

OutofTune · Aug 20, 2014, 07:05 PM

"You looked better as a girl"

Shut up please.

purplegiraffe1 · Sep 30, 2014, 12:58 AM

"What was your name before you changed it?"
I've also gotten the "so which bathroom do you use?"
"so, when are you going to transition?"
"how do you know you're really transgender and not just gay or a lesbian? It sounds to me like this is just because you're parents set standards for what a 'guy' and 'girl' should be."
Yeah, these have all been said to me at some point this past semester.

purplegiraffe1 · Sep 30, 2014, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyheart22

As a non-binary person who is biologically female or afab, however you wish to call it ,and identifies as a heterosexual woman but who also feels more masculine than feminine in most other areas, one thing that always annoys me is when cis people(my mom for ex does it a lot) tell me things like :

"why don't you just let your hair grow a bit, style it a tad more feminine, maybe wear some jewellery or a piece of clothing that would make you look more feminine? Everyone makes compromises, why would it be so hard to just temper that masculine side so men would maybe like you, as you so desire?"

Very painful to hear although I know they mean well and sincerely can't understand the problem. It makes me feel like what they actually mean, without intending it that way, is that in order to be attractive/liked/accepted/loved, I need to hide a huge part of my identity and put myself through a mental ordeal because my identity, the very way that I am is making me undesirable for no reason.

I was just talking to some people at my school's lgbt resource center about how no one but my sister knows i'm transgender in my family because if they knew, they would disown me and my dad would also tell his friends to never speak to me or my fiancé again... it's a terrible feeling to have to hide who i really am whenever i'm with them...

molipa · Oct 10, 2014, 06:30 PM

when I read these posts I'm frightened by the people's ignorance.

I'm a cis person (or I think so, well, don't really know, a little bit confused) but I've never been so stupid about this. I live in an area where there's absolutely (or practically and I don't know the ones who did) nobody who outed themselves as transgendered, and yet I've never seen trans people as "gay who are confused" or stuff like that.

I'm more inclined to understand people who just don't like you, or fathers who disown you, they're just intolerant, but most of these thing you've written here are just exceptional proof of ignorance and close-mindedness, it doesn't even look like deliberate intolerance.

TheSeamster · Oct 11, 2014, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molipa

when I read these posts I'm frightened by the people's ignorance.

I'm a cis person (or I think so, well, don't really know, a little bit confused) but I've never been so stupid about this. I live in an area where there's absolutely (or practically and I don't know the ones who did) nobody who outed themselves as transgendered, and yet I've never seen trans people as "gay who are confused" or stuff like that.

I'm more inclined to understand people who just don't like you, or fathers who disown you, they're just intolerant, but most of these thing you've written here are just exceptional proof of ignorance and close-mindedness, it doesn't even look like deliberate intolerance.

Ignorance is a frightening thing indeed. Especially of those who blindly defend their ignorance and attack the other party. I'm pre-t so everyone still mistakes me for a cis woman, but I'm scared of what could happen once I do start T. Especially at work.

seraphic · Oct 12, 2014, 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molipa

when I read these posts I'm frightened by the people's ignorance.

I'm a cis person (or I think so, well, don't really know, a little bit confused) but I've never been so stupid about this. I live in an area where there's absolutely (or practically and I don't know the ones who did) nobody who outed themselves as transgendered, and yet I've never seen trans people as "gay who are confused" or stuff like that.

I'm more inclined to understand people who just don't like you, or fathers who disown you, they're just intolerant, but most of these thing you've written here are just exceptional proof of ignorance and close-mindedness, it doesn't even look like deliberate intolerance.

Where are you from, molipa? Your sidebar says France... I've lived in the US most of my life, so I'm curious how people feel about and treat trans people in other countries.

Grey Matter · Oct 28, 2014, 07:33 PM

"Well I am cis but I deserve to be a part of the trans conversation"

Oct 30, 2014, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grey Matter

"Well I am cis but I deserve to be a part of the trans conversation"

Just wow....

CuttlefishCuller · Nov 20, 2014, 11:49 AM

"Okay, but you have boobs! "

"Not until you've had the surgery......"

"I'm not a lesbian. Wait, I mean you're a boy, but I don't like girls. Uuhh.."
"This girl is a transvestite!"
"It's hard okay, I have to use a new name and pronouns!" (After refusing to try..)
"Transgendered"
"Hermaphrodite"
"Insert slur"
"So you're like a drag queen?"

-jimi- · Nov 24, 2014, 12:29 AM

"We have the right to be in the trans forum even if we're not trans, don't make a scene and act like a baby!"

TheSeamster · Dec 05, 2014, 03:25 PM

*cis male voice* but what about me? aren't all people important?

(read "all people" as "I want to be part of this even though i am not trans or nonbinary and think my opinion should be considered")

TheSeamster · Dec 20, 2014, 07:33 AM

*cis voice* But those aren't real pronouns.
But technically that's not your real name.
But technically that's not your real sex.
But technically that's not who you really are.
But technically I'm right.
But technically ( insert ******** here).

For real. If I had a nickel for every time I heard a cis person say "But technically" I'd have enough for top surgery and hormones for life.

TheSeamster · Dec 21, 2014, 12:35 AM

Stop making up words/genders/pronouns!

Like, bruh, do you understand that all words are made up. That's how we got words to start with.

TheSeamster · Dec 31, 2014, 10:05 AM

*religious cis voice*
God doesn't make mistakes

kraken1851 · Dec 31, 2014, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSeamster

*religious cis voice*
God doesn't make mistakes

Well, EXACTLY!

-jimi- · Dec 31, 2014, 03:38 PM

How do they even think it would be a mistake? Do they know God? Maybe God uses people who are different and somehow "weak" (I don't mean that in a bad way, just thinking about the message that we should take care of them because they are closer to God) to test other people. If so, the bible bashers fail quite bad.

How do they know God didn't deliberately made me agender and some people trans? Why would it be a mistake?

From the start all people had brown eyes. Then some people started having blue eyes. Was that a mistake? It wasn't according to the norm. Today we don't look down on blue eyed people.

Sorry my talk is a little fragmented today. I hope someone can piece together what it is I'm saying.

seraphic · Jan 01, 2015, 09:13 AM

"I prefer to not use pronouns." really now? are you suuuuuuuuuure about that? you want to try going for an hour without using pronouns when you talk?

TheSeamster · Jan 01, 2015, 09:39 AM

Well I don't see gender!
Why can't we all just be people?
Why do we need to label ourselves with gender?
We're all the same!

This is similar to "color-blind" white people. Or white people that say they don't see race. Gender is a big part of a lot of people's identity. Especially trans/nb people.

Grey Matter · Jan 04, 2015, 12:19 AM

"you just had daddy issues"

one of the more creative ones I've heard lately tbh.

kraken1851 · Jan 16, 2015, 10:36 AM

In a meeting, discussing if and how to ask people for their gender in a survey.

Boss (who I'm out to): "So should we include more than two options for gender?"

Colleague (who doesn't have a clue) : "WHAT? NO! There are just two genders. It's biology!"

Me:

Honestly, it's time I started playing cis-/heteronormativity bs bingo.

AnthonyDerBlaue · Jan 16, 2015, 03:45 PM

Overheard a group of girls from my school talking about a trans boy I know (suprisingly in a fairly respectful way), and one of them says:
"If he likes girls why can't he just be a lesbian?"

And, inspired by her friends who at least tried to explain to her that gender and sexuality were two different things:
*Uses the pronouns of a trans person in a really smug voice like they're expecting an award for getting it right*

kraken1851 · Jan 22, 2015, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kraken1851

In a meeting, discussing if and how to ask people for their gender in a survey.

Boss (who I'm out to): "So should we include more than two options for gender?"

Colleague (who doesn't have a clue) : "WHAT? NO! There are just two genders. It's biology!"

Me:

Honestly, it's time I started playing cis-/heteronormativity bs bingo.

So today that same colleague told me she included an "other" gender option "because she thought it was fun".

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