The mind of a Narcissist

I thought this could be very interesting, if all Ns here could write a paragraph of how our minds are different. The way we feel, see, react and do things. Doesn't have to be a book(or it could be). I think that for us it would really create something that makes sense. For the others who come to read this may just help them too.

It will work best if we do not read any other posts. Make sure you read above paragraph. Skip right to the end and reply before reading any others. I bet so many will be alike.

For me.. it's that I have a pretty high opinion of myself... I display plenty of pride and arrogance... I have a hard time being objective about my own faults..... I cause pain to others and cause problems, and yet, I want to justify my behavior, even if I know it does cause others pain.

I have a hard time seeing how it might be possible to work together with people towards some common goal (unless, of course, it's my goal, then I think everyone else ought to work together with me towards that goal)..... it's all about me.. all the time.

I am a prisinor of my self. Captured in my undieng need to be something else than i truly and deeply am. I attack fiersly if i'm critisied.if i am put on the same level. on the other hand and at the same time i realize that i am nothing of what i want to be. It makes me angry, so deeply hurt and so deeply paralized that i do alot to seem to be what i want:strong,beutifull,wanted, needed,above others. Almost godlike.

But i can be berfectly satisfied to be next to a person who seems to be all of that aslong as i am the importanr person to him. Fiance, bestfriend,soulmate etc.

But i am not a classic N. I am covert N.

I burst to flames if i think u judge me. I "forgive " if i can be above u by it. I can imitate feelings, lie, manipulate. And very often do it without realizing that i am doing it.

But i would like to be happy with myself, in peace. Goal i think i will never achieve.

I have a high level of self esteem. I know that I'm better than most of the people I socialize with. It gives me a real sense of power and superiority. I love to manipulate people- it's so easy to do, and I can play a lot of people like a fiddle. I have no shame in telling people their faults, and have little to no remorse when it comes to my actions. I am extremely ambitious and am as charming as anyone could be. There are still people who criticize me, but it doesn't effect me like it used to. Overall, it's helped me more than it's hindered me.

Funny that the N that began this post didn't put his own out there. Haha, you knew I'd give you a hard time...

Yes, I do actually believe that it’s all about me and I’ve never gone out of my way to hide that fact unless a situation came up where hiding my true nature would be beneficial. My whole world, inner and outer experiences… It all relates back to myself because I am what is always of primary importance because I see myself as an omnipotent/omnipresent divine being. That’s the way to sum up how I “work”. It is all about me, all the time.


My therapist recently asked me an interesting question: How can I, as a Narcissist, look at myself objectively?


The answer is I can and I cannot at the same time. The honest truth of the matter is that obviously by my very nature I am extremely self-aware yet oblivious to everyone else at the same time. When I first read the diagnostic criteria for NPD, I was a bit surprised for a moment I will admit. It was like acing a test I did not even know I was taking. The surprise was extremely transient, and I moved into a state that is my “normal”: I was diagnosed with NPD and I turned it around in my mind to be a good thing. I do not see the diagnosis as negative. I can put on a good act of listing off what a professional sees as “dysfunctional”, but it is all pretense on my part. Ditto with laypeople who ask me if I care at all about “changing” and if I desire said “change”. No. I do not.


Empathy is not a capacity I have at all. I have a level of “cognitive empathy” but not much as I am far too absorbed in my own world and focused on what I want, to look all too far beyond my own reflection.


I don’t see anyone else as on the same level as me. I am superior to everyone, and you’d be surprised how many people actually truly agree with my assessment. I have many admirers, and for several it is a straight up obsession with me. Obviously, I have no issues with this. I would make an excellent cult leader of any kind because I am so dominant and socially aggressive. I am also exceptionally charismatic and I have always used that personality trait to my benefit and of course I don’t care about whomever I drive into the ground in the process.


Do I know that my behavior is harmful to others? Yes and no. Unless I am doing something on purpose to get revenge on someone, I honestly have no idea when I am harming someone and if said someone tells me that I am “hurting” them somehow… I openly scoff at them and tell them they must be crazy. How can I be “hurting” someone if I have no idea that I’m doing it supposedly? It makes no sense!


Why would I have empathy for anyone else? Frankly, I see empathy as a huge weakness and it automatically makes someone inferior in my eyes/mind. I do not care about empathy. When it is brought up as being the holy grail of what makes someone a “good” person, you will find me being openly dismissive, arrogant, and condescending while I give people an education about how empathy doesn’t make you good just because you have it. Like wow, congratulations; you’re an inferior peasant! Think you’re special and a paragon of virtue? You’re not. You’re just like every other loser on the planet! Yes, this is honestly what goes through my mind and yes I have actually said things like this openly with zero shame at all. How stating the truth “hurts” people, I don’t have a clue. All I am doing in my mind is stating the truth.


“Exploitative”, oh people say that like it’s a bad thing! Yes, I always get what I want and I don’t have a problem with “using” people to get what I want. Everyone “uses” people whether they admit it or not. Everyone is selfish on some level. So really, in all frank honesty, I literally do not see how people see Narcissists as so destructive.


Inferiority complex? I think that entire idea is blatantly ridiculous. I love myself, and all the inferiors say, “How can this be? It can’t be true!” so they came up with this cute little theory about Narcissists secretly hating themselves. I find this entire issue laughably incorrect. Just because most people feel inferior (and that’s because they are), doesn’t mean that I “feel” that way “deep down”. I certainly do not. HA HA HA.


So, what do I “feel”? Typically, shallower than average things such as excitement, happiness, amusement, boredom, and the like.

The only emotion I feel with marked intensity is rage. However, it takes quite a lot for me “lose my temper”. If someone angers me, I typically respond with a few “personal attacks” against the person and then my anger dissipates rapidly and I’ll forget about it entirely in all likely hood. I put “personal attacks” in quotes because I do not see it that way, that is how other people see it. I see it as me telling the truth because I know people and how they work despite my incapacity for empathy. I find that the truth is the best weapon when someone calls anything about myself and my character “wrong”, because that is a blatant lie. There is nothing “wrong” with me, how I think/feel, my inner motivations, or how I interact with the outside world based on my inner life. I am superior, and if someone is too stupid to realize that and dares to start lying to my face then of course I will give then an education that will last a lifetime.


A single piece of writing cannot come close to covering everything about how my narcissistic mind works, but this is a response to some commonly asked questions. You’re welcome.

It seems like it could be helpful to people dealing with people whom they believe to be narcissists if they could understand this.

I didn't have full blown narcissism , only traits. I was identified as gifted when I was in kindergarten . I was treated for a nonspecific personality disorder for 7 years.

Understand what?

Problem is our minds are so tangled that when we write EXACTLY what we think people cannot understand. I know that I have written some unedited thoughts and even some Ns had a hard time understanding (except for a small group). We are a complicated bunch.

I know I'm certainly extremely complex, it's part of my charm HA HA HA.

Sorry, I meant Atypical's post, which was very explicit. Of course, other narcissists' minds may be different in some ways.

Which isn't to say that any particular narcissist may, or may not, be different sometime in the future, like any of us.

All sarcasm aside I am too and some find it charming , others, maybe found it unapproachable or crazy or standoffish .

Many people admire me more out of fear, now that I think about it... I am told very often that I'm quite intimidating. I've always thought that a bit strange, as that is not something I do intentionally.

Yes I was told that too but since my narcissism was treated I have to be very careful about referencing the past.

Why do you have to be careful?

You both realize that as much as you come off as intimidating as you may think, in the real world I would win!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Yes, he is that GOOD....

Thank you for your time,
The One who has been Chosen

Figured I'd throw it out there.

Because I don't want to believe what I think anymore and because those are painful memories. I've suffered a lot because of what people have said to me. I'm not proud of my past.

I'm telling you what people told me. I was also told I was intimidating. That's nothing to be proud of. I still have a forceful personality but I have learned to back off especially with weaker people.

What are you proud of, now that you’ve been through therapy?

For me, I believe that personality disorders can be treated and also that they can cause distress to the individual who has them, sooner or later. So, it seems to me the challenge for individuals who have disorders, as well as the general public who seem to think that they are always permanent conditions, is to hear from people who have successfully been through treatment and how their lives are different after treatment.

I'm still working on mine, so I'd like to hear about your experiences, too.

I don't have problems getting along with people anymore, that's one thing I can be proud of.

What do you really "win" though? Control? You developed a mask of having a certain way of getting others to think you are "all that" right? But once you get through that entire loop you just lose interest and go find another because you just can't dive any deeper. It's way too uncomfortable for you to go any deeper, much too vulnerable, that is where the anxiety and anger is, the boundary you just will not let others others cross or see. So you just throw them away right?

Oh, I don't blame any of you, how could I if that is how you had to learn to thrive because of how you were treated by your parents? They abandoned you, so that is what you learned to do too as it gives you a sense of "control" over that loss you struggled with yourself. Well, one can't do something no one showed them "how" to do. That is the mirror, it's you in the picture because no one ever showed you how to see others in order to have that "you" had to be seen that way yourself, which you were not.