General Question...

Long story short: I have an extreme attraction to guys when I'm drunk. However, when I'm sober, it's almost like I don't even want them near me. At all. I've never made out with a guy when I was sober, but when I'm drunk it's like all bets are off and suddenly I'm all over the object of my affection.

Any thoughts??

Well, yes. Alcohol lowers our inhibitions. It makes us do things that we wouldn't ordinarily do. May I ask a couple questions? First, how old are you? Second, have you had any serious relationships in the past? Just to help us get a better feel for the situation. Is there any reason that you aren't ready for a relationship?

Ry

I'm 17, which I suppose sends off some red lights right there, and I've never had a real relationship. Last time I had a 'boyfriend' was my first and only time and I freaked out...I have no idea why. I got so anxious and ended up telling him I just couldn't do it and I was sorry.

There isn't any reason I can think of to not be ready for a relationship. It just bothers me so much how whenever I'm sober, I really have zero interest in guys or wanting to be with one. But then, when I'm drunk? It's like whatever I was keeping pent up inside me comes out. Maybe this is common, maybe not, but I guess thats what I'm asking so I can find out.

Well, I think it has to do with what's going on in your life too. Take my sister for example. She'll be 22 in April. All through high school she never had any interest in guys. This was mainly because when she had an insane dance schedule (both teaching and competing) and spent what little free time she had studying. She's a very pretty girl and had odate offers all the time, but she didn't have the time to date. Now she never was one to get drunk, so I can't say how she would have acted in that situation, but she's just now starting to date at 22. What kind of life do you lead? Are you constantly busy? That might have something to do with it. Just a thought.

Ry

long story short....babe..alcohol makes bad prospects look good....try not drinking and see if you're not more discriminating....love grace

I'm busy, but not insanely busy. I have time for a boyfriend if I wanted one. It just bothers me how I even tried to have a relationship and I still ended up ruining it before it started. Guys mean nothing to me when I'm sober. It's like...if I hook up with a guy earlier in the night when I'm drunk and then a few hours later I'm sober and he comes looking for more I'm not even remotely interested.

I know, it's stupid. I've just been thinking about it lately.

I'm assuming that men are your only interest. Sounds like there may be issues that need resolved if that is the case. Just my opinion/observation. Everybody's got one!

skylrks said it and I agree. I was headed in that direction. Maybe there is an issue that needs to be resolved.

Ry

Yea, it sounds like there are definite issues about guys that need explored. And I hope you don't get drunk too often, we're the same age and not to be chirpy, but it's young. Enjoy being young, save being adult for when you have to be.

My Dad was an %#@&#! who yelled a lot and lost his temper but he never physically or sexually abused any of us.

I guess nothing really bad happened to me involving guys when I was a kid or anything. And I started getting drunk and hooking up when I was 13. Oh to clarify - NOT sex. Everything but. Do you think it makes any difference?

And to make it clear, it's just the sexual aspect I'm not interested in. I can look at guys and be like "He's hot," and like a guy for his personality but...bah, I'm just repeating myself. Thanks everyone for your feedback.

I like hearing people not hooking up for sex. :3 That makes me happy to hear.

The only thing I can think of is something happened to make you not be interested in guys, unless drunk.

Maybe this is a shot into the wind, but the mind is an annoying thing, and I know mines repressed a lot of my childhood, maybe the thing that hurts you is in the back of your mind like that, you know?

It sounds like it bothers you, so you could talk to the school counselor. I don't think they'd do anything about the drunkenness thing, but someone here should verify that.

You know, maybe it's just you're a late bloomer about it. Are you upset by it because society makes it seem like it's normal to be interested in guys right now? Maybe you'll just find the attraction later in life, I don't know.

I'm not sure how to help you, and I'm sorry for that. :< So I hope you'll talk to someone to get to the bottom of it. Don't let it bother you in the mean time, okay?

Yesitsme---I'm 26, and I feel the exact same way. This is the reason I came to the forums actually. But for me, I think it's due to a sexual assult. But aside from that, I'm perfectly happy just being on my own, but if I drink, I get lonely. But only in public. If I'm drinking with the girls, I could care less about guys. I've been hurt though, so that's why I don't give a ___ if I ever meet anyone again. But I understand the feeling completely.

Rayna