Estate Papers.........***May Trigger***

My Mom Mom past away on November 9, 2004. I wont go into to many details right now but basically, today I got the estate papers in the mail for me to sign. They actually came yesterday, on my mom moms birthday but i didnt check the mail. They basically say to sign the papers so that the maney can be disbursed to me and the kids. I just feel depressed about it cause it seems that my mom moms life has been reduced to nothing but money and meaningless paperwork. To make matters worse, they have me listed as the custodian for my three children (which is correct) but also I'm listed as the custodian for my little brother and sister as well. So i cant even sign these papers because there not even correct. I mean, damn it. Couldnt the stupid lawyer even get that right. Now I have to deal with that too. This sucks and I miss my Mom Mom. What gives.

i'm so sorry that you have to go through this now. you have every right to be depressed. can you write the lawyer a note or do you have to call the office? i hope it goes well for you and again, i'm sorry that this is rough to handle. it was for me also, when my mom died.

sorry that you're having to deal with this right now.......i understand......i had to deal with these things when my mom passed away............take things at your own pace....the timing of the papers arrival was lousy........nothing wrong with taking some time to miss mom mom ...the legal stuff will get done sooner or later.....hopee you feel better soon.......julia

I am going through the same thing with my fathers estate right now. He passed in November also.

Each letter is a painfull reminder. Take your own time to grieve your loss. There is no time limit on this.

You have my sympathys for your loss.

take care.

place

Jen, I'm really sorry for your loss. Grieving takes time. When stupid mistakes like that are made, it just seems to compound your feelings. You would've thought they'd be more careful. As if the grieving alone wasn't hard enough and now you have to look into getting the papers corrected, something you sure didn't need to deal with. I know what you mean about her life being reduced to that paper and money. I felt that way when my dad died and he was cremated. It's so hard. take your time to grieve. You know I'm always here for you. Mega hugs sweetie. You're in my heart.

((((((((((((( Jen )))))))))))

(((((FAY)))))

Thank you. I am afraid that I do have to call. Apparently, the executer of the trust (my aunt) wants the disbursement done according to certain takes. Who knows what she is thinking. First she makes the estate papers come on my grandmothers birthday and now she wants the dispersment to come on May 6th, My uncles birthday. he died last March. This is so much for me to handle right now. I had to stay home from work today because I didnt sleep well because I was thinking about this.
I called the lawters office this morning. She said they will make the corrections and mail the corrected copy out today.

((((((JULIA)))))))

Thank you for your kind words. I wish I didnt have to deal with this right now. But, apparently I have a time schedule that needs to be met and I am anxious to get it over with.
I talked to my sister this morning. She said that her papers were incorrect too. I mean WTF is this lawyer getting paid to do?

((((((((place))))))))

I am sorry for your loss. You obviously know how painful this process can be. A reminder everwhere you look. I am not one to greive publicly (sp). I feel that I always have to be the strong one. For my mother, I need to be the rock. She lost her brother and mother with in months or eachother and I feel for her most of all. I cant wait for this ordeal to be over.

(((((AG)))))

Thank you for all the support you have given me with this issue and many others. You are a dear friend and I'm sending mega hugs back atcha.

(((((((((((((((AG)))))))))))))

Hi jmo, I'm sorry for your pain. As for what to do, it sure sounds like you're doing it; somethings really just come down to slogging through the muck on the mundane level.

As for the pain, I can only say I know what you mean. I'm amazed, even years later, when something can come up to bring back the grief. It can be a memento, a forgotten letter, a song or even a smell, and the wound opens in raw fury as though inflicted anew.

On a brighter note, perhaps, I find there is a gift sewn into the lining of grief in that it seems to scour out many things. When I'm in the sobbing of grief, part of me seems to stand beside myself observing dispassionately the "crying of myself" as though by some unseen force. Then I notice that each seizure of sobbing is about something else, possibly not even related to the loss I'm crying "about." It's exhausting and frightening to be so wrung out of tears, and yet, when it has passed, something is better than it was.

I'm sorry for your pain. It sounds like you are very clear though, despite the hurt. Thanks for sharing this. TC.

(((((((((((((((TC))))))))))))))))

Thank you for your post. I love what you have written and find it very beautiful. I will carry your words with me. Thank you for putting things in a more clear perspective.

Take care.

I'm sorry for your loss and pain *hugs*

((((HUGS)))) to all who need this with these issues.

Unfortunately most businesses make mistakes. They aren't to be taken personally...they "just" happen. As for the family member "choosing" to have papers delivered etc on anniversaries, hmmm...maybe that is the only way she can "remember" when? Odd, but could be. Maybe she knew you would be thinking of them anyway, and if the papers came another day, it might cause you to then think? People have their own reasons. Please don't take what anyone else says or does negatively, personally. Not even here what might be misunderstood by another member....

We all grieve in our own way. The important thing is that we DO grieve. Remember that grieving is for US. The person who has passed on is not grieving, and would want us to begin to remember them for the good and fun and all that brings us happiness from their lives, just as soon as we can.

Anniversaries of all kinds brings all kinds of memories.

I replaced my melancholy for my dad on his "date" with a time of smoking his favorite brand of cigar, with my dog at my feet, outside in the shade of a palm tree (he was a nurseryman his last years, and l loved my dog.) I don't smoke, and I'm female to boot... but it brings back good thoughts. When ever I am in the neighborhood of his grave, I go over and "dance" on it a bit. (Must be the Cherokee in me...from his side.)

Please try and be easy on yourselves...grieving is a human process... and... this, too, shall pass.

((((((((((((((((((SPAZZY))))))))))))))))

Thanks for the much needed hugs. Back atcha!!!!

(((((((((SKY)))))))))

Thank you for your post. I never thought of that, about delivering on the anniversaries how she new we would already be thinking of them. I guess I have to stop assuming the worst.

Thank you for sharing your story and memories of your father. I know that grieving takes time. It just hurts.
Thank you again for your post. Take care.

I am bringing this post back because today I finally ended the procrastination and mailed the estate papers back to the lawyer. I feel sad and a little angry for all the family members who called me everyday to see if I had mailed them off.
To me, it's not as simple as they make it out to be. My grandmother died and making this last, final step seems to me that now I must accept that she is actually gone and never coming back. I wish that I had been a better grand daughter to her. I wish I had visited her more. I hope she knew how much I loved her. My last conversation with her was a month before she passed and I will treasure that forever. I miss her. I love her.



BTW. This will tell you how stupid I was. God, I'm dumb. I replied to SQRLB8 as TC. I'm so sorry. Gosh, I'm so sorry.

Jen,

I know this step was hard for you to take. Maybe it is a healing step for you though. I am hoping so anyway.

It's difficult when we feel like we could have/should have done more for those we love. We feel like the chance is gone.

You can be assured your grandmother knows how much you loved her. This just seems to be something that good grandmothers know. They understand the complex lives of their children and grandchildren. They watch from afar with pride and love as we go about our lives. They love us and know that we love them.

In my opinion your grandmother continues to watch from afar with pride and love.

Take care.

place

(((((((((((((((((Place)))))))))))))))))

Thank you. I hope that she is watching me from afar and knows that I did and still do love her.
This was a difficult step for me to take and I am somewhat releived. I still am not ready to fully let go yet.

Thank you for your kind words.

(((Jen)))

You are welcome.

One more thought if I may. You do not have to "let go". I would encourage you in fact to hang on to your memories and love as tight as you can. Hold them in your heart. Let your grandmother's memory live forever in you. Remember the good times and the joy you brought each other. The grief and pain will get less but the love will grow.

Take care.

place