[SleepsWithButterFlies]

your T may be reading the forum? I am. I know mine reads the web. Sometimes, I end up sounding so cryptic but this is why

[LMo]

What would happen if your T found your postings? What are you afraid would happen?

(and no, I don't worry about that. I have no secrets and don't really care if anyone I know reads what I write. In fact, maybe they would understand me better if they did)

[kimmydawn]

hi. yes, i understand. t has actually been here in curiosity. i think only a couple of times. he was pretty interested and impressed.

then i had a question on a specific therapy and i took some of the discussion into him. he loved it! he said, "kim, your friends are so cool!" LOL

i guess i don't worry about it, because he knows about most anything that's here. for years i didn't tell all, and would've been mortified.

be safe,

kd

[Miss_A]

<font color="#000088">It's not my T that I'm worried about but of course my parents. They already know that I go on a forum, because I'm mostly typing all the time. I did tell my T I was on a support forum, but I didn't want to give the name to her because she might likely print a thread out and go through with it with me. When I don't want to talk about it.

If you trust your T you have nothing to worry about. But if you are still worried about him/her reading your posts then you could change your nickname or become Anonymous. Then PM people to say you use to be SleepsWithButterFlies, only if you are happy doing so...

((((((((((((SleepsWithButterFlies))))))))))))))))

[h0kie]

To become Anonymous you have to have your profile deleted (I believe). Then you can no longer post.

Changing user names is an idea though.

I am with LMo. My husband knows I come here and he reads most if not all of what I write. It's lead to some great conversations. His t has no idea we come here though. Do what works for you.

[mrb020377]

I agree
If someone i knew were to come on here, they would understand me a whole lot better.
I share with my husband the things I write on here and it is good for us.

[Perzephone]

I never worry about anything I say on the 'net, be it here or in my 'blogs... or on tribe.net, or even in my profiles. I am who I am, and I will tell someone the same thing to their face that I say behind their back, or online. In a way, not having any parents and a job that doesn't care about its employees personal lives is pretty cool - I am only held accountable to myself. And if I'm ashamed of it, I shouldn't be blabbing it around town...

[Rapunzel]

I don't know why but I think I would be embarrassed if T came here and read my posts. I have mentioned this site to her (quite a bit, actually), and I usually tell her anything significant (although sometimes I've posted here a few weeks before I've felt like telling her something). I think I'm more afraid that my responses to other people here might not be as good as they could be, than anything else. But I don't worry too much about her reading here. I know she is very busy and probably would never have time.

[(JD)]

Not at all. In fact, I gave my T the site, and my s/n. I have also printed off threads from here, to review with him. I do this especially when there's a meltdown... as his viewpoint is highest of all. I am completely honest with my T, as far as what I think I know and hear! Sometimes my filters are pretty clogged up and what I think is being said is not right at all. My T is paid to be my consultant. I go there not to snow him or hide anything from him. That would be like paying an accountant to advise me with my money and not tell him how much money I have!

[inkblot]

I have thought about it. I have again with recent events and I have debated about even telling him that I come here. Actually, even though he knows that I use the internet for "bad"--like in coming up with what I did last night thus leading to the question of me possibly going to a hospital--he also knows that I use it for a type of therapy. Despite what happened yesterday and me reminding him of it, he still highly encouraged me to get online. I think that he was a bit cautious when I reminded him that I use the internet for the bad, too, but he seemed willing to take the chance, that the therapeutic effect could outweigh the negative. Should I ever go into the hospital, I hope my T demands I have internet access! I'll have to question that next time he and I talk, if I could bring my laptop to the hospital with me? I betcha he'd say YES!

[(JD)]

HE might say yes, but I do not know of ANY hospital psych ward that even allows you to have your cell phone, much more a laptop! Good luck with that. And if you could be online in the hospital, why not at home doing the same thing? Wait, why do you have a laptop when you live in your car? Oh?? Did you get a place to live???? I must've missed that!

[inkblot]

Still in my car. The laptop is ANCIENT--the smart dinosaurs used it before me. It was one of the nicest gifts I ever received from my ex--an already-then-out-of-date used laptop! But, it works! I just can't update it any or put new programs on it. I really want to try out and play the Sims, too.

[(JD)]

bummer. ok now I'm confusing myself more... if it's that old, then you aren't using bluetooth technology with a cellular phone... where are you when you're posting (you don't have to say, ya know ) Anyway, my point is, if you're going to be distracting yourself online anyway, why go to hospital?

[inkblot]

My cell phone doesn't have bluetooth, but I have GPRS inernet on my cell phone. I can also use another cell phone I have for dial-up internet if I swith the sim card. I don't have a data cable yet for my newer cell phone. Normally I go online at the library on their computers. Once in a while I will use wi-fi. Last weekend at the motel I got out a hi-speed internet cable and hooked up to the hotel internet service. Hey, whatever works. I still have GOT to talk to my T more about what would happen at a hospital for future reference, though. I gotta have internet! I would also want to have a better idea of what to expect--completely. I can't wait till Monday night!

[(JD)]

kewl. Yes, I recal the high speed at the hotel... did you notice a big difference? Hospital isn't but for stablization. . . . it's not a hotel experience even, ya know? You see T Monday night?

Back on topic... what would you NOT have said all this time, if you knew T was reading? And suppose he has been reading, and listening to you in session... what would you change? You don't have to answer, you know that. I care ((((Inky))))) mainly to help you think more about this stuff.

[inkblot]

I am pretty honest with my T, so it wouldn't be that big of a deal. BUT! Sometimes I can be embarrassed by certain things I should tell him, so I might be more vague. I did that to him last night on the phone when he asked what I took. I just told him, uh, um, OTC's. I did eventually tell him in (yet another) voice mail this morning what it specifically was that I took, and that "it wasn't bad". The fact that I wouldn't tell him last night was part of the reason why he mentioned the hospital. Plus like any psychologist, as DocJohn has said of himself many times, they don't know medications. It's so much easier for me to write to my T, I think it wouldn't be much different if he read what I wrote on here. I'm just not sure I'd want him telling me that he read what I wrote... But then, just in case, maybe I should tell the world how much I love my T, and how sweet and caring and what a great T personality, and how lucky I am to have him and work well with him!

[LadyDragus]

both of mine read this and my LJ, and I enjoy there feed back on it. you know why, it helps them to help me better, for some days I can not keep up on all the things that happen in my life, and it also let s them in on my private life and lets them see a side of me that no one else gets to see the online side of my life, the Lady Dragus side,
THe one that helps others and the one who is always there for you, and ohters.
so I do not care if they see it, plus it also lets them see when I am really down and do not have the "nerve" to call them or strengh to call them and they can ask me why, and I can say I di not think it was worht your time but I got thoguth it, and they can say I am proud of you for doing that.

[Fuzzybear]

Yes I often am cryptic and I will probably stay that way ..... out of choice..... at least until I learn consistently better communication skills even under "attack" I have no T at the moment though

Take care,
Fuzzy

[hereiam]

Im often afraid friends or family will find out that I post on this forum, and therefore keep a low profile and do not let many others know real information about me. I never really thought about my T reading it...although, I don't have a T anymore, so it wouldn't matter. But even if I did and my T did read these - I doubt she'd know it was me because I keep it so cryptic.

[dayzee9]

The only time I'm afraid to say too much "in here" is because when I do, I have the worst problem "saying what's on my mind" in an unacceptable manner...yep,NOT ONLY do I put my big foot in my mouth but you know what I mean, yes.........I clean, clip and polish my toe nails while I'm at it!!!

My T lives on his laptop & he's quite aware that I "subscribe" to this web site...he takes it quite good if I actually get something out of it! He would never invade my "private spaces' The only thing he reads is our journal entries when I bring them in so you knows better what's going on w/ us........

If I found out that my T was "looking where he has no right to be" I'd drop kick his *** into the next millenium! Unacceptable!

Paece to All Who Enter Here.........DAYZEE9

[neri]

Well obviously not afraid here, but in the fin forum yes. Also my T wanted to read my livejournal, and i think that would be too creepy.

[(JD)]

Yeah dayzee my T has much more important things to do than come here to see what I might be posting! We do therapy in session.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I am catching up...OK what I would mind about it would be the intrusiveness...It would be like my going and reading his mail at home while he was at work,,,I do not PAY him to come here and read up on what I say...I have shared posts from another site I use to belong to and I CHOSE what to share..It to me would feel so....sneaky...Now if he asked me that would be different..I don't think i say much in here that would be of a shock to him....or surprise...maybe my fears and all on his hating me but I have said that to him too. My T spends a lot of personal time on the puter I would not doubt he would look at these kind of sites to gain insight in general...not looking for me lol.....but man if he saw some of my old threads on another site...he would blush

[(JD)]

Yes, I think we would all feel that way, if the T was "stalking"us so=to=speak... just like, if the T knows we would be embarrassed by his/her greeting us in public, then we don't want him to (and to treat us like any other stranger in line, at the store etc.) But, I'm not holding anything back from my T... it isn't easy in one sense... but it's the best for me... I want to get through with therapy and it's going so slowly already, I sure don't wish to make it longer by holding back. It it can be shortened by his reading my stuff here, let it happen!

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Yeah exactly like stalking I would not like that...I am pretty honest IF asked or on things I have come up..but to be spied on would do me in and since he mentioned that on his reading web sites..I have become uncomfortable..Now if he said can you print me some of the hard to say or you haven't said stuff I could and would do that...I rather like therapy when I am not all goofy as you know by now Sky lol..
I saw Pdoc of mine once in a mall I owned her cash and died lol when I was walking with bags of Victorias Secret stuff..she knows not cheap but she did a small wave and was cool