Customers and Customer Service

My son went to the AT&T store to upgrade his phone. There were quite a few people in the store at the time. A woman was yelling at the clerk over some problem with her bill, demanding that he fix something he didn't have the authority to fix. As she became more rude, she hesitated and asked about his race. She said "Are you Italian?" He said "No." She said "You're MEXICAN aren't you!! G**D****d Mexicans can't do ANYTHING right!" She then proceeded to really talk down to the clerk. The clerk remained calm through the entire ordeal, trying to focus her back onto her bill.

While the woman was verbally brutalizing the clerk, the people in the store just stood by and watched. My son finally walked up to the woman and said "Lady, the problem with your bill has NOTHING to do with him, the color of his skin, OR his nationality."

After she left, my son told the clerk "Dude, that was an AMAZING display of composure." The clerk, also a college student, was very grateful to him. They both knew he would be fired if he dared to defend himself against her hateful attacks.

I'm proud of my son for speaking up to the woman and consoling the clerk afterward. I'm disappointed in the other people present who thought it was funny and remained silent. I'm angry at the woman for her hateful rudeness. I HOPE we cross paths one day. If we do, what do you think I should say and/or do to teach her the basics of humanity?

OMG i can't believe people would actually do that! I mean, OMG

Greetings,

When it comes to customer service, I always keep in my an old, yet still pretty famous saying: " The customer is always right. " Though, as a customer, I also keep in mind that abusing such a motto, is not right either. Therefore, I am always respectful at all times.

Have a good one.

"The customer is always right". My arch nemesis. :P

Really though, sometimes the customer is just plain out wrong. When I worked at a dollar store in the city, people would whip that phrase out for every old thing! Even if they could not possibly be more wrong. I love providing excellent customer service, but I can not bend the fabric of space and time in order to make some people correct. lol

For example, I used to get people in the store and they would ask for a product that we have never sold. (Car tires, most notably. Who would buy car tires from a dollar store?!) I would tell them "I'm sorry, but we do not sell that product." If I could, I would recommend another store that carries what they are looking for or recommend a similar product that we do carry. Usually it was fine and it ended there.

Every once and awhile, we'd get someone who insisted that we DO in fact sell that product and I should look for it "in the back". We did not have storage in the store. It was a very small store and all our purchases went directly out onto the shelves. Plus, all the stock was put out by me because I was the stock manager so I saw everything that store ever had. I would tell them that we don't have any storage and they would call me a liar and ask to speak to my boss. When confronted with the same answers from him, they would usually storm out of the store, cursing, swearing never to return again!

Sometimes, there's really nothing we can do.

I loved working at that store. It had such a great community feel and so many of the customers were little old ladies who were there several times a week. I always knew what they were there for and when the salespeople came in to get us to sell their wares, it made me so happy to find items that I knew the customers were asking after. It felt like we were all working together to make everyone happy!

But every once and awhile, someone really angry and demanding would come in and just ruin everybody's day. If someone aggressive like that comes in, it really is better just to lose them as a customer than to try and keep them around. All the yelling always scared the little old ladies and made them feel unsafe. Safety was so important in our shop.

Thanks

I think some people believe being assertive means to be mean and condescending. They think "freedom of speech" entitles them to verbally abuse other people They don't understand and don't consider the consequences of their words and behavior. They live in a bubble.

What gets me about this incident is the bigoted personal attack against the clerk. An attack like that hits to the core. Having to endure such abuse on a daily basis, never knowing when it's going to strike, really wears on a person's soul. At this point in time, certain groups are fair game because many political and religious leaders have given them an evil label. Everyone else just stands by and watches the show.

I've spent over 50 years listening to racial and ethnic bigotry, and my cup overflowed long ago. It serves absolutely no one, and needs to stop.

Kathy, I think you are jumping to a conclusion here. My guess is that other people remained silent because they were afraid -- not because they thought it was "funny".

Quote:

I'm angry at the woman for her hateful rudeness. I HOPE we cross paths one day. If we do, what do you think I should say and/or do to teach her the basics of humanity?

Maybe you could have as much composure as your son and the clerk did, and realize that this woman is probably stressed by something in her life beyond her capacity to deal with it, and that is why she blew up the way she did.

As to what you "should" do -- remonstrate with her in the gentlest but very determined way, if you can manage that.

Not easy to do, is it?

The other woman was horribly rude in her anger and misunderstanding that the clerk in the store could not help her. However, what I disliked most about her tirade was the volume of it, not what she said? What she said was equivalent to me of "Your mother wears combat boots"; it didn't apply to the clerk himself, Italians or Mexicans; had I been there, it would have been embarrassing to me because of how ignorant and prejudiced the woman was and she didn't even know it; it's like when you see someone with snot on their nose or spinach on their teeth and they're not aware. But the volume would get me and would have made me angry. I would have reminded the woman that her ignorance and rude expressions of her prejudice were not my problem and I didn't wish to hear about them and would she like me to get a Mall security officer to help her out of the store or could she find the door herself!

Hi Pachyderm

No, it's not easy.

My husband became friends with a neighbor at the park while they were with their dogs. He sounded like the kind of friend my husband needed in this neighborhood, so I was happy. Everything was a perfect fit, with the exception of the man's overwhelming hatred for black people. He couldn't go one night without saying something horrible about them.

He invited me to meet his friend, but warned me about some of the conversation. Out of respect for my husband, I was cordial - but I SOOOOOO wanted to strangle his friend at times. As the days went by, I tried to counter his disparaging remarks or gently point out the hypocrisy in his words. It grew sooooo tiresome.

One day the man came over to our house to return something he'd borrowed from my husband. We weren't home, so my son (half-black) answered the door.

We met him at the park that night and he told us he stopped by and met our son. Knowing he was from my first marriage, he asked "What is he?" When I told him he was black, I could see the wheels turning in his head - thinking about all the horrible things he had said to us about our son.

we try to give customers what they want and always do our best to be civil and polite and above and beyond service but if they are rude and wrong than that old "the customer is always right" has to go out the window.

Depends on how you mean "the customer is always right". If you mean the customer always has to be respected, even when they are "wrong", then this can be a correct policy (I think).

Unfortunately in the last couple of decades manners and professional courtesy have gone out the window. I listen to my younger collegues talk to business contacts on the phone, and many of them sound very unprofessional.

I blame in part our need for instant gratification, which has been made worse by technology, for the way people act sometimes in public.

Kathy, your son handled himself with dignity and great restraint, he is more of what we need in this society, so a round of applause is in order.

Hi Perna

Her tirade DID apply to the clerk himself because he was of Mexican heritage. It also applied to his mother and all his friends and relatives. It's much worse than saying "You (or your mother) wear combat boots." It's like saying "You are an inadequate human being and do not deserve to exist - a stain on the earth, an unwanted "alien" to be destroyed."

If people personally insulted you in such a way on a daily basis, what would you do and what would you expect from the spectators around you?

Not only did it insult the clerk, it insulted my son. My husband, his father, is of Mexican heritage. He loves his father VERY much. If she ever dared to get in his face with such an attitude, I suspect she'd be in for some serious consequences. He's had his fill of bigotry too. Would it have been better for the clerk and my son if she had whispered this to them?

For the health and welfare of the business, it might be a correct policy - but what if Bridgie had used the word "bully" instead of "customer?" Why should an abusive bully be respected, and how would you teach this lesson to children?

The woman was WRONG in what she did but maybe there are things going on in her life that we don't know about. Maybe her mother is dying of cancer, her husband just left her, her car broke down on her on the way there and there wasn't any toothpaste in the tube when went to use it this morning. Maybe she was just having a bad day. Maybe under normal circumstances she is a very delightful person but that day she chose to not be delightful and respectful.

What your son did is AWESOME!! I am very glad he stook up for the little people and helped the clerk out.

But trying to figure out what mean things to say to her if you would see her again, I guess I would try to figure out what nice things to say to her to help her in her situation.

Jan

I'm sure that was the case, but what gives a person the right to attack people of color, homosexuals, etc., simply because they are having a bad day? Why is it excusable to use these groups as punching bags whenever desired? I'm pretty sure she'd be able to turn on the charm and be delightful and respectful on a normal day, but I'd still want nothing to do with her if that's what she looks like on a bad day - or behind closed doors.

Thank you.

She inadvertently insulted me as well, even though I was not there, and it made me absolutely furious. What has she done that would make me want to ease her pain instead of my own? Why should I try to help her in her situation when my situation is probably much worse?

I would have been one of those who remained silent, but I don't think it's funny. I bet most people who remained silent did NOT think it was funny. I would have been terrified. I can't handle anger and hostility. This person sounds unbalanced. I probably would have left the store. I always counsel my daughters to not lose their cool in situations like that and to remove themselves from the situation when angry and irrational folks are letting loose. Who knows, they could whip out a pistol and start firing, in road rage fashion. I had a friend shot in a road rage incident so I take the angry folks very seriously and give them a wide berth, for safety's sake, and also because of my own fear of the angry and the hostile. If I had been the clerk, I probably would have said excuse me and gone into the back room and called the mall security and not come back out until the person was gone. With no one to yell at, possibly the angry woman would have soon left, or if she hung around, hopefully security would arrive quickly and remove her. I don't believe the job description includes being the object of rage, and concern for safety would prompt me to vacate. Call me a coward, but at least I'm still alive.

There is no right. But how to handle the situation when it comes up? I think sunrise has some relevant ideas.

That which is ignorant or untrue and we know it to be ignorant or untrue doesn't matter! One always has to weigh what one hears and judge whether it is true and helpful or not true or not helpful, etc. The lady was so far off the mark about what "Mexican" might mean (especially to anyone of that heritage) that it is obviously spewed filth, not truth or enlightenment or something anyone ever wants to use for themselves. One can't change the woman's point of view; she hates "Mexicans" but one can see she is horribly ignorant about what "Mexican" is and has had a bad experience and painted all in a group as if that were all there were to the group. The lady is entitled to her opinion, she just cannot express it, loudly, around me. I do not think the clerk would get fired for getting security to "help" the woman out of the store, only for being as verbally rude to her as she was to him. No one has to put up with verbal abuse in their job; it gets passed to a supervisor or one calls security; it's harassment and that's against the law.

I have first hand knowledge of bullies and bigots.These are the quotes I carry with me as reference and protection from those people.

'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.
- Nick Diamos

I've had many jobs in the customer service field, most of them were call center, and I spoke to alot of irritated/disgusted people on the phone. I don't care how bad of a day someone has, it gives them NO RIGHT to be abusive in any way to anyone. I've had people threaten me that they would call the police, imagine that. Now what the heck can the police do? They just shouted things to me on the phone, not even taking a second to listen to me at all. I would end the call. I'm not going to put up with that. Of course we are trained to deal with those kind of people on the phone. They're were scripts on the computer we had to follow, but sometimes with people that were really abusive, you had to think on your own in how to calm them down. I used to work with a lot of young people also, in reference to what Tim said earlier, and most of them did NOT know how to handle any call. They had a "I don't give a crap attitude". Some of them were absolutely awful sounding on the phone, not professional at all, and those are the ones that get hired. Hmmm I don't miss that kind of work at all.

The store was located in a small strip mall, so there was no security. It's quite possible the clerk was there by himself. If he had abandoned the store, the other customers would have become furious, and he would have been fired.

If all the customers had decided to exit the store, it would have left the clerk alone with that woman. From my own experience, that's when a situation can escalate. If she would have had a gun and decided to take it to the next level, he would have had no way of defending himself.

It wouldn't have helped him to call the police anyway. Many of them hold the same view as that woman, only they don't always call them Mexicans. They sometimes refer to them as "bad elements" and "suspects." People don't complain when the police profile and stereotype them in this manner. Their excuse is "better safe than sorry." Besides, many of them believe Mexicans are "stealing" our jobs and would like to see that clerk fired.

I realize these people have the freedom of speech to call them "bad elements" and a right to their opinion, but of what purpose does such behavior serve? It entitles them to use them as scapegoats and believe they can do anything they want to them.

I believe this bigotry and so-called entitlement gave those students at Rutgers University the go-ahead to invade the space of their homosexual roommate. They knew it was wrong, but they felt entitled to secretly film his romantic encounter and feed it live on the web - humiliating the young man into suicide.

What if the clerk was having a bad day too and couldn't take the humiliation any longer? How would people defend this woman's viewpoints and right to free speech? What would they say about the clerk, and what would they say to the clerk's family?

How should people like this clerk and student at Rutgers identify and avoid bigoted people who know how to hide behind a "delightful and respectful" appearance and have the support of the local community? For safety sake, should these children avoid working, going to school, or being out in public for the rest of their lives? How would this be considered "raising" a child? Why would the quality of life for the bigot be more important than the quality of life for the child?

(((((((((((((((((((((KathyM)))))))))))))))))))))))) It sounds like you were very triggered from this incident. I'm so sorry. I hope things will calm soon. Please take gentle care. Maybe you can do something soothing.

I don't mean to treat them horribly or anything but by wrong I mean being really mean and rude at that point we usually would rather have them out of the store not making everyone feel bad causing scenes for (usually)no good reasons. If they have good reasons to be upset we try to resolve the issues as good as we can but they still don't have the right to treat us as though we are lower than human. That's where the wrong comes in.

Hi Bridgie

It appears to me your definition would still apply if you had substituted the word "customer" with "bully."

Good luck with the interview!

yea, when they reach a certain point bully would fit. i feel that even if someone has abad day, which is very possible, they still dont have the right to treat people badly. just not right.

(thanx for the luck Kathy)