I Am Angry

Twinks,
I agree. Captain K. was actually a positive force in my childhood too. I am not sure why I chose him as an example, but I do feel a bit depressed thinking back to that time, as if I was watching captain k at 'the beginning of all the crap' in my life. strange.

I have had my moments of anger too. My life was based on assumptions which proved not to be true. My first reaction was "why me?" Life is so unfair. I also wanted out of the unbearable conditions I found myself in.

When first I attempted suicide, my spirits lifted. I had a plan and some control. Last year, as my life spun out of control, I decided to let go again. I picked out a bridge to make it look like an accident so my life insurance premium would go to my parents.

But then, I realised I was lucky to be alive. Most potential births never happen. We who live today have won a fantastic lottery. Being angry didn't change anything. My life was crumbling anger or not. I'm still angry at the unfairness of it all, but if the hurricane victims and others can rebuild from nothing, so can I. Sorry, I don't have any advice besides support.

Please don't give up. Life may be crummy, but you can still make something better from it. And you can help others.

Ten years down the road may look much different from today,.

j, i took my childhood as an example that i didn't want my children to have. the fights, the abuse, the cussing, etc. that was the only way i can deal with what went on back then. i pride myself on how differently i turned out...i'm not perfect, but at least my life isn't like theirs was. and i didn't abuse my children and put them down constantly. hang on, you'll get through this. love, pat