[BoogyMan]

I hate Christmas. Everything about it.

1.) That selfish parents set their kids up for later disappointment so that they "can see the look of wonder in their face." So they admit it's for them {the parent} but get offended when you point that out. It is not. It is so you can see that look in your childs face. And, no mater how slight that disapointment is later, you are still causing emotional harm in your child for your own enjoyment. IT IS SICK! Might as well molest them. A matter of degree, only.

2.) That it is little more than an engineered excuse for corporations and rich people to get richer. By creating the obligation of the gift exchange.

3.) That it creates greedy little snot nosed pukes who scream: "Me! ME! MEEEE!" for damn near a month straight.

I could go on, but I've made my point. Any one else agree?

[thine_self_untrue]

I am not very fond of Christmas either, to be honest. It's just hard for me in that I am expected to be cheery, together and ready to celebrate. That doesn't always happen for Thine.
I agree with a lot of what you said...
I agree that many parents set their kids up for disappointment.
I agree that gift giving is often just a way for the rich to get richer.
And I agree that spoiled kids like to talk about thier favorite person even more than usual this time of year.
BUT for some people, it's about faith, love and family. You have to stand behind that, right? People get confused, things get confused and issues get confused. Human beings are a long ways from perfect.
But maybe if we could focus on the good things about Christmas, on the reasons worth celebrating, there would be at least two fewer people spoiling their children, stroking their egos and making rich companies richer.
I get what your ranting against. Really. But to me that's not Christmas. Not what it's supposed to be anyway. That's the crap. Does the crap get to be Christmas or can we have something else in spite of the crap?

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by BoogyMan

I hate Christmas. Everything about it.

1.) That selfish parents set their kids up for later disappointment so that they "can see the look of wonder in their face." So they admit it's for them {the parent} but get offended when you point that out. It is not. It is so you can see that look in your childs face. And, no mater how slight that disapointment is later, you are still causing emotional harm in your child for your own enjoyment. IT IS SICK! Might as well molest them. A matter of degree, only.

2.) That it is little more than an engineered excuse for corporations and rich people to get richer. By creating the obligation of the gift exchange.

3.) That it creates greedy little snot nosed pukes who scream: "Me! ME! MEEEE!" for damn near a month straight.

I could go on, but I've made my point. Any one else agree?

I hate Christmas for totally differant reasons. I miss my mom. She has been gone for 7 ys now but I miss standing in her kitchen helping her bake and cook for 2 straight days before Christmas Eve. All my aunts and female cousins would come. It was like a sleepover.
As far as setting my sons up for disappointment by giving them the one day where they can get a preasent, I don't see it that way. All year long, we don't get them anything. Zip. We save it for Christmas. And I am the first to say, yeah it makes me happy to see my boys happy And no I'm not offended when someone says that. I remember the Christmas after I lost my mom, my youngest was 19 months old and near death in the oncology ward of Kosair. He was so sick, he didn't even cry anymore when they stuck him. It had been days since he laughed. Then on Chistmas night, the nurse came around the ward with a cart of toys called 'Jared's Cart'. She handed my baby a school bus to that lit up and played music. He let out a laugh and my husband and I cried because for the first time in weeks my baby looked alive and did'nt mind the bars of that crib/cage. And believe me when I say, my boys are not "Me! Me! MEEE!" during the holidays. The only thing the youngest has asked for is the new Diary of a Wimpy kid book. The oldest a unicorn(lol he's cute) pillow pet. As a matter of fact they've been saving pennies in an egg shaped trinket box to give to Santa for being so nice my boys they got $2.63 so far....

[KathyM]

I don't like it either. My parents were frugal - focused on needs, not wants. Toys and luxury items weren't even on the radar. My father justified this by saying the goal is to teach children how to live, not how to become spoiled. Fantasy teaches you nothing about the real world.

As a kid, my sister and I got one present each for Christmas - a new item of clothing, either a coat or a sweater. Mom's focus wasn't on fashion, it was on finding something "sturdy" that would be big enough to last into the next year. My father was raised on a farm and had to quit school as a kid to support the family, then he went off to fight in WWII.

I DREADED going back to school after Christmas. Everyone got to say what they got for Christmas and all the fun they had playing with their toys. They all got what they wanted, and then some. When it came to me, I had to point out the ugly sweater everyone had been teasing me about earlier. The whole classroom roared with laughter.

When my son was a toddler, I went all out on Christmas. Yep - it felt good to see his face light up at all the packages. After he finished opening everything, he turned to me and said "Mommy, where is your present - you weren't good this year? I thought I had it all covered - forgot to get myself something.

When my son found out about Santa, he was SO MAD at me for lying to him. I fessed up to being selfish and pretending to be Santa. What angered him the most was he knew we were struggling financially - it made him feel selfish for asking us to do without in order to provide him with toys.

Now we can barely afford to keep our house warm and food on the table, so it's particularly difficult to see all the greed, gluttony and garbage this holiday brings forth.

You can buy just as nice presents second hand, you can make your own cakes sweets etc with the children to make it fun.

We do all this and my children are not spoiled but love Christmas so do I.

[Skully]

I used to love Christmas because it was a time for family to get together and we never fought. But my mom died 5 years ago and that just left me, my brother, and my dad. I am not close to my brother or my dad. So the family just sort of fell apart. I hate Christmas not because I usually have to spend the day alone. To me it is now just another day of the year.

Sorry to hear that Skully, however ! You will be pleased to hear that people (lots of them) come onto psychcentral during Christmas day so you will have someone to talk to !

[Melbadaze]

xmas doesn't have to be what other people do or did...you can find your own way of "being" with it....perhaps if you treat like the pagans did?

[venusss]

i call it Chinamass or Spendmass. Does it say enough about what i think of this holiday? I live in one of the most secular countries in the world, yet each December we go gaga. Banks urgue us to get a loan so we can give our family and friends stuff they don't need. It drives me crazy, especially when the situation in the world... my country is on brink of bankrupcy and yet one is supposed to get LOAN?

[lonegael]

To be honest, I buy and hide things for Christmas months in advance, and no, the kids don't get gifts all year around. When we were financially strapped, my oldest used to come to us with his wish list and ask if things on it cost too much. He got a lot of hand me downs, a lot of second hand stuff, and most of it was still good stuff. Now, yeah, I still get looked at funny by some filks, because when I get my oldest birthday and christmas stuff, it's not alot, but it's the best I can afford. Better that then the cart loads of cheap crap that will go to pieces and be out of style before the season is out. My income is way too uncertain for that.
You don't have to sell out to enjoy the season. It's a lot harder when you don't, but not impossible, and thank good, our son has never been into fads or that type of thing. We do a LOT of baking, a LOT of listening to old Chrismas CD's, a LOT of crafting, a LOT of church stuff. It helps not living in town. And NO. Wrecking yourself to buy presents is NOT proof of true love. I agree with you Venus.
I've written this before, but when the Vikings used to celebrate Yule, they used to talk about people eating themselves to death at the feasts where you'd try to get rid of whatever wouldn't keep over winter. Sounds like it's not quite Christmas we're celebrating in every case nowadays.

Good posting Lonegael, I totally agree.

[anna342]

As a teenager I began to hate christmas, until one year I was very ill and in hospital until christmas eve. The missing out on putting up decorations, wrapping and shopping for presents and being around the people I love at home made me realise how much I do like it. I was only able to be with my family on christmas day for limited time that year too because of the recovery from surgery making me exhausted, in pain and unable to focus due to painkillers.

For me christmas is only special because of what it means to me, which are the things I mentioned above. We have no young children in my family, so I guess I don't see that side of it. But in my family the expense of presents is irrelavent to the kind of few days we have. Yes some money is needed to pay for food and stuff, but even if we did it on a tight budget it wouldn't matter, christmas is more about being together for a few days (which rarely happens thoughout the year otherwise), enjoying some nice food and giving each other presents we know each other will love. Our presents are more about thought and the fact someone has gone to the effort to find something person for each other.

i grew up in a household where my mother would get depressed every Christmas and throw temper tantrums, curse you out and say some of the most awful things; dad would drink too much and make it some sort of a joke party. nonetheless, Christmas brings something very special because me and my brothers always found magic in the holiday - my cheap parents had to actually buy us something and, for once, we were children. dad was, at least, well-intentioned; the slack from mom was picked up by her mother and sister, whose cooking made it a family holiday and celebratory.

there is something very peaceful about the holiday. it's not what others make it; it's what you make it. the light of day is shortest and, if you're in a northern climate, it's cold. but, there is a spirit of warmth. yes, commercialism seems to have corrupted this holiday. but, if you buy modest but thoughtful gifts, you will get through it just fine on a budget. it's a great time to build happy or sad memories. but, it's what you make it. my Christmases were far from perfect but, regardless of what was missing, they are still fondly and warmly remembered.

today i called my mother. she said, "i am so depressed; i've been crying. i hate Christmas. i hate the holidays." my response? "so, what else is new?" in the darkness of winter, Christmas still brings the hope that happiness exists, if only for a fleeting day. it's a bulletproof holiday that my mom can't ruin, no matter how hard she tries.

[Andie1962]

Originally Posted by BoogyMan

I hate Christmas. Everything about it.

1.) That selfish parents set their kids up for later disappointment so that they "can see the look of wonder in their face." So they admit it's for them {the parent} but get offended when you point that out. It is not. It is so you can see that look in your childs face. And, no mater how slight that disapointment is later, you are still causing emotional harm in your child for your own enjoyment. IT IS SICK! Might as well molest them. A matter of degree, only.

2.) That it is little more than an engineered excuse for corporations and rich people to get richer. By creating the obligation of the gift exchange.

3.) That it creates greedy little snot nosed pukes who scream: "Me! ME! MEEEE!" for damn near a month straight.

I could go on, but I've made my point. Any one else agree?

I agree, except for the molestation comment. The horror of child molestation does not compare with dissapointing the children.

[hayward]

I love Christmas these days, because I have finally come to terms with the fact that I can make it anything I want it to be. I can turn off the commercials, I can avoid the mall. I can give presents, or not. (My children are older, but I still enjoy that part simplified.) In my opinion, simplicity is the key. Not filling up your plate, just saying no when you want to.

I enjoy the lights and the colors and the peace at my house. The smell of some baking. I am accepting that it's okay that I have chosen not to have many friends, that i like making simple decisions. And I don't get into trying to "fix" other peoples views of the holiday.

Believe me, I am going through lots of personal crap- lifelong depression, family stuff and all of that. But we have choices about this holiday. You can choose to let the past events that you cannot change continue to ruin things for you now and in the future. Or you can take away their power and take charge of what you can change.

I am not saying this is easy at all. But if the holiday and all its trimmings are making you crazy, then make a list of these things- pick a few that you can work on getting rid of. It can be very satisfying and empowering. Erase things completely, or replace them with a simpler choice. And if you can't do that, at least take some time to just simply get out of your own head for a minute, and do something for someone else. We all know how good that feels.

[lonegael]

Hayward, Very thought provoking. Thanks!

[(JD)]

[Hunny]

Stringing together a few words is all I am able to say presently:

Stars....Snow....Light....Angel....Life....Light....Gift....Good....Baby....Gloria....Demarcation


.

[sunsetsunrise]

I used to love love love christmas. It didn't matter to me that I had no closeness with family. It didnt matter to me that I had no loved ones. I would decorate the inside of my home with 10 trees ( 3 feet to 7 feet tall). All with clear lights and either hand made ornaments or silk type flowers. And that was just the beginning. I tried my best to create my own warmth and love. I loved the holiday season.

But in recent years, things got much harder for me and christmas became too painful. I love and adore children. So I love the wonder of miracles that chidlren hopefully feel. But the holiday season has become a time when i no longer am facile at overriding the feeling of no family and loved ones. The aloneness I always feel is increased during this time. I used to cook delicious food. But my body can no longer tolerate that. So the holiday season has been a time of "survival mode" To just figure out a way to make it through another day. I used to love to give. But now I do not have the ability to do that, on many levels.

I do feel saddened that Christmas season is used by corporations to almost program good people into spending spending spending. I guess my heart just longs for the true meaning of christmas. Love. I am sorry this post is sad. Usually I refrain from posting very sad things at pc.

[Leed]

I never liked Christmas ~ even as a child, I disliked Christmas, cause my parents were always hung over from Christmas eve, which is REALLY when we celebrated christmas -- and we had to wait for our folks to come home from their partying to celebrate and they'd always be drunk.

Christmas is just depressing to me not just because of my childhood, but because I always feel my gifts are inadequate =-- and they usually are. No one gives me ideas as to what they want - I listen all year long for ideas. My kids are grown, and they are impossible to buy for. My granddaughter who is 15 is just as hard to buy for because she has just about everything she ever wanted. And I just don't have the money to spend anymore. Thru the years, my kids have needed genuine help so I've helped them -- but now I find that I can't afford much for Christmas this particular year.

Like Sunsetsunrise said - it's too darn commercial. It's too depressing. I'm going on strike!

[lonegael]

Leed, good for you. If theydon't play fair and rub your face in it, find some way to make the time work for you. It's not about giving them a chance to play "read my mind so I can make you feel like a fool. It's a time for peace. time to make some for yourself if they won't be a part. You've done your best. You don't have to wait for anyone else any more.

(((((((((((((Sunsetsunrise)))))))))))) I am a stranger, and I know that is no substitute for a family, but I wish I could lift you out of being alone and bring you into our house and let you listen to the music and put up with the chaos and the preparations here for as long as you can stand it, up through Christmas and beyond. This is a hard time of year, even without the holidays, cold and dark, in the old times, lean as well. No one should be alone to face it. My heart goes out to you. HUGGGGSSS

[with or without you]

I hate Xmas too. 9 years ago, my father got very sick the day after Christmas...turned out it was a brain tumor (glioblastoma, the same thing Ted Kennedy died from). By the following August, he was dead. Christmas brings up very real and palpable feelings of grief for me, because I think it is, at heart, a "child's" holiday. All of us, grieving or not, think of Christmas and we immediately get transported back to that time when we were children, waking up our parents on that morning, opening presents, etc. And it's just really, really hard to have those memories knowing one of my parents is not here anymore.

I do not decorate at all for Xmas (I live alone) and do not really listen to any Xmas music. However, I love giving other people gifts and sending cards. But that's where it ends. They can do their thing, and I'll do mine.

[MissingMyOldSelf]

I love the idea behind Christmas, which is spending time with friends and family and celebrating faith, but I hate the gift giving part. My husband is laid off, and it's just me with a single income and this year has been rough enough... now I have to magically find a lot of money for gifts for my husband's nephews who are greedy little $ hits. I'm just very thankful that I have a lot of friends and family who know that I'm struggling, and they don't expect gifts.

I miss being young, and going to Church on Christmas eve with my family, sitting next to my mom, who had a lot of health problems, and just laying my head on her shoulder, smelling her perfume (Le Jardin... I buy it for myself but only wear it on special occasions), and listening to her sing Christmas carols. THAT is Christmas to me. But since I've been with my husband, I have YET to go back to church on Christmas eve. I've told him that I miss it, but I don't complain that I WANT to do it, and not drive 4 hours to see his sister and her family....

I think I dislike Christmas because I never get to do what I want to do for Christmas -- stay at home; relax; build a fire; lay on the couch; and sometime during the day, visit my Mom's grave and tell her Merry Christmas. Nowadays, I have to put on a happy face, give in to the commercialism and go buy gifts for kids who won't play with the toys past the first 3 hours of opening it, and pretty much be 100% fake.

I wonder if I can double up on my celexa this year.....

[Yoda]

We buried my stepdad on Christmas eve so I always feel the loss despite sparkling trees and celebration. I wish he could have seen my son grow up.

[Tash35]

I don't have a big family at all...so Christmas has been hard for me emotionally when I see the commercialism of it. But I manage to cope with Christmas by developing traditions with me and my mother. We go shopping the day before Christmas and pick out the things we like. We go for lunch and make Santa Clause lists of what we saw that we liked. Then we split up for an hour and buy each other the gifts that we know each other will like. It is never the point of the "buying" or the "gifts". It is about the laughter, the time spent together and the tradition that I love. Then Christmas Eve, we watch the Christmas Carol for the 35th time... That is Christmas to me. Love, tradition and connection...revisiting what is really important.