Really sad over my 4 week block

I'm really sad about being blocked from posting for 4 weeks at another online support forum. I just realized this today as I thought about it and started to cry.

Four weeks is a really long time and next time it will be for 8 weeks. I don't know how I'm going to survive this. I feel really sad right now. I wish I could turn back time. There is not much in life for me that brings me joy. Posting over there made me happy. Now I cannot do that for another 3 weeks.

I don't know what to do. I feel really sad.

((((((((((((Greenleaves))))))))))))))

I hope maybe here or elsewhere during this time you will find some fun and happiness.

All the best,
Sarah

I'm just really sad all of a sudden. I hate crying. I want the bad feelings to go away and never come back. I want to feel happy. I'm so sad.

No one knows me here, I have no friends here. Maybe I don't have any more friends there either. I did bad things over there. I'm so sad. I don't know what to do.

Someone please validate my feelings.

Give yourself time here, eventually folks will know you and you will feel more comfortable.

I hear you. (((((((((((Greenleaves)))))))))))))

GL,
You wrote,[...I did bad things over there...].
I happened to have followed your posts there and I do not consider what you posted to be doing a bad thing.
In fact, I consider all posts on a mental health forum to be a good thing, for support is much more than pleasing someone or reinforcing that they are right. There are a wide variety of individual differences that make a community of diverse and pluristic population a community where there is bound to have someone disagree or even be offended by another. But reasonable people do disagree and reasonable people can have dialog to work through disagreements. . That leads to as if the owner/moderator of a mental health forum is considering that tthey are doing a therapuetic intervention by expelling you from the community. Being that ostrcism is a psychological tactic that I consider to be antiquated and cruel, I wonder if the moderator of a mental health forum could think that ostrcism is a sound mental-health practice. I find no fault in you other than the faults that we all have. And if someone can be ostrcized by someone for saying what they do not want you to say, or for not saying what they do want you to say, then is the forum practicing the concepts of their own stated mission?
Lou

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I consider all posts on a mental health forum to be a good thing,

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Lou, you reported more people for violating the rules at babble than anyone. If all posts are OK, why would you do that?

GL - Your block will be over before you know it. Consider it an imposed study period for you. Take care. emmy

emily4040
You wrote,[...Lou, you reported more people for violating...than anyone...].
Sorry, I was requesting that the owner/moderator write a determination as to if the statement in question was acceptable or not in relation to the guidlines of the forum. I made those requests so that more definition could be given to the self-made rules for that forum so that others could be in accordance with the guidlines of that forum and that the possibility of being subjected to arbitrary or caprcious or discriminatory rules could be avoided. I remember even posting that I was not asking the moderator to sanction the poster of such statement, but only to give more definition to the rules. For if there are to be rule in a community , I do not want to be subjected to discrimination. If there are to be rules, then I think that any rule should be:
A. well-defined
B.applied equally.
Without those 2 things, you have fascism.
Lou

I think I'm depressed again. I have no motivation to do anything and I'm really tearful right now. I haven't felt happiness for more than 2 weeks now.

I can't concentrate and I can't study. I tried to study, but I couldn't for more than an hour. I just end up lying my head on the desk.

Thanks Emily, it means a lot that you posted to me above...since you know me. Thank Lou, I don't agree with blocks for anyone.

I just have to find so way to distract myself.

I'm been saving my replies for when I can post again. So far I have 52 replies. I'm going to try to be a different person when I go back. I'm going to try to help others more.

I'm just lonely. I don't know people here.

Maybe use this time to figure out why you keep getting banned and work on that? You sound nice enough to me. Maybe do some deep thinking and start some new habits to catch potentially ban-worthy activities before you do them as opposed to after?

Yep, I have to stop myself from posting uncivil things in the future. I tend to get impulsive when I go "insane" with emotion.



I really want to be good. I do. I want to be good. I don't ever want to be blocked again. I don't know how people do it.

How are you coping with being blocked for a year Lou? I think a year is way too long to block someone. I don't think there should be blocks. If there are blocks I think they should be at most a month. I don't like for anyone to be blocked.

GL,
You wrote,[...depressed...no motivation...tearful...havn't felt happinesss..can't concentrate...lying my head on the desk...Thanks Lou...find so(me) way...just lonely...].
I am deeply distressed that what has happened to you from that is doing this to you. But I ask you, can you see that the history of the world chronicles the same tactics and that those that have used them had justice brought to them? You see, "There is no freedom without justice" .(Simon Wiesenthal)
I will take your situation personally, for if it is done to you, it is done to me.
Lou

I don't know too much about history. History isn't my strong point Lou. Can you explain?

I think maybe the admistrator there doesn't know how much he hurts people by blocking them?

greenleaves,

i'm sorry you're hurting. maybe when you go back you can work on previewing all posts...read and reread them a couple of times before submitting them. beside the puter screen have a notepad of questions to ask self about the post before hitting submit (i.e. is it supportive, caring, informative, hurtful, biting, etc)? before long, you'll have it down and won't need to do any of that, i think.

what do you think about that?

kd

GL,
The blocking is not something that [...has to be done...]. Objectional posts can be deleted. Objectionable posts can be reviewed by a group and sent back to the poster before it is left on the board to be modified to meet the guidlines of the forum so that it can be posted. Objectional posts can be penalized by other means than blocking the poster in toto, such as limiting the number of posts for so many days if a post does not meet the guidlines of the forum. And there are other good and just alternatives to ostracism.
Lou

KimmyDawn, that is a very good idea! Thanks for the idea. I will make a card with questions to ask myself before i post something. Hopefully that will catch inappropriate things.

I just have to make sure I am not impulsive about posting. It is very hard to do that sometimes. Sometimes I lose control of my emotions.

Greenleaves,

It is very inspiring to read what you wrote, that you will give that strategy a try.

I have some habits also I want to change, maybe I can pick one and try a practice like that with a card.

Concerning emotions and posting, what helps me sometimes is to stand up and walk around a bit before I actually post something. Maybe I've written it, previewed, but before I actually submit the post, I move around some.

Maybe get a drink of water. That can give me more time to sort things out.

Sarah

> The blocking is not something that [...has to be done...].

I suppose thats right enough...

>Objectional posts can be deleted.

Yes. Though I have to say that I prefer facing the consequences of my actions rather than having stuff deleted. I guess thats a personal preference. Different boards do things differently...

> Objectionable posts can be reviewed by a group and sent back to the poster before it is left on the board to be modified to meet the guidlines of the forum so that it can be posted.

Yes. Though if you consider how many posts are posted in one day it might take several days worth of reviewing before anything makes it to the boards...

>Objectional posts can be penalized by other means than blocking the poster in toto, such as limiting the number of posts for so many days if a post does not meet the guidlines of the forum.

Yes. Though it only takes one uncivil post...

>And there are other good and just alternatives to ostracism.

I don't think... I don't think that blocks are intended to ostracise people. I don't think blocks ostracise people, either. There are other means of communication open to people. People usually manage to collect email addresses. And if you have a couple it is easy enough to figure out ways of getting in touch with more people (by way of the people whos addresses you have). You can post to another board. You could start your own blog. Or webpage. Or whatever...

But one year is a long time...

But then... It took a while to get up to a year...

hey. sorry you are having a crappy day :-(
i know you miss people but...
don't forget all the wonderful people over here too.
i know four weeks sounds like a long time...
but it really will pass soon enough.
you don't have to change your personality you know
if you change too much then people won't recognise you when you come back ;-)
and as for eight weeks...
well...
lets hope there won't be a next time.

hang in there.
i hope you have a better day tomorrow.

wittgenstien,
Ostracism means to expell someone from a community or group. Surely ostracism is not the same a solatary confinement without being allowed to send letters to others.
Ostrcised people can still communicate with the others individually or collectivly by other means, but not in the group setting that they were citizens or members of.
Historically, those ostracised were stigmatized by the action. . The ostracism was done without trial., the ostracised person was not granted any due-process or any opportunity to defend the accusations against them before they were ostrcised. Even though ostracised people can start their own newspaper if they want to, they are still ostracised from the community or group that they were in and can not be an equal participant in the community or group that they were ostracised from.
http://dict.aiedu.com/word/ostracise
My interest here in this is that if the forum is a mental-health community, could not other alternatives be used even if it could requier some work?
For instance, if I chaired a mental-health forum, I would have large group of people to review the posts in the first minuet and if there was something that needed to be changed in the post, those 'editors" could send it back to be modified for resubmission. That would take more work for the group's owners, but I think that in a mental-health forum that it is worth the extra effort.
My vision of a mental-health forum would start with a few people to moderate it and then involve many more so that there could be a moderator for each thread. There would never be anyone blocked or even written to them on the board. That would be a large endevor , but could it not be worth the effort?
I think that each thread could have a moderator easily by having 10 moderators for a group that has 500 posts per day.
The overiding issue here is that expelling a member from a group has the effects to some that are evident in this thread, so I ask you to consider if expulsion is a sound mental-health practice in a mental-health community.
Lou

GL,
You wrote,[...I think maybe the administrator there doesn't know how much he hurts people there by blocking them...].
My overiding concern here is you, my friend. As to if he knows or not, I still want you to know that you did not do anything {bad}. If the reason was about a post that may have had issues about suicide or self-harm, then those type of posts could have been deleted.and an email sent to you that posts involving self-harm are not permitted to be posted.
That way, you could have remained unexpelled from the community and recieved support that you came there for. You have come here for support and I am glad to have the opportunity to help you understand that you have not done something bad by posting on a mental-health forum. It goes without saying that people on a mental-health forum will be those that are not in their best state to even understand the rules of others because they could be preoccupied with their distress and that is whyy they are there , to get support.
In your case,if the offending post was about self-harm, the post could have been deleted and a message sent to you to do an internet search to locate groups that specialize in the helping of those contemplating self-harm. It is not bad to write about contemplating self-harm in a mental health community,although the forum may have rules that prohibit those type of posts. And those forums can easily email you on how to find a forum that can give you support in relation to that without expelling you from the community.
You are not bad, and I hope that you can get support from here to help you understand that. The post in question may be not permitted by that forum, but you are not bad for posting it because it was posted on a mental-health forum and deserve no condemnation, for self-harm is part of the struggle for those in depression.
Lou

Actually self-harm has nothing to do with depression per se. It is much more typical of personality disorders, specifically borderline personality.

kismet,
You wrote,[...self harm has {nothing} to do with deppresion...more typical of...].
You are correct that self-harm is {more typical} in some other DX.
However, depression has the charactoristics of feelings of unworthyness and hopelessness that can give thoughts of suicide or self-harm.
My overiding concern here in offering support to the innitiator of this thread is that the member here writes about feeling {bad}.
If someone is having a mental-health issue in their life, I do not think that they ahould be made to feel bad about posting on mental-health forum about it, including suicide ideation.
Lou

I agree they should not be made to feel bad. In fact, I know nothing of the situation you refer to and wasnt taking a personal shot at anyone. I apologize if it sounded that way.

Suicidal ideation (and suicide) are common in depression. Self-harm is a very different beast, however.