Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #26  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 06:18 AM
ECHOES's Avatar
ECHOES ECHOES is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: West of Tampa Bay, East of the Gulf of Mexico
Posts: 14,354
Have you talked to your neighbor directly about this?
Thanks for this!
beauflow, Charlie_J

advertisement
  #27  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 06:41 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Awake again.

Hi Echoes. I honestly can't imagine anything worse. I'm frightened of him for a start. The rest of the neighbourhood would tell me not to, because he has a reputation for being nasty (although apparently his Dad is the nicest bloke you could ever meet).

His daughter says hello when I see her. She's a nice kid. She has some kind of learning disability and this has nothing at all to do with her. I'd be surprised if she even knows anything about it.

We didn't mediate face to face. The mediators visited us, and him. A few days after their visits ended, he trespassed onto our garden with a friend of his. I took pictures. We had to contact mediation again to call and tell him about it since that's one of the issues we raised.
  #28  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 07:24 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
I was just sat here thinking vaguely about things. I am going to make a list of things to bring up at my GP appointment or I'll forget.

1. Tell him about the Ombudsman.
2. Tell him I had relied on my CPN when the letter came.
3. Remind him that we agreed to a 150mg dose of Sertraline in 50mg tabs so that I could decrease them if necessary as he mistakenly prescribed me 100mg tabs last time.
4. Tell him I took 200mg of Sertaline last night.
5. Explain about my meetings with him, my psychiatrist and my CPN, and apologise for any misinformation that's gone on behind the scenes.
6. Tell him why I have forgotten to get a blood test done.
7. Ask him to prescribe me with medication to reduce my cholesterol which is advised necessary by my psychiatrist.
8. Tell him about the referral for ENT and tell him when the appointment is for.
9. Ask him to listen to the temporal bone behind my ear with a stethoscope to see if the tinnitus is objective.
10. Ask him to test my blood pressure in each arm to see if there is a difference.
11. Tell him about experiencing some phantom gall bladder pain and a small amount of unexplained weight loss, just in case it might be applicable to my liver, especially since I have not had the blood test that was due.

Things I need to take:

Ombudsman file.
Tinnitus file.
Mental health file.

I will print this out and take it with me.

I think I definitely need to print the Ombudsman's letter (he sent it by email) without poring over it while I am alone. I think doing that would be dangerously bad for my state of mind.

Last edited by Charlie_J; Dec 08, 2011 at 07:27 AM. Reason: forgot something
  #29  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 08:23 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
While I was sleeping earlier, I had a nightmare about my neighbour. He's let an eight foot hedge grow next to my window, but I was stood on the doorstep and somehow I could see him at the other side because of a weirdly directed reflection.

He was dressing up for some talent competition, and he had on a red and green jester's hat, with all the bells on. He was painting a dripping red lipstick smile on his face that was quite sinister, a bit like the Joker.

Anyway, in the real world I've managed to print the thing out and only had my eye fall on a couple of bits. It's away from my desk now. It's a poisoned apple. It's radioactive waste. I'm not going near it.

There's a little voice in my head saying that it's probably better to read it all, take it in, and face it. A little voice saying that perhaps I was mistaken last night, and it's not as bad as I'm now imagining, and I'll feel better if I do it. I didn't manage to read it all before, just parts, and the conclusion.

I think that voice is wrong, even though it sounds sensible. I've been listening to that voice all the way through this, and it's been wrong every single time. Nothing about any of this has been sensible from the start. I'm not going to study that thing when I'm sat here alone, because I really believe those horrible thoughts I've had before are just one step away. That step. And I can't afford to have them. I have to be here.
  #30  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 08:25 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
I think I'll work on RoadRunner's idea about putting it all into a concise and effective statement I can send out to the press. I'm not sure if they've forgiven us for not talking to them ten years ago. We'll see.

Thinking about it, the most effective way to tell the story would be to work backwards, beginning with the Ombudsman and ending with the death of my dog a year ago. That way I can minimise anything to do with my neighbour and just make it about the Ombudsman and the Council.

Yeah. Still not going near it. I'll wait until tonight when my mother is at home.

Last edited by Charlie_J; Dec 08, 2011 at 08:37 AM.
  #31  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 09:08 AM
Perna's Avatar
Perna Perna is offline
Pandita-in-training
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
One thing I would keep telling myself is that bad things could happen but have not yet. If push comes to shove, your mother would not lose her home because you would find the dog another home instead of your mother!
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
Thanks for this!
beauflow, Charlie_J
  #32  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 09:24 AM
Nelliecat's Avatar
Nelliecat Nelliecat is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: May 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 960
I've only just come across this post and I can completely see why you're having such a hard time. I don't have any words of wisdom (head is foggy) but I wanted you to have a hug . Make sure you keep posting here, it might help to get your thoughts out and clarify things. Thinking of you.
Thanks for this!
Charlie_J
  #33  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 09:47 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
One thing I would keep telling myself is that bad things could happen but have not yet. If push comes to shove, your mother would not lose her home because you would find the dog another home instead of your mother!
Thanks, Perna

Bad things that we told ourselves couldn't happen, have happened. I don't discount any eventuality anymore.

The reason this is such a big issue... we lost my Dad and brother to suicide in October 2001. We have both had a lot to deal with, we've become very close as mother and daughter. I have a lot to live with, and there's no pretending any of it away, even if I could. I can only do the best that I can at any given moment, and I really do try.

There's a point. I've seen my mother suffer. I've been there through this terrible thing that destroyed our lives and often, the only thing that keeps me choosing the same way out is that I can't do that to her. I can't. In fact, I remember being angry with them because by doing what they did they closed the door behind them and I couldn't follow. No. I can't abandon her, the way her husband and son have abandoned her.

Regarding my dog. I know that my dog is innocent. Even if he wasn't, I'd do anything for my dog, and any dog can be trained with the necessary patience and approach.

My neighbour has been living next door to us for years, even when we really did have a noisy dog. If I abandon my dog over this, how could I live with myself? I've been abandoned. I know exactly what it feels like. I simply can't bear the idea of his wondering in his little doggy way where we are, why he isn't with us, and what he did to be left in a strange place, with strangers. Plus, he probably end up being euthanised.

How could I live with myself? How could I have any respect for myself or my humanity if I allow someone else (who is deliberately cruel) to dictate the level and intensity of my misery and suffering?

And more than all this, if I can abandon my dog, whom I love and wouldn't hurt, and wouldn't put through what I've been though... then what can't I abandon? The one consideration that keeps me here so often suddenly has less weight, compounded by the above.

Plus, at my lowest points, I've not just had suicidal thoughts. It's been a lot worse than that. I'm walking in a minefield and I must not fail to spot these things and avoid them at all costs. There are other tragedies to be guilty of beside suicide.

It's all extremely dangerous.

So, you see. I'm really in a bit of an awkward place, and those who should have helped to calm things down and make peace have made it worse. I keep thinking there's a name for it. Unconnected people, involved in a weird hybrid of victimisation and mass hysteria.

The only thing I can do is be with my dog at all times, even if sometimes I have to get up at 2am in the morning to work before my mother has to leave at seven. My only defence is being willing to be his witness, although in my experience it isn't enough. I have proof that someone has lied, and the authorities are going to ignore it. That leaves me in a very vulnerable place. There is no defence.
  #34  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 09:50 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Thanks, Nelliecat... the support means so much...

*runs off with the hug*



I'm still doing okay, still not looking at the thing on the table. GP in three and half hours. I'm going to make it easily. I'd better not expect him to rescue me, or it'll all come crashing down when I leave the surgery... :/
  #35  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 10:18 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
I've thought of a bright side to everything. I don't have anything further to "reveal" By which I mean I've been posting about other things for ages, and now this is in the open too, I feel somewhat relieved.

* Issues with victimisation by neighbour, council and ombudsman.
* Bipolar (mood, weight, debt etc).
* Previous suicide of half of immediate family.
* Pulsatile Tinnitus.

That's the extent of it. There's a much bigger list of things I don't suffer from/with. Too big to put here. I'm not being sarcastic at all; I really do think it's a bright side.
  #36  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 10:39 AM
roads's Avatar
roads roads is offline
member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: away
Posts: 23,905
Charlie, *big hugs*! you are doing a very good job of taking care of yourself. You found the bright side, & that's really wonderful. Good for you.

I hope the mtg with your GP goes well.


Roadrunner
  #37  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 10:56 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Thank you! *hugs back* Hope you have had a good night's sleep, RR Erm... I'm assuming it's morning where you are. I could be wrong, probably am.

I thought I'd just post a small example of the kind of thing that is going on, to make it clearer.

The Council's notes include a statement from their housing officer regarding a visit he made whilst I was out:

"...we then left the property and went around to Mrs X's property to make her aware that we had witnessed noise nuisance in the form of loud persistent barking coming from her property. There was no answer so we returned to the car, where I wrote out a not in card to put through the letterbox..."

Upon production of CCTV footage that shows no such visit took place, and the only visit was to leave the card, the Ombudsman has said this:

"Mrs X questions what the council says about there having been a second officer present who witnessed the barking on this occasion, because their CCTV tape only shows Officer A approaching their door to leave a contact card. But the file record says that the other officer was waiting in a car while Officer A went to deliver the contact card, and so would not have been captured on the CCTV. I see no reason to doubt what the file record says."

Please, for the sake of my sanity, does someone else see what's going on here? Please say you see it.

*throws the Ombudsman thing onto the table before she can read more of it*
  #38  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 02:31 PM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Got back from doctor's... he's the best doctor in the entire world!

He's going to write an important letter for us to stop them claiming something unjust.

And he has rescued me a bit, after all. I feel so much calmer now.

Thanks for this!
ECHOES
  #39  
Old Dec 08, 2011, 02:43 PM
roads's Avatar
roads roads is offline
member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: away
Posts: 23,905
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie_J View Post
he has rescued me a bit, after all. I feel so much calmer now.
Well, now, I'm having some pretty fond feelings for your doctor myself!

I'm glad he's been able to help, Charlie. It's time you got somebody in your corner who had some standing in the community. I'm so relieved! I've got to get ready for work now but will keep all this in mind.

Keep on taking care.

Roadrunner
Thanks for this!
Charlie_J
  #40  
Old Dec 09, 2011, 12:32 PM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Just an update to this situation. I saw my CPN today, and he is going to go with me to a solicitors where I can get free legal advice on the housing situation. He's cool too

<--- is feeling much relieved.
Thanks for this!
beauflow, ECHOES, pachyderm
  #41  
Old Dec 09, 2011, 10:04 PM
roads's Avatar
roads roads is offline
member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: away
Posts: 23,905
All right! Some more good news! See, Charlie? You know great folks!

No, I know there's a long way to go. But at least you're not having to do this all on your own. I'm proud of you for asking for help. I know how hard it is ...

Roadrunner
Thanks for this!
Charlie_J
  #42  
Old Dec 09, 2011, 11:36 PM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep View Post
All right! Some more good news! See, Charlie? You know great folks!
Absolutely! I mean, I know you, and everyone else who spared some time to think of me and my situation.



You may not be powerful people, with the capacity to help materially, but every one who has replied has been helping to restore a lot of my faith in humanity, which has taken some pretty hefty knocks lately. I really believe that's just as important as getting legal advice.
Hugs from:
SophiaG
  #43  
Old Dec 09, 2011, 11:48 PM
roads's Avatar
roads roads is offline
member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: away
Posts: 23,905
Hey, that's what we do here ... Show up for each other!
Hugs from:
Charlie_J
Thanks for this!
beauflow, Charlie_J
  #44  
Old Dec 12, 2011, 09:33 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
I'm glad I posted this thread, because I doubt I'd have the wherewithal to do it now. My mood has dipped, and I've overslept. Just can't seem to wake up properly.

I can't afford to feel like this. I need to be able to get out of the house to get advice, and my deadline for replying to the Ombudsman is 21st December. Funny - I notice the Ombudsman has no deadline for replying to me. All I want to do is crawl under a rock.

Positive things I have done today (may edit):

I have organised my medication for the next two weeks.
I have sorted out the majority of my washing and put a load in.
I have answered the phone. It was my CPN, and he got me to call for a solicitor and told me when he can come with me. Still waiting for them to get back to me.


Everything is so foggy, and just the thought of doing anything is enough to make me long for sleep. I'm going to try and wash some clothes. I'll edit later if I manage to get some done.

Last edited by Charlie_J; Dec 12, 2011 at 11:44 AM. Reason: Posting intentions: it worked...
Hugs from:
beauflow, pachyderm, roads
  #45  
Old Dec 12, 2011, 05:45 PM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Ok, so from my research so far, I am looking at one angle in particular.

1) A previously published case by the Ombudsman concerned a woman who was issued with an ASBO after an application from her Council based on the allegations of one of her neighbours.

Given the opportunity to defend herself, she was able to disprove the allegation, and the Council was... we'll say reprimanded.

2) My neighbours diaries can be presented as evidence in court at any future eviction hearing in relation to the allegations made against us. Their weight as evidence will be considerably lessened however, as my neighbour MUST turn up in court as a witness AND he can be cross examined. I would also be given the opportunity to present our evidence which is contrary to his claims. And in a court of law, we are both equal. Plus, I have more witnesses.

3) We are not both equal before the Council. I suspect, but cannot prove, that their handling of our case has been driven by three factors.
(a) That Councils can and have been successfully prosecuted for failing to adequately deal with antisocial behaviour.

(b) That there remains no adequate form of redress for those who are subject to aggressive handling on the part of the council, regardless of the validity (or lack, thereof) of the allegations made against them or how much distress it may cause.

(c) That there are no checks on Council Officers to behave honestly and impartially, given the above, and given that many of them will be looking to make their jobs appear indispensable in these times of big budget cuts when many public sector employees will face redundancy.

4) The Ombudsman has indicated his decision is based on legislation found in The Environmental Protection Act 1990, The Housing Act 1985, and The Housing Act, 1996. These pieces of legislation deal with the allegation as if it were true, and I believe I should quote some things back at him:-

Protection from Eviction Act, 1997:

(3)If any person with intent to cause the residential occupier of any premises—

(a)to give up the occupation of the premises or any part thereof; or

(b)to refrain from exercising any right or pursuing any remedy in respect of the premises or part thereof;

does acts calculated to interfere with the peace or comfort of the residential occupier or members of his household, or persistently withdraws or withholds services reasonably required for the occupation of the premises as a residence, he shall be guilty of an offence.

(we were refused help from the environmental protection unit in the form of monitoring equipment due to budget constraints, not given advice from the dog warden which was requested many times, not given the opportunity to defend ourselves/evidence was ignored, refused mediation in the first instance, which was only granted after the intercession of an elected official)

PROTECTION FROM HARASSMENT 1997
1. Prohibition of harassment.

(1)A person must not pursue a course of conduct—
(a)which amounts to harassment of another, and
(b)which he knows or ought to know amounts to harassment of the other.
(2)For the purposes of this section, the person whose course of conduct is in question ought to know that it amounts to harassment of another if a reasonable person in possession of the same information would think the course of conduct amounted to harassment of the other.
(3)Subsection (1) does not apply to a course of conduct if the person who pursued it shows—
(a)that it was pursued for the purpose of preventing or detecting crime,
(b)that it was pursued under any enactment or rule of law or to comply with any condition or requirement imposed by any person under any enactment, or
(c)that in the particular circumstances the pursuit of the course of conduct was reasonable.

(See note above. In addition, we weren't advised of any involvement by the council until mid-february, and by the end of the month, we had received a Caution for breach of tenancy conditions.)

HUMAN RIGHTS ACT
Article 5: Right to Liberty and Security (I have been unable to leave the house)
Article 6: Right to a Fair Trial (I have been prevented from defending myself)
Article 8: Right to Respect for Private and Family Life
Article 14: Prohibition of Discrimination (The threat of eviction can only be made to Council tenants. That's discrimination based on social status.)

5) If the aforementioned Mrs A had been a council tenant, then I suspect her Council would not have applied for an ASBO, but would have treated her the same way as we have been treated, and threatened her with eviction.

Regardless of if an accusation of criminal behaviour is played out in a court or not, if consequences are involved that cause distress to a person(s) due to their encroachment on Human Rights, they must have the opportunity to defend themselves.

Ok... thoughts over. I think the solicitor is going to shake his head at me. :/
Hugs from:
roads
  #46  
Old Dec 13, 2011, 01:50 AM
roads's Avatar
roads roads is offline
member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: away
Posts: 23,905
Well, I don't understand it but it's past my bedtime.
I will try to dig thru it tho with a fresher brain in case anything clicks.
For what it's worth ... haha

but Article 14 argument sounds good...
Thanks for this!
Charlie_J
  #47  
Old Dec 13, 2011, 02:39 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
*sends some sweet dreams*
Thanks for this!
SophiaG
  #48  
Old Dec 14, 2011, 10:23 AM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Update:

Have an appointment with a solicitor tomorrow at 2pm. My CPN will collect me and take me there.

Having some real trouble waking up and staying awake. Slept twelve hours so far today.

My mother and I both discussed "options" and she cried. We both realise we're running out of them. My mother brought it up. We're not in any danger, we just discussed it. I can't help thinking it would give us a voice. The notes from us both. Letter to be read at the service, one to be read at the inquest, an open letter to the press. Someone in authority would finally listen, would be forced to listen, and then maybe this wouldn't happen to anyone else.

Anyway, that's something to ponder more when the solicitor says there's nothing we can do, and we write letters to the press who don't respond. So many people who ought to know that their actions are likely to put us in that kind of danger, are carrying out those actions regardless. It's why I keep looking at that Protection from Harassment thing.

For an authority and a landlord to make allegations of a mother and daughter, which can result in the loss of their family home, and deny them the opportunity to defend themselves in any way whatsoever. To disregard their testimony and that of their employers, and that of their other neighbours and friends. Two women who have already suffered tragedy in such a way that they're much more likely to commit those same actions in the face of an impossible situation.

Isn't that harassment?

*sighs* I'd better make sure I know where the Samaritans number is... just in case.
Hugs from:
roads
  #49  
Old Dec 14, 2011, 12:25 PM
Charlie_J's Avatar
Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Sheffield, UK
Posts: 237
Today I have:

Taken my medication.
Finished washing and sorting out my clothes.
Filled in the RSPCA's Home for Life form.
  #50  
Old Dec 14, 2011, 02:01 PM
roads's Avatar
roads roads is offline
member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: away
Posts: 23,905
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie_J View Post
Today I have:

Taken my medication.
Finished washing and sorting out my clothes.
Filled in the RSPCA's Home for Life form.
Good. I am especially interested in the sound of the "Home for Life" form. That sounds like a good thing.

I'm glad your CPN is taking you tomorrow. Wish I could *be* there, really be there. What time? Will set my phone, so at least I'll know when it starts.

I'm nervous but couldn't possibly be more with you ...
Hugs from:
Charlie_J
Thanks for this!
Charlie_J
Reply
Views: 2216

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:32 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.