useless

I am feeling pretty useless right now. I did the depression quiz today and it's the lowest ever. But here I sit, taxes not done, financial aid for kids not done, feeling like I want to sleep and can't. Feeling like I am unlovable and freakish. (that's old). I do not want to do anything today. Yet there are a few things that need to be accomplished. My house needs to be swept or vacuumed and mopped and dishes need to be done. My bed needs clean sheets and the laundry hamper is full. I did not sleep well last night. Changes are in the mist, I can see. I know I need to get off my unemployed fanny and make some life choices. it seems that only at night my mind races so that I can't sleep.

I will call the doc. I will do everything I can to remain well, or be well. I am going through some tough stuff re: I am at the age where parental people die. I miss my Jane to give me guidance and I see the "adults" in my life aging. I need to accomplish something so I can be proud and know I have done something. Time to tear my son's old room apart and put in the tile and paint the black and white trim and find animal pictures so the room feels like a cozy place for babies.

I didn't want to wake up but I kept having bad dreams. Yuck. I made myself wake up. I don't want to do chores, I don't want to leave my bed. I want to sleep with no or good dreams. Just called the doc's office to see what can help, asked for freebies if possible. I am having so many dreams where I just can't win.

My life is in a transition and there are lots of things to worry about. I wish that I could just stop the worry.

(((((((((wise))))))))))))) I completely understand that feeling so well. we can hang in there together. that is what we are here for

Sweety, you're going through a rough time emotionally, judging by a past post. That alone is going to sap your energy for anything else.

When I get like you are right now, I put it on automatic pilot and go through the motions. If it was me, I'd throw a load of clothes into the washer. To me, the sorting is so automatic that I don't have to think about it. Vacuuming would get your blood moving... you think? Turn on some good music and turn up the volume. LOL

.... or NOT. That's just what I do...

Good luck, Sweety!

((((((((((wisewoman))))))))))

Try to start with something little and maybe you'll get some motivation to move onto something bigger. If not, you've gotten at least something done, however small it might be.

Thanks Be, Sept and Wi, I did sleep for a long time and feel better now. Have swept all of the floors and the second load is in the wash. Maybe I can do more in a bit after my back rests. I will at least get dressed before hubby comes home. I never went to get the truck inspected and haven't touched a mop. Blah, I HAVE done something so no matter where I go from here today I am ahead of where I started. Thanks.

wisewoman,

You're definately NOT useless. You are doing the best you can.

(((((((((((((((((((( wisewoman )))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((( Wise ))))))))))))))))))

I wish you were not going through such tumultuous times. I wish you peace and joy.

You have shown me great kindness and you are of the greatest value in my book.

Hugs,

Jan

WoooooooHoooooooooooooo!! You DID accomplish something! Good going!!

Thanks, yup I did. That was about it. I fear that I am not feeling well. Thanks for the support.

You are NOT useless and may still be getting better from being sick..so maybe the last thing you need to do is work...maybe you need more rest

Hugs

I hope you get to feeling better soon. I know you are a bright spot in many people's lives.

Jbug

Jannie you are so very kind. Thank you. Today I struggle with disability. Mainly my back. I am so limited with what I can do without pain. Gotta figure that one out. Hate not having health insurance. I hope you are well.

To everyone, thank you for all of the kindnesses and encouragement. I often wish I could show my whole story and get feed back on all issues. Today I got the truck inspected.. But, son was driving my eagle and it broke down... He picked up his car from mechanic before he had looked at it and it barely made it home so now he is in my truck. CARS, KIDS, LIFE. How do I know I am leading a good life, a right life? How do I know if I have been the screw up or not?

Go easy on yourself!

(((((((((((((((( wisewoman ))))))))))))))))))

hon if your kids are good kids and your and hubby are doing ok then you are doing stuff right. please don't be so hard on yourself (((hugs)))

I don't know. We seem to have to make it as we go. You sound like you got some stuff done today. That's good. Hang in there.

Thanks Pegasus, bebop and hopeful. Guess I am just not so hopeful. Bad dreams and old demons and the regular ones too. Yikes.