What am I suppose to do with myself?

Thinking of trying to get on SSI since I am pretty much useless on jobs...last one I had was a temporary job and I thought I was laid off because they had ran out of work for me, later found out they thought I was 'mental' and apparently I was working too slow. Then last time I had an interview for a job I showed up the person to interview me was not there and the employees that were there were really rude to me. Then of course I applied for a seasonal job and in an interview the interviewer asked me if I drank socially or something else cant quite remember the wording, I wouldn't describe it as either so that question caught me off guard. I feel like my hesitation screwed me over. I mean I drink because I like it or, to calm myself but I don't really go out and socialize a lot, lately I am usually either at my moms house in my room or my friends house.

But even if I get on SSI what then? or if I cant get on it what do I do? I mean I am just not sure i can survive homeless...maybe I could, but there are issues like the winter, and really hot weather in the summer. Not to mention I am not exactly the type to walk up to someone and ask for change or anything so I am not quite sure how I could feed myself, maybe there are places that give out food but I don't know. I mean at this point I feel my mom has every right to kick me out....I am 22 I have no income so I cannot contribute to the bills and I just eat whatever food there I want...and am hardly ever there as I feel less stressed at my friends house. When I am at my moms house I try to help with cleaning and such, but it doesn't feel like enough. I just feel like a burden to everyone, yet somehow some people still want me around....so I'm really trying to keep going in life even though it feels I am going nowhere no matter how hard I try.

I would make yourself more useful at your mom's and offer to go/help with the grocery shopping and food prep (learn to cook simple meals); do the dishes after meals and practice being reliable, showing up and being there, chatting with your mom, keeping your room neat/clean and your laundry done (and the household's, there's beds to change and sheets, towels and dish towels to wash) and the bathroom picked up, etc. You do not have to act like a burden and if you don't act like a burden, you won't feel like one?

Maybe make yourself a schedule and don't hang at your friend's so much? Your friend and/or his mom may not be so keen on that and/or if you are there, your friend may not be working on some things s/he should be to care adequately for him/herself? If you are out and about, shopping and learning to do stuff to run a household, it's more likely you might meet someone or see jobs available that might interest you. Notice which of your mom's neighbors are older and see if you can't do chores for them for a few bucks here and there if they want to pay you; it's good practice talking to people and becoming more comfortable around all sorts. You could start a small dog sitting/walking service or house watching for when people go on vacation, etc. Make a little brochure and go door-to-door in a block area/apartment building and introduce yourself and just be friendly and chat with people if they want.

When you don't have to go to a set job, that's the time to look around and try a whole bunch of things. Volunteer for several places; think about delivering pizza or business-to-business packages or starting an errand running service. Find an old yellow pages phone book and leaf through it looking at all the jobs and see if any ideas jump out at you. See if you can get a janitorial/cleaning/helper types of jobs for small businesses. Insurance agents and Realtors all work for themselves, find "tiny" businesses like that who have offices and see if you can figure out how to get a little money from several. Go "underground" until you can figure out what you'd like to do, save some of what little you make so you'll have a little savings in a year or two to make a start once you get a "real" job you like.

I agree with Perna's suggestions, and I'd like to add that I don't know where you live, but depending on your location you may be able to qualify for disability services in finding a job. You'd need some medical papers though that would prove your mental health issues. If you worked with them your employer would know from the get-go that you're disabled in some way/shape/form and would have to provide you with any accommodations that you would need.

[QUOTE=Perna;2373805]I do the dishes and have done cleaning and such, I have also helped with cooking and such, thing is I am not there a lot. Also her boyfriend is there most of the day because he works from his computer, so she does have his help. And the issue is the psychological issues I have kind of limit how much chatting I can deal with not very good at faking I'm fine when I'm not and me and my mom argue if I am ever open there is something wrong and try to explain to her what it is...also just keeping my room clean enough, and my laundry is hard enough let alone trying to do everyones. But yeah I wouldn't say i really act like a burden when I am there...I just feel like one because I don't have any income to contribute or anything like that. Not to mention the only real reason that is still my current address is because I have nowhere else to move right now. But yeah her and her boyfriend argue a lot, and its always loud and chaotic around there which really tends to set my PTSD off...so hanging around there more is probably not a very good idea.

Well where do you suggest I spend my time then, I mean my moms house stresses me out and causes me to have more panic attacks? Also I am 22 and he's 40 something and does not live with his mom so we're both adults. He's actually been in military combat and is on disability ...but for whatever reason we enjoy each others company...too much age difference for me to be interested in a relationship. But yeah so anything he is obligated to do he does, I don't get in the way of that...but he is to physically well and kinda mentally screwed up to work. Also I don't want to sound pathetic...but things have gotten to the point with me where i really have to be careful about going to grocery stores...I get far too anxious if I am in one too long or if I am even out in public too long. And honestly I feel I can barely take care of myself because of the sometimes disabling anxiety or depression, so I am not sure about trying to run a whole household. Also to be honest I am not sure I could knock on doors asking for work, its really difficult and sometimes impossible for me to talk to people I don't know especially when I am the akward one knocking on there door. Also after the negative experiances I keep having with people, like what I described happened when I tried going to a job interview just feeds my general paranoia about people having bad intentions, and I am not very good at defending myself against ridicule or rudeness or bullying type behavior so yeah I kind of feel intimidated by people in general not that i want to but it's how I feel...I know I probably sound pathetic, not trying to be difficult...I mean its frusterating to me to that I am so limited by stupid anxiety, ptsd and depression symptoms.

I am actually thinking of applying for SSI, since my disorders interfere with my ability to function. I mean unless i can find a job that can accommodate that, or somewhat reach a better mental state...then there is not much chance of getting a job I mean as I said I just can't live up to their standards, I'm too slow and I come off as too much of as too mental like the one employer said. Also I don't drive....applied for a cleaning sort of position but that is the one that I didn't get because I think I screwed it up by being thrown off guard with the question of how I drank, also then a couple days later I had this terrible PTSD freak out, panic attack thing and to be honest I've felt noticeably worse since that so I kinda didn't really try and check the status on the job or really bother trying to get it after that. Anyways that is all very good advice...It just I don't know doesn't quite fit my situation. I mean not to mention it would be nice if I got along better with my mom and her boyfriend but with them constantly arguing I have to kind of stay away unless i want to go off on them

I agree it was good advice, but getting a job is really the last thing on my mind right now considering I can barely function. I think I am still going to try and follow through with getting on SSI and hope for the best with that. I also plan to go to the mental health center in my area and see if I can scedule an appointment to try and get some sort of help with some of the issues i have or if I can't qualify for their services maybe they can point me in the right direction.

And accomodations I would need, would involve...me only having to show up when I can, and leave if I get set off and start having a panic attack or whatever. I just feel like their resources could be better spent on someone a little more useful and less pathetic. I am thinking i ought to go look up some information on homeless survival, in case the SSI doesn't work...

oh it was supposed to be, supposed, not suppose.

Get a book at the library about what is required for getting a claim approved for SSI or SSDI. Your age pretty much makes it impossible that you will qualify, in the absence of some terminal disease. (You can even look that up on line.)

You do sound depressed. Going to the mental health center in your area might be worth doing, even if just to find what you are, or aren't eligible for.

At your age, I was stuck in a low-paying job and getting nowhere. By age 23, I decided to apply for a one-year vocational training program. That improved my life a good deal. When I got half way through the training, I became real depressed and went to the family doctor. He put me on an antidepressant that helped me sleep and made me much less depressed. I finished the program and was doing quite well for a while.

This happens to not be the best time in our nation's history to be a young adult. I hear that lots of college graduates are waiting tables. That's why I recommend vocational training. Doing anything, though, is going to help you better than doing nothing. Habits you have now will color your future and determine your destiny. Good luck.

Not impossible, I got SSI at age 22, on the first try, only took 3 months So there is hope.

Krisakira - Wow. That was a quick success. Goes to show, it's good to get input from diverse people. A major strength of PC.

oh okay, I was a little confused reading and wasn't sure if you were looking for a way to get a job or something. I've seen some pretty young people on disability for severe mental health issues so it's something worth looking into. It might be a pain in the neck depending on your circumstances but it's certainly do-able.

Hi Hellion -- I am sorry that you are struggling with this. I think I am too old to have the kind of insights the younger people on this thread have for you, from their real-life perspective.

As a teacher, I think it would be a shame for you never to develop a way to contribute to life. SSI will be a good foundation to give you a bit of comfort in your life, but I hope that won't be the end of it. It does not have to be a paying job, but I hope you will find something you like to do, be an art or craft or being the neighborhood good listener or fishing or repairing bicycles for poor kids. Whatever.

In my neighborhood, there is a mental health center that has art classes, for example. I have seen some wonderful paintings on the walls, and some things that are maybe not so wonderful but heartfelt.

So I hope that you will be able to put together the right combination of mental health counseling, income, and something you enjoy doing.

It is a blessing that you have an understanding mother and a good friend, no matter the age difference.

I am pretty depressed and I have to admit its not very comforting at all about how unlikely it is I can get SSI even though unless I can function on a job....is kind of the only way for me to get income I know of. I am aware of that though, I just try not to dwell on it because maybe I could get on it, probably just wishful thinking since i don't want to end up on the streets but whatever.

Also does a vocational center or whatever help you find jobs that your limitations wont interfere with too much, or do they try to mold you into an ideal employee? I feel convinced I am not capable of the latter. I mean I can do work its just a matter of I cannot live up to the expectations or whatever most jobs have...I am not friendly, outgoing, sociable and bubbly at all and I can't really pretend to be but that's whats on all job applications so that alone gets in the way then of course the mental issues I have interfere with my ability to keep up with the work load. Pushing myself harder usually makes my symptoms worse.

I tried an anti-depressant and it made me feel worse and did not help with the temporary job I had at the time.

Well I am hoping SSI could work out but I am afraid it wont, so I guess I was kind of looking for what to do if I end up homeless and if anyone has advice for getting on SSI or possibly other options...'go out and get a job' is not quite what I am looking for though that is good advice to...I just don't see how I would work unless my mental issues can improve or if I can find a job that accomodates my limitations. its like a catch 22 situation or something I just feel damned either way because there are so many if's.

Thanks, and well my mom is not the most understanding...but she tries to help here and there, she does not really understand quite so well what I'm going through though.

Here is something that might be of help. I did it and found it worthwhile. See if your state has a Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. If you get accepted as a client of Voc. Rehab., there can be quite a lot offered to you.

To get SSI, you would have to demonstrate that you have a disability. I am going through the process of applying for SSDI and/or SSI at the present. What the law firms tell me, and I talked to several, is that you need a history of having been treated for the disability. My current legal representative tells me they mostly base their decision on what they read in the records of your medical treatment.

If you feel you have a mental disability, then it would be wise to start establishing a "paper trail." An actual doctor has to diagnose you with something before you can even be considered for SSI.

Going for help is a good idea for 2 reasons. #1) You might get some help that enables you to function better. #2) You will have a record started to reflect that you are having trouble coping.

The whole issue is trying to just function better and work, via trying not to be effected by my symptoms, does not really seem to work. I mean in order for me to have a job they would have to accommodate my limitations rather than me pushing myself too hard to live up to their expectations(I've done this far too much in the past and am pretty burnt out from it.) Not to mention I am under a lot of stress that's only been making my symptoms worse. So I feel like I really need help with the issues I am having before I try to focus on getting a job...as is I'd probably get fired.

I am sure I could demonstrate that I have a disability, I mean preferably I can find somewhere they can do an assessment to diagnose my mental disorders and maybe get some help with them. But otherwise the stress will probably continue getting worse and bringing out my symptoms more so it will just get more obvious.

But yeah its not like I have unlimited time to figure out income...so its pretty frusterating that I have to somehow find a way to be diagnosed for free since I don't have income or insurance before I can even attempt to apply for SSI but that's kind of the way I thought it was.