so yeah... title says it all.

what first convinced you you needed to see professional advice or you knew something wasn't right.

i'll start with mine

1:. trying to kill myself when i was 9 years old (and actually meant it). my thoughts at the time were... not many 9 year olds would take it seriously and know what they are really doing- but i did, i was well aware i wanted to end my life

2:. people constantly telling me, you are this... you are that, etc etc etc

3:. being controled more by the voices in my head than my own thoughts- i remember when i first heard voices i didon't have a clue what it was, and kept asking everyone else if they could hear it

4:. un controled rages

so that's me...

what about yourself?

[pachyderm]

I would not say that my mental illness journey started by being convinced I needed professional advice. I would say that it started by my being a child in an environment that was very unstable emotionally. That threatened me, made me so afraid I could not cope. I realized during adolescence, when I began to wake from the amnesia that I seem to have developed in order to survive, that something was wrong, but did not know what or how to get things to improve. Going to a professional did not solve that problem either.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Going to a professional did not solve that problem either.

I have come to the conclusion that the amount of self-awareness amongst mental health professionals is highly variable. I think it is the factor, almost always ignored, that makes the crucial difference between a successful therapy outcome and one which is not. You cannot just advise "therapy" without paying much closer attention to what is actually happening within that therapy, with how much "listening" is going on. I see little awareness of that so far.

[onionknight]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

I would not say that my mental illness journey started by being convinced I needed professional advice. I would say that it started by my being a child in an environment that was very unstable emotionally. That threatened me, made me so afraid I could not cope. I realized during adolescence, when I began to wake from the amnesia that I seem to have developed in order to survive, that something was wrong, but did not know what or how to get things to improve. Going to a professional did not solve that problem either.

This rings very true for me as well.

...honestly though, my life has always been a journey through mental illness. When you're sexually abused repeatedly at around six years old and living in a hostile environment full of fighting, you have to be lucky not to get sucked into mental health struggles...

I of course didn't seek help until I was 18 and a half. I went to a psychologist first after my doctor recognized I was very depressed. Then I ended up in a psych ward. Since then, I've willingly gone to numerous therapists and psychiatrists. Few have helped.

[Vibe]

There was a lot of stuff that screwed me up. Some environment, some genetics. Some old stuff and some recent.

What got me started with the concept of "mental health" was realizing that what I was going through wasn't just hard on me, but also my loved ones. I found some mental health definitions that fit me perfectly too. I tried "getting help" and there were some beneficial elements early on. I think it ultimately took me away from where my true focus should have been though.

These days I try to focus on the good and being better rather than dwelling on the negative.

[Benignity]

I realized something was wrong when I was around eighteen or nineteen. Up until that point I was barely functioning, yet I wasn't self-aware enough to understand that. I ended up getting a court ordered psychiatric evaluation when I was nineteen, and from there I received my diagnoses and was put on medication...

[hezaa82]

For me it was the ending of a 3 year codependent relationship when I was 27. I felt so empty and dead inside and decided to find a therapist. finally couldn't run away from my problems anymore

[Hellion]

Well ever since I was a young child I knew there was something different about me.....though even if I hadn't noticed it myself its not as though the other kids and quite a few teachers didn't remind me of it all the time. But I didn't really think there was anything exactly 'wrong' with me until I attempted suicide at the age of 15 and was informed I had depression and anxiety issues and needed counseling. Then I got it in my head I could just you know get over it if I tried hard enough and that basically kinda backfired.

So yeah its hard to say when exactly it started.

[shezbut]

I didn't start going to therapy until I was in 6th grade, but I knew that something was seriously wrong with me around age 7.

1.) Incest and intense shame occurred when I was 6, my brother was 9 y.o.

2.) Same year, I made major sexual advances towards another first-grader. We were caught by his mom & she kicked me out of their house.

3.) Constant moving of homes and schools continued year after year ~ extreme shyness made me a major loner in school. Intense fights in my house continued, as did my intense nightmares.

4.) In 3rd grade, I was abducted by a psychotic man, holding a big knife towards me (in the middle of nowhere). He made sexual advances towards me in an old burned down house ~ and I tried to run free. He ran after me & forced me into his car. At the first sign of businesses and people, I jumped out after he made a left-hand turn.

5.) Horrible, intense fights occured at parents house as well as at extended family's homes.

~ I seriously wanted to die!
~ I blamed myself for not being able to stop the intense rages others got into.
~ I couldn't stand the horrible memories of sexually explicit behavior at such a young age. I HATED myself!!
~ I felt SO lonely and misunderstood by everyone. I didn't "fit in" anywhere.
~ I felt like an adult stuck in a kid's body and hated it with a passion.

[Odee]

First major depression episode when I was 14 brought me to the office of a psychiatrist, although I got over that and was fine for a few years until I was 19.

[Bipolar mom]

Panic attacks started around age six along with sever separation anxiety, and other "behavioral" problems as my drs put it. Depression started around 10 with my first suicide attempt, though no one took me seriously until about 14. Anti depressants threw me into a manic rage. Diagnosed bipolar 2 after suicide threats/SI landed me in a psych ward.

I have little to memories of my childhood, I do believe that my anxiety started so young due to some sort repressed memories. I had two therapists who told my mother they believed I was being abused in some way, however my mother dismissed it, and took me out.

When I was about 8 or 9 I put my head through a glass window on purpose and required stitches, I could never talk to my parents as they were too busy doing other things.

Sexual abuse by my brother from the age 9-16 too.
I was bullied throughout school.

I always knew I was different, I could never make friends like other people.
I had always struggled and always kept these feelings to myself until 5 years a go when I was constantly self harming and I went to see my GP who referred me to see a Pdoc and he diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder, PTSD and depression.

[Nammu]

Interesting question.

Difficult to answer.

I'm sorry I can't get to get right now. I had to erase my answer

Originally Posted by Bipolar mom

Panic attacks started around age six along with sever separation anxiety, and other "behavioral" problems as my drs put it. Depression started around 10 with my first suicide attempt, though no one took me seriously until about 14. Anti depressants threw me into a manic rage. Diagnosed bipolar 2 after suicide threats/SI landed me in a psych ward.

I have little to memories of my childhood, I do believe that my anxiety started so young due to some sort repressed memories. I had two therapists who told my mother they believed I was being abused in some way, however my mother dismissed it, and took me out.

i don't feel so alone now... it's good to know i'm not the only person that started young

sorry that this happened so young for you too

[tigerlily84]

I remember isolating and feeling depressed when I was maybe 10 or 12. I seriously considered suicide at 19. I basically survived college, but afterwards I had no purpose or goals. And this lead to my actual sui attempt at 25. I sought help that year from a therapist and pdoc. I didn't feel that the therapy and meds were helping so I stopped going to T and taking my meds. (bad decision) But I finally got help this year and I am currently seeing a T. I can't believe that I didn't seek help sooner though. It's seriously a miracle that I am still alive right now. smh...

[shortandcute]

Ummm, let's see.....excessive crying in the classroom as late as 10 years old
always feeling different
other kids always knowing there was something "different" about me, even asking me if I was retarded, etc.
not getting "friendly jokes" that other kids seemed to get
other kids being easily irritated at me and I couldn't understand why
not understanding simple directions from teachers that other kids picked up
being accused by adults of "playing dumb" when I knew I wasn't
flying into uncontrolled rages--at 16, I even threatened to kill my boyfriend, and would have too, if I hadn't been caught
doing things I knew were wrong but I couldn't stop myself--as if an evil force had been controlling me
feeling like another person was taking over my body
felling I was living in someone else's body
not being able to pick up on social cues
spacing out a lot

[bastetsha]

I was taken to a psychiatrist back in my early teen years because of issues during my childhood that had me scared so bad it was making me physically sick. As I talked to my psychiatrist, I finally got the courage to tell her about the voices and other symptoms of my illness. So I guess around 11 years of age.