PC Frustrations

You make many good points, Myself = many good ones!

Best regards,

Peanut

<FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLORink"><FONT STYLE="color:blue">With so much material to cover for THIS site, I don't think we need to rag on about OTHER sites or even the internet at large...................

Perhaps some of the frustration is that we don't expect nor do we want the problems of other sites, here? Some of what is being discussed IMO is administration issues, and might be best to not discuss here, but let the admin/mod team deal with it should it arise with a member.......................................

For me, knowing that someone is a member of many online sites does nothing. This site is different and problems arise, imo, when members are on more sites and especially if they come from a site that allows the bickering and backbiting; it takes an hour or so on this site to assimilate back to the supportive nature of PC, IMO............................................................

I'm concerned that members here, knowing all the tools to use to reduce frustration, still rant about all their frustrations here. What's up with that? How does it work, that I could know all the coping mechanisms to help me keep from becoming frustrated, because I am responsible for my own experience here, and then elaborate on what and how much I am frustrated? I don't know about that................................................................
Sometimes frustrations come when a member is too emotionally involved in another's post...taking it personally even. Certainly, there is cause for little frustration if one can step back away from the thread... and realize, that unless it is attacking them personally... there's no reason to be frustrated?

IMO some members are more upset with their own posting than others are. Think about this.... it might also be why many more members read than post. There isn't anyone here, I don't think, that is fully secure in their posting...that if a Mod PMd us about it, we wouldn't at first think OH NO! and go check it and maybe try to change it, so the post is more accomodating???

Some ppl, due to their frustration of their DISORDERS perhaps, post very little, maybe only an icon at times (I do this) or they post elaborately, trying to cover all the bases, not being sure of what exactly they should say in few words????

If I feel frustration, it's because I am involving myself (too much so?) in the poster's life. If I know background detail and then see another post that is a result of something they are working on and it went wrong... sigh... that can concern me... if I allow it to... But we are all here to better ourselves in some area, imo.

Some of us are here for healing from our disorders, some to better learn how to help others here, some to learn both...maybe some are here just to learn how to post and fit into an online community?

IMO I will know I am healthier when I don't have to ignore ppl here... when I can fully allow everyone to post the way they post and not feel insulted. This will be most difficult I think, for me, when there is a "factual error" in the posting. Sometimes I feel it's important to notify a mod, or try and PM the person...suggesting that might be true in their own life, but if it was taken from a textbook, the book might be out of date?

For me, if I post something that doesn't click for you, or holds an error, isn't enough for clarity, or is verbose and unnecessary IN YOUR MIND... then PM me. I feel that changing the way I post doesn't reflect upon who I am. I think trying to post so that as many ppl as possible get something positive from it, is a desireable goal.

We all have many thoughts and opinions about most topics posted here, imo. I wouldn't try to tell you all I know about an issue... that isn't support to me. Trying to find you where you are, and adding a small step to help you move, well... that's what I like to read too!



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For me, if I post something that doesn't click for you, or holds an error, isn't enough for clarity, or is verbose and unnecessary IN YOUR MIND... then PM me.

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shouldn't this have been taken to pm... since it was directed at a poster????????????? I am just asking is all...........

My post is not directed at any one person... but to all of us, in general.

no comment.....

You made a lot of good points (((((( Sky ))))))

Interesting thread, IMO

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radio_flyer said:
no comment.....

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Why are you pulling out the popcorn?

All I see is sensible discussion that people can learn from. Nothing was posted specifically against any one person.

If you take healthy debate away and discourage people from posting their views openly (within reasonable parameters of politeness) then you basically wreck a forum.

We are not ten years old around here. We are adults (and teens). It is a *forum*.

People would do well to remember that the way things come across in text can also be dicey and so open to interpretation. Before you assume someone is directing something at you, maybe try and remember that? There is no tone, expression, body language to try and help you understand how they mean something, and emoticons are of limited value sometimes.

Just sayin

Hi,
I'm responding to this part of Sky's post...

"I'm concerned that members here, knowing all the tools to use to reduce frustration, still rant about all their frustrations here. What's up with that? How does it work, that I could know all the coping mechanisms to help me keep from becoming frustrated, because I am responsible for my own experience here, and then elaborate on what and how much I am frustrated? I don't know about that................................................................
Sometimes frustrations come when a member is too emotionally involved in another's post...taking it personally even. Certainly, there is cause for little frustration if one can step back away from the thread... and realize, that unless it is attacking them personally... there's no reason to be frustrated?"

I can relate to that and I think what you wrote Sky, is absolutely true but I think most of us are works in progress and we come to not only support and heal but also to learn.
I have difficulty with expressing myself, trusting others and self control. It's what got me here in the first place. I have those tools you spoke of to utilize but I am still learning how to use them, I'm trying really hard, too. Sometimes I mess up and get flustered. I would think airing out in a post is a way of saying "Help!!! I'm struggling with these tools could somebody reassure and guide me????!!!"
I think compassion is essential. I'd rather people come out and say "Hey, I'm really upset with you guys, you're making me feel bad..." rather then to keep it to themselves and let it eat at the insides of them so they no longer post or even come to PC anymore and then they lose their support system. We all know the Shoulds and Shouldn'ts but we're dealing with fragile humans here and sometimes shoulds and shouldn'ts come secondary to understanding.
I like that Desirae can communicate her desire to feel less invisable. It helped others to express those feelings too whereas before that they may have been too afraid to speak up. It gave me a chance to realize that although I may not know what to say to someone's post or I didn't really relate to it or I don't really know this person, maybe I should stop and put myself out there anyway-even if it's just to give a hug-so that person knows I HEARD them.
It's all I had to say.

I am not taking away a healthy debate... I am just saying "I" have no comment... Others are welcome to state their opinions... I am just saying i have no opinion at this time....
I would gladly share the popcorn tho.......

I never said anything was directed at me.. LOL..... OMG now I am wrecking a whole forum because I have no opnion... merci me.... thinks that is giving me way too much credit... don't ya think>???????

Because I don't have an opinion does not mean that others don't have an opinon...Your right.. this is not high school.. So those who have opinions... please speak up......

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radio_flyer said:
I am not taking away a healthy debate... I am just saying "I" have no comment... Others are welcome to state their opinions... I am just saying i have no opinion at this time....
I would gladly share the popcorn tho.......

I never said anything was directed at me.. LOL..... OMG now I am wrecking a whole forum because I have no opnion... merci me.... thinks that is giving me way too much credit... don't ya think>???????

Because I don't have an opinion does not mean that others don't have an opinon...Your right.. this is not high school.. So those who have opinions... please speak up......

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Why do you think the entire post was specifically directed at you?

It wasn't

But I don't think there was anything in Sky's post that warranted a pm (as opposed to sharing in the forum).

Cool?

(when someone puts in a popcorn icon it suggests to me they are waiting for a reaction ... perhaps my interpretation is incorrect )

for me posting popcorn means I am eating bugs ..... low fat ones hopefully

<~~~~~ it means I'm waiting for someone to say something.

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Why do you think the entire post was specifically directed at you?

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Why do you think I think sky's post was directed at me..??? If you read the posts I have made, you will notice that none of my comments have anything to do with sky's comments..

Maybe I just got in the protective mode for "myself" and thought sky was making remarks about her... I just don't like seeing folks hurt by rude remarks.. maybe i was wrong... Maybe I walked across before looking both ways...

Oh the popcorn... I just happen to like popcorn.. lol and i like the popcorn icon.... No harm intended to anyone... Just munchen on popcorn is all..

I do not like when one member seems to THINK they need to come to the defense of another member. I think issues with any post could/would take it to PM or admin. NOT BE POSTED HERE... Popcorn to me just simply means I am in a mellow mood when I have used it..or really eating popcorn which was the case once.
I agree with a LOT of what Myself has said and Lmo...I feel a lot like Desirae and have seen 0 hugs to a poster that is new but people have viewed it I find that rude and no it was not a hug for me
I do hate to see people threaten to leave and not leave and the fights and the group attacks I could name names by now...I see some posters have problems and few reply they are NEW and have not had time to build a big EVEN STEVEN treasure chest of give and take yet.
I was asked once in Admin what I would like to see done to help the issues in here and I now think anyone not new that starts a fight should be banned for a while. Thats strong and harsh but so many have been here a long time and know better than to attack another poster .
.I always go back to remove *yourself* for a while and USE the ignore button. I can tell you AS a newer person I do not feel very welcomed as a whole and the fights keep me away a lot.
I also think it's a mods call to tell someone a post is off topic , what someone can and cannot post and things that are up to the mods should be in PM sent to a mod. I would like to think the mods would remove repeat offenders That is JMO
I also know wish others would NOT try to change someones opinion and voice theirs ONCE on a topic . Opinions are different than debates

radio that was in response to your post to sky about should be in pm. not that you had no opinion

I was not posting to or about Radio at all.

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radio that was in response to your post to sky about should be in pm. not that you had no opinion

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I am starting to get confused.. uh oh... lol.... I stated that I do not have an opinion at this time.. It is ok not to have an opinion, i think.. maybe i should not have said that i did not have an opinion...

comfort food... smile

PasDeDeux sorry you misread..I was saying that to radio

Bebop cool I just didn't want any issues I have enough as it is

Share that popcorn with ME

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radio_flyer said:
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radio that was in response to your post to sky about should be in pm. not that you had no opinion

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I am starting to get confused.. uh oh... lol.... I stated that I do not have an opinion at this time.. It is ok not to have an opinion, i think.. maybe i should not have said that i did not have an opinion...

comfort food... smile

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here ya goo Pas....... I have lots of popcorn to share....... chow down and enjoy... smilen

lol buggs.... would you care to try some honey covered popcorn???

No bugs for me......more popcorn please and anyone want some malt? I just made one