PC Frustrations

ooooooooh malt... yummmmm ... yes, please

this should hold you over for a bit...

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_Sky said:


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Not really Sky I think someone else...lmo maybe? said to also ..maybe it was Kim? anyhow , they felt mentioning what we like on the thread would be a good idea. Unless I am seeing things and I AM tired so maybe I am. I like the joking and popcorn here in PC

OK - you want to know what really frustrates me..... I am going through a hard time on here right now and I do not have the right to openly talk about it (as to receive support / advice) - for if I allure to it indirectly... people get upset for they think it is about them and yet if I talk about it directly (as to be honest)...

So............... what are we (me) to do in a situation like this? - anyone?

How can we solve the problems / issues between a few on here if we are never allowed to talk about it openly - as to end the battle?

Confused and Bewildered.
Rhapsody -

Rap for ME in your spot. I would just put them and all their friends on IGNORE and not sneak a peek ever again. Things will not change some people see themselves as correct and have no room or desire to change, no matter WHAT you say or do.

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PasDeDeux said:
Rap for ME in your spot. I would just put them and all their friends on IGNORE and not sneak a peek ever again. Things will not change some people see themselves as correct and have no room or desire to change, no matter WHAT you say or do.

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I know..... and I do use my block..... but ppl can still read my post / replies to others and then they can cont' to attack me in an open thread.

IMHO - the ignore button does not solve all....... Sigh!

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I hate being attacked or merely disliked just because I am different or have a different POV or different ways as those that are offended... Sigh!

LoVe,
Rhapsody - (life goes on & so will I)

Lmao yes Radio malt chocolate have some and more salt on that popcorn

SIDE NOTE
BTW.... I was correct it was KD

TO QUOTE HER

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Possibly this thread would give us a good opportunity to discuss what we do obtain from PC as well, and what keeps us coming back?

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SO I love my popcorn and the joking around in here. It keeps me semi sane

Well..... I have had my say on what frustrates me - now I will let it go, as to not get in trouble or create any trouble.

Thanks for the support and for letting me have a say in this matter.

................................. PeAcE Out!

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

The thing is, when one discusses a conflict publicly, it involves those who don't want to be involved, who come here to obtain support and see it given...when it's public it involves MANY more than just those that are directly involved in the conflict (as has happened in recent events and several times prior). A public "quarrel or feud" can affect many more than just those directly involved and generally splinters...keeping it going and upset lasting longer. I've seen it many times.

We have to respect EVERYONE here as PC to the best of our capabilities.

The guidelines were set with GREAT experience in forum operations. They're not going to be the *perfect* answer for all in every instance but are more as a guide to helping PC, and its members have a relatively safe and supportive experience here. If anyone would like to discuss those guidelines, please feel free to contact any member of the administration team.

But for now, the guidelines are as they are.

If anyone has issue with another member, try to keep the guidelines as best as possible and contact a member of the team if it's necessary and we'll do all we can. Alot of times, it might be necessary to use the ignore function...most times just until emotions (strong ones) subside.

KD

(((((Rhapsody)))))

(((((((((Rhapsody)))))))))))) Sometimes some folks can't or just plain refuse to try to get along with someone they may have had a dispute with.....Sometimes it can be a power struggle... Sometimes not......when one wants to try to resolve issues and the other just refuses, there is very little you can do... Some times we just have to look the other way, or "maybe push the no drama button"...

What I do, is pray about it and leave it in God's hands... I still may grumble and complain because it doesn't "instantly" go away or get resolved...This is what seems to work for me best.... and as always... IMHO

While I respect what any moderator or administrator suggests, this thread was begun by desirae regarding frustrations here at PC. IMO discussion of anything else is and hijacking, something frowned upon here.

But, IMO, the example has been given of what does obviously frustrate many members here: those times when a thread has been hijacked for the sake of another's enjoyment.

I would like to share something...personal experience...

Some of those that I've "had words with" have become my strongest support and friends. That's not hope. That's not talk. That's fact. When all was said and done, something brought us together in a stronger, deeper level with a respect that is mind-boggling.

Just sharing...

If more had been said, more hurt words, more hurt feelings, more people involved, it probably never would have happened as it has. In other words, due (in most part) to the guidelines, the damage was contained and I'M SO THANKFUL FOR THAT NOW.

Just sharing...

There are many things that can hurt and upset in the moment due to feelings involved, but the outcome can be worth it if it doesn't go too far and we respect our fellow members.

Des,

I hope that when you feel ignored, you can look back to times that you knew you weren't and grab hold of that. I hope all of us can look to what we gain and the "average" experience and expectations that have kept us here and move toward that place again.

KD

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There are many things that can hurt and upset in the moment due to feelings involved, but the outcome can be worth it if it doesn't go too far and we respect our fellow members.

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whispering ....the malt was delicious... tosses some salt your way and more .... thinking this "off topic" won't been seen if I whisper...

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kimmydawn said:
The thing is, when one discusses a conflict publicly, it involves those who don't want to be involved, who come here to obtain support and see it given...when it's public it involves MANY more than just those that are directly involved in the conflict (as has happened in recent events and several times prior). A public "quarrel or feud" can affect many more than just those directly involved and generally splinters...keeping it going and upset lasting longer. I've seen it many times.

Alot of times, it might be necessary to use the ignore function...most times just until emotions (strong ones) subside.

KD

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Dear KD,

I agree with you 100% on the comment made above.... but on the other hand - an innocent poster, trying to help someone, cannot stop a conflict from occurring if another person comes into the topic / advice being given... that was not meant toward (or for the 3rd party) and yet they take the thread personally and then start to attack the poster.

AND - using the IGNORE BUTTON - does not stop that type of thing from happening.....

I personally do not post to a thread if I find it offensive to me..... but YES I will often post back if I am attack.... BTW - I am trying hard to no longer reply back to personal attacks any more for I see that it creates upset for all here on PC and that is not fair to the other people in the forum.

My Promise..... is to use the Mod / Admin Button when needed (and) to use my ignore button.


Love,
Rhapsody -

thanks, but you can also quote where i said that nothing is 100% in all situations (paraphrasing).

This is an online community with people here from all over the world...literally. sometimes it's easy and great, sometimes not.

Sometimes I have to acknowledge that all I can control is my reactions.

KD

<font color="blue">Yes, Rhapsody I agree.... now that can be frustrating... while someone is attacking (side swiping, inuendo etc) and you are told to ignore them... while they continue to denegrate you in the thread you are no longer reading... in that case, if someone doesn't have "their friends" watching their back, it will continue unmercilously,imo.

Personal attacks are not allowed, but they happen, it's when they are done intentionally and not edited that can also be frustrating? Taking lightly what another member thinks is important, another way to do an end run around for attack, is also unfortunate.

What I don't understand, well yes, I do...because of human nature? is that it doesn't take anything away from me to give support to another person, it doesn't take anything away from me for another member to post to others what they will, it just seems that it bothers some members if they aren't the ones receiving the support.

We all need support here in one fashion or another...some of us are more vocal about what we need than others. It can be frustrating when a member NEEDS support but no one knows it...and then it becomes a huge issue here... I assure you I am doing all I can to give support. I think most members are also doing their best.

Courtesy should be common, imo... but the use of "should" there is obviously glitched. Courtesy has to be learned.. and yes, we are all learning here, as I said. Why the cold shoulder, why the backbiting?

Why can't we all just get along???? Oh, yeah... human nature.

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Rhapsody said:How can we solve the problems / issues between a few on here if we are never allowed to talk about it openly - as to end the battle?

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Rhap has put into words a belief that I think a lot of members share. The idea is that if everyone was just allowed to be open and say whatever they want to each other we'd be able to work through the problems and issues and end the battles. Sadly, experience tells a different story.

If every issue was based on simple misunderstandings, then open communication would be the answer. The reality, however, is that some of the worst problems, issues, and battles are the result of this wide-open communication.

I think this is a little easier to see in our 3D lives. We know that there are people that simply don't like us, and maybe we don't like them. We spend some time and energy trying to bring them around, but we realize that being open and trying to "clear the air" isn't helping. Interactions just lead to more arguments and frustrations. So we back off. Maybe we can approach things again later and the relationship will improve; maybe it won't.

It might be helpful to bring that 3D mode of thinking into the forums. Realize that even in a wonderful place like this, there are people who aren't going to like each other very much--it doesn't mean that either one of them is a bad person, or that we have to spend a lot of time trying to figure out who is right and wrong.

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kimmydawn said:
Sometimes I have to acknowledge that all I can control is my reactions.
KD

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AND - please know that I am listening to the advice given and I am working on being a better ME.


Thank You -
LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

I agree Sky on why can't we all get along.

I do see an issue for having ones FRIENDS watch your back because thats the job of the mods and admin and THAT is where we have a lot of fights. IMHO
I hope people do NOT have friends watch their backs and ALLOW KD and the wonderful admin do their job. There would be a lot less conflict if this were the case.

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I would just put them and all their friends on IGNORE

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> but aren't we all pretty much friends of each other here?

....and Mods aren't everywhere all the time... that's why we have the "notify moderator of this post" at the bottom of each post.... if someone is ignoring another, yet they post something off colored, then who will notify the mod, if not another member of PC????

Thanks (((Rhap)))

In being honest, I want to continue and say...

I don't just backup the guidelines because I think they're rules. I've actually had to apply them, and seen them applied so much to know that *in general/on average* they work for the best of most to all.

We have to maybe look to see that when we post about private conflict with another member to gain support for ourselves, we're also at the same time, flaming the other member(s) potentially and the others involved feel attacked, and even emotionally hurt/harmed. It's more than just getting support. When we do it vaguely, many members can jump on and offer support, not even realizing that they might be hurting another member's feelings...possibly even someone they're very close to. Then that other member gets hurt and can get angry at the members who responded to a vague post. See how it splinters and grows? In a forum, posting publicly involves all on some level...certainly more than just a few.

I think the golden rule is the best rule. That goes back to Des's first post... It made me think and I'm really going to try to respond more. I read ALOT, but have slacked off on my responses and that's something I'm going to work on...starting tonight. There is a reason, but that really doesn't matter now because I think it's becoming a habit...one I don't care for about myself. I'm gonna start putting down the thoughts that I have the those members should hear them, because the thoughts reflect care...smacking my own hand.

KD

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_Sky said:
....and Mods aren't everywhere all the time... that's why we have the "notify moderator of this post" at the bottom of each post.... if someone is ignoring another, yet they post something off colored, then who will notify the mod, if not another member of PC????

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YES.............. please watch my back (and I will watch yours) and let the Mods / Admin know, for if I do not replied back to a unneeded remark it is probably because I am using the ignore button and cannot see the post.... or I have learned not to let it bother me.

Thanks...
LoVe,
Rhapsody -