Dream Interpretation

I think more and more that this topic should have it's own forum...Dreams are always fascinating to me.

I'll keep this short and simple, it was a pretty short dream.

I got a whopping two hours sleep last night. But had dreams every time I dozed off. One was of my Sharks beating MJ's Flyers in the Stanley Cup playoffs (she's thinking, "Oh yeah, he was definitely dreaming..."). The other was one I've had before, and I've often wondered what significance it holds for me.

I've finished designing and having built my dream home. Of course it has a nearly Olympic size swimming pool in a massive back yard. In my dream I've built my new home in the same place that I live now. So, I have a housewarming party and apparently invite all my family, and every person that lives in my neighborhood as they all show up with invitations in my handwriting. I end up with several hundred guests at the party. All thru it, I'm very detatched from everyone there except for my nephew and my brother in law. We three talk all thru my dream. I walk around listening to my family and neighbors talking about how surprised they all were to be invited because I am normally so stand-offish and anti-social. My nephew and bro look at me after every comment and say things like, "That's true you know". This is the gist of the dream, and everything takes place at poolside.

The dream has happened 4 or 5 times before, and always disturbs me. I've always considered myself to be an outgoing person, even if it causes anxiety, I try to be social. I always make people as comfortable as possible in my home. If I try to talk to someone and they make it clear that they don't want the interaction, I'll back of. But doesn't everyone do that? This dream is so opposite of the way I feel that I really am. And does the pool/water have any meaning?

Anybody care to psychoanalyse me? I'd really be interested in hearing any ideas of what you might think this is all about. I'm pretty much clueless...

TIA,
bp

"You might as well learn to like yourself; you have an awful lot of time to spend with you."

I will get back to you on this one, bp. I have some ideas but not enough time right now to write it out. But what do you think it means?

I have dreams every night that i am driving in the dark and i have no head lights and the seat is too far back and i cant reach the brakes, i am ususally lost too...or back in florida where i was born.
every night i dream this at least once.
weird huh?

Lorieann, the only thing I know for sure that I learned while interpreting my own dreams with my T is that a vehicle or a building usually symbolizes your life. I think the rest of your dream is clear with that little hint. I relate. When my life gets out of control, I'm usually in a building that I can't get out of. I just go from room to room. The next room never relates to the room I just left.


"It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."

I agree with you about a form, Greg, as long as no one takes the interpretation seriously.

I have no clue about your dream, though. I think Wendy will have a good response.


"It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."

>> i am driving in the dark and i have no head lights and the seat is too far back and i cant reach the brakes

I used to have a similar dream except my seat is too far forward, and I can't maneuver my legs to operate the clutch. It feels claustrophibic and panicky. The dream used to take place in my real life car.

For me it was clearly a "control" dream... I am a bit of a control freak and the dream represents my claustrophobia and discomfort of loosing control (I am not claustophobic in real life however, but I do experience a sense of claustrophobia in the dream)

I haven't had that dream in a very long time but what is funny is that I am taller now and ride with my seat a bit back. I used to be so small that with the seat pulled all the way up I still had plenty of room. The dreams were so vivid that I would often have to "test" that and remind myself that it was OK before driving anywhere. Now that I'm a little taller I've found that if I do pull my seat all the way up my knees do indeed bang into the dashboard. It is not a scary feeling now but it does remind me of the dream.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

bp

My take on dreams is that you have to figure out what the elements of the dream symbolize for you. I think the same object or event can symbolize different things for different people. Sometimes it takes input from other people to help you analyse the dreams though.

So what does the new house symbolize for you. A comfortable future? More debt and anxiety? Maybe building it on your own lot has something to do with fear of change... getting the new house without having to change your location and friends?

I don't know about the party goers opinions. Is there a fear of being judged? Are you a "people pleaser" maybe afraid that you can't keep up? Or maybe just expressing feelings held back from when you are civil and polite to people in the real world?

Maybe the new home represents success at a new job! Comfort and confidence that you are going to do well? And the party is just a little bit of anxiety that anyone would feel about the new situation and change associated with the new job, and how you want to present yourself to your new coworkers? Getting used to the new people that you have to deal with at your job and how they perceive you?

Just some ideas to think about...

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

Oh yeah, you were definitely dreaming!

Dreams seem to often represent what we are thinking or fearing more than what is reality. My guess is that this dream reflects insecurities about how others perceive you...even though you strive to be social, and clearly the action of inviting hundreds of people to your house would indicate a friendly and sociable person, the people say that you are the opposite. So what people are seeing in you is the opposite of what you are.

As for the presence of your brother-in-law and nephew, you could ask yourself what they mean to you. Since they are the ones who are with you the whole time, it is likely that they represent something very important to you. My one friend used to always say that when you dream of someone you know, they do not represent the person, but some aspect of yourself. Since they are validating everything the other people say, perhaps they represent that part of you that is self-critical.

I googled "dream interpretation", and came up with some dream interpretation sites. I thought it was interesting that they said that dreaming of a swimming pool represented social interactions, since your dream seems to combine the pool with a social event. Also, a house is said to represent your soul or self. It may be interesting to ask yourself why you are dreaming of inviting a large number of people into your "house". This is a total guess, but maybe it has something to do with the boundaries you set (or don't set) with others.

Anyway, that's my two cents...I'm sure others have more experience with this kind of things, so you'll probably get something better from them.

mj

P.S. I have very little experience looking at what dreams mean, because I almost never dream...of course, I know everyone "dreams", but I am never aware of having dreams. My T once wondered what I could be dreaming that I never remembered them. Is it possible to repress dreams?

Wendy, I really don't have an idea what it means unless my view of myself has been inaccurate. Or, I was thinking that maybe I've made so many friendships online, and this dream is trying to tell me to make more in the real world?

Hmmm, I have to think more about this. Thanks Wendy.

Greg

"You might as well learn to like yourself; you have an awful lot of time to spend with you."

Hi lorieann, welcome to the forums BTW. I always have a lot of strange dreams, but until this one, I don't remember any that have repeated themselves. That's why I think it means something.

Your dream sounds almost like the falling dream. You're doing something that you're out of control of, and you can't stop it. I need to find my book about dreams (it's in a box buried in the garage). It tells what certain things in dreams are supposed to mean.

"You might as well learn to like yourself; you have an awful lot of time to spend with you."

Dex,

These are all great ideas and they fit me pretty well. The debt and anxiety, wanting a comfortable future, fear of change, that's all happening in me now. Being judged and a people pleaser stem from always being told by my Mother that I wasn't good enough. I've always been like that, and probably always will.

This is some good stuf Dex, thanks!

"You might as well learn to like yourself; you have an awful lot of time to spend with you."

I love it when you Google MJ...

On the first part about my insecurities, of which I have many, I have to go back to dear old Mom again. She really did seem, looking back on it now, to be on a mission to make me feel real bad about myself, and always let me know I wasn't good enough, didn't matter for what. So you may be onto something here.

My nephew and Brother are the only two positive male influences I have around me in real life. Other than my grandfather, who was my abuser, all of my role models have been women. And that statement alone should explain volumes about me...Anyway, the two of them, and their opinions of me are very important. Again, I think you're on the money here.

I need to think about what you googled. I'm trying to figure out where it fits.

Thanks MJ, I appreciate your time hun.

Love ya,
Greg

P.S. We'll try not to brutalize you too bad in the playoffs

"You might as well learn to like yourself; you have an awful lot of time to spend with you."

hiya BP... I don't know all that much about dreams. The recurring ones definitely indicate something your subconscious is working overtime on.

Maybe it's a fear that is driving that dream. Maybe you try very hard to accomodate because you have a fear about being the opposite way? Just a thought. I really don't know. I figure our subconscious mind tells us stuff when we dream though... for sure.

Hi BP,

I am sorry for taking so long to get back to you on this. My perfectionism has kept me away. There were so many messages on this board that I hadn't read, and I had a presentation to do for one class and a test in another one, .... anyway, I didn't get here at all because I knew I wouldn't be able to read everything and didn't want to miss something because it would all be marked read.

I think that dreams can be very useful, and that your ideas on interpreting your own dreams have more value than anyone else's. Various theorists have had their own ideas about how to interpret dreams, while others really neglect this area.

Freud emphasized dream interpretation heavily. He said that dreams usually involve a regression to infantile wishes and childhood sexuality. Since the unconscious is the most inaccessible part of personality, and dreams allow that part (and specifically the id) to express itself, you can get information through dreams that is otherwise usually blocked, or censored. Freud felt that dreams are triggered by memories of the preceding day that involve important frustrations, and the purpose of the dream is to fulfill these unfulfilled wishes. Although things may not be what they seem to be. So think about what you got in the dream that you were unable to get or do the day before. Maybe just being able to have a big party and have everyone come fulfills a wish for you? There is also symbolism in dreams, and the symbols could be used in a way that is specific to you, so you might consider what the various objects and people in the dream represent to you.

Jung specifically talked about dreams about one's family, friends, and everyday life (which arise from the personal unconscious as opposed to archetypal dreams - which arise from the collective unconscious). Some cultures have considered personal dreams to be unimportant, while collective dreams merit summoning the entire tribe and telling the dream to everybody. I think that reflects cultural values - in our culture we tend to value individualism more, so we would be more interested in personal dreams. Besides wish fulfillment, dreams may express a person's fears, mirror situations in your life, anticipate the future (even provide a warning of impending trouble), propose solutions to your problems, or even result from telepathy. According to Jung, most dreams are compensatory. What you see in the dream may be an exaggeration of the opposite of the direction you need to go. Maybe seeing yourself as being very detached means that you need to become closer to your family and friends. Dream symbols can be confusing because the unconscious is naturally illogical and it does the best it can. Every symbol has at least two meanings, and symbolism is different from one dreamer to the next. Important themes and issues tend to recur in various dreams.

Karen Horney felt that dreams indicate our true feelings.

Erich Fromm also agreed that dreams are very important. He basically agreed with all of the above. Dreams can have obvious and undisguised meanings, and that we can solve problems in our dreams. He said, "We are not only less reasonable and less decent in our dreams but also more intelligent, wiser, and capable of better judgement when we are asleep than when we are awake." So in your dreams you have more accurate perception, and are unfettered by social customs, etc. He also said that it is often not easy to interpret one's own dreams because sometimes we hide the real meaning from ourselves.

According to Erik Erikson, dreams can highlight current problems in the dreamer's life and suggest potential solutions. When you are making an attempt to study your dreams you may dream them just so that you can study them.

An idea from Rollo May is that sometimes you can't have some particular dreams until after you have made an appropriate decision in waking life.

Personally, I see dreams as a safe place to try out new perceptions, ideas, etc., work out your problems, realize how you really see the world and yourself and how you would like it to be different. In your dream, I think that you really would like to build that house and have a big party. And I would guess that you do see yourself as detached from people in your life and maybe you are telling yourself to work on some of those relationships and make them closer. Also, it sounds like you feel more comfortable and closer to your nephew and brother-in-law. I'm not sure what the water means, as I have not gotten into general meanings for specific symbols, but it is entirely possible that it does mean something to you.