venting: crisis line needs better training

Reached out to a crisis line this morning. Mistake... I'm not sure who I was taking to, but he did nothing supportive. In the first 4 sentences I was told I'm just overly sensitive because I'm a woman. I should stop complaining.
Gee, thanks. Way supportive. Why didn't I think of that?
Ugh.

How inconsiderate of that person to say something so harsh (and untrue). Sorry you had to deal with that That person should be reported. I hope you feel better

I think alot of the people at crisis centers are volunteers and don't know what they're talking about even if they mean well!!

I had the same feeling when I phoned in. I don't know what I wanted them to say, but they didn't help me at all. It felt like I was wasting my time. I felt worse and more hopeless when I put the phone down.

I would think they would even train volunteers enough not to say something that insensitive. Sorry they didn't help you in your time of needing support.

Wow, that is out of line. However I hear it all to often. Our crisis line in Erie, PA is known throughout the state as the kindest most supportive organization. I'm sorry you're feeling bad. I hope you feel better soon

I am sorry that you had such a negative experience with your crisis line. I know that many of the employees are volunteers...but still, I would think that they should be trained on how to respond to different types of situations kindly.

Gentle hugs to you ~ I hope that you are feeling a little bit better now. Try to hold onto the good feelings that you've had recently. Even if they come from something small & silly. Like, playing with rocks in a pond; leaves; watching birds and/or other animals ; coloring with crayons. A lot of times, these little things have gotten me through time spent in hospitals as well as time wondering if I should be in a hospital. Basically, it helps a lot!

sorry about the bad experience.

and then people wonder why others start feeling worse. well..

I have had some not-so-helpful experiences on some of the more "legit" lines, but none as bad as this one. It really sucked. It's hard when talking on the phone is difficult, and all the chats are closed. I guess I have to work on my crisis timing. :/
It's sad that anyone with internet access and a phone can claim to be a crisis line (it has awesome potential, but a lack of training can actually make matters worse)...
Anyway, that's the last time I contact them...

I have had some experiences with chat lines that were counterproductive. I ended the conversations because the services that they were providing were worse than dead air.

Wow, that's really messed up. What an unbelievable jerk. It's called a "crisis" hotline for a reason. People don't just call it for nothing. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :/

I would say his ticket is up and he better find a new line of work.

Sorry it couldn't be more apathetic and understanding instead of a creep with too much time on their hands to sound to male domineering..

I am also sorry that you had that experience. I do not mean to sound flippant, but it does not surprise me. I realize that crisis and warm lines have helped people, but unfortunately there are times in which you receive a volunteer/employee who is not helpful. I think that some of them can't empathize with callers when they can't relate to the situation and as a result are unable to provide supportive listening. But that seems to be something that they would think about before they chose to sign up. I have also had bad experiences with those lines. I had one woman say to me,"He probably doesn't!" when I told her that I was seeing someone who seemed to no longer care as things began to unravel. I then called the line again later, maybe a week later, and she said, "I thought that you said that you weren't going to call him for two weeks!" I should have reported her--who knows, I may have and can't recall as it was so long ago.

I have reported the help on these lines if I felt that they went out of their way to be nasty. I had one woman yell at me,"If your job has you calling a crisis line, then you need to find another way to deal with it, or you need to get you another job!" I called back and asked to speak to the director who agreed with me that it was inappropriate and that she would address it with the entire team.

Now, the argument could be made that non suicidal people should not call and tie up crisis lines, however, at that time, I did not know that there was a difference between a crisis hotline and a warm line. It did not give the woman the right to speak to me that way. It also did not justify the man who answered the phone telling me in a cold voice, 'This is a number for people in crisis." I think that I had called that line before and had not been told that it was only for people in crisis. I understand that manning those phones is stressful, but he did not have to be cold about it. I think that they could at least refer people who are not in crisis to warm lines instead of yelling at them, being cold and so on and so forth. Some would say that non suicidial people need to find non crisis lines to call on their own, and I have performed that research in the past.

I would like to add that I did not always have a bad experience when I called those lines. The first time I ever called, I had a very positive experience. What I did not realize then was that the same person is not likely to answer the phone. I have had some people say that they recalled talking to me before--a few were nice about it, some were not.

The good news is that I have a support system that I did not have when I called those lines in the past. I had wondered if perhaps I was oversensitive and I have performed online searches about calling these lines. I was floored to learn that many people reported what I found, that is, that many people have posted on several different websites that either did not find the person they spoke to helpful or in some cases, they found them to be rude.

I did not understand why people would sign up for these lines if they do not want to hear people talk about their problems. Even if they are burning out, people have to be aware of their limitations before taking it out on someone who is reaching out.

I swore once on a call and the woman told me, 'We don't tolerate that kind of language." I was surprised and apologized and she accepted my apology. I only used one swear word and I told her that no one had ever told me that before. She said that the staff did not swear and they asked the callers not to swear. I realize that hearing profanity could be disconcerting, but it seems to be that someone in her position would realize that people calling are upset and may swear. I had two different men tell me that I was the problem and that I needed to be more positive or stop reliving past events, so and so forth. One of the men asked if I was acting toward people the way that I was acting with him. I had moved and had started a new job. My boss yelled at me three times in front of everyone my first week at the new job and I was experiencing severe culture shock. The previous summer, I had an internship in which many things went badly. The man at the warm line did not seem to understand, care, or relate to my frustrations. He told me to stop living in the past and that the internship was over. I was using profanity, which probably did not reflect well on me, but I was thrown off at how badly things were going--one thing after another. He asked if I used that sort of language when I dealt with people, and I said no and he said, "Well, I would hope not." Some may say that I may have put him off by swearing, but he was older than me and could have handled it better. I didn't start yelling and cursing as soon as he answered the phone. I was very agitated at how badly things were going for me.

I should not have sworn and it probably did not reflect well on me, but he and the woman could have said, "I realize that you are upset, but I will have to ask you to please refrain from using that type of language."

I think that the response that callers receive depends on who answers the phone that day. As I found in my research, many people call those lines not because they are suicidal, but because they have become isolated and have no one else to talk to as they try to navigate their way through the challenges that life sometimes throws at us.

The negative experiences that I had made me wonder what type of training the phone staff received. I agree that they needed to receive better training. I think that it takes a certain type of personality to take the work on. They need empathetic listeners and people who don't judge. If a person can't set aside his or her own personal opinions or objections, then they don't need to join these lines.

I feel your pain. Am sorry it happened to you too. I called before going into the hospital and was told they could do nothing for me, but to try another crisis line in my state. ( My cell phone number is not in my state, so they couldn't help me) seems kinda defeating, but you can make the best of it. Be strong and believe there are people who care.

I contacted an administrator of the hotline in which the woman reprimanded me for swearing. The administrator said that they did have a no profanity policy and that the counselors are trained to let the caller know after the first occurrence to keep the nature of the call respectful for both parties. But she also told me that the counselor should not have reprimanded me and was only supposed to gently remind me of the policy. She apologized and said that she hoped the experience would not deter me from calling the hotline again--not that I feel that I need to at this point.

There are some decent help lines out here, but they are hard to find. I think that people are better off finding good friends rather than taking their chances on with these phone lines. And believe me, I am in no way simplifying finding good friends as I know how hard they are to find and keep throughout life.

Sorry for your poor experience. I work as part of a crisis line and dealing with other crisis lines I can say I'm not too surprised. Some people have awful phone ettiqiette and are just not competent clinicians. I hope this poor experience has not deterred you from seeking help in the future. There may be other support lines in your area, look into that.

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rutgers07,

Have you ever heard some of the less competent phone counselors explain why they choose to volunteer at crisis lines? I was curious as to why they would sign up if they are going to be dismissive and insensitive toward callers.

Wow, a crisis line sounds just like prozac side effects: "this medicine can help you or can cause you a severe depression, or irritation or some other bad things".... make sure you take this medicine along with visiting a therapist, in case he needs to get you out of the mess the medicine caused you....

I guess, if you don't have a therapist, don't call the hotline or else...

It seems so elementary: don't be rude when you're talking to people who are ready to go over the edge...

I was given a number to call in crisis one time. One time I was not suicidal, but still in crisis. I was desperate, so I called and was asked if I saw a therapist, when I said yes, they told me to talk to them and hung up. I couldn't get I. To see my therp for two weeks and that is why I called. The other 2 times I called a crisis line when I was suicidal, I wanted them to talk to me but all it seemed they wanted to do is figure out where I was so they could call the police. BS.

Just to be clear Red, I am not a volunteer but an employee of a local mental health agency. In my state, you cannot be a crisis worker unless you work with a designated mental health agency.

As to your question, I can't say that I know. I think part of the problem is their training. The easy answer to life's problems seems to fall to something like, "just get over it," when of course it's not that simple. Without proper education and clinical experience, it's difficult to provide mental health support over the phone since it is very tricky to do. I'd suspect that those folks believe what they are saying is truly helpful and do not have the guidance or supervision to be told otherwise.

Thanks for the clarification on your position.

As I came across more ineffectual phone counselors, I began to suspect that training, or the lack of training could be a problem. I gathered that some of them may have meant well, but crossed over into being overly opinionated. Some were just nasty, and that to me is a different story.

I think that a dialogue on this topic is important so that people realize that they are not alone when they have a less than positive experience during these calls.

I'm sad for all the bad experiences that have been expressed. My point of view comes from that of a volunteer. I first took a crisis line training course 35 years ago. We had to take 40 hours of training before answering a call. We were screened before being accepted into the program.

The second program I volunteered for had 50 hours of training. We were all volunteers. We took crisis calls as well as meeting sexual assault victims at the hospital. We went through the whole process with the victim.

These crisis lines were in different parts of the country. I mention it bkz so much has been said about the lack of training. The teams I worked with met every 2 weeks to process the calls. However, if someone needed to talk after a difficult call or a call out someone was always available.

My belief is there are more people helped than harmed by crisis lines. The great majority of callers didn't have therapists. There is no program that is going to be spot on all the time. I am sorry you all had such negative experiences.

Sabra

When you say process the calls, Sabra, you mean that the volunteers reviewed the calls and what the callers had to say? Some people have expressed privacy concerns when calling these lines and tend not to use their real names. As you said, the programs vary from state to state and some callers have been concerned if their calls were being recorded. I also take it to mean that you all asked people if they had therapists? It also sounds like the centers you worked for permitted volunteers to take a break if they felt overwhelmed with the calls and if that is the case, then that is great.

I am just curious as it is interesting to hear from those who have actually volunteered on these lines. It is interesting to learn their insight.

I agree with you that no program will be spot on all the time. The programs that you volunteered for appear to have made a concerted effort to help callers, and I find that commendable.

I'm not sure about other lines, but I worked as a domestic violence counselor at one point during school. Answering the crisis line was one of the responsibilities of the job. That particular line did not take volunteers but relied on employees and interns to man the lines. We not only had specific DV Crisis training, but were all also in school for some aspect of mental health work or another. We processed calls in supervision.

I can imagine many crisis lines offer similar debriefing to their volunteers. It's not so much giving specific details as it is going over the volunteer's/employee's responses, and any emotions that may be brought up by responding to a specific call... I know most lines honor confidentiality within the bounds of the laws of that state/region. Most do not record calls or track the calls outside of keeping data on the number received and the nature of the calls. They know a lot of people would not call if their information was being recorded and kept. The DV crisis line I worked for recorded info, but only if the callers chose to give it. I had a form I needed to fill out, but I had no way of knowing the accuracy of the info being given me. We did that because it was often the way clients entered our services (and we had to report our stats to the national domestic violence services providers organization (I think it's DDVAC?) for accreditation purposes).

I rarely give accurate personal info when calling a crisis line unless it's connected to a specific provider of mine...

I understand, MdngtRain and I appreciate your response . On one of the more low quality lines, I had the woman abruptly ask for my name. She did not say, "I did not get your name" or "may I have your name, please." She just blurted out, "your name?" On the same line, I had another woman ask me, "where are you calling from?" and mentioned that the caller ID displayed my state. Maybe there were trying to see if I was looking to enter their services, but as we have posted within this thread, they handled it poorly.

Some people are just not suited for certain jobs or positions.