Jared did something STUPID.

Im posting this here because in relationships, it got no comments. Well, Im worried about my boyfriends past drug use. We both have a drug problem, but we decided to be sober for eachother. But after 3 months of a very strong love, he broke up with me. It was awful. I look at places in my house, I see us kissing, and him proposing (it was cute but pretend) and him giving me the gifts...I miss him, and he dumped me just last night. But now that he doesnt have me, what if he goes back to drugs? I just want to be with him. I love him, and I dont love easily, (past rape and sexual abuse) After it happened, we were talking on myspace about it, and this is what happened in the short:
me: 'i cant believe its over. it was nice wasnt it? its just weird thinking u dont miss holding me or kissing me. ' and then he replied with 'maybe i do :/' and today i was checking my myspace and he had said 'well maybe i just need a little break and maybe i will see if i miss u and we will see wut happens then but 4 now i just need 2 b free !!!!!! ' (((i copied and pasted that for his exact words)))

i just feel like i have no confidence anymore. like if i was to walk into a room of girls, i wud feel horrible not having my boyfriend to comfort me, or to say "i have a boyfriend, and I LOVE HIM"...u no wut i mean? i called a guy from my old treatment center, it was helpful talking to him, i mite call him again. wen i wanted to go, he said that i shud keep talking to him! i did not expect that! he really did care for my safety. but the point is, i miss my boyfriend, its only the first day, plus my cousin is comming tonight from new jersey. BAD TIME..ING but ugg. i want to stay strong and get over thism but i want to get back with him, BUT i dont want to get hurt again. wut do i do?

Emily, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time of it... but IMO, now that you and your boyfriend are "sober," maybe you're seeing the real person. The two people NOT under the influence of drugs aren't compatible!

I had my boyfriend (now my husband!) break up with me when we were in college. We were high school sweethearts, but he thought we should see other people since we had really only been with each other. I was crushed, but I had my dignity & wasn't going to go chasing after him or mooning over him.

I tried to enrich my life with other friends, worked hard on my studies & even dated a few other guys. I felt like no one compared to my boyfriend, but I somehow had this feeling that if we were meant to be together, we would be--kinda like a destiny thing.

Well, after a few months, he called me & wanted to see me again. He realized that we were the best for each other. By this time, I had gotten a little more independent (which was good--I was too dependent on him) & I told him I wasn't ready to get back together. I still needed to explore more & grow more.

Well, he kept calling & we just talked on the phone (I transferred to another college in another state after the breakup). After a few months of that he flew down unexpectedly & begged me to come back to him. I waited until the semester was over & transferred back to the same college as him, we got married a year later, & here we are at 32 years of marriage. That doesn't mean we don't have our ups & downs (I'm bp, how could we not?). Some of them have been severe, but we're still together.

So maybe you want to think about the destiny thing & that this might be an opportunity for your personal growth. I know it hurts, but be strong, keep your dignity & enrich your life.--Suzy

Sorry, I still can't find this original post in relationships, as I was wondering why it didn't pull any comments.

Three months is not a strong love. Sorry.

I'm sorry you are hurt, that is never a welcomed thing. Please try to take care of yourself first, before reaching out to fill in the voids. I hope you will see that this person just isnt' right for right now.

Use this free time to make yourself a better person, confident alone without having another. TC

Hi Emily,

First, I want to Welcome you to PC.
Second, I am sorry that you didn't get any responses in the other forum. I don't understand that.
Third, and foremost, I am VERY PROUD of you for kicking the drugs!! That is so GREAT!! You should also be very proud of yourself. It isn't an easy thing to do!
Now, IMHO, I do believe your bf will be back. It sounds like he is already sorta regretting leaving. I do hope that he stays off of the drugs while he is away from you. It sounds like he just needs a little time to himself to think things through. It could have easily been you leaving him for the same reason.
Alot of people need time when they are confused about things and with him being sober, he may be afraid of the future.
I wish all the best for you whether your bf comes back or not. Try and keep yourself busy and doing positive things. IF he does want to come back, don't take him back if he has gone back on drugs! Don't put yourself through that again. You need to stay around sober people and doing sober things.
Good luck to you and let us know how things turn out.
Hugs,
Linda

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Im posting this here because in relationships, it got no comments

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It isn't there, you didn't post it. I am posting about this to help you realize that we can't answer a post that isn't there... to help you feel better, that we aren't ignoring you? Perhaps you tried to and deleted it or wrote it in a PM or something else.

TC

yea, my computer hasnt been working so well. im having the computer guy come here next week. sorry bout that u guys! anyways, the jared problem is over. he called me and told me he realized he really does love me, and apologized, i said id get back with him, but he still has to make up for it some how. thanks for yalls support. love yall.

first of all hon you can't be responsible for his sobriety. if he starts using again being alone it is not your fault. good luck and you keep up the good work!

Hello Emily I am sorry to hear that you and your boyfriend broke up last evening. I hope that you realize that your boyfriend needs a break and there is nothing with wanting a break every now and again. Just keep in touch with him if you want to but you should not pretend that this is not happening, and you Still need to address your drug history and your mental health with your counselor, to make sure you are well and safe. You can not be in a relationship just to save or help someone else when you have mental health issues and drug issues yourself, and you need to be concerned about your own well being at this time. Take care Emily I hope the best for you. Sincerely Soidhonia