[wisewoman]

2 sisters found my seclusive brother with schizophrenia dead today in his home. He had not let people in in over 20 years but did shop for food and essentials with my sisters. He was untreated for three years. He refused to be treated. He had other illness, undiagnosed. was dead for 48 ish hours. Cancer? Also had Reynards poor sisters, the youngest has taken care of him all of her adult life. He would have been 50 in March. He finally leaves two brothers to have their own age for the three months of the year that they were all the same age.

This is not grief, it is not sorrow, it is plain and simple general life. How do we choose to live? Who do we choose who to let in or near? How do we justify our own choices and cruelty? We must meet our self's in the mirror someday.

Have we caused pain by are actions or thoughts? Then let it go now because we may have already ran out of time. I have no feelings of wishing different actions from me. I am relieved that his suffering is done and my fear of him harming someone in a delusion are not met with reality.

I have not known him in 25 years or more. I could deal with strangers with this illness but he scared me and so I chose not to deal. It's all okay in the end as life begins anew.

[lenjan]

((((((((WW)))))))) I'm sorry.

Love, Candy

[EJ711]

Wise Woman,

I'm so sorry for your loss!

Thanks for letting us know, so we can support you at this difficult time.

Hugs,

EJ

[darkeyes]

((((((((( WW )))))))))))
This is very sad,but perhaps his tortured soul has been set free? I dunno, but we never know.
Please take care of yourself now.
My thoughts are with you, dear one.

[wisewoman]

Thanks Jane, It is not a time of grief for me but of learning. I have power in my life to give out sweets for a sweet life and protein for nourishing that life. It is a passage in history. I am finding words hard,

wisewoman,

I'm so sorry.

You have always been so supportive of me over the loss of my brothers.

If I can do anything at all for you...I'm here.

Thinking of you,

Petunia

[wisewoman]

darkeyes, indeed free with his intelligence to soar, no more crushing pain. Limbs amputate, pain, fear. He is free.

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((wisewoman)))))))))))

[Danialla]

I do not have the words to comfort, but the post about your brother made me very sad.

I am sure his tortured soul is finally at peace. I hope that you can find peace in that also.

[wisewoman]

thanks purple petals.

wisewoman, I am sorry to hear.

But as others say, perhaps now he is in a place where he can just be without what clearly was difficult for him.

[Boopers]

WW, my heart is with you.

May your fears be no more.

Sending you hugs,

(((((((((((((((((((((((((WW)))))))))))))))))))))))

[gardenergirl]

wisewoman,
Your words move me. You are indeed a wise woman.

I'm sorry for the difficult time you and your family are facing.

So many challenges on this journey we're all on. Joy too. May you find moments of joy with each new turn of the path.

Namasté

gg

[wisewoman]

Thank you Wanttoheal and
Danalla. I appreciate the kind words. Indeed less suffering tonight, and a little less creativity.

[jacq10]

((((((((((((((wisewoman)))))))))))

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss ...

[FaithisAlive]

You are in my prayers and in my thoughts..... FaithisAlive

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((( wisewoman ))))))))))))

Please know you're in my thoughts right now. You're words touched me greatly as well.

I felt very much the same way with certain parts of my father's passing.

I wish, most of all, a peace.

KD

[JustAPixie]

I'm so glad to hear you are taking all of this so well... I am sorry for the loss you have experienced, but glad that you cope with it?

[wisewoman]

Boopers, Rainbowz, GG, jacqu10, Faith's alive and K.d., thanking all and hoping not to mis anyone for the kindness you are sharing in your words with me. It is weird as I am obviously trying to process in my sleep what I can't while awake. Thus the sleep does not wish to come.

I did not know this man. he died to me a long time ago. I have memories, some of them hilarious and some quite painful. I have some awareness of his soul from back then, that he understood and felt deeply before the disease took him away. We hung a bit shortly those many years ago. He was not afraid of me.

The sad part for me is to be dead, alone, for so long with-out anyone knowing. However, I am sure he wished it so, He could not have accomplished such a vulnerable deed knowing others were around.

[Sabrina]

(((Wisewoman)))

he died to me a long time ago.

Did you grieve that loss back then, wisewoman? For that is sure to come back too.

Your outlook is such that I believe you will find peace. But for now, take good care.

Petunia

[Fuzzybear]

((((((( Wisewoman )))))))

your user name,"Wisewoman" has always impressed me and your words concerning your brother are illuminating for me and others.....please let me know if i can do anything for you. love you, pat

[froggie2]

((((((((Wisewoman))))))))) Hearing your story and your brothers suffering only reafirms for me the need to Remember that we never really understand the crosses each of us must bear at times and how we need to treat each other gently.

[wisewoman]

Pet, I do believe he died to me many years ago, yes, I grieved, I raged, I pitched a royal fit. For many reasons. The feelings now are that of adjustment. Oh, so now we are 8 sibs. That first loss of a sibling is a strong mark in history am I correct? The travel now is about the rest of the families' perceptions of their grief and my brother's life.

Fuzzy, thanks for the hugs... Always use hugs.

Pat, thanks for the compliment. Though I am not sure it is earned. I will say that I have had to dredge these waters so many times that now it is almost practiced.
I am glad I gave him no additional pain to suffer and that I at least had some comprehension of his suffering.
He also had a comprehension, an innate understanding and empathy to those around him when he wasn't on high alert frightened. He saw and knew a lot he could never express. He was very loyal. I am learning that he cared deeply for my baby sister's oldest and that makes me joyful that he could give her that. Of course it also means she is suffering with loss but the gift is greater then the loss.
So not as black and white today. His life had value still even if it was difficult for me to share in that. He was still a genius and a great tinkerer.
Anyways, thanks Pat. Remind me to tell you the funny thing about your name as well as your daughter's.

Peace, thank you all for reaching out. I am sure this will be an interesting time as the message sinks in here.