[InACorner]

I dont really know where to put this...maybe it would be better someplace else..if so i dont care if you move it or not...i just dont know why i am acting the way i am and need responses

I have been sick...from my lump to all those things i had earlier and still wont go away fully...aching joints...chronic pain in the right side, no going the bathroom..have gone two weeks without going...and can ONLY go if i drink cranberry juice. I have been desperately trying to get better and have always been met with resistant. I have gotten yelled at to just get better...i have been told to eat..even though it hurts...i have been told to suck it up. When i was originally sick...I was lying in a fetal position on the floor becuase the pain was so bad....and i was having a water bowel....and my boyfriend and his parents said..ah its nothiing....just dont worry about it...ended up having to go to the ER...the RN wanted me to go to a specialist to check out the pain in my right and left side. Well to get to the REAL point, Im very angry. My boyfriends sister is now complaining of pain in her stomach. (Not to mention the two hamburgers and three sodas she had) All of sudden the family is in an UPROAR...we gotta go to the doctors now...we gotta take her here...gotta take her there....her appendix might have burst. Whole big family reunion in the bedroom while their mom ( she is a certified nursing asstistant., thats what i am...we are practiced to take CARE of people not diagnose them or check them out) but their mother thinks she is qualified...though i should remind her she told me to drink soda.....and the RN later told me to say away from it like fire...anyway...I dont know why i am angry....i guess i am happy that she is getting help...but what about me? I had to BEG them to sign a paper that i give them money every month to make my insurance pay alittle lower...and it got so bad if that i asked again id have to leave....is this normal to be self obessed like this? No body even tried to take care of me..im still sick..but they dont care...they didnt even get out of their bed while i was writhing of the floor of the bathroom and the bedroom...im hurt i guess...its not fair...i want people to care about me to want to help me and me not have to force them to help me...i wouldnt have gone to the ER if i hadnt forced my boyfriend to take me and have his parents agree. I got screamed at for being in pain laying on the couch and when i moved i would cry. And i cant even tell my future in laws about my lump.....my boyfriend even agreed that they would say how ironic it would be that i have a lump now that my future mother in law has cancer....maybe its my fault...maybe im to self involved...i just wanted my pain to go away and everyone screamed at me and gave me more stress and hated that i lost 20 pounds and ive been sick..but their daughter gets sick (go figure like i said after eating two hamburgers and three sodas) I dont know...i feel bad for her i really do.....i want her to get better and i offered her tips..not that she took any of them...i always give my advice to everyone...but its never taken. Why cant people just want to help me like they help others...im a really screwed up thinking these self involved thoughts or is this normal? Id love any kind of response.
Thanks love, Inny

[(JD)]

(((((hugs)))) IMO you're overthinking. I can do it too, btw, but I have a T to stop me.

When we expect others to understand, when we want and expect them to help us, and they don't we turn the anger at them inwards on ourselves...usually.

Try and forget about them for a bit? Focus on yourself, and what you need and what of that you can do for yourself. Make some difficult decisions -without them bothering you - for good self care.

IF you could have what you need, what would it be and can you arrange it for yourself? Relying upon others who just don't get it is very frustrating!!! YOU get it. YOU understand... now go after it. Find professionals and add them to your support team. Sounds to me like you don't yet have any support team.

I think 3-5 people who you can rely upon for support would be a good number. And each one doesn't have to be totatlly supportive, but at least in one area of help that you need... if the people around you won't understand and help, then find some who will.

TC

[caramelcreme]

sometimes people feel inadequate to help with unexplained illness. maybe your family just don't know what to do or say and feel awkward so they do nothing. i really don't know what's going on with your family but the main thing is that you are in pain and you need help and you want to feel nurtured.

sometimes when people don't think to give that help or don't know how to offer it you need to ask for it. and it sounds like you do need to go to the doctor or some other professional to get all this looked at. 2 weeks without going to the toilet??? that sounds like something that should be looked at sooner rather than later

sounds like your bf is a good support so for now forget everyone else. sometimes people fall short of our expectations. just do what you can to take care of yourself and good luck!

[Soidhonia]

Hello INA>
I hope this doesnt sound too insensitive since I mean the best regards for you INA. INA YOU are an adult and in order to help yourself feel better you really need a support system for yourself, and to remember that you are the most inportant thing in your life. You should not concentrate too much on what others think or feel, it is how you think and feel that is important at this time. Your therapist can help you disregard some on the unnecessary worring about others intentions and FOCUS ON INA. I hope things get better with your health and other issues, but it is okay to get the help you need to feel supported and concerned over so you dont have to worry about what others think about you to thois degree.. YOU are what is important not others needing another agenda to exist. INA needs to take care of INA and get the help INA needs at this time. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((inny)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

what ive learnt from my own experience is that i could never and still cant rely on my family
nor any one elses
they just never got me

but i found friends that even thou they didnt fully understand stick by me and when i need something they support me in it cos they know i know whats best for me

if ur bf can support u without full explanation then use him and not cleaner lady

and remember u have us here as support
also use T pdoc gp

and if u need to go to er go u dont need a mother to make that choice ur an adult as soidhonia says and u decide whats best for u

[January]

((((((((( Ina)))))))))))

I'm sorry you have been so sick. I hope you get all the help you need to get better quickly.

Iny, I am horrified at the way these people have mistreated you during your illnesses. Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life tied to that family?

You are a human being who deserves to be respected and supported in your illnesses and in life in general. If you don't have that support, it's time to think about some serious changes in how you are living.

Gentle hugs,

Jan

[Wants2Fly]

I'm sorry to hear that you've been sick, and I hope you get better. Take care of yourself.