I feel like I need to stay from PC. I don't think it's helping me. I need something that deals with anger issues and I don't feel like that need is being addressed here at PC.
This is not one of those "poor me-I'm not being noticed so I'm going away" posts. It's more like-My mental health issue is being treated like a red headed step child and I am not at all happy about it so I need to go and try to find another site that deals with it but before I do, let me make one last ditch effort 'cause I really like this place and I like the people and I don't want to have to leave...


PC won't put in an "anger management" category but there's one for Spirituality-which I think is strange since we're not supposed to discuss religion. (NO offense, PLEASE-I have nothing against the religious people here-I just distinctly remember reading in the rules that we weren't allowed to discuss religion here on PC.) And there's one for sexual content and they'll even give teens their own chat room... but, God forbid-"we cannot address your anger directly" it's gotta be hidden under some other category and good luck as to trying to figure out which category your anger issue fits under.

Totally ignoring anger as an issue under mental illnesses is a little like saying there's something sooo wrong with anyone who has anger-well, we won't/can't even discuss it.


I'm tired of everyone elses needs being met and categories under every other subject under the sun except anger. Doc John do you have issues with dealing with anger and people who have anger issues? I think it's a slap in the face when you look at ALL of the other categories but you cannot fit "Anger Issues" in the menu?

So, I'm angry (not surprisingly) at PC and I don't want to be someplace that addresses EVERYONE ELSE'S needs but those who are dealing with serious anger issues. With the increase in violence and the need for more and more anger management classes in our world-you might think anger would be a topic on top of the list.

More then likely I'm out of line and I deserve to have this post deleted but I am feeling left out and I've tried saying it in a nice, non aggressive way but it was basically just pushed aside and we were told, put it under another heading 'cause having an anger category is going to cause problems. Oh really? Like other categories don't cause conflict?

With an anger category we have some place to put our anger-where, if a member doesn't want to have to deal with aggression or foul language-they will already know to avoid the area.
And it won't be place to pick fights with people, it would be a place to talk about your anger- to vent about it and what it does to your relationships and your life in general. A place where we could give each other tips on how to calm ourselves down.

A place were all anger can be directed-say if someone is responding to a thread and they're mad about the subject-not a person posting about the subject and it's taking away from the subject itself because the anger is upsetting other members then you can just simply tell them to post their anger about this issue in the anger section. This way, the person with the anger can still express themselves but the post subject itself won't have to be swallowed up by a member/s anger on the subject.
I'm not saying it should be a place people can go crazy and be disrespectful to others. It's just sometimes I'm so hyper conscience other's being offended by any anger in my post/response under other headings that I have to censor myself to the point where I'm thinking "oh forget it" and I end up just not responding or writing the post at all. I want to be able to say God damn without feeling I've offended someone who's religious. You know? They have their religious category-nobody curses there and that's great but why can't I be able to post without being afraid of saying something not etiquitte or polite when I'm in a rage and just simply need to express my emotions without having to edit 'cause I'm trying to be respectful of other members. Why isn't MY ANGER being respected as an emotion that I'm ALLOWED to have?

You wouldn't tell someone who's suffering from anxiety- "Go and discuss your anxiety issues under another heading, an anxiety thread would make people who post under it anxious and we can't have that so, just choose a category the anxiety is in relations to and post under that category."
I mean really. Cut me a break.

I don't accept your reasons for not opening an anger category for us to post under. People get mad under other posts and I don't see anyone deleting those categories. Why is anger being treated like leparcy?
I need a site that accepts my anger and is interested in helping me deal with it straight on instead of hiding it in the folds of the site.
I don't mean to be disrespectful to anyone on PC, members, mods nor administration. I apologize if I have offended you. I'm really frustrated with this so my way expressing my exasperation on the subject may not have been well described but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say well enough not to be offended.
My anger may be a grade b or c subject to you but to me- it's ruining my life and I'm asking for help. Direct help from people who will deal with it head on without running away from it, treating it like it's a disease or just totally ignoring it like everyone else does to me. Could someone please just listen to me when I'm angry and just let me be angry?

Have you done a search?

I believe I've seen anger discussed in the Psychotherapy forum.

They opened an anger thread? No, I haven't seen it. Okay, if there is one, GREAT!!!! I'm a very, very happy camper.

I don't see it.

If you're talking about the Dr Clay thread it did not help me at all. I'm talking about anger being listed as a category under the menu. Like "Anxiety" or "Depression".
Not just a thread about anger under a heading dealing with another mental illness issue.

[pegasus]

From my understanding anger can be discussed in any of the forums. Anger is an emotion- yes.

As long as you put a trigger sticky on it and maybe a warning to other members what your anger is about. It is ok to express anger as long as it is not directed at any member in particular.

I think the guidelines are clear on what we can and can't post.

Might be an idea to send a PM to admin but anger can be discussed here at Psych Central.

I'm sure it was there recently....but if not, why not start one now?!

[Raynaadi]

(((( Pickle ))))

I'm really not sure how to respond....I only vaguely remember the discussion in the past about having an anger forum, so I don't remember details and wasn't part of the mod team then.

I can completely understand your frustration at not having a labled forum to vent anger....I guess for me, if I have an issue that doesn't fall under its own category, I post it in the category closest, or here in General. Usually when I'm angry, I'm angry at something. That something most likely falls under one of the categories here....like I'm angry in a relationship, or with family, or at my medical condition, etc, so I can post in those forums pertaining to the thing I'm angry at.

For me, I need to figure out what I'm angry at or I can't fix it. I find that I'm able to best fix it by venting about whatever I'm angry at to people who understand, and that's where the individual forums come in handy.

I think at PC, we really try to focus on the solution and trying to recover as best we can. Having just an anger forum would only focus on the negative emotion of anger, not the cause, and therefore no solution.....I'm speaking strictly for myself I suppose, and since these days I'm solution based, I like to take whatever I'm angry at to the people who can help me work through it.

PC doesn't have the everything for everyone....if I don't get an answer here, I look elsewhere.

Like Pegasus said, its perfectly fine to express anger here, just like the many threads you see that simply say "rant" or something like it. The most help comes from expressing why you're angry, getting to the root of the problem, and talking about it with others who have been there.....thats what we are here. Just a bunch of people sharing experiences.

I hope that helps in some kind of way......

~Rayna

[selfy]

i think we should have a forum labeled 'rants' so that ppl can come in and just rant their heart out. tc all
self

[Fuzzybear]

i agree with you whole heartedly. i lived with someone who was tormented by anger issues. i don't think an anger management forum is a place to argue at all... if someone said that then they aren't considering the actual idea IMO. But i don't see other categories either.. like suicide. It doesn't need to be a place where people can get attention by making real or empty threats, it could be a place to talk about suicidal ideation and how to handle it. i have no desire to die but i have trouble with those thoughts, having a place here would be nice. It's true that no place accomodates all interests but it's kind of hurtful to be told to just go elsewhere.

So i am with you about this. Have you asked docJohn directly?

are you angry at PC, Doc John, or at yourself for being so angry?

are there any anger management classes anywhere near you?

i think that probably an anger/rant forum would be a good idea. i've read some of your posts and didn't respond because i wasn't sure how to do it.

there are NO quick fixes for anger management. there is a book called "The Dance of Anger" that i read years ago. it helped me. i'm going to be real honest with you here, thinking that you expect that, and say that i believe that Dr. Clay's book would be good for any of us. especially, if we could do our own interpeting with him moderating and leave the explanations and answers to him. i find him to be a very credible authority on self-help.

no one is going to cure you. you have to be way over 50% of the cure yourself. and if you keep throwing stuff back, what's going to stick? i liken it to a photographic process where some people throw a wet print up on a dry surface and when it is completely dry and ready, it falls off of the surface. i know that may be a stretch, but you have to follow a process, mostly on your own, to work on a problem that has consumed you.

no, i'm not saying that no one needs help with anger....i'm trying to help guide you in finding some answers. pat

[(JD)]

(((hugs))) Anger is an emotion...and in the meanwhile, why not continue to post in the self help forum? I'm trying to see how it's differs... for depression(sadness) and anxiety we have medications for them, but for anger? I guess it's more like "hate" and needs to be addressed that way? I'm interested in DocJohn's thoughts on this one

pickle, I it is an excellent idea. like you said it would be a place to vent not actually have an argument. i think it is an emotion, therefore should have it's own forum. also, i dont want to see you go cos i luv ya. pls pm doc john about this.

good luck, jinnyann xoxoxoxoxoxxo

[nothemama8]

confused, do you want a forum to learn how to deal with anger or a forum just to rant and be angery in?

By any chance are you taking welbutrin?
I took it and ...it made me angry and hyper all the time...and i'm not like that.
so i stopped taking it...and as soon as i did, things went back to normal.

[Rapunzel]

I think that a lot of the concern that some of us have is that if we had an anger forum, it would be a place where people would rant and complain, and others would join in, and I don't think that we would have enough flame-retardant gear to go around.

Pickle, I know that you are being heard. I'm just speaking for myself here, okay? I think that anger management is great, and we all could benefit from learning more about it. I just think that if there were an entire forum for anger, it would be like an invitation for people to take out their anger on us and each other. Maybe it wouldn't be, but I think there is a risk. Also, anger is an acceptable topic on any of the forums. You are welcome to start a thread to talk about any of your feelings, anyplace where it seems appropriate. The self-help forum seems particularly good, but it could be relevant anyplace else too. You don't have to limit yourself to a thread that is already going. As long as you keep it within the guidelines and avoid bashing anybody, particularly other members here, I don't see it being a problem. There are other sites that deal with anger more specifically, so maybe branching out would be a good idea too. I hope that if you do, you will come back to PC and share what you learn.

TC,
Rap

[TYMBERWOLV]

Pickle,

I totally agree with this thread .... When I first came here I was looking for a place to displace how Ifelt about anger...

To be honest i have found that some members here have helped me deal with my anger problems .....

Funny thing about this is I help teach anger management and i would offer to give you some pointers on how i learned how to manage anger the emotion .....

Anger is ok anger out of control is bad ......

so if u want to talk feel free to just send an pm i wouldnt mind sharing my achievements with you or any member in PC

Tymber

[DocJohn]

There are two separate issues here -- a place to "rant," and a place to learn anger management techniques. Learning to deal with your own anger, like learning how to deal with your own panic, anxiety, depression, communication issues, etc. is considered a self-help technique and is covered by our Self Help forum, hosted by Dr. Clay. It is a great place to go and post your own efforts at learning anger management techniques, ask for others' techniques, and offer one another support in learning to better manage your anger.

Why don't we separate out "anger" for special self-help attention? Well, as you pointed out, in order to get help for anger, it's really best if there was something more than just expressing it. Anger management techniques work to help a person not just alternative ways of expressing their anger, but also channeling it into more constructive energies. And learning how to identify anger triggers ahead of time and plan accordingly. All of which is best done with people who know anger management techniques and can help one another. I feel, for now, that "Self Help" is the best place for it, and also because I haven't had a huge outcry (before this post) for an anger forum. This could easily change in the future.

As for a place to "rant," we do allow people to do so in the community, we just don't have a specific forum to do that in. I'm not sure what the purpose of such a forum would be, other than to keep all the "ranting" together, but the point of that would be...? Not sure, I don't see it, so we would encourage people to continue to use whatever forum they feel is appropriate to post their rant (e.g., if it's related to their depression, then the depression forum; if it's related to their meds, the meds forum; etc. etc.).

Thanks for the feedback,
DocJohn

me too... some of us have trouble expressing anger.. ie... having a ED and "eating anger" cause they can't express it..

a rant and rave... well that would help some to understand that anger is useful and for others that it needs to be under certain guidelines - dual purpose..

Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions and Doc John, thank you for taking the time out to explain things to me. I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this.
Apart of my anger is not being heard. Getting negative attention to my anger was better then getting no attention at all. It's a survival tool I used growing up and I can't seem to put it down. Only now I would rather have no attention then the negative attention.
I don't know how else to be heard. I don't know how to ask for help when I'm that emotional. I don't know why I become that emotional and I cannot think rationally when I am that emotional but even when I do manage to think rationally in the midst of it-the surge of adreneline overrides it.
I feel alone when I become angry. I feel like a bad person. I feel like I deserve any of the negative responses I attract from it. And then I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
It's hard to deal with this IRL because there's little or no compassion and extremely rarely will you get understanding.
Nobody "catches" me-if you know what I mean. Here, people catch me. I feel like it's safe enough here to express my anger and be spoken to honestly about it-when I'm in the wrong or my way of thinking is warped and at the same time, I also get compassion, understanding and hugs. That's not easy to come by IRL. Not at all.
I guess, what I'm trying to explain is-I need a sounding board. A safe one. One that's not going to judge me. I guess I could put all my angers under the Self Help category which is listed all the way on the bottom of the menu and hardly anyone ever ventures down there.
Right now I'm having trouble trying to express what I'm feeling so I'm going to take more time to think about it.

Thanks again.

[pachyderm]

> It's more like-My mental health issue is being treated like a red headed step child and I am not at all happy about it...

Hey! Don't you like red-heads? Or step-children?



Anyway, I agree that anger is a topic that needs discussion.

[pachyderm]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
DocJohn said:
Anger management techniques work to help a person not just alternative ways of expressing their anger, but also channeling it into more constructive energies.
DocJohn

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

The problem I've always had with the term "anger management" is that it appears to be more likely to be "anger suppression" -- or "more constructive" according to the wishes of the "bosses" -- rather than "anger understanding" which might lead to the enlightenment of the one having the anger. Whose welfare is primary?

[TYMBERWOLV]

Anger management is what it means ::: the ability to manage the anger -- Identifying triggers , patterns that cause you at a negative event to expose ur anger in a wrong way ... Anger is ok we all have anger within us it is a pure emotion ...

Anger out of control is bad ......

As i said in a prior post Pickle I teach anger management Im willing to assist u in getting the required tools to manage the anger ....

The biggest part of managing the anger is to slow down the anger ....

What you are dealing with is a point of when the negative event occurs there is a lack of reasoning in between the event and the reaction .... You slow down that process in between and Identify triggers in your life you will be able to manage the emotion


ttyl -- if u want just PM me I can be a great sounding board

Timberwolffy~~~~~~~~