Do I need help...

I thought I had depression... So I decided to take the test to find out if I really do have depression or am I just feelings like this because I'm disappointed in a friend. I'm always nervous and worried about things I can't even explain. For instance I'm really upset with a friend I haven't seen for 2 - 3 weeks. And he has been passing my number out to guys and telling them I sell weed. Before that he got me into trouble by telling my probation officer things. And I really trusted this guy so much. I just get this crap feeling on my heart every time I think about it. If am eating and I start to think about it I can't eat. Sometimes for a few minutes I get intense feelings of liberation when I just think no one can hurt me, and I don't care about anything. But that doesn't last to long.

In fact I've had enough of all my friends, I just wish they would leave me alone - they are not bullying me or anything, they just want me to come out all the time and have fun with them. And I'm really sick and tried of it all I want to stop drinking before I turn into an alcoholic, and they smoke weed and I end up smoking it too. And it makes you go petty... I hate it... When am stoned I feel like I can pick up peoples emotions I can feel their emotions and I really hate that and this is not helping me feel better I feel worse the next morning. Am so just scared and I don't even know of what!

Sorry I've gone off track... So anyway I the depression test:
Link to the test:
NetDoctor.co.uk - Goldberg depression test

Just to let you all know, I wouldn't actually commit suicide, its just that I've had the thought that how would my family feel if I did and how I would do it, if I did do i.e. what are my options. But I wouldn't actually do it.

So do you think I really need to "seek help"? I don't think I do, its just a phase am going though I think because I've failed I don't have a job I have to get money from my family I have nothing to look froward to the future I drink am not religious when I should be, my life is just doomed it really is.

Has it been consistent? The depressive feelings? Over two weeks? If so, I would say yes. If not, at least find a good friend to talk this out with, or feel free to discuss it here...

Sona

Welcome to PC! I can relate a lot to what you are saying here. And Clyde asks some good questions regarding your possible depression.

Here is my take on what you are going through with your friends. I think you are growing up...maturing and realizing that their ways are not good for you anymore. You are wanting to take responsibility for your life. Sometimes we do grow out of our friendships....moving on to different directions. And thats not a bad thing.

As you probably already know, alcohol is a depressant. If you are depressed and you are adding alcohol to the mix, then it's not helping your mental state anymore. And I think it's great you are concerned about becoming an alcoholic. With that, you can then turn concern into action and help yourself!!

I'm sorry you are going through some difficult times now. But IMHO, you are asking just the right questions and hopefully will find the right answers to help yourself move on into a happier lifestyle (not to mention a safer lifestyle!).

Keep posting here, we have a forum for Alcohol and Substance abuse along with Depression. There are a lot of folks who have been in your situation before and can lend an ear and some wonderful support.

I wish you well along your journey! Take good care of YOU, you deserve it!

Hugsss
sabby

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ClydeMED said:
Has it been consistent? The depressive feelings? Over two weeks? If so, I would say yes. If not, at least find a good friend to talk this out with, or feel free to discuss it here...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yes, the nevus and scared feelings I've been getting them from over 2 - 3 years now. Before they used to be more intense now I have much control over them.

My depression think started when about 3 years ago I started getting prank calls, eventually they got threatening I was actually afraid to go outside the house just with the fear that I'm going to be attacked by someone.

Then from there, it changed... I started fearing of losing friends... if my friend didn't call me for a few weeks or days, I would blame myself and I would sit there thinking did I say something to him. And then I would get this strange thinking pattern that maybe my friend now feels like attacking me. After this passed I started getting worried about being prosicuited by the police thinking the police might target me for no reason at all.

Constantly, this has been going on from one worry to the next and theres not even a logical why I would fear things so much. I've been feeling like this for so long now, that I don't even know what it feels like to be normal. I lay in my bed thinking what I've done and why anyone would try to hurt me.

I fear almost everything, and I was never like this... I used to actually go out and didn't have a worry in the world. I used to be able to stand up for myself and fight. Now I feel like running am always planning in my head if am walking how am I going to run what path am going to take etc.

I can't even get a bus to the next city unless if I really had to. I feel safe at home. My heart is so weak now, mentally I've very strong and very logical and ratonial person, in fact sometimes I go so logical that my mom doesn't like it. because I start rearranging things in the home. in fact, am obsessive with things. Like my cloths have to be perfectly ironed, my room clean. The house to have prefect lines a structure no clutter.

Yes, I do understand. It must be very scary for you, all the more reason to go see a GP as soon as possible. Hopefully there can be a way in which to help you out and make you feel better.

Like Sabau mentioned, it is also a good thing to check out the posts on other parts of this "website" as well. It is important to know that there are others (and there really are!) who have had basically the same struggles and issues as you--it helps you feel more like everyone else and helps you to realize you are still on some firm foundation.

Welcome here, and continue to talk in any forum you feel free to do so in. We are all here to be helped and help each other, so welcome!

Hi Sona. It sounds like you have a lot of thoughts running through your head. Maybe a visit with a pdoc would help. Keep posting here—I will listen and support you…although it does not seem like I have too many answers right now. My biggest concern is that you can talk with a professional about this—I am not a referring doctor or anything—its just that if I felt like you do, I would go see my pdoc. Welcome to PC and I look forward to hearing more of your story.

Thanks guys, I really appreciate, the warm welcomes and the time en effort you put into your posts responding to me. Some of you have said to see my doctor, well my doctor doesn't really care I've lost trust in him. Once I went to him and I told him I think there is a problem with my eye sight and he said: "Do you see an opticians sign here" another time I went to him for some medication so I could gain weight and he said to me: "why do want to be fat" I told him I don't want to be fat, its just that I'm under weight I only weigh 7 stones and I'm a 24 year old male. He said to me: "Can you change your mom and dad" and I said to him: "no" he responded with: "I can't do anything, your dads skinny, your moms skinny - its the genes" eventually, I was really upset about my weight it was too low, my face looked skinny, so I started taking a course on steroids. which helped me alot I put some size on my face looked better and I felt great.

So I really don't bother to see my doctor, I'm going to change doctors.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Sona said:
Some of you have said to see my doctor, well my doctor doesn't really care I've lost trust in him. Once I went to him and I told him I think there is a problem with my eye sight and he said: "Do you see an opticians sign here"...

So I really don't bother to see my doctor, I'm going to change doctors.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sounds like a good idea to me!

my gosh, you should have replied "no, and i don't see a doctor here either"...........xoxoxo pat

Yeah, seeing a new doctor would be advisable

Agreed!!

I read your post & I feel like who needs friends like that.
If you can't trust your friend then stay away, they will really
hurt you more. I am so sorry your doctor is a jerk.... Sometimes, I really wonder why they are in that profession.
Doctors should have compassion.

Please see another doctor, and thanks be to God ,that
you realize that your friends ( drinking & smoking pot) are
not really your friends. It sounds like you really want to
change around for the positive, good, life.

Sending you hugs,

I agree changing doctors might be a good idea, but I'd strongly encourage you to see someone. It is possible to get treatment for depression and anxiety and help with the alcohol if that's something you also want.

Keep posting here too.

--splitimage

Want to welcome you to PC......I have read your posts......sounds like you are on the wrong track with the people you are hanging around with.....first of all....like sabby said, alcohol is a depressant.....& I remember the days when I was around weed (I never actually smoked it cause I didn't smoke)...it also had a depressing effect on me also. So if you are the least bit depressed, that will only be adding to your bad feelings.

You also said you have (or had) a probation officer.....sounds like you have made some poor choices in your past.....or at least have choosen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.....anyway, it sounds to me like it would be a good idea for you to at least go to a psychologist. Your posts sound like you want to make the right changes to your life because you have matured out of the group you are hanging around.....anyway, the point is that having a psychologist to talk your thoughts over with can help you make the changes you want to make to your life.

It is really hard to make major changes like that without outside support....even the strongest personalities have a difficult making major changes in life & pulling away from people you have been hanging around with for a long time. A objective professional could help you put your thoughts into actions so that you life will be made into positive changes that you will be happy with the rest of your life......& they are someone to take things through with.

Of course, PC is a great place to run your throughts by, but a professional will be able to help beyond the help you can get here.....& that along with this can be beneficial in making those changes you want to with your life.

We are here to support,
Debbie

Hi Sona

Wow, your doctor really sounds rude. I hope you get a new one soon.