Low IQ and coping with life as an adult.

I have a low average IQ that's presented a real problem with finding meaningful work and living on my own. I have a verbal IQ of 94 and a performance IQ of 77; this comes out to a grand total of 85 which means I'm 10 points smarter than Forest Gump. My score of 85 was on the WAIS-III, and as I understand the WAIS IV, the current test that's out, lowers your IQ by 5 points. I'm only a few points away from needing a job coach for having a developmental disability.

Anyway, I'm almost 40 and I decided to attempt to go back to finish a degree program recently. I thought that after living with my parents and working a mundane, meaningless, entry-level job for over a decade, it would be a good idea to finish a degree and get a more interesting job. The problem is my cognitive limitations impair my ability to do course material that requires abstract reasoning. This past semester I attempted to take 2 courses that required something I'm not good at, thinking, and I dropped them 2 weeks at the beginning of the semester. I have only taken 6 credits total this semester, and I feel that as the course material gets progressively more difficult, I will not be able to gey by.

If I drop out again and go back home to live with mommy and daddy I will look like more of a loser than I did before. I have a history of starting and stopping things because I think I'm smart enough, and then reality sets in and I fail. I'll probably end up with a B and a C in the 2 courses that I took this semester; I haven't done anything except go to school part time and my performance may be average. I'm getting older, my parents are getting older, and I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself. I could go back to warehouse work but that's physically demanding, soul crushing, and I would have to start back over. I feel like there's really no need to go on somedays.

Hi AsaBoxofRocks. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you feel that your situation says something bad about who you are as a person. Everyone, I believe, has a talent that they are especially suited to bring to this world. I do not know what your talent is, but I hope you do not give up hope of finding it.

These articles may help lend some insight

IQ Can Be Linked to Physical and Psychiatric Disorders | World of Psychology

https://psychcentral.com/lib/building-self-esteem/

Are Intelligence and Memory Linked?

I feel that my life has not gone as I thought it should, but I learned things I would not have learned any other way. I guess for me life has not gone as planned but I would not go back and try to live it another way even if I could. It would have been so much different than it turned out in the end for me. Looking back over a whole lifetime, things turned out all right, and maybe even just the way they were supposed to. Not that I am someone great, but I have started to be comfortable in my own skin.

Hi As, Welcome to PC. You write very nicely. I hope the articles CANDC posted are helpful for you.

Hello, and welcome to PC. Laura is right, your writing is very good, something I noticed. I hope you find this site helpful.

Dear Asa,

I have been scored extremely below average in highschool and completely incapable of
going on to the tenth grade.
Subsequent tests revealed I am above average.
problem was I was just bored in school because they were all party hounds, doing drugs and
bullying each other.
As a person who is constantly accused of thinking too much, being smart is as much of a deficit as being below 60 iq.
I have met people with 60 or lower iqs with more EQ than me.
everyone has some for of intelligence, dumb as rocks in books but a genius with a pen or a paint
brush, or dancing or running or passing a football. Even socializing is a brand and genre of
intelligence and some get it, others are idiots at it like me.
I have to work so hard at socializing I sleep a day in after a party trying to recover not from drinking but the exhausting effort of people.
what it takes to be an intelligent person is not so much about having wrinkles in your
brain as following some basic rules of how to think.
if you are interested, ask.

Sandworm.

i agree with sandworm,everyone has some form of intelligence-ive spent my whole life with people all over the ID spectrum including profound and even they were clever in areas.
im 32 and have mild intellectual disability,i was diagnosed as having severe intellectual disability as a child but when i was sectioned [held against my will] in a intellectual disability hospital in the UK 5 years ago,i was tested every day for the 4 months i was in there including having my functioning tested and my parents were spoken to indepth,
it turned out i have mild intellectual disability which didnt surprise me but i wasnt able to talk at the time to say my opinion due to my classic autism.

it sounds like you may have executive dysfunction which can come from having ADHD as well as other conditions although i dont want to 'armchair diagnose' you.
when your VIQ and PIQ are very different it means theres something causing the imbalance such as specific learning difficulties [you may know them as learning disabilities in the US] so its highly possible your not lower IQ.

you need better self confidence,you are not your IQ,the world is yours if you let it be.
you need to know your potential even more than your limits, so you struggle with a degree-if you cant get support with it like many people do in the UK dont do it because you are setting yourself up to fail,look into other non degree courses instead.
have you thought about doing voluntary work? a lot of people get into paid work this way,despite being intellectually disabled and being unable to write plus moderately classic autistic ive actually been given a voluntary job as a support assistant in PE lessons in a special school,im also a special olympics athlete-i dont let my labels stop me as id have no quality of life otherwise,you can use a computer obviously ever thought of getting into IT,there are jobs like fixing computers which are very cool and you can do that independantly without any qualifications as long as you learn.

I have a "superior" IQ, but it has been tested three times, one time with a "very superior" result. But I lack social skills, as you may be able to tell from my posts about relationships. I was an A-B student in high school, but that was because most kids annoyed me and I disliked that environment. In college, things improved significantly. But I had a hard time finding a job because of lack of persistence. I found a really good one in the end, and it is for the time I am a masters student. I still have anger problems, I am a highly sensitive person, etc. These things have been a mixed blessing for me. Add to it that I am kinda short, have a Hispanic accent which people subconsciously perceive as being "inferior," etc. I try to dress nicely more often, though, which helps a lot. Some people my age even call me "sir." I find it awkward, lol but such is humanity.
I admire your determination. It is something I am still developing. You will certainly go far with it despite what your IQ results say. Do you have athletic ability?

IQ is just one part of a person. Plus many, if not most IQ tests are cultured related. That is geared to the White, European, White American culture. Any IQ test, no matter what kind does not test for creativity. That is because intelligence and creativity are two separate entities. This not opinion. Its fact. Determination, motivation is crucial too. I, myself worked as a mental health advocate for over 20 years The rehab center I worked in closed due to lack of funding )8 My verbal and performance IQ are quite different too. My verbal is 120 Performance 90 Terrible in math. One true story I thought was funny. One time I did a popular magazine IQ test There was a math query concerning ratios.. I got it right because I happen to be good in ratios. Ever since then a woman friend thought I was a math genius. LOL. Seriously we should emphasize our strengths and that means you too.

I have a similar iq profile as mugwort2, my verbal was 121 and performance was 80. a point spread of 15 or more indicates a learning disability, not necessarily a low iq..unfortunately they average the two scores so although I am quite certain I am above average, well, my score is 101. I prefer to go with the verbal score. Most likely I have what is called Non Verbal Learning Disability but since I am not a child in school, it really doesn't matter what the label is. My point is, most schools have a disability office where you can arrange for accommodations for classwork and homework, as well as, tutoring. It might be worth it to at least go into the office (if your school has one) and talk to them.

Anyway we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I have been able to use my strengths in the verbal arena to edit and proof Ph.D dissertations which have in turn gotten graded as A+. I am positive you will be able to find your strengths as well

"EQ" (Emotional intelligence) can be more important than IQ.

By the way, judging from your manner of writing (you seem to be above average in your communication) I would in no way think you had a below average IQ. Are you this skilled verbally? Perhaps something involving working with the public might be a possible line for work?

I am somewhat skilled verbally, but I have a terrible time maintaining conversations in large groups. I also kind of have to think before I speak when conversing.

I can't hold a conversation in a large group to save my life! I'm better off conversing with one or two other people.

HI Asa,
welcome to PC, I am pleased to meet you. After reading your post I am impressed with you skill at writing and find you to be above average intelligence. You may have an EQ that balances you out and I am curious as to how you interact with others. You seem to have a good handle on language and i am thinking if your verbal skills are anywhere near as good as your writing skills you would be great in the public sector. What kind of work interests you most? I wonder what you would like to be doing in your heart, what would make you most happy. I understand that warehouse work is hard and harder still if you have aspirations for greater things.

good luck and let me know how you are doing, Tam

I feel very stupid too.. I understand

And, there is nothing wrong with getting Bs and Cs. Or with taking just a couple of courses at a time. It shows determination to succeed.

I can relate to a lot of this. I come from a middle class background with the basic values of intelligence, competency and at achieving at least a middle class level. I have been unemployed for three years and am now realizing I must have a low IQ. Its been devastating for me.

Hello there. You've gotten some great advice. An IQ is just a number and a test is just a test. I actually work with youth with intellectually disabilities and I must say those tests are not something I put much stock in. However it does sound like academically some courses are challenging for you.

Have you asked for accommodations? You can receive 504 services at post-Secondary level (in the US). You can also work toward a certification or technical program that won't require as much work in the core subjects like math or English or science.

You write exceptionally well and you seem to have a very realistic and motivational goal for yourself. I have worked with many young adults who were successful in certification programs and have gone on to earn good salaries and be very independent. You can earn certifications in welding, automotive, IT, healthcare, etc. There are so many options out there.

As far as trouble actually verbalizing in a large group-- that really is an individualized thing and is present across all levels of cognitive ability. I myself have a higher IQ but am socially very very awkward and suffer a bit. In fact I was relatively non verbal until I was an adult. However I can write like there's no tomorrow.

Hang in there. Your post is very inspiring and I am confident in you. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me.

Verbalising in a large group is a skill some have and some don't so much..

It has little to nothing to do with IQ and IQ has little to nothing to do with "intrinsic value"

There's nothing wrong with getting B's or C's

(I did... (for A levels) ..that isn't my "crime" - my "crime" was being born )

These IQ tests mean nothing to me. Ignore them, please. Forest Gump was smart to me. He succeeded. He also was a good human being. He saved lives and protected his girlfriend. I also cannot maintain a conversation even with one person, and probably I would score >130 in an IQ test. I failed courses in college. Maybe the courses are difficult. Try your best after ignoring these IQ results completely.

I suspect my IQ is low-ish too. I only once did a test back in high school and got the lowest score in the class - despite this I did fairly well at school, tenacity and diligence counts for a lot I have found, both in education and school.

Depending on my mood I'll call myself as thick as a brick (my use of humour) or not the sharpest tack in the box. What I have noticed is that people who like me seem to say I'm intelligent and don't like it when I disagree (like others mention I suspect my EQ is high which misleads, yours may be too). What is it with this societal obsession with intelligence as being so important? It might be associated with success but not always.

As others have said, your writing shows thoughtfulness, insight, ability to reason, and good use of English. Those are all indications of intelligence and education. Forget about the IQ score. In large part it measures your ability to solve puzzles. I have a benign brain tumor and some other issues. It is a problem sometimes. I am not able to do some things the way other people expect, and sometimes I feel like parts of me are broken. I also have problems speaking at times. The way I see it is that people expect certain things, but what they expect isn't always what is best. I get frustrated because people always want things too fast. I just don't do fast. The most important thing is to keep trying and not let it get you down. Many people think different is inferior, but that is totally wrong. Look for things to do that fit your strengths. I spent far too much time in my life working on my weaknesses and trying to be "normal". After a certain point it becomes misdirected effort. No one ever told me, "You should do this because you are good at it." That's a positive message. Instead I got negative messages, and I was always being hard on myself because I couldn't do something, or because I couldn't do it the way I thought I should. I was just beating myself up. You may find that some of the things you think are weaknesses are actually strengths. I don't know you, but in my case I know that being slow also means that I'm careful and attend to detail. I can do things other people can't because they don't pay attention or have the patience. Unfortunately, society doesn't value those things as much as they do social skills, multitasking, and fitting in. It makes things harder, but I know the problem is not with me. It's hard not to judge yourself for being different, but in reality the world needs all sorts of people, and you are just as important. An IQ is only a score on a test. It may be useful for some things, but it's also a way for other people to judge you. That's all. It does not mean you are not intelligent. You may be able to do the things you want, but may have to do them a little differently than most people. You may find that you can do things that other people can't.

I agree, slowness is often just the flip side to thoroughness and attention to detail. Thank you for this.

My ex-husbsnd always bragged about his high IQ but in reakity he had NO common sense & because he chose to only do things he liked to do, he was the most useless husband as a partner...& forget EQ....im sure it was 0. Even out T said he had the emotional abiluty of a child.

There were certain things he could do & if that was all that life involved he would have succeeded.

As for college not everyone has what it takes to get through the classes required for graduation. I started off college as a music major with my major instrument being flute. My parents hadnt had money for lessons. I got by until going on after I got my AA degree in music. Then I started taking lesspns with the best of the best & practicing 8 hours a day only to find out that even with my professional flute, i was NEVER going to have the ability it took to be a professional flute player. This was a difficult awareness to accept but it was reality. I could practice 24 hours a day forever & I would NEVER be good enough to be a professional flute player who could make a career out of it. It didnt mean I couldnt play is groups that demanded less quality but it was important for me to acknowledge my limitations & to realistically apply it to my life career choices.

I had a high enough IQ that changing my major in my junior year & syarting all over in a new major was possible & I did after 4 more years of college get my degree in Accounting Information Systems with a computer science minor but I struggled to just get through a year of calculus that my minor required. It brought my GPA down to 3.2.

The interesting thing was that my ex H with the extremely high IQ graduated with a 2.3 GPA because he had no interest in classes he didnt like & he didnt get the job he expected to be given at graduation because of his bad GPA where I with a lower GPA had 3 job offers at the time of my graduation.

Moral is, IQ doesnt mean anything but it is important to acknowledge & acceot yiur limitations when deciding what to do wuth your life. Not everyone's mind is capable of getting them through college no matter hiw much determination one has. We have to observe out talents & abilities. If i hadnt been able to squeek by Calculus with a C, I would have never been able to have the minor I had.

It is important to get in touch with the takents & capabiluties that you have, not what you think or wish you had, & find a position that fits you.

I did boring data entry working my way through college. A totally mindless job. It made me realize I needed a career that challenged me intellectually & I loved to solve problems. Some people have completely different skills & abilities.

Dont know if your college has a skills assessment center that helps students find their areas of strengths & weaknesses to help you determine if college is even the right place for you but that is where I woukdvtry to start.

I know that social security had testing they do for people on disability thinking about hetting back into the work force they may have that testing open to others. Your communuty social services could provide you with that information. Lol i failed that miserably because it wasnt geared to people who had been professionals but it was great for those who werent & you might find something like that helpful.

If you try to force yourself into a place your skills & abilities dont fit, you will only be miserable in the long run & end up failing while trying to perform at a level your talents dont fit.

My husband had problems with social interaction & communication. Sadly it limited his computer engineering career. He bkamed it of company politics but in reality it was his own abiluties that limited him from ending up getting the promotions he thought he deserved. Its important to be in touch with ourselves & our abilities. Arrogant views of ourselves doesnt make others see us the same way we want to be seen either.

Its best to just be realistic & to know ourselves & to aim for what we KNOW weare capable of doing & what we can achieve.