GRRRRRRRRR I am getting to the end of my rope with Shawn(my ex, the father of my coming child, and also my roomate) I really am. Today I invited my best friend over, and while I was on the phone with her, he screams about how its his day off and so he doesn't want her coming over. When I haven't had company for three weeks.

So then he tells me I have no right to complain because he is the one who paid the rent this month. Well, I took over the computer, because he hasnt given me a cent for the internet in the last three months. Well then he decides that since the power is in his name, I cant use it. So he unplugs my computer...Bam, all my bookmarks are gone, and I have corrupted files now.

As if this was not enough, then he tells me to stay away from the food in the fridge and not eat, since of course the food came from his restaurant so therefore it is his.

So, yeah, hes definetly being mean. And I don't know how much more I can take his insults or his being mean. He keeps calling me fat lazy and pregnant and telling me to go get an effing job... when he very well knows that I can't because I have been sick the last month.

This is borderlining on getting really bad, and I don't know what to do about it. I am in tears now, and shaking, because he basically told me to find my own food and that if I didn't smarten up he was going to move out and leave me to my own devices on oct 1st.

When i said that by not letting me eat, he was hurting his baby too, he said oh well that makes two kids I don't care about. Since he has one already that he is dodging child support on.

I really, really, really need some hugs or something. I don't know what I need. I need something though.

[MyBestKids2]

BIG BIG (((Rainbowzz)))


Dee

(((((Dee))))

[Raynaadi]

((((( {{{{{ ~*Rainbowzz *~ }}}}} )))))

I wish I knew how to help.....thats so bad...

[Gemstone]

((((( Rainbowzz ))))))

I'm sorry that he is being so awful.

Are there any other choices out there for you? Are there other friends you could live with or maybe relatives. What about public assistance?

Its not healthy for you to be there with him, and you don't want to bring the baby into an abusive household.

[Rio_]

(((((Rainbowzz)))))

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Gemstone said:
((((( Rainbowzz ))))))

I'm sorry that he is being so awful.

Are there any other choices out there for you? Are there other friends you could live with or maybe relatives. What about public assistance?

Its not healthy for you to be there with him, and you don't want to bring the baby into an abusive household.

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Your absolutely right, but at the same time I am terrified of living on my own because I am scared I won't be able to afford it. They won't give me public assistance because I still live with him, even though they know his stance on things has changed and we aren't together anymore - I'm fighting this right now though.

And you know, your right, it is abusive or at least borderlining abusive. I hate to admit that because I feel guilty for letting it happen but I can't stand up for myself at all without getting more insults and threats.

Feeling very isolated, thank you everyone for the hugs, they help majorly.

EDIT: Oh and as for the relatives, the only one I could move in with would be my mom, and she is one of my physical abusers from the past and when we live together things get just about as bad. But maybe going away for a little while at least would help.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Rainbowzz ))))))))))))))))

[Raynaadi]

What about a woman's shelter for now? We have a place here called New Beginnings that helps women get back on their feet. Especially being pregnant, there's gotta be an organization that will help.....right?? There's just gotta be.....

Ray, I've thought about that and it still might be an option for me. Though I have had extremely bad experiences when I lived on the streets at 16 in shelters.. the ones I have been in I have had some pretty bad things happen to me.

I guess tomorrow I will have to call around and see what I can find out. I mean, I can't continue on like this as sick as I am already. Its hard enough for me to manage day to day being sick, and being off meds that I need so badly for keeping me even.(Can't take the meds since I'm pregnant)

You know, when this first happened he promised the world..saying even though we weren't together he would help me and he would help care for the child.. now its like the farther along I get the meaner he gets. I don't get it.

EDIT: And I know this sounds really petty, but It makes me very sad that I would have to give up my two kitties I have had for eight years since I first moved out on my own at 18 if I went to a shelter. Though I know I and the baby come first, it still hurts.

[Raynaadi]

I hear you about the kitties. Pets are our kids too. There's no friends, family, anyone who could watch them?

That's an idea that I will have to investigate if I do decide to go to a shelter. I really really don't want to give them up, especially if it is going to be for the sake of just a couple months.

Well, Shawn has gone out for the evening and my best friend is going to come over after all. Her ex and the father of her daughter is being a mean deadbeat right now too so we at least have that in common.

Feeling a bit more calm now that he is gone. At least now I can think and stop crying.

[Raynaadi]

Good....company is good. Can you stay with her?

[eskielover]

((((((((((Rainbowzz))))))))))))))),

You have my hugz & prayers that your decisions will be for your babies best interest first of all & yours second (both are probably equal)

It is important for you to look seriously at the relationship you are in.....there isn't anything partially abusive about it.....that is completely abusve.

I hate to say this because you are probably already realizing this, but:

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Rainbowzz said:

When i said that by not letting me eat, he was hurting his baby too, he said oh well that makes two kids I don't care about. Since he has one already that he is dodging child support on.

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Clue # 1 as to what kind of person he truely is & you already know it.....if he is already dodging one child support....why in the world would you believe the lies he was telling you about how he would care for you & another baby.

He probably told the previous mother the same lies????

Leapords never change their spots.....& neither do dead beat dads.....besides, if he really cared, he wouldn't have gotten you pregnant in the first place.

But enough said about what you probably already know deep down inside.

This is the important part of this post. You are a very special person who is loving & wants only the best for yourself, needing to be cared for is an important feeling in life. You need to be protected against this person who is just showing his true spots all over again.

I hope you can find a shelter that you can go to. It isn't good for the unborn child for the mother to be that stressed during the pregnancy....it does effect the baby even though it doesn't seem like it could. You are right not to go back with your Mother.....why go from one bad situation to another just like it. You are wise to realize this.

As for your kitties....oh no, try to find a friend who can temporarily baby set them until you can get into a situation where you are able to care for them again alwo. Hopefully a friend will be willing to babyset.

I am praying that you will be able to find the right place that is safe for you from all the stress of the abuse he is throwing at you. You are right....he is getting worse, & he will only get worse as the days go by.....I'm guessing, but that is probably what happened to the Mother of the other child?.

Even if you go to a shelter for a little while so that you can get away from the situation, clear your mind out & be able to make a the right decision. The shelter would be wonderful to temporarialy give you that break from the situation you are in.

You have my hugs & my prayers for a safe & peaceful life for both you & your baby,
Debbie

[Soidhonia]

Hello (((RAINBOWZZ))). I feel that you need to contact the Jobs and Family Services in your county for food stamps if you are in the United States. the Salvation Army can also help you with food and Utility bills at times. If you are getting a disability check then you can get under low income housing for you and the baby.You should think about going somewhere safe temporarily until you can get moved into a place by yourself. Your parents could probably help you until you can get another place you can afford. There are also food banks in most states if you are in the United States if you call Salvation Army they can give you the latest resources. Checking the internet under Food pantrys for your city or county you may find emergency food assistance. Take care Rainbowzz go to your parents house to eat until you get food if necessary.. Soidhonia

[biiv]

rainbowz this guy is straight forward abusive. it seems that you are having problems getting funding from the government because you are still living with him? i do think the idea of a shelter temporarily is no worse than being in an abusive situation with no independence. if you were living in a shelter the government might be that much quicker to provide you with accomodation and you would be free from this jerk.
you have received really good advice in this thread and i hope you take some of it. you do not deserve this and your baby certainly does NOT deserve to be born in a house where her/his father does not whole heartedly love and accept her/him.
please prioritise yourself and your child. i will keep you in my thoughts.
((((((((((((((((rainbowz)))))))))))))))))

edited to add: ps about the kitty cats, it is easier to find a home for them and more humane than trying to keep them with you if you are living in an abusive situation. though i fully understand the idea of losing pets who are part of the family. you child and your self must come first, impossibly hard as it may seem.

[Dulcinea]

(((((((Rainbowz))))))
Here's a hug for you

[LMo]

Oh Rainbowzz, I'm so sorry to read this You must be hurting dreadfully

I agree with the shelter, but I also have an idea - why don't you put an ad on Craigslist and interview foster parents for your kitties? I know that some people would love pets but can't make a 10-year commitment, but would probably be thrilled for 1-2 months until you get back on your feet.

I'm here for you if you want to talk

[Raynaadi]

Oh what a good idea....foster parents. Yeah!

I would also see a lawyer to <u>make sure</u> you will get child support.
I'm an animal lover so I know how you feel about the cats but there have been some problems linked to pregnancy and cat litter, etc., so I think the suggestions about finding a temporary home for them is a good one.
You can always visit them, then get them back after things have worked out.

[wickedwings]

((((rainbow)))) ((((((((((hhhhuuuugggsss))))))))