I often fantasize about being some type of arch villain or super villain with some type of special powers who becomes the emperor or highlord of the world or galaxy even. I often fantasize about having powers, such as mind control, the ability to corrupt people's senses in order to force them to think that their brothers and friends are enemies and I'm their ally, some type of void based power to where I can put people in a heightened state of pain or dematerialize them, or having the ability to shoot some type of blood red or black lightning or energy.

Furthermore, I often go into flights of fantasies and get lost in my head when I'm bored. I will often do this when riding the buses because they are slow and stupid or walking around at school. When getting off or walking around other people. I will fantasize about levitating or having some type of ominous looking energy come off me and the other people around me kneeling before me and calling me their "dark lord" and worshiping me.

I have fantasies about using my powers to go after everybody that has wronged me or somebody who has been through what I have and forcing them to be my slaves and worship me like a god. I fantasize about overriding the wills of everybody who hurts people like me (the mentally "ill") and forcing them to be an army of slaves for me. I fantasize about being immortal and if I'm about to die, consuming one of these slaves to extend my life force.

I finally have fantasies about using my power and authority to make it illegal to reject me. If I want somebody to be my friend or a girl that I like to love me, I fantasize about having absolute power and authority over them and if they would reject me, for me to be able to have them imprisoned for daring to defy me.

The thing is that I'm normally a pretty nice person. However, I have thoughts and fantasies like this sometimes. They happen the most when I'm feeling lonely or worthless.

[Mdslittlbee]

Have you thought about taking these thoughts and weaving them into a book? It sounds like you have a great imagination.
As you realize it is a fantasy, perhaps others would enjoy it too. Perhaps , you are destined to be a writer of dark fantasy books. You can then explore this angle, and it will give you a creative outlet.

[Artchic528]

I second using these fantasies as fuel for fiction writings.

[Rpmblank]

Sounds like you want the power to avenge a wrongdoing. You are not the only one I'm sure.

[Kuras]

Most people have wild fantasies to some extent or another. If you're the creative sort, see what penning some of these thoughts down does for you. I've turned a couple of my dreams into plotlines for stories. It's nice to have an outlet.

Originally Posted by Rpmblank

Sounds like you want the power to avenge a wrongdoing. You are not the only one I'm sure.

I can't deny, I do desire power for my own reasons. I don't want to control, use, or abuse people by any means, however, I do want to feel like I have some value to people and some degree of control over my life and future. I don't ever want to be powerless ever again nor do I want other people to have the power to hurt me. I want to be too powerful and too important to ever be hurt by another person ever again. This is perhaps one of my deepest, darkest desires.

Still though, I like the idea of writing works of fiction, both as a side hobby, and as a way to earn some extra money. I might look into it.

No but I always seem to relate to the "bad" guy in sort of supervillian movies. Every time I watch X-men first class I relate completely to Magneto and no one else. I always think Xavier is horribly nieve and if he was in the real world he would be dead or taken advantage of. I also relate to Dexter of the TV show. In the TV show he kind of is a supervillian / anti hero killing people that deserve it. I do fantasize about powers but in these fantasies I would use my powers to kill people that deserve it. To champion for the truly down trodden. Prostitutes... who are forced into it... people that pray on children, those who engage in human trafficking. Powerful people protected by society.

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

No but I always seem to relate to the "bad" guy in sort of supervillian movies. Every time I watch X-men first class I relate completely to Magneto and no one else. I always think Xavier is horribly nieve and if he was in the real world he would be dead or taken advantage of. I also relate to Dexter of the TV show. In the TV show he kind of is a supervillian / anti hero killing people that deserve it. I do fantasize about powers but in these fantasies I would use my powers to kill people that deserve it. To champion for the truly down trodden. Prostitutes... who are forced into it... people that pray on children, those who engage in human trafficking. Powerful people protected by society.

I couldn't agree more with this! It seems like we are alike in many ways.

I love Magneto. In fact, I used to think of mutants from X-Men as us social outcasts who have mental illnesses or other things that people won't accept us for and the humans as the normies who want to bully us into submission and treat us like we are second class citizens. I wanted him to win and wipe out humanity so those who have actually been hurt for being different could run the world alone.

I also used to binge watch shows like Dexter where the protagonist is an anti hero of villain that either goes after humanities scum or wants to live life on their own terms not giving a damn about society and their standards and animes like Death Note and Code Geass where the protagonist was a villain or anti hero that wanted to use a power to reshape the world as a way to cope with how overwhelmingly lonely and miserable I was from being treated so poorly by my mother and struggling just to get my basic needs met and having no friends or people to help me and what not.

I often have had a thirst for power so that I can change the world and make it better for people like us.

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I also used to binge watch shows like Dexter where the protagonist is an anti I often have had a thirst for power so that I can change the world and make it better for people like us.

Dexter, the pilot, is my all time favorite show. When I am feeling sick or downtrodden I put the pilot on and always feel better. I actually really enjoy the relationship he has with his foster sister as well and wish I had that with my brother.

I went into a law enforcement profession (like Dexter is involved in the legitimate profession) so I do still get to make a difference... a little... but I still see that it doesn't always get the truly bad and mostly just ends up hurting people that aren't *that* bad while the worst of the worst get away with it. I wish I could make those people pay and I have considered carefully if I would be bothered by it... and I know I wouldn't.

[Onward2wards]

Some parts of this thread I very much identify with (wanting to make the world a better place, stand up to injustices, protect the vulnerable, etc.). However I would never want to have the ability to force people to like me, be in awe of me in some way, etc. I'd rather just get better at being the best version of me that I can, and if that's not good enough for some, oh well ... you can't please everyone.

I know that various fears hold me back from being as assertive, expressive, persuasive or confident as I would like. I blame that stack of baggage for being the root cause of my depression, in fact. (And I badly want to go "full Dexter" on those ******* fears, but not on people).

DarknessIsMyFriend, I think putting your fantasies onto paper in story form is a great idea. It seems a lot of people can relate to feeling powerless or less significant than they would like to be, wanting to right the world's many ongoing wrongs, etc. Thousands of novels, movies, TV shows, graphic novels and games point to the popularity of these themes!

[Maven]

I was going to suggest writing fiction or even screenplays. I have had similar fantasies, but I usually see myself as a superhero helping those I think deserve it, and punishing those who deserve it, *according to my ideas of punishments for them*. Now, of course, to most, I would probably be seen as a vigilante, although having powers might make people think I'm a villain, just because people are often afraid of people who are different and powerful.

So, it's a normal fantasy. Get creative. Write, draw, make a film, create a graphic novel, or whatever way you want to express it.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Yes...yes I relate.

I'm scared to think what a lot of other people online might say to this - "Oh look at you oh so edgy!!1 I bet you think you're really super speshul and dark how pathetic. Don't you know you're just a worthless human like the rest of us?" But I'll at least say that I've had similar grandiose fantasies - part of why I suspected I'm narcissistic, but maybe it's more common than thought.

Another point for putting it into stories; I've thought of doing that myself.

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

Yes...yes I relate.

I'm scared to think what a lot of other people online might say to this - "Oh look at you oh so edgy!!1 I bet you think you're really super speshul and dark how pathetic. Don't you know you're just a worthless human like the rest of us?" But I'll at least say that I've had similar grandiose fantasies - part of why I suspected I'm narcissistic, but maybe it's more common than thought.

Another point for putting it into stories; I've thought of doing that myself.

There's nothing wrong with being edgy. The weak minded masses couldn't possibly comprehend people like us.

We're not worthless like them. We're better than the masses because unlike the masses (which I commonly refer to as "sheeple" or "commoners") we know what it's like to be hurt in such a major way that it changes the mind. We know what it's like to feel such sorrow and misery that it makes living that much harder for us. We know what it's like to fight every day.

The masses will always be inferior to us for that very reason. They're weak because they couldn't possibly deal with half of what we deal with without breaking. We are hardened from years and decades of hardship. We are truly the strongest of humanity. We deserve to be the ones running this world.

So no you're not worthless and no there isn't anything wrong to be "dark" or "edgy". Those who say otherwise are weaklings and cowards.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

There's nothing wrong with being edgy. The weak minded masses couldn't possibly comprehend people like us.

We're not worthless like them. We're better than the masses because unlike the masses (which I commonly refer to as "sheeple" or "commoners") we know what it's like to be hurt in such a major way that it changes the mind. We know what it's like to feel such sorrow and misery that it makes living that much harder for us. We know what it's like to fight every day.

The masses will always be inferior to us for that very reason. They're weak because they couldn't possibly deal with half of what we deal with without breaking. We are hardened from years and decades of hardship. We are truly the strongest of humanity. We deserve to be the ones running this world.

So no you're not worthless and no there isn't anything wrong to be "dark" or "edgy". Those who say otherwise are weaklings and cowards.

Is this sarcasm...? If so, LOL! If not...well, I can't agree. I've never experienced hardship; my brain's just f-ed up because. Trust me, I'd love to agree with you and have that kind of self-image.

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

Is this sarcasm...? If so, LOL! If not...well, I can't agree. I've never experienced hardship; my brain's just f-ed up because. Trust me, I'd love to agree with you and have that kind of self-image.

I was serious actually. This is my outlook on life.

If your brain is messed up like you claim then that has likely been a source of some type of hardship for you. Even if it isn't, you have likely had it harder than one of these normies that come from upper middle class or wealthy backgrounds surrounded by family that loves them and helps them out. Many of those said people are judgemental or outright abusive towards those of us who have had to ensure hardships of any kind. When I make generalized claims against the majority, these people are the ones that I'm talking about most of the time.

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that my outlook on life is VERY dark/morbid haha

[TheDragon]

I'd like to point out that while it's true that statistically speaking, lower income and mental illness consistently have a correlation in the first world, there are also plenty of people who come from middle-upper class with family that loves them and helps them out that struggle from severe mental illness as much as anyone else.

The "us" against "them" mentality of severe mental illness vs "normies" as you put it; where do people who have other struggles such as physical disabilities fall on this seemingly very black and white spectrum?

I'm just a bit puzzled about how you've seemingly categorized most people into "us" and "them" when we live in a world with a complex society filled with a variety of people?

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I was serious actually. This is my outlook on life.

If your brain is messed up like you claim then that has likely been a source of some type of hardship for you. Even if it isn't, you have likely had it harder than one of these normies that come from upper middle class or wealthy backgrounds surrounded by family that loves them and helps them out. Many of those said people are judgemental or outright abusive towards those of us who have had to ensure hardships of any kind. When I make generalized claims against the majority, these people are the ones that I'm talking about most of the time.

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that my outlook on life is VERY dark/morbid haha

I come from an upper middle class family and have supportive parents who love me and help me out with my "illness" by letting me stay with them even though I am 22

Does this mean that I am "normal"?

I can see what you are trying to say but the logic is really discriminatory against people with severe "mental illness" who come from wealthy or middle class families. Also, just because my family is the upper middle class doesn't make it any easier for me, I am the only person in my family with mental illness and a lot of times my parents were ashamed of me because of it
I also had to deal with a load of people who weren't supportive and who didn't understand mental illness at all, most people assumed that I should be fine because I had everything I could have ever wanted, but that's not how mental illness works

Originally Posted by TheDragon

I'd like to point out that while it's true that statistically speaking, lower income and mental illness consistently have a correlation in the first world, there are also plenty of people who come from middle-upper class with family that loves them and helps them out that struggle from severe mental illness as much as anyone else.

The "us" against "them" mentality of severe mental illness vs "normies" as you put it; where do people who have other struggles such as physical disabilities fall on this seemingly very black and white spectrum?

I'm just a bit puzzled about how you've seemingly categorized most people into "us" and "them" when we live in a world with a complex society filled with a variety of people?

Well then those people are lucky to have others to uplift them. Some of us are alone in this dark lonely world. Those who have a MI, but have wealth as well are also lucky because at least they have more ways to escape from it. Being able to freely eat any food you want, afford any beverage (alcoholic or non), go anywhere you want, and not having to deal with the looming fear of homelessness are all fortunate and worthy of my envy.

If I had wealth and loved ones to support me than 98% of my MI would be a non issue. As it stands though, it really is me vs the rest of this lonely world. After all, it's been proven to me time and time again that nobody gives a damn unless it benefits them.

The darkness is my one and only friend, lover, ally, and protector. The darkness is my source of power and my salvation. Without it, I'm weak, powerless, nothing, and nobody.

Life is my war and death shall be my only solice.

[TheDragon]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Well then those people are lucky to have others to uplift them. Some of us are alone in this dark lonely world. Those who have a MI, but have wealth as well are also lucky because at least they have more ways to escape from it. Being able to freely eat any food you want, afford any beverage (alcoholic or non), go anywhere you want, and not having to deal with the looming fear of homelessness are all fortunate and worthy of my envy.

If I had wealth and loved ones to support me than 98% of my MI would be a non issue. As it stands though, it really is me vs the rest of this lonely world. After all, it's been proven to me time and time again that nobody gives a damn unless it benefits them.

The darkness is my one and only friend, lover, ally, and protector. The darkness is my source of power and my salvation. Without it, I'm weak, powerless, nothing, and nobody.

Life is my war and death shall be my only solice.

I'm lucky now that I have loved ones and financial stability. However, there was a point in my life where I was homeless and literally starving as well.

If you have a severe mental illness, the circumstances can be different but the mental illness won't become a non issue. If circumstances were all it took to cure mental illness, people would never relapse once they start getting their lives in order.

I think you're having a very "grass is so much greener and shinnier" on the other side mindset due to where you are in life right now, but if in the future your circumstances change you might then realize that mentall illness doesn't just magically go away.

Also you were just writing a post not that long ago about how you were sad because you lost someone who helped you and cared about you when they didn't have to go to the extent they did. Keeping yourself in a dark mindset is a very snug security blanket, but I hope some day you'll be able to see how much it limits yourself too.

Originally Posted by TheDragon

I'm lucky now that I have loved ones and financial stability. However, there was a point in my life where I was homeless and literally starving as well.

If you have a severe mental illness, the circumstances can be different but the mental illness won't become a non issue. If circumstances were all it took to cure mental illness, people would never relapse once they start getting their lives in order.

I think you're having a very "grass is so much greener and shinnier" on the other side mindset due to where you are in life right now, but if in the future your circumstances change you might then realize that mentall illness doesn't just magically go away.

Also you were just writing a post not that long ago about how you were sad because you lost someone who helped you and cared about you when they didn't have to go to the extent they did. Keeping yourself in a dark mindset is a very snug security blanket, but I hope some day you'll be able to see how much it limits yourself too.

This mindset does the exact opposite of limit me. Because of the simple fact that I don't have empathy for the overwhelming majority of humanity (excluding people that are struggling somehow such as mental illness, physical illness, poverty, ETC), I have an overwhelming advantage in life. I could screw people over and cause a great deal of harm to those that I don't either consider to be "sufferers" and "outcasts" like myself or those who haven't showed people like me some kind of compassion somewhere and feel no guilt or remorse for it. That is strength in a society that is built around modern day Social Darwinism in the form of capitalism where those with wealth and power are considered the strongest of all human and nonhuman life alike.

I would make a fantastic villain or anti hero in fact. I already have a high score in dark triad personality traits (mainly machiavellianism where I scored in the top 98th percentile the last time I took the test). I am capable of being cunning and utterly ruthless when I need to be and I am also capable of doing a great deal of damage to the large group of people that I don't have empathy for if I felt like doing so would get me ahead in life in a significant way.

I simply refuse to be the poor, defenseless, starving, struggling child that I used to be and I also refuse to give somebody else the power to hurt me anymore and I will sink to any low to protect myself if necessary. Don't get me wrong, I would rather not be like this and one day would like to change, however, until I get to the point where I am well off enough to live a healthy, stable life where where I can start thinking about the future and improving myself rather than being stuck in the present fighting and struggling ever day, changing would put me at a disadvantage and I need every advantage I can get right now.

I am a lonely, empty person inside but I see loneliness and isolation as advantages of their own. It's clear that everybody that comes into my life abandons or hurts me somehow. That friend/case manage in that thread you referenced, my best friend of 7 years, the only female that ever thought I was attractive, more friends, my family; these are all people who have abandoned me when I needed them in the last 2-3 years alone. I have myself convinced that the reason why I have nobody anymore is because of the fact that I am not a benefit to anybody in my current state. I have nobody in my life and I am too much of a self centered empty person to be able to understand and care about other people to build friendships and relationships when I am so focused on myself and my own issues. Even if I did have a bunch of new friends or reconnected with some old ones, they would just abandon me anyways and the reason is likely because of how empty and selfish I've become. The only way that I think people will accept me and the only way some of these people could be reintegrated into my life is if I prove that I'm not a loser with no money, no car, and no income. If I can't be a good, caring person to people, I need to prioritize gaining wealth and power above all else so that people will think I'm useful and not abandon me anymore. I plan on blinding them with how "successful" I become, when in reality, I may sell my very soul so to speak for that in which I desire the most.

Anyway, I'm off to go plot world domination. One day, I might be able to become a real life villain or anti hero after all

I want to be like this dude who is in one of my games:



This is Alarak. He is from the Blizzard game Starcraft 2 but he's also playable in the Blizzard MOBA heroes of the storm. He's the leader of this offshoot group of Protoss (aliens from the Starcraft series that are warriors with technology well beyond that of humans with much longer lifespans and badass psionic powers) called the Tal'darim that is voiced by the guy who plays Q from Star Trek. He is arrogant and over the top and always points out people's flaws and weaknesses. He forces his people to worship him like a god after taking control of them by killing their previous leader in a ritual duel to rebel against a dark god that discarded his people because they outlived their usefulness to him. He is a master manipulator who is always able to out think people and he plays his underlings like chess pieces. He sends those who are the biggest threat to his power into the toughest battles and gets them killed so they can't usurp his throne. His abilities and playstyle reflects his cunning devious nature. In Starcraft 2's Co-Op mode, he gets these supplicant units that he can sacrifice to gain health and he absorbs people's souls to heal and shoots blood red lightning and void energy. In heroes of the storm, he can additionally manipulate people's positioning and has the sadism trait which gives him increased damage that grows more powerful when his allies die. He trash talks his teammates and calls people his supplicants and trash talks everybody in a very awesome funny sounding voice. He rides around on a blood red cloud that forms around him when he rides a mount out of combat to go faster. He also has the Death Fleet as his planet's (called Slayn and aptly titled his people's "Blade World") main fleet of warships and he can call a squad of them in Starcraft 2 and the mothership that leads the death fleet is as big as a city and can create black holes to trap people and shoot red lasers and it's voice actor sounds like a strong warrior female voice that will say things like "Commencing bloodshed" or "They shall die most painfully" when you give it an attack command which is awesome.

Oh and he looks so freaking cool. I want to look like that so bad. If I looked that bad *** nobody would ever mess with me again haha

He's one of the top characters that I fantasize as being. The only reason why I don't set my PC profile as him is because there are people in my life who know how much of an obsession that I have with this guy and I would rather them not find me here if possible.

[TheDragon]

Hahaha Alarak was definitely one of my favourite characters introduced in SC2. He was a great foil to Artanis and pretty damn funny for a Protoss.

Not huge on his playstyle in HotS though. I prefer melee assassins that are a bit tankier or one of the stealthers.

Originally Posted by TheDragon

Hahaha Alarak was definitely one of my favourite characters introduced in SC2. He was a great foil to Artanis and pretty damn funny for a Protoss.

Not huge on his playstyle in HotS though. I prefer melee assassins that are a bit tankier or one of the stealthers.

So you play Hots then?

I don't play him a lot anymore because he is so freaking hard to play. And this is coming from a Li-Ming main who has her past level 60 haha

Yeah I have a personality very similar to his IRL, particularly when around people that aren't strangers. I have been compared to him on more than one occasion by former friends.

I guess it was good that I changed the subject to gaming. I have been so freaking stressed with life lately between trying to find a job, final week in summer classes, and having to worry about my future and how the hell I'm going to survive 3 months from now when my housing grant expires. Gaming always brings together the more light hearted side of me.

I think I am going to binge play Hots this weekend. I'm trying to push Plat in Team League and I'm almost there. I could add you on battle.net if you want since I could always use more gamer buddies.

[plattc509]

Lets start a riot.

Originally Posted by plattc509

Lets start a riot.

Oh hell yes.

Why settle for fantasies when you could make those fantasies reality?

Conquest and glory await us!