For some reason, I feel sad when I listen to certain music; particularly music with soothing female vocals or music that has lyrics that talk about love.

Tonight, for example, I am studying and finishing up homework while listening to dark chillstep on YouTube because it helps me focus. The music has been fine, but then autoplay switched to a different artist and type of chillstep that had some soft soothing female vocals. When this song came on, I felt sadness and felt like crying.

I almost have to stop listening to certain types of music entirely because of this reason. Most of my music library is metal, aggrotech, techno, EDM, dubstep, and new age because listening to more aggressive sounding music makes me feel better than listening to softer tunes and feeling sadness or longing as a result.

Why does this happen to me?

[Shazerac]

I would venture to guess that feel sadness because you are a human being and have emotions

Originally Posted by Shazerac

I would venture to guess that feel sadness because you are a human being and have emotions

I don't want to be a human being and have emotions though.

I just want to be a robot or cyborg or something that is only capable of cold logic and reason.

Life would be simpler and less painful that way.

[Shazerac]

Aww sorry to hear that. I think it would fun to be a cyborg but I would opt for the emotion chip because I like to laugh

[lowpoint]

I don't want to be a human being and have emotions though.

My quote of the night.

[Qwerty Cat]

I feel the same way about the kind of music you mention. I'm female by the way, if that matters. I listen mainly to old punk music, and 80s thrash metal. That's what my dad listened to. He unfortunately passed away in May, which makes it hard to even listen to that music now without getting emotional. I'm like you in that I wish I couldn't feel emotions. But then I also couldn't write decent poetry, and that's basically been my lifesaving coping technique for years. No therapy helped me ever, except the therapy of words. But even my poetry is repulsive in subtle ways. I could never have a large group of readers. It is dark stuff, even if not overtly, being as my word choice is very precise. But I feel like I'm rambling now.

Originally Posted by Shazerac

Aww sorry to hear that. I think it would fun to be a cyborg but I would opt for the emotion chip because I like to laugh

Who knows, I might have my wish to be a cyborg come true sometime later in my lifetime.

I'm getting into something called biohacking, which basically is a way to "upgrade" yourself through a combination of supplements and technological upgrades; external gadgets are the most common but there are some biohackers that make their own implants to place in their body. There was a guy who made a brain implant to enhance one's intelligence and relieve certain types of anxiety, depression, and drug addiction issues. He also made a pelvic implant to boost one's sexual pleasure (although he lost his child to protective services over that lol). There was also a cybernetic hand replacement made that has a built in app store lol.

And yes, I am crazy enough to where I would consent to having some random biohacker dudes who make tech in their basement put implants in my body, despite them not having a license to do so because I want to be rid of my flaws that result from my humanity that badly.

There is nothing enjoyable or beneficial to feeling emotions like sadness. I see feelings like this as an evolutionary flaw that serves no purpose, and therefore, a flaw that I wish to upgrade.

[winter loneliness]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Who knows, I might have my wish to be a cyborg come true sometime later in my lifetime.

.

I bet you would miss feeling your emotions.

Yes, sadness sucks. I really hate crying. The worst feeling in the world. But sometimes really crying and feeling sad can be cleansing too (still not pleasant). Perhaps it is pointless for you to avoid your sadness all of the time. Maybe you just need to allow yourself to feel it. Virtual hugs to you.

(Yes, it would be nice if we could feel good all of the time!)

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I would say you feel sadness with the things you "miss" in life - love is one of those as is female companionship. Any other "pain" in life a song can bring to the surface too, same as it can joy... But in a healing, healthy way. Not a harmful n unhealthy way.

Originally Posted by winter loneliness

I bet you would miss feeling your emotions.

Not really considering the fact that I'm numb a good 85% of the time, angry about 10% and sad for most of the remaining time.

Humans are deeply flawed creatures that need to be rebuilt. We need to build a better human.

Anyways, I guess I shouldn't get further into my more nerdy obsessions with biohacking and transhumanism haha

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I am sure you would like to feel the good emotions...

Happiness, love, excitement, laughter, etc.

Unfortunately, we have to balance the good with the bad. The problem is sometimes that balance gets out of whack.

[Open Eyes]

What an interesting self observation to ponder.

In my own effort to read and observe and study human nature I have learned that boys tend to be encouraged not to be emotional and that it's a sign of weakness. The one emotion that tends to be acceptable it anger, yet, what I remember when I was little was how my mother would constantly say "we don't want to make daddy angry" and then she gave a list of how we had to be quiet when he got home, we were not to bother him in any way, and all the other things we better not do that could make daddy ANGRY.

I remember when my father's beloved collie dog was hit by a car and how he was devastated and how he had to dig a hole to bury it. We peeked out the window and saw him digging and then when he finished he stood in the hole and put his head down and wept. My mother pulled us away from the window and told us how we are not supposed to see our dad cry and how we must never tell him we saw him cry either. She said, men are not supposed to show emotion like that and he would be upset if he knew you saw him upset.

Perhaps the slow music is uncomfortable because you do begin to feel and it sounds to me like you were never allowed to feel "normal" emotions, that it is ok to sit with them and talk about them and learn how to work through them and why you feel them and that it's ok to feel. Because of that lack of nurturing you have grown to hate emotions and you genuinely believe they are bad and a sign of weakness when they happen. This is something a lot of people struggle with and a lot of this comes from how a parent encouraged them to "not feel" or learn about their feelings and that having feelings is ok and normal. Actually, if human beings did not have emotions, human beings would not have survived and thrived in the way human beings have that was so successful where we dominate as a species. We would not have gained in our fight against diseases because there would not be that "care" to do so. We would not preserve life without caring, and we have learned that primates have a degree of "caring" that is essential to how they thrive and survive. We are learning how a lot of if not most mammals have a certain level of "caring" because it's so essential to surviving as a species. It is also the "caring" that compels human beings to study human beings to better understand human nature in an effort towards improving survival as well as learn how to best help ourselves thrive better and longer.

[winter loneliness]

Music makes you feel something. And that something , other than anger and emptiness, is sadness.

[Sunflower123]

I agree with all of the above. You mentioned you were numb 85% of the time, angry 10% of the time and sad for much of the rest of the time. That has to be really tough. Did you ever mention if you had a pdoc, tdoc or take medication? I'm really sorry you are numb so much of the time.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I agree with all of the above. You mentioned you were numb 85% of the time, angry 10% of the time and sad for much of the rest of the time. That has to be really tough. Did you ever mention if you had a pdoc, tdoc or take medication? I'm really sorry you are numb so much of the time.

I don't have a pdoc and I don't want one, nor do I have any desire in taking their poison ever again. The so called "medication" that they give messed me up as a kid. I was obese at 10 and I struggled with all sorts of negative side effects all because of being on a bunch of pills that I didn't need. In fact, I think that those drugs gave me brain damage and are responsible for some of the cognitive issues that I've been dealing with as an adult. I don't trust them. As far as I'm concerned, it's all poison and nothing more to me.

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Perhaps the slow music is uncomfortable because you do begin to feel and it sounds to me like you were never allowed to feel "normal" emotions, that it is ok to sit with them and talk about them and learn how to work through them and why you feel them and that it's ok to feel. Because of that lack of nurturing you have grown to hate emotions and you genuinely believe they are bad and a sign of weakness when they happen. This is something a lot of people struggle with and a lot of this comes from how a parent encouraged them to "not feel" or learn about their feelings and that having feelings is ok and normal. Actually, if human beings did not have emotions, human beings would not have survived and thrived in the way human beings have that was so successful where we dominate as a species. We would not have gained in our fight against diseases because there would not be that "care" to do so. We would not preserve life without caring, and we have learned that primates have a degree of "caring" that is essential to how they thrive and survive. We are learning how a lot of if not most mammals have a certain level of "caring" because it's so essential to surviving as a species. It is also the "caring" that compels human beings to study human beings to better understand human nature in an effort towards improving survival as well as learn how to best help ourselves thrive better and longer.

Thanks for your insight. Unfortunately, I don't think this is the issue.

It's not that I feel uncomfortable with these feelings so much as I find "blue" emotions like sadness and longing painful. I avoid feeling those kind of feelings because I don't want to deal with the pain associated with them.

I would prefer feeling anger, not because it is more "manly" but because anger makes me feel like I have power and makes me feel motivated to actually do something about my problems instead of cry and complain about them. Crying to music and getting lost in my thoughts of longing about how I crave love or long for better times or whatever else serves no practical purpose and only hurts me further. Why deal with more needless pain when I could instead use anger to motivate myself to actually do something about my problems?

[winter loneliness]

Ignoring your sensitive side and hoping it goes away, is not a good plan. You are "killing" something inside of you.

Originally Posted by winter loneliness

Ignoring your sensitive side and hoping it goes away, is not a good plan. You are "killing" something inside of you.

Maybe killing off my sensitive side would be better for me then?

It's not like I will have anybody to love me in my life anytime soon, therefore, I see no real need to be sensitive. About the only logical benefit that I could think of about being sensitive is that it's good for building intimate relationships. Such a skill will do me no good when I won't have anybody for a long time, if ever, due to how busy that I am and due to my own issues. I can't be expected to hold out this long on my own without changing myself to survive. If I must stop being sensitive, than so be it.

At least then, I could focus on finishing my education and starting a successful business without dealing with a part of me that only holds me back.

[Open Eyes]

I would prefer feeling anger, not because it is more "manly" but because anger makes me feel like I have power and makes me feel motivated to actually do something about my problems instead of cry and complain about them

Anger produces adrenaline, it pumps up the system for "fight" mode. But it's not good when the anger is turned inward or into hate.

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Anger produces adrenaline, it pumps up the system for "fight" mode. But it's not good when the anger is turned inward or into hate.

Why isn't it though?

Turning my anger inward has always helped me cope. Anytime that I feel sad, overwhelmed, or depressed, I have always done this.

An example would be a music playlist that I have for when I feel sadness or helplessness come in or when life has me so overwhelmed. The music is heavy violent music like death metal or heavy aggrotech that enhances my aggression. Also, the lyrics in many of these songs sound demonic, both in how they sound and what they talk about. I won't go into detail as to what they say so I don't trigger people, but I listen to music like this while fantasizing about killing people who piss me off and taking over the government or the world with super villain abilities like black magic, mental domination, or necromancy. When I do this to cope, I always feel better.

Maybe I'm just a bad person for enjoying feeling anger and malice? At least I enjoy it more than being sad and crying like a helpless little baby.

I promise that I'm not trying to argue with you or anything; I'm just trying to figure things out.

[winter loneliness]

I don't think you are a bad person.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Maybe killing off my sensitive side would be better for me then?

It's not like I will have anybody to love me in my life anytime soon, therefore, I see no real need to be sensitive. About the only logical benefit that I could think of about being sensitive is that it's good for building intimate relationships. Such a skill will do me no good when I won't have anybody for a long time, if ever, due to how busy that I am and due to my own issues. I can't be expected to hold out this long on my own without changing myself to survive. If I must stop being sensitive, than so be it.

At least then, I could focus on finishing my education and starting a successful business without dealing with a part of me that only holds me back.

You overlook a few different things.

Being sensitive allows you to help others resolve their problems thereby also helping you to learn to deal with similar situations in your own life in the future if needed. Also, the mere interpersonal socialization stimulates the brain to help you combat things such as depression and social anxiety amongst other things by assisting in the production of dopamine.

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-ne...-activity.html

Your brain is again stimulated by the problem solving portion of being sensitive to others. Your brain produces another chemical called glutamate which also combats depression amongst other mental illnesses.

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/educ...n-basics.shtml

Now ... on top of that, should you happen to find someone that does even as much as touch your hand, or give you a hug, or a back rub, or any other type of physical human touch contact, you receive two more powerful aids to the brain... cortisol and oxytocin.

Human Connections Start With A Friendly Touch : NPR

All of this is true whether or not you have a love relationship with anyone.

So...why should you keep trying? Why should you keep allowing yourself to be sensitive? For your health!

*hugs*

[avlady]

it is good you are not listening to the music you say makes you sad. Music has always been a passion of mine, i taught classical music for a few years. There is such a thing as music therapy and it takes years to become a certified therapist. I think it would deal with emotions too. Music can for me change how i am feeling but i have to be in the mood for some music. sometimes in the middle of the night i will listen to the radio and keep changing the station as i need to hear a certain kind of music or not good luck!

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by avlady

it is good you are not listening to the music you say makes you sad. Music has always been a passion of mine, i taught classical music for a few years. There is such a thing as music therapy and it takes years to become a certified therapist. I think it would deal with emotions too. Music can for me change how i am feeling but i have to be in the mood for some music. sometimes in the middle of the night i will listen to the radio and keep changing the station as i need to hear a certain kind of music or not good luck!

I would honestly say it depends, as to whether or not it is good. Sometimes, one goes through sad emotions in order to work through a past event that they may have to heal from and have avoided dealing with or facing until that point. Music, at times, lets a person do that without needing to "force it". The person would still go through the "roller coaster of emotions" caused by healing, but would not also have the pain of "overpowering" one's instinct to "protect" oneself by "not looking". So, if that person also chooses not to listen to the music, that person denies themselves a gentler approach to healing.

On the other hand, sometimes, music can trigger memories one is not yet prepared to handle. At that point, one would go through emotions similar to PTSD but not quite as strong. If, however, the person chooses to continue listening, it can either heal the person faster or harden the person n make it harder for the person to heal by numbing that person.

So, it depends on the person, their situation, and their exact reaction.