How do people with mental health issues manage major life challenges? Especially when they come one after another after another?

My life has been this way for about ten years now -- no joke. It's been one major challenge after another, for years! I also deal with periodic depression and PTSD and more frequently, anxiety.

I have come to a point where I don't think I am coping well, and I think I am shirking away from facing the challenges at present. I am trying to avoid a depression episode, but I feel it slowly creeping up on me. All I want to do is lay down, watch TV and avoid the issues. I am at a point of avoidance rather than facing the challenges head on.

I am tired of the constant battle. I am worn out. I feel I have little fight left in me.

So, does anyone have any advice on how to manage life difficulties on top of mental health issues, when it's already been too many battles???

How does one solider on in life, when one is SO burnt out from the constant battle??

Originally Posted by golden_eve

My life has been this way for about ten years now -- no joke. It's been one major challenge after another, for years! I also deal with periodic depression and PTSD and more frequently, anxiety.

I have come to a point where I don't think I am coping well, and I think I am shirking away from facing the challenges at present. I am trying to avoid a depression episode, but I feel it slowly creeping up on me. All I want to do is lay down, watch TV and avoid the issues. I am at a point of avoidance rather than facing the challenges head on.

I am tired of the constant battle. I am worn out.

I see all these things in your posts.

I do not know if you would get it but have you ever considered applying for disabilty? I was able to get disability from Oct 2015 until Apr 2018. The financial help it gave me helped me take more time to treat and figure out my mental issues. The money helped alleviate some of the stress in my life. I applied for my disability online using my medical records (did it all by myself) That was when I found out what my diagnoses were--I used the diagnoses in my medical records then Social Security had me go to their doctors. So I just applied and went to the appointment they set up for me then was approved six months after I applied. I encourage you to apply. It was easy and the worst that could happen is that they say "No." (Unfortunately you are used to this--what's one more "No" and you can appeal if they say no.)

Golden Eve, the financial struggle to survive and worries about the future literally drives many of us mad. I see how hard you try. You are so sweet--we all hope you get a break soon.

[MickeyCheeky]

Try to take it one step at the time. Break it into little pieces. Think of what you have to do today/tomorrow first and then get progressively bigger when you're done with that, and feel comfortable.

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

I see all these things in your posts.

I do not know if you would get it but have you ever considered applying for disabilty? I was able to get disability from Oct 2015 until Apr 2018. The financial help it gave me helped me take more time to treat and figure out my mental issues. The money helped alleviate some of the stress in my life. I applied for my disability online using my medical records (did it all by myself) That was when I found out what my diagnoses were--I used the diagnoses in my medical records then Social Security had me go to their doctors. So I just applied and went to the appointment they set up for me then was approved six months after I applied. I encourage you to apply. It was easy and the worst that could happen is that they say "No." (Unfortunately you are used to this--what's one more "No" and you can appeal if they say no.)

Golden Eve, the financial struggle to survive and worries about the future literally drives many of us mad. I see how hard you try. You are so sweet--we all hope you get a break soon.

AWW, TY, Hoping! You are SO kind and SO sweet. I always appreciate your replies.

I don't exactly qualify for disability since my mental health issues do not interfere with my ability to work and/or function in life. There is no documentation with a psych doc that backs that up. I am pretty high functioning despite my mental health issues, which is part of the problem. My depression episodes are typically due to stressful/bad life circumstances and come and go. I don't always deal with depression, even though I am being treated for it with meds and therapy.

Plus, my family disagrees with me applying for disability. They think that's giving in and not fighting hard enough. They don't think I am disabled enough to qualify, and my father is a psychiatrist. So, it's really not an option for me, though I appreciate the suggestion.

My only option is to keep fighting, but I feel I cannot anymore. Argh.

Maybe I need a real vacation. I haven't taken one since this all began ten years ago. But of course, I cannot afford it and am also looking for work right now. SIGH.

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Try to take it one step at the time. Break it into little pieces. Think of what you have to do today/tomorrow first and then get progressively bigger when you're done with that, and feel comfortable.

TY as well, Mickey!! You are always so sweet & so supportive -- much appreciated!!!

YES. I agree with this. Bite sized pieces. I really just want to duck and hide and avoid. I feel like I'm moving very slowly..... I am not tackling things with 100% gusto like I used to. I guess that shows how burnt out I am. :/

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I don't exactly qualify for disability since my mental health issues do not interfere with my ability to work and/or function in life. There is no documentation with a psych doc that backs that up. I am pretty high functioning despite my mental health issues, which is part of the problem. My depression episodes are typically due to stressful/bad life circumstances and come and go. I don't always deal with depression, even though I am being treated for it with meds and therapy.

Plus, my family disagrees with me applying for disability. They think that's giving in and not fighting hard enough. They don't think I am disabled enough to qualify, and my father is a psychiatrist. So, it's really not an option for me, though I appreciate the suggestion.

My only option is to keep fighting, but I feel I cannot anymore. Argh.

Maybe I need a real vacation. I haven't taken one since this all began ten years ago. But of course, I cannot afford it and am also looking for work right now. SIGH.

Golden Eve--I am high functioning too! I attempted 4 days after a temporary job ended (I was doing tech support in a call center--a 40 hour a week job). But I really needed this break to heal. I had been dealing with a lot of financial stress for a very long time. If your dad has never dealt with job insecurity--he just may not understand despite being a psychiatrist. My father's generation had more job opportunities IMO.

The fact that you are treating it with meds and therapy means that you can use those records to apply. You need a break from your financial worries for a while. Financial stress is pushing you over the edge. Though your father is a psychiatrist--he is also your parent--sometimes parents want to see their children in certain ways and are blind to some realities. Though your families nonsupport would be a problem. Social Security asked me to give a questionaire about how I was coping to someone who knew me well--I gave mine to my husband. He thinks I am crazy so he may have been the edge I needed to get approved. But I still think you should apply. Your father doesn't have to know. Would your mother be supportive? Or a sibling? Someone who really knows you.....

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

Golden Eve--I am high functioning too! I attempted 4 days after a temporary job ended (I was doing tech support in a call center--a 40 hour a week job). But I really needed this break to heal. I had been dealing with a lot of financial stress for a very long time. If your dad has never dealt with job insecurity--he just may not understand despite being a psychiatrist. My father's generation had more job opportunities IMO.

The fact that you are treating it with meds and therapy means that you can use those records to apply. You need a break from your financial worries for a while. Financial stress is pushing you over the edge. Though your father is a psychiatrist--he is also your parent--sometimes parents want to see their children in certain ways and are blind to some realities. Though your families nonsupport would be a problem. Social Security asked me to give a questionaire about how I was coping to someone who knew me well--I gave mine to my husband. He thinks I am crazy so he may have been the edge I needed to get approved. But I still think you should apply. Your father doesn't have to know. Would your mother be supportive? Or a sibling? Someone who really knows you.....

You know, I actually ended up in the emergency room suicidal two years ago after my boss had bullied me for months on end. That is on record with the hospital.

A part of me is a bit prideful too? I think? And worried about the stigma and repercussions, especially employment-wise? Do employers need to know you've been on disability? Do they find out? I don't want any potential employer knowing my mental health history whatsover. I am very private.

I also don't know if I even qualify. I know that here where I live, disability is VERY difficult to obtain -- that they typically reject you upon first application and that it can take years to get approval. That alone is a huge deterrent.

I think my therapist would be the only one who could complete that questionnaire about how I am coping.... I wonder what she would say. I can ask her next week when I see her. You have my wheels turning certainly, but I just don't know.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

So sorry, Eve.

Your poor brain does seem to be crying out for a holiday. As you say, that feeling of avoiding things is not the same as healthily putting your issues aside.

Even assuming you have only a few dollars to spare, is there any place or person or way you could take a weekend away?

If it were me, I'd hopefully try and book a dirt-cheap room in an out-of-season holiday town. I could probably get one for £20. A cheapest-available coach ticket? About £17!

For me, it would be an investment, as long walks on the beach, and refusing to let myself try and solve any of my problems for a whole weekend, would do my brain the world of good.

Thinking of you, Eve!

You will prevail!

Originally Posted by golden_eve

A part of me is a bit prideful too? I think? And worried about the stigma and repercussions, especially employment-wise? Do employers need to know you've been on disability? Do they find out? I don't want any potential employer knowing my mental health history whatsover. I am very private.

I also don't know if I even qualify. I know that here where I live, disability is VERY difficult to obtain -- that they typically reject you upon first application and that it can take years to get approval. That alone is a huge deterrent.

I think my therapist would be the only one who could complete that questionnaire about how I am coping.... I wonder what she would say. I can ask her next week when I see her. You have my wheels turning certainly, but I just don't know. Sure, you might be declined but you have earned the right to apply.

I have not told any employers about my disability; there is no requirement to do so if you are disabled. Of course, if you choose not to tell them about your disability--they are not required to accomodate you in any way. I assume some employers might hesitate in hiring someone with a disability (but not admit it--they don't want to get fined) while there are other companies who have hired many disabled people. Many of my coworkers in my current part time job are disabled so some companies truly do not discriminate.

Just apply. You will simply be doing all you can do to come up with some income in order to survive. Everytime you pay social security taxes (we all do), you have been paying into the system. Don't be afraid or guilty to about trying to access the benefits that are there for us. Yes, you might be declined but you have earned the right to apply and I encourage you to do so.

[divine1966]

I am sorry you are struggling. I know it will get better.

I think based on what you were posting, you’d benefit from life coach and vocational counselor. Some type of professional who could line up your options and steps in gaining independence and leading enjoyable or at least manageable life.

You might need to reconsider your career if it’s not generating income or you don’t seem to ever find or sustain full time position. As much as you might like what you do, if that doesn’t pay your bills, puts you into position of living with parents for years and overall just doesn’t do what job suppose to do, it might not be right for you. Someone needs to help you find ways to become independent. Something needs to happen so your life changes for the better.

I am not saying you need help because you can’t do it, but if it’s been like this for years then it’s ok to seek help.

If your depression and anxiety are at a level that require medication but it doesn’t seem working, then perhaps do medication review/change/increase/decrease.

You may consider different types of therapy if what you have isn’t moving you right direction.

Find some great motivator. Something you really really want and willing to fight for it. Make that your motivation. And then get professional help to get there one step at a time.

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

So sorry, Eve.

Your poor brain does seem to be crying out for a holiday. As you say, that feeling of avoiding things is not the same as healthily putting your issues aside.

Even assuming you have only a few dollars to spare, is there any place or person or way you could take a weekend away?

If it were me, I'd hopefully try and book a dirt-cheap room in an out-of-season holiday town. I could probably get one for £20. A cheapest-available coach ticket? About £17!

For me, it would be an investment, as long walks on the beach, and refusing to let myself try and solve any of my problems for a whole weekend, would do my brain the world of good.

Thinking of you, Eve!

You will prevail!

Hi Purple! There you are. I haven't seen you in a while. TY so much.

You know it's funny it's been brought up -- I actually have a cancelled flight I could use before the end of this month. It's already paid for. All I would need to pay for is hotel, food and transportation to and from the airport.

HMMMMMMMMMM..... a long walk on the beach sounds absolutely magnificent!!!!

PLUS, I was given $1,000 severance when I lost one of my jobs recently. I could use a portion of that to fund the trip.

Maybe this is just what I need. I could go to Florida.... Ahhhh.. just the thought of that makes me SO happy.

[divine1966]

Short vacation sounds like a good idea!

Maybe this is just what I need. I could go to Florida.... Ahhhh.. just the thought of that makes me SO happy.

Though it could ruin some of your vacation I think you should consider job searching in Florida (but you don't have to search the whole time, just during a day or two of it). Perhaps the job market will be better in the place you choose to vacation!

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

I have not told any employers about my disability; there is no requirement to do so if you are disabled. Of course, if you choose not to tell them about your disability--they are not required to accomodate you in any way. I assume some employers might hesitate in hiring someone with a disability (but not admit it--they don't want to get fined) while there are other companies who have hired many disabled people. Many of my coworkers in my current part time job are disabled so some companies truly do not discriminate.

Just apply. You will simply be doing all you can do to come up with some income in order to survive. Everytime you pay social security taxes (we all do), you have been paying into the system. Don't be afraid or guilty to about trying to access the benefits that are there for us. Yes, you might be declined but you have earned the right to apply and I encourage you to do so.

I see... OK. I definitely wouldn't disclose this myself to any employer. I will talk to my therapist about this next week. TY!

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am sorry you are struggling. I know it will get better.

I think based on what you were posting, you’d benefit from life coach and vocational counselor. Some type of professional who could line up your options and steps in gaining independence and leading enjoyable or at least manageable life.

You might need to reconsider your career if it’s not generating income or you don’t seem to ever find or sustain full time position. As much as you might like what you do, if that doesn’t pay your bills, puts you into position of living with parents for years and overall just doesn’t do what job suppose to do, it might not be right for you. Someone needs to help you find ways to become independent. Something needs to happen so your life changes for the better.

I am not saying you need help because you can’t do it, but if it’s been like this for years then it’s ok to seek help.

If your depression and anxiety are at a level that require medication but it doesn’t seem working, then perhaps do medication review/change/increase/decrease.

You may consider different types of therapy if what you have isn’t moving you right direction.

Find some great motivator. Something you really really want and willing to fight for it. Make that your motivation. And then get professional help to get there one step at a time.

TY Divine!

It just HAS to get better. It has to.

My one part time job is giving me a great salary. The highest I've earned to date. I got a huge raise with this position from my last, and I am finally earning what I am worth. So that's good at least.

As far as a life coach goes or vocational counseling, I cannot afford that unless I get unemployment benefits. Life coaches usually don't take insurance, at least not here.

I'm knee deep in my career path at this point. I could switch gears possibly, but I don't know. I like what I do and am pretty good at it, but it's very challenging to say the least.

Layoffs are now the norm in life. That's just a part of life and especially I think in high tech and Internet jobs. I had a steady job for nearly three years -- well, 2.5 before they cut my job in half. And before that, I was consulting and freelancing, which is never steady.

I know I need to work very hard in my career path in order to make it. I don't know what the heck I would switch into if I did change paths.

I suppose I could increase my anti-depressant, though I may be at the highest dose. I take it every other day and could start taking it everyday instead. That was by my own choice to try and save it since I don't have a psych doc right now.

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

Though it could ruin some of your vacation I think you should consider job searching in Florida (but you don't have to search the whole time, just during a day or two of it). Perhaps the job market will be better in the place you choose to vacation!

I actually have no vacation days in my job, lol. I am a part time contractor right now. But I work from home and could take my computer and work from FL. I am in Boston, a huge job hub, so I think the options here are better for me than in FL in my field.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

I see all these things in your posts.

I do not know if you would get it but have you ever considered applying for disabilty? I was able to get disability from Oct 2015 until Apr 2018. The financial help it gave me helped me take more time to treat and figure out my mental issues. The money helped alleviate some of the stress in my life. I applied for my disability online using my medical records (did it all by myself) That was when I found out what my diagnoses were--I used the diagnoses in my medical records then Social Security had me go to their doctors. So I just applied and went to the appointment they set up for me then was approved six months after I applied. I encourage you to apply. It was easy and the worst that could happen is that they say "No." (Unfortunately you are used to this--what's one more "No" and you can appeal if they say no.)

Golden Eve, the financial struggle to survive and worries about the future literally drives many of us mad. I see how hard you try. You are so sweet--we all hope you get a break soon.

I was going to suggest this. Maybe a break from work would be helpful. Even if you could take like a 30 day leave of absence, if maybe your parents would help you with affording that right now, so you could seek like weekly T appointments and maybe do a PHP to help you build coping skills. I'm of the mind that don't take the time off without a treatment plan to work on the issues while you are away from work. Otherwise (I speak from experience) you will kind of flounder for a bit and coming back to work is harder.

At one point I took a 30 day medical leave to get a break from work and reset myself. I eventually then went on SSDI, but I didn't use my 30 day medical leave too wisely. I tried to have a treatment plan, but I wish I had actually gone to a facility or done a PHP or IOP.

Seesaw

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Hi Purple! There you are. I haven't seen you in a while. TY so much.

You know it's funny it's been brought up -- I actually have a cancelled flight I could use before the end of this month. It's already paid for. All I would need to pay for is hotel, food and transportation to and from the airport.

HMMMMMMMMMM..... a long walk on the beach sounds absolutely magnificent!!!!

PLUS, I was given $1,000 severance when I lost one of my jobs recently. I could use a portion of that to fund the trip.

Maybe this is just what I need. I could go to Florida.... Ahhhh.. just the thought of that makes me SO happy.

You have a flight already paid for? You could go to Florida???

Ha ha. Sounds amazing.

That would put the spring back in your step!

[divine1966]

It’s good that you get paid well but unfortunately if it doesn’t allow you to be independent and have your own place and pay your own bills, it isn’t paid well enough. Plus lack of health insurance and likely inability to buy private one (not affordable), just indicates that unfortunately that’s not enough.

You might qualify for free vocational services. In your state it’s MRC, Massachusets Rehabilitation Commission. It’s free. If you have a legitimate diagnosis, apply and if you qualify, you might get assistance in whatever areas you need. You’d be surprised what they can help with if you qualify. It doesn’t matter that you are high functioning, it’s not just for low functioning people. You clearly have hard time managing your life and you have a diagnosis. I am speaking from professional stand point here and know exactly what I am talking about.

Now of course you might not qualify but you wouldn’t know unless you tried. They’d likely give you their evaluation even if you bring diagnosis from your doctor. I’d try.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by seesaw

I was going to suggest this. Maybe a break from work would be helpful. Even if you could take like a 30 day leave of absence, if maybe your parents would help you with affording that right now, so you could seek like weekly T appointments and maybe do a PHP to help you build coping skills. I'm of the mind that don't take the time off without a treatment plan to work on the issues while you are away from work. Otherwise (I speak from experience) you will kind of flounder for a bit and coming back to work is harder.

At one point I took a 30 day medical leave to get a break from work and reset myself. I eventually then went on SSDI, but I didn't use my 30 day medical leave too wisely. I tried to have a treatment plan, but I wish I had actually gone to a facility or done a PHP or IOP.

Seesaw

Good point. My daughter took almost 3 months medical leave when she lost her husband in a tragic accident unexpectedly. She was in no shape to work. Well originally doctor gave her few weeks but then extended it several times because of her condition. She did intense bereveament/grief counseling (it was very good and made a huge difference) while gone and was ready to be back to work. I know it’s a different situation but in a way it’s similar. Taking time off work in order to get yourself in a better mental shape is a good idea.

Originally Posted by seesaw

I was going to suggest this. Maybe a break from work would be helpful. Even if you could take like a 30 day leave of absence, if maybe your parents would help you with affording that right now, so you could seek like weekly T appointments and maybe do a PHP to help you build coping skills. I'm of the mind that don't take the time off without a treatment plan to work on the issues while you are away from work. Otherwise (I speak from experience) you will kind of flounder for a bit and coming back to work is harder.

At one point I took a 30 day medical leave to get a break from work and reset myself. I eventually then went on SSDI, but I didn't use my 30 day medical leave too wisely. I tried to have a treatment plan, but I wish I had actually gone to a facility or done a PHP or IOP.

Seesaw

Thanks, Seesaw, though I really can't do that. I will lose my one job if I take a month away for mental health reasons. I am 100% certain that that would be the case.

[Deejay14]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Thanks, Seesaw, though I really can't do that. I will lose my one job if I take a month away for mental health reasons. I am 100% certain that that would be the case.

Golden, this is not the time to be taking your meds half the time. Take them everyday because you will feel the difference and that can't be helping you right now. The meds help with both depression and anxiety. You can contact the company that makes you drug and ask for some financial help. Your father knows the importance of taking meds as prescribed. He might be able to help with that in some way. I am happy to hear you are getting paid better than before, buttock up a job, anything you can get to afford your meds. Being a server at a decent restaurant two nights a week might be all you need to pay for meds. Also maybe your doc would consider changing to a cheaper med out of pocket. Citations is one of the cheaper ones based on my co pays.

It looks like I may only have four months of unemployment benefits available to me, which makes things far worse and totally puts me under the gun to find work. I am freaking out. I have to move before then... well before then.

It's also impossible to get through to the unemployment center by phone!!!

I wish I knew if I need to submit a new claim or to go on my pre-existing claim. I don't even know. I re-opened my pre-existing claim online since it's with the same company that reduced my hours before.

ARGH!!!! I want to scream right now.

Originally Posted by Deejay14

Golden, this is not the time to be taking your meds half the time. Take them everyday because you will feel the difference and that can't be helping you right now. The meds help with both depression and anxiety. You can contact the company that makes you drug and ask for some financial help. Your father knows the importance of taking meds as prescribed. He might be able to help with that in some way. I am happy to hear you are getting paid better than before, buttock up a job, anything you can get to afford your meds. Being a server at a decent restaurant two nights a week might be all you need to pay for meds. Also maybe your doc would consider changing to a cheaper med out of pocket. Citations is one of the cheaper ones based on my co pays.

Thanks very much.

Honesty I don't feel any difference between taking them every day and every other day, but I may follow your advice and start taking them every day.

I am really overwhelmed right now. :/

I cannot even think straight. I'm too freaked out by all that is happening.

[cool09]

I can't take on challenges. I'm a mess.