[DePressMe]

I don’t even know where to start with this post…who knows where I will put because I am not sure what I am going to say…I have a million things running around in my head—my thoughts are all tangled up.

My grandma just passed. I took 3 days off work for the funeral. Work is attempting to give me 3 “incidents” that could lead to disciplinary action. We have bereavement of 3 days, but they say it still counts against me. If I get a migraine or the flu in the next 6 months, I could be fired. “nothing personal, just policy.”

Work is stressful enough—we are super busy and I am putting in long hours. Since I am salary, I don’t get paid overtime. It just all seems like a crock of horse dung.

My meds are doing pretty good for my depression…I just feel super stressed out. I am not sleeping or eating enough. In general, I am just not taking care of myself. I am not really sure what is going on in my head. I just know I don’t really like where I am at right now.

I am not really sure what is going on in my head.

DePressMe,

I said this in your other post but in case you don't see it, the first thing that popped into my head when I read this was it sounds like you're grieving or maybe seeing the family for the funeral etc. is starting to settle in.

I might be way off, but that's what I thought of. Also that maybe your meds aren't working as good as you think?

Take Care,

Petunia

[chalmette70043]

((((((Depressme)))))))

Im sorry you're feeling so down. Wish there was something i could say or do to help you feel better.

Will keep you in my thoughts. Hoping your place of work comes to their senses.

chalmette

[Perna]

DePressMe, so sorry you are stressed. I would focus on some sort of self-care (eating better :-) and defuse some of the tangled stress by working in that direction a bit with the stress energy. Go buy yourself a bottle of good Vitamin B complex or go find a diner that serves liver :-) or buy a veggie and dip platter to snack on, etc. I started to take the veggie platters to work and my whole office would make a beeline to work on it, tired of sweet rolls, etc. for breakfast.

When I get that stressed, I find a good book/novel and read it off and on to defuse at times; during lunch or breaks, at night before bed, etc. It gives me another "story" to think about at odd moments instead of worrying about my own.

depressed me i agree with petunia
I am sorry for your loss

[eskielover]

DePressMe,

I know when I was reading about the passing of your Grandma, you sounded very casual about it. It sounds that you have so much going on in your own life around you with your job situation that your concerns are there (where they should be....not saying anything wrong about that). I seems that with all the stress you have going on in your life & then the grieving for your Grandma is in here also it is natural to not be able to focus on any one thing that is causing the confusion you are experiencing.

I know for me when I get stressed, I can't eat...I actually feel sick when I eat, so I don't eat when I get stressed. When my Mother was dying 3 years ago & the stress of the situation was so bad, I couldn't eat. My pdoc told me that I wasn't able to comprehend everything that was going on around me because of the lack of nutrition. The problem was that I couldn't keep food down with all the stress & wasn't something I could fix at the time. But it is something you need to focus on is getting your nutrition back into balance.

Then you will be able to start sorting through your thoughts. It sounds to me like your job situation isn't the best & I might consider trying to find some other job before they fire you "because of nothing personal...just policy". You don't need that kind of stress hanging over your head.

I know my career situation wasn't something I could get out of, so I understand if that is possibly your situation also, but if at all possible, I think that is where I would start.

I know they say not to make many changes at one time....if a death in the family....don't change jobs or move or whatever.....but it's important to look after yourself & if that means making a change in career/job, then it's important to focus on the things that you can make changes to in order to lessen the stresses in your life.

There must be more things going on that just job & your Grandma's passing that are bothering you but I would try to list all the things that are stressors & see what ones you can make changes to & what ones just have to be delt with. Then try to come up with the solutions on how to get rid of the stress or at least reduce it.

I know this sounds text bookish, but it has worked in the past for me. I have also had times where I couldn't make any changes that would reduce the stress & that was a very serious time for me.....

The place to start is with your nutrition however, so your mind can start working again & able to identify your stressors. From there, you can figure out what changes you can actually make to get rid of those stressors & try to lessen the others that have to stay.

Based on my past experiences with stressors, I hope these suggestions might help a bit for you,
Debbie

[DePressMe]

Thank you all--I really do appreciate the suggestions and support.

I am going to focus on taking care of myself a little more and I might even try to read a book...if I can get my brain to calm down long enough.

I'll make it. It's just, right now, I feel like I need you guys.

[AAAAA]

DePressMe,

First I am so sorry for your loss. I know how stressful and emotional this time can be. Grief can do so many things to your mind and body.

Second I know exactly the tightrope you're walking with work. The very position you are in places that much more stress and can create that many more problems.

My only suggestion is to make sure that you have a Doctor's slip for absenses. I KNOW the last thing on the planet you want to do when you have a migrane is go to the doctor, but hopefully your doctor will work with you. Another thing to look at if you are stressed is the Family Medical Leave Act, talk to your doctor about the amount of stress you are going through and the workload you have to deal with. Your doctor can give you time off to deal with these things and the company you work for cannot do a thing about it. My doctor for example gave me time off with the explaination "under a physician's care, off work until further notice, will re-evaluate ...." It is his belief that your employer does not need to know why you need the time off, only that it is necessary. There are a couple of downsides to this, one they do not have to pay you unless you have sick time and two your employer may require the minimum time off to be longer than you're willing to take.

I'd look at your state's labor website for guidelines with your employee handbook in hand.

I wish you the very best of luck dealing with your grief, depression, and stress at work. I know when it rains it pours, but also that this too shall pass. Hang in there! You've been a great source of encouragement and support to so many people, take some time for yourself now.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Your Grandma passing was a huge... huge... thing... and I am so very sorry that you are being mis-treated at your work...it makes me so very angry... that they would treat you this way..

supporting you... (((hugs)))

[Raynaadi]

(((( DePressMe )))))

I can't believe what your work is doing. That just makes me mad......sounds like its probably a big corporation eh? I used to work for a company like that.

I can't say anything that hasn't been said already but I'm glad you reached out here. I know I need PC so much when I'm hurting and stressed, and its always such a relieve to know I have friends ALWAYS available on my computer.

Try to stay in today and not worry yourself about future illnesses and migraines and such. Hopefully the universe will keep those things from happening until your "absense clock" gets reset. I know for me, when I think about the possibilities in the future, I get even more stressed and worried than if I just keep it in today. I know thats easier said than done though.

Anyone who thinks 3 days is enough for grieving....wow. And to count that against you......how insenstive. Makes me mad for you!!!

Anyway, just try and take good care of you, take a bath or paint or whatever it is that helps you relax and keep posting, keep getting it out. Sharing it decreases the burden a bit; let us carry it for you!!!!!

This too shall pass and you will be OK. I have faith in that.


Rayna

[wickedwings]

((((depressme)))) i don't know what you do for a living, but it doesn't sound like they're being supportive to you. your work seems to be creating a conflict with you that may be making it difficult for you to take care of yourself effectively.

years ago, i tried holding down jobs (one at a time, of course). but, i was too exhausted on my down-time that i couldn't take care of myself at all. it wasn't even worth it, so i had to go on disability. i haven't been able to hold down a job in many years. i understand how hard it is.

last, but not least, i'm very sorry for your loss.

[Doh2007]

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. You sure don't need to be dealing with work stuff when you're already just trying to cope.

I feel your pain.

[seeker1950]

Depressme....Hon!
I am sorry for the passing of your grandmother.
I am most concerned for you regarding the stress of your job right now. Companies need to be more compassionate when one is going thru such things. If I were you, I'd think about finding another place to work if that is at all feasible.
Today...just to share with you...I took a letter over to my board of education office from the Hospice social worker, stating that I would be needed in my home for the care of my mother. I've been missing a lot of work lately, but everyone has been understanding and I am just using my sick leave, since I've accrued a lot of it over the years, not missing except when I was too sick. I think this is the way it should be for employees, and I wish you were in such a situation.
Love
Patty