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#1
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Ok so i have been getting angered easily lately an di feel very uncomfortable. I am going to make a list of everything that has happened to me starting since december.
My mom comes out,I see who she really is. she is very negative, trys to control, overall felt a huge negative cloud from her. My tub starts to flud from the bottem, my daughters room has water in the carpet on the floor and in the wall. (during this whole time i am in extreme pain from what we think is fibromyalgia) My mom leaves so we think things will feel better in the home and some stress will be relieved. People come and look at the bathroom. Comeback and rip the shower out. Come back a few days or more later and replace it. (it's still not useable) The next day the water heater tank leaks lots of water and isn't working. The next day another guy comes to fix the wall around the new shower and says he'll be back. My husband is told he is deploying even after he told them he couldn't when they asked if he could go. It's not because he just doesn't want to go to iraq. it's because if he leaves I will be stuck. I need someone to help me get out of bed in the morning and need help througout the day because of my extreme amounts of pain. I am as trong girl and brush it off when i ache but these pains throughtout my body feel like i got hit by a bus. My husband works third shift now so he can be home in the day just in case i fall over in pain, which has happened at times. So my house still needs fixed. the one room with water damaged still needs fixed. the bathroom needs to be finished and this happened in december all the way up untill now. It's the end of january. My daughter has been acting out. She constantly whines or fake whines and she doesn't stop. her actions don't make sense. and i finally thought i knew what it was but that doesn't seem to be it at all. Dealing with the house, my daughter, my pain, my mom i finally broke down and relapsed. i cut myself. Thats the third time this year but this time was a serious mental breakdown.(all of 07 to 08) i quit cutting years ago. The first time was out of stupidity, the second because i couldn't handle what was going on and this recent time because i am trying to take all the stress and physical pain away. All i did was cry. i have cryed more this year(07 to beginning of 08)then ever before. last september my husband was deployed and i miscarried our child. I was living with my mom and then came back to where we live when he got back. We have been through ups and downs but for the most part everything was ok. His work let out at 1pm. we got used to this scedule for a long time and i was having problems stayign awake no matter how much sleep i got and my pain was worsening and they changed his job and he worked until 5pm. not good. so he went to third shift. bad things have been happening since last september of 06 and usually a lot of bad things happen at once and then go away but ever since then it's one thing after another with little breaks in between. Now it's all at once and the bad things won't stop coming. Everyday i force myself out of bed and everything starts out smooth and then my daughter starts and then bad news abot my husbands work. sigh. This is long. i am sorry if it sounds overwhelming or boring but i just want to know why bad things keep happening. Luckily i am not suicidal right now. I mean i am ready to go but i am not going to act on it. But what if i snap? How do i stop this cycle. i mean i have suffered a lot of my years and i am still very young.i just want peace. i want people to care-like doctors. they never care at the military hospital i go to. I need a cleansing of my house from negative energy and i need to stay alive because i feel half dead.
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What is real is not the external form, but the essence of things . . . it is impossible for anyone to express anything essentially real by imitating its exterior surface. -Constantin, Brancusi |
#2
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Wow Star, when it rains it pours. With all of the things going on right not maybe your daughter is reacting to all of the stress in the house as well. I don't know how old she is, but whining is a typical reaction to her little world being shaken. They're perceptive little things and she may not be able to verbalize the fact that she too is feeling overwhelmed.
I am assuming that your husband is in the Reserves. It's been a while since I've had to deal with the military, but I seem to recall that the Red Cross can help you out there. If your doctor is willing to document the fact that your husband is vital to your care, and that of your daughter's I think that the Red Cross can be of assistance. They've got a lot of clout, I've been on a plane that had to turn around and return to base because the Red Cross had a message for a soldier on the plane. It was an interesting situation, there was a Colonel on the plane that said we were going and the Red Cross said we were turning around, we turned around. Hang in there! Things will level out soon.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
#3
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Hey, Star. My husband and I are military brats so I can identify with some of your woes. Certainly not boring!
Can Army Emergency Relief do anything about paying for part-time help for you, someone to check on you each day if your husband is being deployed again? I don't know what base you may live near, if they have any programs? The military doctors are so impersonal, they don't have any patient advocate sorts of people in the hospital? I'd find a social worker or base aid outfit and see if you can't find someone to listen and help you. Doesn't sound like your mother is very helpful, just adds to your stress. How about your husband's mother, do you like or get along with her at all? Any girlfriends or other women's aid programs locally? The constant plumbing problems sound horrible. We had a porch "fixed" and it took 13 months! But it wasn't essential like plumbing. I'm sorry your daughter's having troubles too at this time. How old is she? There are lots of mothers of daughters here, maybe someone has suggestions how to help her and you get along better. That can't be helping your stress. Do you talk to her at all, tell her how you feel?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
#4
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everything seems to be going wrong for me lately too...
I hope some good luck comes into your life soon, and things get easier. |
#5
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My daughter is 2 1/2. She will be three in april. My husband is in the airforce. i don't know what help they can offer me. I don't even have a license to drive so i would be stuck in pain and stuck in the house. I need to be able to go to appt.'s and grocery shopping. Is their anything the airfoce can do? My pain is actually getting worse at this point.
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What is real is not the external form, but the essence of things . . . it is impossible for anyone to express anything essentially real by imitating its exterior surface. -Constantin, Brancusi |
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