[itsjustme111]

Well this is what happened. I phoned my pdoc today to see if he had spoken with my family doctor. He flipped his lid. He was mad because I did not go to my last appoinment with him. I told him I was sorry and tried to explain why I didnt go. It was nerves. I told him I feel bad for not going. Anyway, he said; "are you on your meds". I said no. Then he was really upset. I said, " I found out that I was pregnant so I went off. I found out the day before the last time I saw you. I was unsure of my plans at that time and was shocked of this pregnancy. My old family doctor felt that it would be difficult to become pregnant because of past history of pregnancies." But this was not acceptable to him. He said I was being dishonest with him. I said no I was not, I had to deal with what I just found out. I was doing good other than the shock of finding this out. I was scared of this pregnancy but was excited as well. So he continued to say; "we cant work together if this is how you are going to be." I said that I did not lie. I was feeling pretty good at that time. Lots of things going on with court and all; kids, custody and divorce; but my head was still above water. (do i make sense here). Anyway, he was still having a fit so I said, " thats fine if you dont want to help, I will deal with this on my own. I can't talk to you in this manner."
Then I hung up. Ouch, I have never done that before. To a doctor anyway. I was getting so frustrated because he would not let me explain, he was stuck on this; your not being honest. Anyway; he phoned back and I would not answer; too upset. He said he would no longer be my doctor. So I guess he is not my doc. The problem is; getting in to someone else quickly. Not going to happen. And my family doc will be really mad at me over this. Oh well. Cant change it now. I tried to talk to him and I said sorry for not showing at my appointment. He knows I have difficulites with fears and all. Not that I am using it as an escape goat. I should not have done that. I dont know what to do but I have said this before; so be it.

justme

[krzyk101]

(((((((((((((((((((JustMe)))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))

I do hope that you are able to work out some kind of agreement with your doctor. Perhaps if you offerd some type of 'contract' with the doc.

Wishing you the best to get through these difficult times...

hope thing get worked out for you and that you either get your doctor back or possible get one even better..congratulations on pregnancy.

Take care of yourself-Chris

______________
~KRIS~

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

[itsjustme111]

(kris); yes I agree; I am going to try and talk to him tomorrow. the thing is, he has been good to me in the past. We have had arguments and all but he still does whats in the best interests of me. I feel he can be judgemental and all; and I dont think he is too surprised that i acted the way I did. I feel bad though; I should not have hung up like that; it was very rude of me. Frustration took over but thats no excuse. I will say sorry to him and hope he accepts that. I remember when he hospitalized me before. He was so good to me. He had placed me on eating restriction because of the purging. So I refused to eat for a entire week. I was litterally shaking. He came in to talk with me and I fainted; thank fully he was right there. He caught me and put me in a chair. He said, "you have to eat or I will be forced to put in an eating tube." I told him that I would try my best if he took me off restriction. So we made a deal. He would do that if I went and talked to someone before purging. And that worked out; most of the time. We built a trust, I felt. He really is a good man. I dont think he knows how bad my eating is right now. I have not seen him in a while. I have lost 40lbs since I saw him last. I will tell him tomorrow. I am chicken though. I look sick and he will see it. My bones and mucsles are protruding out of my neck. Well what I mean is ; it looks gross. My face is really drawn. If that makes sense.
Dont worry about the congrats about the baby; but I lost the baby a couple of months ago. Dont you dare say sorry, you had no idea. So dont worry about it.
Thanks; and sorry about going on and on. One of those nights.
justme

[krzyk101]

Sounds like a good idea to apologize to him. It sounds like you trust him alot. I know how it can be at times when the frustration attacks. Sometimes for me it seems that the person I am talking to just can not seem to "hear" what I am trying to say.

I have had alot of communication problems with my past case workers, feeling like they just were not hearing what I was trying to say. Some would in my feeling just talk to me in circles. The same thing over and over, that causes me to become frustrated more than anything for me cause it seems they have their mind made up no matter how much I try to 'get through' to them what I am saying and as you said it being wrong to end up hanging up on them, only I know at times for me, I maybe shoud have hung up only instead said awful things and called them names and such out of frustration. I have learned from this. And do have more self control over it. Only struggle with impulse control.

I am glad he made a deal with you in the hospital over the eating restriction, sounds like he is willing to work with you. If you see him in person, I know he will not look at you as gross. The weight loss that is. He may have more understanding of how much you are struggling right now. Have you lost the weight due to an eating disorder or are you on medications that cause weight loss. I was just wondering as I have not read a whole lot of posts lately. If you do not want to say then that is ok too.

Just want you to know that I do hope it goes well and all gets worked out between you and your doctor. I am working on changing my computer around so hope someday I may talk to you in chat.

Take Care Chris

______________
~KRIS~

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

[gloria]

Good luck in resolving this. It is very hard to find one you can trully trust.

gab

[itsjustme111]

Thank you for sharing this with me (kris). The medication question; I am not on any meds right now. That was another reason he was mad. Because I went off when I found out I was pregnant and never went back on after.
(Gloria). Yes it is hard to find someone whom we can really trust. Very true.

justme

[angel04]

I agree the apology is a good thing but I think he owes you one too. I dont' blame you for hanging up, sometimes that's all we can do when someone is berrating us continually. Have a conversation with him but let him know that criticising and judging isn't going to fly with you and he needs to be a little more supportive. I'd be angry at him if I was you too.
I hope it all works itself out for your sake
((((itsjustme))))
tina

www.jeffgordon.com
www.nascar.com
www.tonystewart.com

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{It'sMe}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I don't think you were rude at all with your doc and I applaude you for showing him that he was crossing your boundaries.

Some doctors, like some teachers/professors think that your world revolves around them and nothing is as important as what they tell you. Your doc sounds like he's that way. Now, I don't know how many times you've skipped appointments and such, so I'm looking at it from one side only. Maybe he feels that you aren't as interested in getting better as he thinks you should be. I'm not saying you aren't, ok?! I'm just trying to figure out where he was coming from. He probably wanted you to come running to him to make your decision about the baby, who knows.

If this is just a black speck in otherwise white rice, then by all means, work it out with him. Weigh the good against the bad and go from there.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[SweetCrusader]

personally, i think the doc was unprofessional. also, he wasn't being objective. he took this personally, and that's ridiculous. if he can't even handle the ups and downs of the therapeutic relationship, you are better off with another doc. he's the professional, you are the client. he is supposed to be rational, understanding, objective and professional. i see none of that going on.

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

[gloria]

Yes sweetcrusaders, but also human, so them too can make mistakes, sometimes out of caring too much.

They do care too much sometimes too, and yes, they should be professional before anything else, but once in a while, it's ok to give them a break, specially if they are really good and you trust them.

gab

[SweetCrusader]

well i realize that. my prob wasn't with the doc caring too much. believe me, if i were to condemn a T for that, i would have to leave my T and i would also have to condemn myself as a counselor at a treatment facility for teenagers- cuz i love those girls. the problem is that, in this instance, he reacted very inappropriately. however, from her other post (which i read in between my two posts here), i do think he redeemed himself and that things will work out ok

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-