having 2nd thoughts

okay so its like 5 days until im supposed to leave for florida. BUT i don't know if i want to go anymore. Ughh i hate feeling like this, i have been very down the past couple of days. I went and visited my guy friend (S) on sunday and i stayed until Tuesday it was a good visit, but on tuesday i cried all day cause i wouldn't see him for four months and then after that who knows. That started the emotion train downwards, since then i have been feeling bad, crying alot (everyone is at school or work so im home alone and no one knows) I went to jack in the box the other day, started crying then cause JIB was the last thing i ate that thursday night when S tried to kill himself. Im not seeing my T anymore no money. But anyway i really don't want to go. i can handle it, its just a thing. but what the post is really about is that i don't know if i want to go to florida, mom said she doesn't want to force it upon me but they have already bought the tickets, but its sorta kinda hard getting excited going to a place when you have no money, and you know when you get down there you have to buy so many different things. UGHhhh...... well i hate to complain or gripe or anything i know that there are so many people in this world that have less than me, and i know that i might never get this oppurtunity again. i know i will prolly end up going it just seems so much easier to stay here get a full time job enroll in a couple of classes and find an apartment. I dont know. why does growing up have to be so hard???? okay just want to say thanks to everyone for listening to my lame post. I appreciate you all!

<font color=red> It's hard being a snowflake in a world of Cheerios!</font color=red>

(((((collegefriend)))))
Good luck in your decision.
Jon

collegefriend

{{{{{{{{collegefriend}}}}}}}

I do understand how hard a decision this must be. I in no way want to say "I think you should do this" or "I think you should do that" but please consider the pros and cons of both going and staying. Aside from all the other emotional turmoil in your life recently I think it would be a very scary thing for anyone to be leaving home for an extended period of time. If you decide not to go, please make sure you are not making the decision because of "cold feet". Also consider the opportunities for the future that you may have by taking this trip.

This is a difficult decision. In the next 5 days try to find some quiet time where you can think about this. I think either way would be a good decision for different reasons. I also think you have a lot of self-knowledge and understanding about your emotions and your goals in life... goals meaning both what you want to achieve and what kind of person you want to be. You are flooded with emotions now. I hope that you can make the decision that is right for you... moreover, whatever decision you make, I believe you have the power to make that decision work for its best. "The world is what we make of it."

Also remember that you are not making a decision that is set in stone for the rest of your life. If you decide to make a go of Florida, you may find that once you are there things are much clearer and that you are supposed to be there. If not there are no police that are going to say "you aren't allowed to return home until your 4 months are up."

I had an extremely difficult decision to make once in life and it was really weighing me down. On the last day I had to make my choice, I still didn't know what decision to make. At that point a counselor said to me "it is not like you can't change your mind later" and for me that thought lifted a tremendous weight off my shoulders and I was then able to make my decision easily, almost instantly in fact.

I want to emphasize thought that it is not like this is a game show where there is a right decision and a wrong decision. You are choosing between two paths and either path will lead to a future that you have the power to make your own. In the end both paths may lead to the same place, they may lead to different places, but each of those places will be full of opportunities. Life is a journey. Whatever you decide, enjoy the journey and what life has to offer along the way.

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--http://www.idexter.com

Hi collegefriend...

I posted this in the temporary forum in response to your decision:

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I don't think you can ever go wrong by trusting your gut instinct. I think you did right by clearing out all the "junk" of what other people were saying, worrying about what they would think, and just getting to the clear core of "What to I want to do?"

If you caught my earlier post, I think this could be considered (like most decisions) not a matter or a right or wrong decision, but choosing between two roads on the path of life. The paths to not lead to "good" or "bad" consequences, what lies along each path depends on what you do with your opportunities along each.

You also have a good plan in place: higher education, job, apartment... Not that it matters at all what anyone else thinks, but to me this indicates truly that you have chosen an alternate path... you haven't stopped traveling just because you decided to take one path, you truly have begun a journey on another.

Best wishes and I hope you have a great summer. Let us know how things are going!

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--http://www.idexter.com