I need some shoring up.......

Behind the scenes, here in my life, turmoil has been swirling around me, to the point of really affecting my mental state. I own a home in another state. I lived there for about 10 years after my divorce. I moved back to Oklahoma to care for my mother who was very ill. After she died, I moved back to the town where I used to live when I was married. My daughter and I both moved back. We had spent two and a half years on the home ranch while she was coming off heroin. It was really tough for her but we achieved her getting clean... and all sorts of physical stuff happened to me. I had a mastectomy revision that was horrible. I had a radical mast when I was but 31. Back then the FDA said that reconstruction was safe. Let me tell you something, it's not. Nine revisions later, I can tell you that it has severely impacted my life in a very bad way.(It ruined a marriage, for starters.) Then after the revision on the ranch, I got rocky mountain spotted tick fever. I almost died. I got a brain lesion and only by finding a top notch neurologist did I squeak through that one. So.......back to the home in the other state. I leased it for awhile. Then I put it on the market. I almost lost it, but regained my financial footing and then put it back on the market and sold it. We went to close this last Spring. The title company said that there was a problem on the title. I was stunned. My neighbor had gone to the courthouse and written he and his wife a warranty deed on my property and borrowed $123k on my property. The bank, obviously, did not do a title search. BUT they got title insurance!!! So, to make a long and painful story short, I've missed the August term for my last year of nursing. My plan is to go into psych or ER...probably ER. I love working in an ER. Now the December deadline is the 8th and we won't be closed by then. I need the money to live on while in the last year of school. I cannot work and go to school.......especially something this hard. I'm smart, but I'm not that smart. Plus, I'm 61~ So, now I'm missing the next term of school. I am so upset about it that I cry all the time and I want to go and do serious harm to my neighbor that did this to me. I fed his parents two meals a day, for three months, before they died....while he sat on his fat butt and scammed people.....and this is what happens after they are gone! I'm hurt, I'm angry and I'm depressed. I was having horrible panic attacks, but got that under control. I'm not much fun to be around. So, I isolate myself as much as possible. Bill is truly my one shining light in my real life. In my internet life, I wouldn't make it without this site....I honest to God couldn't go on if I didn't have you people. By having the humor and the interaction, it's kept me going. But, my well is running really low. And before you ask, yes, my neighbor could do what he did. Anyone can do it. IF the bank doesn't run a title search and find out that you don't own the property that you're borrowing money on. Can you bleeping believe it????????? My atty is toying with the idea of suing everyone that touched the paperwork. That is definitely what I want to do.

Fay I know I'm probably the last member you want to hear from...

You have been through so much in your life, and no, life isn't fair. But you have made it through to now... please give yourself more time to accomplish your career goal. Yes, you would like to "get on with your life" I guess would be one way to say it... but one more semester delay... or 2 more even, well, I don't think that will stop you. Give yourself more time. You're allowed.

((((((Pat)))))

Good gawd that's beyond what any one person needs to ever handle. Let me see if I've got this straight... <ul type="square">[*]death of parent-- after moving to care for her[*]detoxing daughter from heroin[*]breast cancer reconstructive surgery[*]rocky mountain spotted tick fever--brain lesion--near death experience[*]unreal real estate nightmare beyond words!!![*]postponing last year of schooling due to financial situation from real estate nightmare[*](this one I'm adding as a guess) recent job stressors/losses[/list]Holy Strickland Propane!! That's enough to make anyone furious and cry and wail.

I'm with your atty on his thinking. That's some f'd up ***** in a huge way.

How can we help refill your well? You are strong, independent, gifted, intelligent, attractive, whimsical, focused, driven, adventerous, caring, fantastic g-ma, lovable, shall I continue???

This is but another cruddy bump in this journey of life under the colourings of depression. I'm glad to hear the panic attacks are of the past. Nobody needs those!!! Ugh.

((((Pat))))) You've been through enough to kill mere mortals. Cry out what needs to come out. This stuff added up is totally sh*tty.

I'd in awe of all you've survived through. Hug those doggies extra tight. Count down the days until you get to be g-ma!! And let it out this weekend because it is probably the first time you've taken stock of all this. Wowzer. Enough to bowl anyone over.

Pat - You are stalwart, self-sufficient, talented, clever, gorgeous, capricious, alert, motivated, a pioneer, compassionate, incredible….Ok, so I used Zen’s sentence, and a thesaurus!! I’m clever too. ;-)

Sweetie pie, we are all right here for you anytime you need us. That’s what friends are for, right? I cry, you cry, we pass the virtual Kleenex and those cyber hugs. But behind them are the *real* thing and real feelings of love and support for you!

Kisses, emmy

Wow, can I just say ditto to zen and emmy? Pat, what a nightmare. You poor dear, of course you need some shoring up. Anybody would. Just absorb all that goodness and innocence from that lovely granddaughter of yours. She's got plenty to spare and makes more every day.

((((Pat))))

gg

Fay, we don't know each other that well, but I think you are incredibly strong and a survivor.

I never could have done it all - I don't have that kind of courage. You are so articulate, funny and full of wisdom for the people here.

For what it's worth, I believe you can do anything you choose to do...........you have my admiration for your strength of character.

I'll say a few extra prayers for you.

Mary Alice

Hi fayerody,

Just read your post about the landgrabbing neighbour - that's gutting.

Sometimes it pays to take a step back when something as big as this happens. Injustice has a way of creeping into your bones and it is a depression trigger.

As your lawyer is obviously on the case, I would recommend distancing yourself from the issue if you can, and let the professionals sort it out. I know it's hard, but if you can think of your own health and peace of mind before anything else that can't be a bad thing.

So many people get eaten up by issues like this, and it just compounds the hurt. It sounds like you're a strong person, and I'll bet that you'll come through OK. I recently had to deal with an injustice that was getting inside me, and I thought of it like a great weight which I just had to put down. I could still see the weight, but I wasn't standing there holding it all day.

I know it's easy to say.....

Good thoughts to you, Myzen

Well, I am with Myzen on this one. Let your attorney deal with the leagal stuff and yes sue, at least enough to recover his fees as well as your loss of this semester in school. It aggravated your life. You can get some pain and suffering out of that. As for the rest of the things you have dealth with it is amazing how strong you were and are and that you keep plugging away. You should feel satisfied with yourself for being a dealer, a survivor. It's big stuff and you marched through it with determination. Hope things improve.

Thank you!! I try to stay detached from it, but it's hard. I built that place up from a $60k property to something that is really great and it is so personal to me. I did most of the work myself over the 10 years. I feel like he violated the property and me. Evil doer that he is!
I spent quality time with little granddaughter yesterday and today am going to clean house. I haven't had a weekend off since the first of june, except for going to the Navajo Fair with "now you're going to learn something" doofus!! And that was harder work (not leaving him on side of road) than my job was. :-)

Am listening to Cd that I made Bill. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and Johnny Cash, Levon Helm and others singing "Will The Circle Be Unbroken".......

Will try to stay focused today.......

Hey, we can add your neighbor's house to the TP list! I'll pick up another case of rolls. Emmy, you still coming?



Or there is always this ^

gg

Faye:

You don't know me yet. However, I know a bit about betrayal.
My heart goes out to you.

Be careful. There may be more insects under the rock that
your neighbor came from. It would be interesting to know
who is friends with whom in the locale where your property is
situated, as well as in the county seat. I'm not saying that
being "hometowned" is actually what caused your problems in
the first place. If it did, however, it can certainly happen again
when you try to fix the situation. I hope your attorney resides far
from the locale, far enough away that he could not have any
dealings with county officials. Forewarned is forearmed.

Love,
Adieu

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I don't see conspiracies everywhere. If I should stumble over
one, however, I don't shut my eyes and pretend it doesn't exist!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

GG - I'm thinking in the case, the TP should be of the ...um...."used" variety.

em

Yes, I think that TPing his house would be a start....however, he's losing his house......and that cheers me tremendously. He dresses like Elvis (really) and drives an old Cadillac around...that ought to bring up some revenge ideas....he met a woman once and persuaded her to come from St. Louis to visit him...she stayed at my bed and breakfast.....after she told me why she was in the village, I asked her if she'd met his wife yet????? Of course, she didn't know he was married til I said that.....I have the "anxiety" gut ache today.....and had a nice anxiety attack upon awakening...couldn't go to MoveOn.org meeting last night because I was so freaked out about all this. So, I listened on the telephone....that was surreal. Sat there with my big beautiful bowl of black bean salad, bawling and eating.......that ought to conjure up some good images for you all. Snot, tears, etc. It's cloudy AGAIN......so that just helps the old depression stay in place really well.......Thanks, everyone....this is going to be a lonnnnnnnnnnng day.......xoxoxo

(((((((Fayerody)))))))

Sending you loving support at the end of your long day.

I'm very impressed at your dedication to the meeting by listening by phone.....modern, no?

I hope you didn't salt the bean salad too much because it sounds like it got a tear dressing.

Having this time over the weekend combined with everything going on set you up for a doozy of a dip in depression. You'll come through this.

Anxiety can kiss my heiney! I wish I could do anything to take it away from your already full load.

80# of black wet nose and slurppy tongue from my pup to you. Hope you don't mind slobber!!

((((((P))))))

Pat, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Don't know what else to tell you except give you the little saying that soothes my soul when things go down the toilet for me: "What goes around, comes around." I've seen it happen, especially to my ex. (evil grin) There were so many times I wanted to do things to get even with him, but all I had to do was bide my time. He's paid ten-fold for what he did to me and his kids. It's so much more satisfying to know the opposition has paid so much more than you could have thought to do to them... and you didn't lift a finger! LOL

Hey, that [censored] is already losing his house! People like him don't get very far without something else kicking them in the gut! Just sit back and watch and see if what I'm saying is true.

well, sit down....or lie down.......the buyers backed out ....we went to close in March and they have waited this long.......i've spent thousands on legal fees that will come out of the house sale and now they bailed......i was floored......i cried.....i yelled and then i went to walmart and got such a culture shock that it snapped me right back to reality .....there ain't a thing that i can do about this, this week. i'm going to suck it up...do Thanksgiving, see Shar and maybe Phil in Austin and let my kids take care of me.....how's that for a survivor?????xoxoxoxo to every one of you!!!!

OMG you are not freakin serious! UGH!!!!!!! What comes around does go around. Both the wicked neighbour and these loser buyers will find some of this energy to contend with when they least expect it.

I am so sorry this happened.

Do let your kids take care of you. I think that is an excellent idea. I think you'll have a lovely visit in Austin. There are TONS of things to giggle over and I'm sure you'll find several when you're with Shar. Sending you support.

Give Shar a big ol' hug for me and Shar? Give Pat a big ol' hug for me as well if you would please.

(((((Pat))))))

You're always here supporting everyone else. Certainly it's your turn to relax and let us all support you for a while. I can't believe what some people will do! GRRRR!!!

I relate to you about putting off school. I hated it when I didn't get into graduate school last year, after feeling like I had already wasted so much time, and really wanting to move on. Now I'm actually thinking about waiting another year. It's scary and painful. But if I had gotten in last year, and were at graduate school now, I don't know if I could do it. There were too many things I didn't know about, like that we would wind up moving across the state for my husband's job. I guess things work out the way they are supposed to, although it's really hard to see the big picture when you are a tiny speck in the middle of it.

Peace and hope and love to you,
Wendy

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! ONE AND ALL! Evidently the buyers had received some erroneous information.....they may get back on board......we'll see......I didn't tell you guys about my "stalker" ...local football coach......follows me, calls me and called me at work last week. So, with all this other stuff........I called him and had him meet me at Braum's last night. Told him straight out.....I'll call the head coach and you can kiss your job goodbye .....He seemed to be properly impressed and swore that he would leave me alone....said the reason he was doing it was "you're just so nice to everyone and so open" ....I said "ever hear the word POLITE?" ........SO, today seems to be good. Sun is shining first time in over two weeks. I'm making my patient a chocolate macaroon pie... and I'm starting a Thanksgiving thread!! Go see!! Love you all. Pat