[nothemama8]

Gary, Im so glad you responded, okay what does a electronic inspector do, check to make sure the item works right?
We're trying to get a bakery started here so I kind of know the type of stuff you did there.
So sorry about your Mother, I was raised by my Grandmother and when she past away I was so upset, she was my world. When you say conspiracy events do you mean like 9/11?
I wish I liked sports but the only sports I like is figureskating, and ballroom dancing ( yes I know it's not a real sport but have ya ever tried some of those moves) Being an old lady that Iam 55 I like the oldies, but lately I have gotten into Shaina Noll , very peacefull.
I am the Director of a MH consumer owned support center here in PA, we teach daily living skills, cooking, and as I said before we are starting a bakery, I have learned how to write grants and the neat thing about this is that I receive my GED in 1986 and accomplished all of this with only a high school education. I am on disability, hubby and I do not get paid for this work.
There see that wasn't so hard was it to friends getting to know each other plus other will get to know ya too
Angie

[vacantangel]

IG, I have to agree with wants2 and hope that you will either get a therapist if you don't have one or open up to the one you have now and discuss your feelings of being inadequate. I think it would really help you to feel better about yourself. You need to talk with a professional about your lack of self-esteem issues. Right now I'm dealing with my traumas with my T but after that we will be dealing with my total lack of self-esteem, so please don't think you're the only one with these issues.

[Isolated_Guy]

Angie, what I've been doing is inspecing printed circuit boards through all phases on the assembly line. I like it and I'm hoping to go back soon.

9/11 is still one of the major topics of interest. There are too many holes in the "official story", it's frightening. At the most critical moments in our nation's history, our president just sits there and reads "My Pet Goat" to a bunch of kids. I'm glad my mom never was aware of Sept. 11th. Maybe there's some good in everything.

AngelGirl, I may be able to improve my self esteem but all the therapy possible will never make it possible for me to attract a woman.

[nothemama8]

Ohhh you came so close to having a possitive conversation, then ya blew it on your last statement.

but all the therapy possible will never make it possible to attract a woman

That is a lot of whooeee
STOP posting negative, therapy will help you learn to communicate and not finish with negitivaty

Don't worry there's still hope for ya, I don't give up easy
Angie

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I may be able to improve my self esteem but all the therapy possible will never make it possible for me to attract a woman.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Wow! I agree with you there IG. You are completely correct that all the therapy in the world WILL NOT make it possible for you to attract a woman.

Learning that you need to change your perceptions and ways of thinking MIGHT help you in the 'attractive woman' area.

If you are hellbent on sticking to your mindset (which your posts have shown) then therapy will be a frustrating expensive way to spend time.

Hopefully one day you will see that you have pegged all that is 'wrong' or 'bad' in your life on this lack of Playboy bunnies cavorting around you. As if a woman's appearance reflects WHO you are as a person?!

I'm not calling you shallow but that type of attitude is considered shallow by many women. As women who have been objectified as pretty toys (nevermind that we have personalities or brains) we grow tired of this high bar placed on looks. Many times when *I* hear someone going on about how nobody attractive likes them I can figure out why that is the case by listening to the next few sentences out of their mouth. You've been expressing just about every cliched line regarding beauty and its importance.

When you're ready to face your core issues then therapy might be helpful for you. As it stands now with what you write here it does not sound like you are ready to deal with your core issues in therapy. That is perfectly okay but to ***** and moan about the same issue and not try to do anything about it will wear people out. Very few ppl want to hang around someone who is so negative and unwilling to even CONSIDER another viewpoint regarding their life. I know the difference between depressive/manic/anxiety episodes which can erode self esteem to nil and then stick-in-the-mud syndrome. Which one do you think you are?

Again, you are posting here and ppl are responding. If you don't like what I have to say then let me know or just put me on ignore.

My energies here are through. Good luck with whatever choices you make.

[LMo]

Guy:
I just want to preempt your response and say that ZH has some very valid points to consider. Please try not to react too quickly but rather calmly read what she has to say and spend some time thinking about whether some of her truths apply to you.
LMo

[Poppet]

I am sorry everyone, I had a message for Kd and I changed the title of the thread - really sorry, shouldn't have done that, I didn't mean to do anything wrong.

hope you understand, wont do that again.....Poppet

[nothemama8]

No problem Poppet, try her in Dissasocitive if she isn't here
Angie

[kimmydawn]

poppet, dear, you did nothing wrong. i appreciate your posts ALL of the time. you're a fine person

don't think you did anything wrong, kk?

[Poppet]

thanks Angie and Kimmy,

was just starting to feel blue - why does it always happen after a big post, or when I express my care ?

Also feeling annoyed with myself for coming on here again !

kind words mean alot...........hugs,Poppet

[kimmydawn]

poppet, when i "put myself out there" in a post or here IRL, i always feel apprehesion afterwards. you did great tho and i so appreciate your caring ways

[silver_queen]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I am sorry everyone, I had a message for Kd and I changed the title of the thread - really sorry, shouldn't have done that, I didn't mean to do anything wrong.

hope you understand, wont do that again.....Poppet

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Poppet, you did nothing wrong at all in changing the title of the thread... people do it all the time, just sometimes ppl forget to change it to titles more suitable sometimes. Don't worry about it ... you're doing fine!

[SeptemberMorn]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I thought I'd make my reply here instead of the "other" thread because someone there has now made multipule posts expressing blatant disapproval for me.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

No doubt you're talking about me. I don't disapprove of YOU, I disapprove of the way you shake off any advise and help you have been receiving. The disregard for proven methods of changing one's perspective of themselves have been discarded as if they are lies. That is, in essence, what you are doing when you disagree with every bit of help you've been getting.

By no means have I been the only one to tell you just like it is. There have been several, but apparently you have signaled me out for whatever reason. Probably because I've been the roughest in trying to get through to you. Or was it maybe that you indeed checked out my picture and found me "ugly"? If so, I could care less because I know who I am inside. My looks don't matter to me. The people that love me here have told me I have a wonderful smile, despite the fact that some of my teeth are missing. The same people have seen the truly UGLY, inside part of me, but they still love me. What does that tell you? It's NOT looks! It's what's in your HEART! Yours is filled with negativity and that is what people see in 3D, therefore they stay away from you. We here don't because we understand where you're coming from. We are or have been where you are. God knows I have! The only good thing I got when growing up was plenty of affection but I was never told I was good, smart, loved, etc. In fact, I got exactly the opposite. As far as my mom was concerned SHE had failed at producing a viable human being because I wasn't HER only better! I was neglected, abused both physically and sexually by my grandmother, my dad and my first husband. I may have had something, whatever it was, but most of my boyfriends wanted only one thing; a one night stand and then they were gone. All most of them could see in me is someone to use. All of that really gives you a complex, ya know? I knew that all I was good for was for someone to wipe their ****** boots on!

Then I grew up. I was lucky enough to find a man friend who, for years, told me that no one deserved that kind of treatment. It took years for him to convince me and finally start establishing some BOUNDARIES for myself. That meant NOT BELIEVING the crap that I had been fed. That was the start. I started realizing that I wasn't the "faceless" peace of trash I had been made to believe. I stared looking inside of me and I found things I liked and I held firm to them. My thoughts were "If I'm faceless, if I'm stupid, if... AT LEAST I am warm, I am caring, I laugh easily." Then one of my cousins who had also been my grandmothers victim told me "You have a God-given sense of integrity." He is a minister and he is my first love because he was the only one that protected me from our grandmother. I HAD to believe him! "I HAVE INTEGRITY!! Not just integrity but a GOD-GIVEN INTEGRITY!"

Just like you think I'm "in" here, I'm "in" with most of the people I know. I still suffer rejection, I still feel like I'm being ignored. It hurts at first, but what the heck! In the long run, will it matter? No, because through my learning process, I've learned to accept compliments as well as critisism. I look at the critisism and see if any of it could be true. If I think there is a possibility that there's truth in it, I set about changing it.

But you see, the first step in my progress started with BELIEVING the GOOD that I was told about myself. And why? Because I hated being in the Isolated and Ignored position I was in.

When are YOU going to get uncomfortable enough to want to accept all the help that's been given you? Simply put, you like where you are because when you get lucky, you get a lot of pity. Poor substitute for acceptance and love!

Ok, now I'm done... as long as I don't read a little "anonymous" zing at me like the one I'm responding to now.

Oh, and BTW, I'm not so "in" that I haven't had posts deleted, been asked to take a brake from the board and been threatened with banning, ok? I'm not "IN." I'm loved by some of the members! There's got to be a reason why, no? It sure as heck isn't my looks!

<center> FINI </center>

[LMo]

Actually, it IS your looks, Sept... I've had a crush on you for years!

[nothemama8]

Angie

[SeptemberMorn]

LMAO!! You brat! LOLOL So you lik'em "fluffy," eh? And with missing teeth and with no face? LOLOL

Well, it must be that opposites attract because you're beautiful, lively, smart... oh wait! This is about looks, isn't it? Ok... you're beautiful, you've got the long hair that is so popular these days... oh hell! This isn't looks, but you're a world traveler and I live my life vicariously through you! LOL I had better have been one of the ones you mentioned that notice when your gone! I MISS YOU!!

Oooops! Does that make me a sicko or something? hehehehe

<center> </center>

[LMo]

the fluffier the better, my dear!

I might have long hair, but you should get a whiff of my halitosis... so there ya go... looks aren't everything...!

hahahhahaha

[SeptemberMorn]

LMAO!! Wanna compare halitosis??

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

[SeptemberMorn]

Hi, Angie! LMo's quite a character, isn't she? LOLOL

[SeptemberMorn]

hehehehe It just dawned on me!! Ewe's fluffy, too, huh? We's beautimus!!

[Isolated_Guy]

You people will just never get it.

1) Maybe it's denial based on fear of an aspect very basic to human nature in which I keep pointing out.

2) What is so wrong with admitting you're only human and at least giving me the benefit of the doubt when I say looks are THE determining factor of whether or not two people are attracted?

3) I very much feel flattered for all the advice given.


4) You are all correct. Attitude about one's self is so very important.

5) But that's not an absolute truth, as you make it appear to sound,

6) A person can be mean, deceitful, negative, and abusive but will have no problem attracting someone if they have the good looks to compensate.

7) I could have the best attitude possible and it still wouldn't overcome the obsticle of the shell I have to live in.

8) How do I know appearance is as bad as I claim it to be?

9) I've been told so many times.

10) Right to my face and by hearing comments from those around me.

11) When I was turned down for a bartending job once after I qualified, I asked my boss the reason.


12) He told me my appearance would not be good for business.


13) And you still wonder why I feel the way I do.


14) I'll never know the touch of a woman and there's not a thing I can do about it.

15) The truth is hate for those who hate the truth.

[kimmydawn]

no response

[LMo]

Ok, that's cool. If that's how you feel then we can skip this topic altogether in future conversations.

What else would you like to talk about in this forum?

[silver_queen]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
11) When I was turned down for a bartending job once after I qualified, I asked my boss the reason.


12) He told me my appearance would not be good for business.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Perhaps he was discussing the way you dressed rather than your physical appearance?

[h0kie]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
You people will just never get it.

2) What is so wrong with admitting you're only human and at least giving me the benefit of the doubt when I say looks are THE determining factor of whether or not two people are attracted?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

The phrase, "you people" is probably the fastest way to get people upset, IG. It makes me seethe just reading it. It's like looking at someone who is unemployed and saying, "You people are just lazy." Talk about a generalized insult!

I disagree with much of what you said...but #2 the most. Yes, I agree looks have some impact on FIRST IMPRESSIONS. That being said, my husband could look like....like the Phantom of the Opera (to use an example previously given) and I would love him.
I DON'T CARE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!

I think Angie is a beautiful person because of how she treats others. I think SeptemberMorn is a beautiful person because she loves her children and will fight to the death for them. I think LMo is a beautiful person because she cared enough about her husband to stick by him when things were rough.

I could go on all evening...I suspect you haven't bothered to check my post in the Kudos entitled "PsychCentral Warm Fuzzies..." Be cynical and jaded all you like, but do not attempt to make me see your belief. I agree that SOME people are exactly what you say, petty and shallow. But I refuse to make a wide sweeping generalization to say "everyone" is like that.

I've met too many people who have looked beyond my physical appearance to my heart to see the person I truly am. If others choose to judge me based on what I look like, that is one less person I have to deal with. True friends love you not in spite of your shortcomings, but because of them.

I do hope you consider at least consulting a therapist about these feelings.