Self-Perception, how well do you really know yourself?

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Some things that are posted (often by Sep) are so profound, there IS nothing else to say.

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You have my undying gratitude {{{{{{{{{{{{Sky}}}}}}}}}}} I'm certainly proud that you think so because your mind is so much better than mine.

Thank you, also, for taking a blanket statement and qualifying it for me. Your preception of my blanket statements is SO needed to make them complete. So you see? There often IS more to say.

Good point Angela. I look at it similar to the way I define people with mental illnesses.

My husband suffers from a dissociative disorder. He is not DID.

So and so has bipolar disorder, they are not "bipolar".

Someone's actions/ideas failed (I prefer was/were not successful) they are not a failure.

Does that make any sense?

Seems during my current bout of depression that is starting to lift, I abandoned my own thread. There are some really good quotes being given and I'm saving them all in my 'quotes' file on my computer. Thanks guy, september morn and 1day. I'm surprised that my little topic is getting so much attention. I think with reading the responses that I've read up to this point that maybe I should re-think whether I should be adding those additional negative traits to my already overflowing pile. In fact, right here and right now, I'm tossing them back out!!! They can go back from whence they came. I am NOT any of those things, like someone already said (sorry, dont remember who), we know ourselves better than anybody else does. We can not control anybody else's perceptions of us and as of now, I'm going to let them take ownership of them. WOO HOO!!! I FOUND SOME POWER FOR ME!!!

I'm glad I started this thread in the beginning of my fast downward spiral. Keep it comin'. Y'all are really helping me see myself in a better light, a more positive light. I AM A GOOD PERSON!!! I think I actually feel a little hypomania coming on!!!

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Hi folks,

I've noticed a little subtle disagreement on this very interesting thread.

The issue seems to be about low self esteem.

I believe that low self esteem comes with the territory in most mental illness. If we have also been systematically rubbished in childhood, then it is a 'double whammy'. A kind of arrogant defensiveness can grow around us, and this brings more relationship trouble in later life.

Low self esteem is a cruel master, and it continues to hurt us no matter how well we learn to cover it up. We could be complimented a million times and it wouldn't get through.

We could be lucky enough to find that dream partner and low self esteem would wreck the relationship for us. Low self esteem thrives on slights, jealousies, attempts to control, paranoia.

A person with an adequate level of self esteem doesn't need to take slights, get jealous, try to keep control or get paranoid in their relationships. This is because they are not looking for the relationship to complete them; they are already a complete individual. If a person with adequate self esteem comes home and finds their partner in a low mood, they don't automatically thing. "It's me!". They can cope with that jag of loneliness coming from their partner's mood problem.

If a person regularly feels isolated, then I believe that the feeling is internal to that person, and the only place to deal with the problem is in the individual. It took me half a lifetime to realise that I was giving out insecure and needy 'vibes' to people I wanted to be close to and those vibes werestronger than physical features, or clothes or money or anything. The vibes stopped me getting intimacy because people were uncomfortable around me, although I denied it. There is no place lonelier.

In my view, an adequate level of self esteem will put anyone in a good place, with the ability to socialise in the world, take a few knocks, make some friends and maybe find a nice partner that will be happy to be with them.

I have met quite a few happy single people, but they have all been people who were comfortable with themselves - they had to be.

Cheers, Myzen.

PS - I've just realised that this post might be a drift off-topic. IG's original post was maybe just about 'meeting up' with a partner, and I'm talking about something deeper, which may not be IG's issue. If so, my apologies IG.

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Myzen

I can really relate to everything you are saying in this post.

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I wish I could express or explain my lack of self esteem to my husband the way you did in this post. As I was reading I kept thinking I was reading about myself. As it is I have come to blows with my mirror today. It keeps swearing at me.

You said once before - like two peas in a pod. Except for the Cat part. The love of my life is a Dog!

AG - I think you are very, very beautiful!

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Sabrina

I still think we are like 2 peas in a pod. If your mirror is swearing at you sweetie, maybe you should start swearing back or maybe kill it with kindness and maybe then it'll be nicer to you. You are a very sweet person and I feel honoured to be able to have you as a friend.

Talk about other people's perception, I can never imagine that you feel the same about yourself as I do about me, you've been nothing less than kind, loving and supportive with me in e-mail. You are a very, very sweet person and yes a very beautiful one. You have a heart of gold that shines forever. Don't let that mirror tell you otherwise sweetie, cuz it's lying to you. Luv ya bunches!!!

Oh, and if that hubby of yours is a dog, maybe all he needs is a little stroking!!! Now what else did you expect a slightly hypomanic angel to tell ya!!!

Myzen, you are so wise! I love your insights! I've just re-read what you've posted and I got just a bit more out of it than I did the first time. Thank you!

Thank you for your private explanation to my questions, Sweety. I really, really appreciate it. It's so great when two people can check in to make sure they understood each other and be able to resolve the misunderstandings in such a loving way.

Hun, I think you just "flew." In fact, you fly more often than you think.

Love ya!