Not Very helpful

I feel that I am not really here and not really helpful. Sorry folks, I have been fighting this thing with am I ill or am I faking and wanting attention? Then I get up for 10 minutes and get a drink and feel horrid so it answers my question. And the phones. Ringing every 5 minutes. My son is manic right now and a lot of financial stuff happening with him. Mostly he needs a safe place to live. So I try to be attentive to him but I feel like crap and I need to get work done because I am off next week. But I am ill. Still part of me thinks I am faking it. Big vent I know. I am sorry, I don't quite feel here and I hope I have not hurt anyone's feelings.

(((wisewoman)))) I hope you feel better soon. I know you have not hurt my feelings, and I'm sure everyone else feels the same! Just take care of you, and know we're here for you!

Love,
Rayna

Could you get an answering machine for like $10 at a -mart? Turn the phones off for a few hours a day and let them leave messages... I didn't realize they are so young to be out on their own!

(((((((((((((((((((( ww ))))))))))))))))))))))))

i hope you feel better soon.

love,

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{WW}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I hope you feel better soon. Try to take time for yourself sweety!

nightdream

You have always been very helpful to everyone here and now it is time for you to take care of yourself and your son. Please know we all care and wish you peace and happiness.

((((((((((WW))))))))))))

You are extremely helpful! I am so sorry you're going through a tough time right now. Sky's right, get an answering machine and let it take calls for a few hours. You need a break dear.

Take care of yourself,
Kimberly.

Thanks friends. You know it never occured to me to not answer the phones? Yup, strange. I think I am indispensible? So now I am trying to remember I am just ill and life goes on without me. I probably became ill because I was stretching too thin. By the way, I got the afrin the doc ordered and it's disgusting! I am used to the metered dose sinus scripts. How does one do afrin? Okay, I know, basic things I don't know. Add it to the list. Thanks again. As for son, he was manic a year ago to this extreme. He has a good pdoc and they are aware of everything. Hoping he can not be impulsive and not get arrested until this passes. He is 20. This illness is cruel to him. And as a mom all I want is for him to feel safe and secure. Doesn't it all come down to money? If I could I would buy him a house to live. But in reality one of his housemates has a lot of money from Dad and spends it all on pot and doesn't pay bills and my son gets stuck with them. So maybe money is not all it is cracked up to be? Alas, think I am starting to feel a bit better. Thanks again.

oh don't worry about it we're here for you whenever you need us come back when you can *hugs*

Take gentle care. You are valued here.
gg

Wise... I am sorry you are feeling ill and i really hope you are feeling better soon.

You are wanted and needed here. You've helped me, many times.......a caution note about Afrin. it's addictive. i use saline spray because i have been addicted to Afrin and it causes a rebound thing.......
Turn those phones off or get an answering machine. Do for yourself. Take care of you..........pat

Went to work for three hours, called my super bawling. Told her I am sick and can't get disk of records to her today and could she come clean up a few things for me. Three hours or torture. I got through it and then my daughter's car I picked up yesterday was racing. Going 30 without gas. So I stopped by and did paperwork while they replaced an air gasket? Finally home in bed. Puppies are playing on me, all three. Little one goes for the face. Giving him empty drug bottles to play with. His favorite is the toothbrush he loves. A little nervous about him piddling on the bed, trying to get him to stay on the towels. You guys are so very kind. Each of you, silver, faveroday,gg and spaz. Thanks. I really feel like pooooo. It's gotta get better right?

richard gere believes that blues music heals. i believe puppies do.....xoxxo

awww, he is so dear too.

i think that john lee hooker's music is so awesome. i've discovered someone else. pinetop perkins.....piano.......the blues would be my favorite type of music right now. do you know jonny lange? i may have his first name spelled wrong. but he's still a kid and his rendition of "hey little schoolgirl" blows me away every time i play it..........

Sadly, I have never become someone who knows how to find soothing or touching music. If I hear it It's great but I am always so into my head I can honestly say I haven't turned on a car radio since 9/11. My hubby sings for me sometimes and maybe I should have him put on a mix of comforting music when he gets home. No I am not lazy. Music was NOISE and a beating, possibly being called a slut, ***** etc. I have pretty much unternalized that and now if I hear something soothing it moves my heart but I can't seek it. YUP, I know it is strange. Gotta get the b'''itch out of my head and reclaim the space.

Lang, age 22, makes my skin shiver. I also like to curse his brilliant talents but he's too good to hate. This kid will be quite something in another decade. He's already somthing now but whoooeeeeee that kid sure knows how to caress music out of an electric guitar. Jonny Lang

And yes I agree puppy threrapy is great.....however when they are at that needle sharp teething stage......... lol

WW I hope you are smothered in puppy goodness.

Pat I know you are rocking out and chasing after that gorgeous little beauty of yours.

Both of you ladies take care.

(((((((((((((((wisewoman))))))))))))))))))

Big hug from me............You are helpful and you are ill. Its that old mind thing playing tricks on you.
You have a lot on your plate by the sounds of it, but methinks them pups are a comfort (once you get them toilet trained !).
And see how much ppl here care - its so lovely.

Peace, if possible ...........Poppet

wise,

It isn't about getting the inner b itch out of your head instead it is learning to use music to soothe the savage b itch.

I know my issues are different but I can fully understand what you've written here and just thought I'd offer up my perspective of trying to drive out the 'bad' or 'negative' parts. Doesn't work! Instead you learn to win them over, earn their trust, and compromise.

A little of more flies with honey than vinegar.......... Also a lot of self love involved which is hard when one feels like you've expressed feeling.

Bit by bit you have been replacing the older coping strategies with newer and better ones. You're quite capable of this and when the time is right that inner b itch will soften up enough for you to see she isn't so awful after all.

(((wieswoman)))

WW........try to find some piano music by Maria Pires.......i think you'd like it...p
zh....jonny came onstage, in an undershirt and jeans, and colleen and i swooned and we havn't been the same since..........

Can i give a safe hug to the younger you ? I am sad for you that music meant such bad things. But its good that you have more or less unternalised ( never heard this word before, but I like it and will use it myself ) that stuff.
Still, it sounds like a damaging experience and I wanted you to know that I picked up on it.

(((((((((((safe hugs)))))))))))))))

Poppet


((((((((((((((safe hugs))))))))))))))

I hope you're feeling better ww!

Thanks kids, let's just say when it rains it pours. Son way in crisis and now I have no chlice, I function.

Boy do I know that, when it rains it pours. Hang in there. I hope you're feeling better soon. Take care of yourself. {{{{{{{{wisewoman}}}}}}}}